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I have decided that this is the year for transformation. Mind, body and spirit, I'm working on every aspect of my life and myself. That includes my self image. I've come a long way in a lot of ways, but I still have a long way to go.
I've struggled with weight all of my life. I've been every size that you can imagine, very thin and very fat and I'm so sick of thinking about it and talking about it that I've decided, come what may, this is the year that I figure it out. My weight has been my first thought every morning, and my last thought every night for years. I have looked in the mirror and felt shame and regret and disdain for a long time. I don't want to do that to myself anymore. I don't want to do that to my body. After all, what has my body done to deserve that kind of treatment? Nothing. As a matter of fact, this body has done many wonderful things. This is the body that is capable of swimming, strong and far, even though it's overweight. This is the body that sings well enough to have earned a living at it now and again over the years and this is the body that I used to dance, which is something that I loved to do and I really miss it. This shell that I reside in creates delicious, nutritious meals that bring my family together each night, creates the lessons that I use to homeschool my children, creates the jewelry that I design to adorn women and make them feel beautiful. It has walked me up the aisle to marry my husband, brought two very special human beings into this world, nursed them, carried them, nurtured them. This is the body that despite all of the abuse, still presents whole and healthy. And what have I done to show my appreciation? I have belittled it and treated it with disdain and even hated it. I have not treated it with the love and respect that it deserves, that it has earned.
That's over. It's time that I treat my body well and I'm off to a pretty good start this year. Not only am I doing the obvious (get rid of the junk, move more, cut the white stuff out), but more than that - this year I'm treating my body with respect. I'm figuring out when I'm hungry and when I'm eating for emotional reasons. You might be surprised to know that not all of us know this instinctively anymore. It seems I lost my fullness meter, but I'm finding it again. It really does help to stop and ask myself what I'm really hungry for. Most of the time? It's connection. That surprised me. There are a lot of things that are surprising me. I'm really getting to know my body for the first time in a long time and for the very first time, I'm making friends with it and showing it some appreciation. After all, it's the least I can do.
Christine blogs about her life at ColorMePink! and about her designs at StarBright Jewels
