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Are Bloggers Hypocrites When the Comments Start Pouring In?

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Well I don't know about other bloggers, but I am sure feeling like one. I've felt the hypocrisy creeping in as my blog grows but my hours in the day do not. The transition into this new stage of blogging is causing me some stress so I thought, why not blog about it?

When you first begin a blog, every comment is a gold coin to slip through the slot of your very empty piggy bank. You go back to the comment and read it just as a child revisits his bank to shake it and hear the coin rattle around or even jiggle it out to admire it and polish it up.

However, as the coins and comments accumulate, it becomes impossible to polish and respond to them all. Suddenly, the bank is just too heavy to shake, and planning how you will spend the money takes more of the child's time just as responding to all the comments takes away time from new posts and opportunities you want to pursue.

Here I am with a meager 70-100 visits a day, and I find myself bemoaning my hypocritical state as a blogger. I am asking people to read my blog, comment, share it with others, help me grow, participate, and yet I for the most part I will not be able to return the favor. I will not be able to read their blog, comment, or promote them.

At what point is a blogger exempt from responding to each and every comment and reading long lists of blogs? I still read several when I can, but not at all like I used to or want to. I try to promote a core group of friends, but I often fall short in that area, as well.

I guess it's similar to the dilemma of anyone climbing to the top in something. Young hopefuls go from door to door, and audition to audition hoping someone will listen. Finally, someone does and suddenly they find themselves needing a bodyguard to go out on a Friday night.

Okay, so maybe that's a crazy comparison, but you get the idea. I love my readers and want to show them how much I appreciate them and hear them as they share from their lives, but I have to earn something if I am to keep this blogging thing up, and that means less time commenting and more time on the paying jobs.

The sad part is that the interaction between writer and reader on blogs is one of the greatest, newest and exciting parts of publishing online. Never has it been so easy for those with an opinion to share it so immediately. And those comments often times are helpful, insightful, encouraging, and needed. I always read other's comments on my posts and I do value them, yes even the ones that don't see things my way.

One of the positives of more comments, though, is that the readers begin meeting each other and establishing relationships with each other and that truly makes me happy. I'm thrilled when two of my readers meet through the comments section and can encourage each other.

Am I a blogging hypocrite? Yes, and likely to remain so. But I think most mommy bloggers would agree that I would rather be a hypocrite as a blogger than a hypocrite as a mommy. If I spend all my time writing about the privilege and joy of motherhood but do not actually spend time with my daughter, then that is the hypocrisy I fear most.

Please dear reader, if I don't read your post or reply to your comment, then assume I was at the park with my daughter enjoying her laughter, and most likely you will be right.

Janna - Can also be found at The Adventure of Motherhood.

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Tola 5 pts

Came across this post from Outspoken and I was curious..
I guess its one of those things in life. There's just not enough hours in the day to get everything done, from responding to comments and emails and stuff.
I think the most important thing is that every now and then you write posts like this which keep your readers informed about why you're doing the things you're doing, so they know you're still grounded and all... :)

jannajoy25@hotmail.com 5 pts

I'm honored to hear you made it through comment registration hell to comment:) And honored that someone who has content that generates so many comments took time to comment on mine.

Janna - Can also be found at The Adventure of Motherhood ( http://theadventureofmotherhood.blogspot.com ).

jannajoy25@hotmail.com 5 pts

After 50-100 comments its not really worth it to me unless I just have a response burning inside me.

Janna - Can also be found at The Adventure of Motherhood ( http://theadventureofmotherhood.blogspot.com ).

jannajoy25@hotmail.com 5 pts

It's great to hear these relaxed approaches to interaction. I feel the same way but never meeting most of my commenters you don't know how they perceive your silence.

Janna - Can also be found at The Adventure of Motherhood ( http://theadventureofmotherhood.blogspot.com ).

jannajoy25@hotmail.com 5 pts

Yes so many of the comments have helped me realize that
readers worth having will undestand on the days I just can't respond. I've started blocking off time too and that helps relieve the stress as well.

Janna - Can also be found at The Adventure of Motherhood ( http://theadventureofmotherhood.blogspot.com ).

jannajoy25@hotmail.com 5 pts

How true! Thanks for the reality check!

Janna - Can also be found at The Adventure of Motherhood ( http://theadventureofmotherhood.blogspot.com ).

jannajoy25@hotmail.com 5 pts

Congrats on your blog launch.

Ultimately I've decided you have to do what keeps you sane and allows you to have a clear conscience and putting my famiy first does that.

Janna - Can also be found at The Adventure of Motherhood ( http://theadventureofmotherhood.blogspot.com ).

1sheree 5 pts

There has to be a balance. I think it is important that the blog owner respond to new commenter because it makes them feel like a part of the community. They feel welcome. However, zero responses to new commenter or zero replies to questions (or request) from current members makes everyone question, "Has the blog owner gotten too big to participate with the community?"

I've seen this happen on the PW. She has a huge following, however I don't see her name in the comments sections or welcoming newcomers.

Liz Rizzo 5 pts

I've always participated in the blogger community at large, but didn't respond to comments on my own posts back in the day (circa 2005/2006). When I look at an old post and see wonderful comments I let stand without reply, I feel bad that I didn't jump on to say, Hey, thanks! Or OMG, you're so right, or Eff off! lol

I don't know, back then I just wasn't having a "conversation" on my blog. I was writing, and when people would comment I would read the comment and SO appreciate it, but comments were more of a driver to keep on keeping on. Honestly, I learned about the "conversation" at BlogHer.

Now I'm totally different and enjoy interacting with my commenters (who are usually so smart and nice BTW!). Sometimes I respond to each comment, but sometimes I'll just jump on and make one big comment and respond to everybody.

Sometimes it takes me some time to get back to my blog to respond to comments, but I make a point to get to it regularly. :)

Liz Rizzo ( http://blogher.org/blog/liz-rizzo )

I blog at Everyday Goddess ( http://everydaygoddess.typepad.com/ ).

June Gardens 5 pts

It is ironic that this post is about leaving comments, because I just went through hell and back setting up a BlogHer account to leave a comment. Ack!

Anyway, I get about 1000-1500 readers a day, and sometimes over 100 comments, and I assure you I read them ALL. I love comments. Please don't hesitate to comment if someone gets a lot of them!

But replying? Even though I don't have kids, there is no way I can reply to everyone.

My feeling is, YOUR BLOG is the reply. You post something, people respond, you post something else. That is the conversation. Replying to everyone is an above-and-beyond thing.

Sometimes I reply within the comments for everyone to see, but I rarely answer anyone personally anymore. I think readers understand.

frenchy Chick 5 pts

I So understand....My blog is getting 1000+ hits a day and many comments. Some of my parties have more than a 100 comments. I can't go to see each comments from my reader's blogs each time. I visit a few...the ones who comment the most. I DO reply on my blog and thank people on my posts comments. I hope that my readers will know that they can always talk to me and be answered there. It will get harder but one thing i enjoy in big blogs is the writer commenting on it's own posts to people.

Frenchy...Born and raised in Paris, France...Hubby's is American, Founder and inventor of Amber Alert GPS. 3 Darling kids. Lives in Utah....Designer, fashionista, decorator, crafter, cook, gardener...Anything French.

http://www.lechateaudesfleurs.blogspot.com/

ziggy1962 5 pts

I've been blogging a little over a year & I don't think any blogger responds to every comment. I do try to respond to as many as I can, but as a single mom working full-time & in school full-time, I have trouble just scheduling a post for my blog. Plus, some bloggers make it difficult to leave a comment (like I had to sign in to leave a comment here - luckily I was a member, but a lot of these sign-in comments, I'm not a member, so I don't/can't leave a comment).

(thanks for visiting my blog).

Sugar_Mama 5 pts

I'm with Expat Mum, If I see a lot of comments, I don't comment... because really, who reads all of those!

My blog is slowly growing and I'm already getting a tad nervous over my "trying to please everyone" issues.

But, if I want to continue doing well at my other work from home job AND take care of my family then the time spent on blogging is often set aside. Everyone here understands what your dealt, and that's all that matters, right? ;o)

Sugar_Mama

http://dailydoseofsugarmama.com

moxiemom 5 pts

Congrats!

Best,

Margee 

Blogger at www.moxiemom.com ( http://www.moxiemom.com ) and author of the iPhone app, Sleeping With the Laundry: Notes from the Mommy Track, a 5-Star rated

Expat Mum 5 pts

I as blogger who does read a lot of blogs, I have to say that if I see 100 people have commented before me, I don't bother to leave a comment. I assume most bloggers with that kind of response don't have the time to read or respond to them.

Motherbumper 5 pts

So true, SO TRUE. I used to respond to every comment on my personal blog and encourage conversation but that old 'work / life balance' became so unbalanced that I had to step back and prioritise. Being a parent won without a second thought but the guilt of the hypocrisy still weighs me down. Nothing is ever easy it is? Big sigh.

DonnaFreedman 5 pts

I started my site a little over two weeks ago, and am still figuring out how to make "bebopping around the net" happen regularly.
How to find and read new sites instead of staying in familiar territory.
How to make time for this on a consistent basis.
And how to do this while still making time for my day job (also writing) and for crafting substantive entries on my own site.
Oh, and for having fun at least 75% of the time.
I expect there's a learning curve. But for now, I'm just happy that people *are* commenting.
If I don't answer every single one, I too apologize. But choices have to be made. For me, at 52, it's sleep and exercise.
For anyone with kids at home, it's not even a choice: You spend time with the folks you love, and the folks who *want* to love you (i.e., those of us who come to read your stuff) will have to learn to wait our turns.

JennaHatfield 10 pts

Are you actively bebopping around the net and commenting on posts that you find interesting? That still counts as participating in the community. We can't always reply to every last comment. Ever. And it will all be okay. :)

Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )), from Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ), is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

Vered 5 pts

When I've finished my work for the day and it's time to choose between answering one more comment or spending time with my kids, I feel zero guilt about choosing the latter.

Another bonus: as you gradually become less active as a commenter, the number of comments left on your own blog will slowly decrease, making the whole thing more manageable.

----

Vered DeLeeuw

Professional Blogger ( http://momgrind.com/hire-me/ ) and Social Media Consultant ( http://www.socialmediamarketingexpert.net/ )

perlesrose 5 pts

I think most folks will understand if you do an auto responder with your last paragraph.
"Please dear reader..." and end with something like "as I hope you understand, being Mommy is my primary job... etc.

I don't have that problem, as I'm a sporadic blogger at best and don't have a finite focus.

http://perlesink.blogspot.com/

WritRams 5 pts

What a great post. I completely understand. I have had my blog since 2005, but just in the past couple of years have gotten serious and started to grow it...which means my time to read other blogs has gone waaay down, too. I find subscribing to the blogs I really want to keep up on has helped. I might not always have time to read/comment, but they are there in my inbox if I want. Also, I recently made a daily schedule for the work week (yes, it was hard) where I penciled in (a few times a week) "Social network with other moms/women/writers." (Seriously. I know.) And you know what? I have found this blocked out hour LIBERATING on those days. For some reason, I no longer feel guilt while I'm reading/responding/commenting/chatting/social networking now.

Just know, most of us understand. Although we wish it were true, many of us do not make enough money from our blogs to be our sole job. (I freelance/consult/educate, too.) AND...many of us are in the park with our kids, too. Just pencil it in, you won't feel guilty that way.
;o)

Jacqueline Wilson (aka: WritRams) is a writer, blogger, educator, mother and wife. You can find her on her Writer Ramblings blog at www.WritRams.com ( http://www.writrams.com ) writing about a little of everything...maybe even you.

missbritt 5 pts

See also:

I will NEVER make my own children do chores/wear non-designer clothes/go to bed early/etc etc etc.

:-)

Miss Britt

http://www.miss-britt.com

"Dignity is Overrated"

beyondpalegal 5 pts

Jorja White

www.livingbeyondthepale.com ( http://www.livingbeyondthepale.com )

i launched my blog this past week and it is crazy trying to keep up with responding to comments, but i do want to. how easy it is to bark at your kids while you are trying to respond to a reader - ha! i do think it is all part of the process, trying to get in the groove and figuring out what your own personal capacity is and then learning to live with it.