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Are gay and lesbian relationships healthier and happier than straight ones? Recent studies indicate this may be the case. What are the differences between gay couples and straight ones, and do gay couples hold the keys to happy long lasting love?
Research done by psychologist Robert-Jay Green, executive director of Rockway Institute, finds there are two key factors which promote healthier relationships in gay and lesbian couples: greater flexibility in gender roles and more equal division of parenting and household tasks.
"It all comes down to greater equality in the relationship. Research shows that lesbian and gay couples, by virtue of being composed of two partners of the same gender, have a head start in escaping the traditional gender role divisions that makes for power imbalances and dissatisfaction in many heterosexual relationships,” says Green.
Read full article Same sex couples have better marital relations.
Green also conducted a series of studies with Michael Bettinger, PhD, and Ellis Zacks, PhD, which found lesbian couples to be emotionally closer than gay male couples who, in turn, were found to be emotionally closer than heterosexual married couples.
“Our research found that the most successful couples demonstrate closeness and flexibility,” said Green.
“We found high levels of both characteristics in 79 percent of lesbian couples, 56 percent of gay male couples, but in only 8 percent of heterosexual married couples. Clearly, the more egalitarian approach taken by same-sex couples is an advantage that could benefit straight couples too,” he concluded.
Read the article Where Gay Couples Fare Better.
In two different studies, both published in the January 2008 issue of Developmental Psychology, researchers compared committed lesbian couples, committed gay male couples, married heterosexual couples, and engaged heterosexual couples. The first study was done to examine how well the couples interacted and how satisfied they were with their partners.
Results showed that same-sex relationships were similar to those of opposite-sex couples in many ways. All had positive views of their relationships but those in the more committed relationships (gay and straight) resolved conflict better than the heterosexual dating couples. And lesbian couples worked together especially harmoniously during the laboratory tasks.
Read the article Equal Level of Commitment and Relationship Satisfaction Found Among Gay and Heterosexual Couples
The second study published in the January 2008 issue of Developmental Psychology, examined whether legal status of relationships affected relationship quality.
The researchers found that same-sex couples were similar to heterosexual couples on most relationships variables, and that the legalized status of a relationship did not seem to be the overriding factor affecting same-sex relationships [...] The findings also showed that same-sex couples, regardless of civil union status, were more satisfied with their relationships compared to married heterosexual couples. Same-sex couples reported more positive feelings toward their partners and less conflict than heterosexual married couples, said the authors. They theorized that there may be societal pressures and norms, as well as the presence of legal status as a couple, which may contribute to heterosexual couples staying together even when they are not happy. Alternatively, most long-term same-sex couples have to stay together by their own will and hard work since they don't have society's forces on their side, Balsam added.
Read the article Equal Level of Commitment and Relationship Satisfaction Found Among Gay and Heterosexual Couples
In analyzing the findings of all of these studies, it seems to me that gay couples do not inherently have happier and healthier relationships, but rather they may start off with a few extra tools for maintaining happier, healthier relationships. Based on these studies, gay couples bring flexibility in gender roles, more equal division of labor with regards to household tasks and parenting, closer emotional relationships, and better conflict resolution skills to our relationship, those things which when brought to a heterosexual relationship would result in happier couples too.
Drawing on experience from my own relationship and in examining the relationships of my closest friends, I would say the findings of these studies hold some validity. The couples I know who seem very happy, all appear to have close emotional relationships, equal divisions of labor, and at least some flexibility in their gender roles. They are probably also good at conflict resolution, but I've never really been a witness to their disagreements, so I couldn't say for sure.
I could see how assumed roles, based on gender, in a marriage could cause huge amounts of conflict and resentment. At the same time, I don't understand why couples wouldn't discuss these types of things before they commit to one another. When Betty
