Are Kids Overmedicated, Really? Interview With Judith Warner, Author of We've Got Issues

My son has ADHD with OCD tendancies as diagnosed by a panel of doctors and therapists after extensive testing and many, many trips to different doctors to find one who would listen. We knew he was struggling by the many call, progress reports and the difficulty socializing with peers that he had. Everyone loves him he just has a hard time relating to his age, he tends to head for younger by a year or so friends.
When I finally found a doctor who explained everything in a way that didn't frighten his father into thinking his son was broken and could live a normal life. She prescribed Concerta in such a small dose we have to have it special ordered by the local Walgreens. What an amazing change!! He was happy, he could concentrate more, learning difficulties that he hadn't been able to show because the teacher was busy telling him to get to work and sit still showed themselves and we were able to get an IEP in place. Some of the family still thinks we are horrible for letting him stay on medication. We however have a smiling child who with the help of wonderful Math and English teachers wants to go to school each day and last week proclaimed 3 days in a row that "School was Great!".
People who claim we are overmedicating children or question the validity of children's mental illness as a plausible diagnosis and not bad parenting are "Well meaning morons".

I am one of those adults who recognised the signs in myself as I watched my child flounder in school. I did NOT want her to live the struggles I did as a kid and I knew I could get her the help she needed that my parents didn't (so I thought) care to for me. Judith Warner's book is an eye opener for me as I am REALY realizing that there were no such terms for diagnosis then or the options for treatment that we have today. The problems were there for children and youth, but we were weird, irresponsible, or whatever label our peers and the community wanted to apply to our behavior. I was not diagnosed until I was 32yrs old, after my daughter was tested and identified as well. When she started medication it was like a different child came forth; well no, her attentive, loving, communicative fun self was able to just be :)

Mel~ Is a mother of three wonderful children and a writer/blogger at http://www.mytwistedstitches.blogspot.com

Rita,
It's serendipitous that I found your post. I JUST received this book in the mail. I'd ordered it after its' recommendation on http://www.bpkids.org/ and I can't wait to hear what she has to say. My oldest is living with early onset mental health issues as well and I have to be very careful who I share information with. The stigma is so deeply ingrained that even I feel like I am being judged or I'm doing something wrong whenever anyone sees the arsenal of scrips that are part of our daily regimen.

I know that I have to lovingly, sternly, and resolutely parent the child I have, not the child/behavior I wished to have. However, I have frequently received the, "How can they be on all that medicine?" and "They don't need all that." from certain family members and it makes life as a parent extremely difficult. I certainly do wish I could have said family member absorb what Judith Warner has to say somehow. Osmosis maybe? Yeah Right!

Thank you for your great post. :)

Mel~

Mel~ Is a mother of three wonderful children and a writer/blogger at http://www.mytwistedstitches.blogspot.com

Man, I am SO bummed I missed this piece and the ensuing discussion!

I loved Ms. Warner's book and was so relieved that finally, there was a whole book devoted to debunking this ridiculous myth.

When we made the decision to begin medicating our son, we lay awake at night, agonizing over the decision. We knew we would do it because our little boy was suffering, but it is NOT an easy decision to make.

Even as the mom of two boys on Concerta, I'm still not sure how I feel about this. I can remember classmates in the 80s who looking back were clearly on the autism spectrum but undiagnosed. I myself am ADD with Executive Function challenges, but never recognized the obvious signs (nor would my mom have been inclined to believe in treatment for such a thing).

As I count the nearly dozen children I know with an ASD diagnosis (including one of my own) in our tiny community, and those ads that count those diagnoses closer and closer to 1 in 100, I am starting to wonder in this is the new normal, and then, IS there a normal?

And yes, I know that "normal" is not a word we like to really use, but as I look around at my community and its plethora of "quirky" kids and the dozens of mothers who are on anti-depressants, I'm wondering if there's really something "wrong" with all of us, or if it's the way we live our lives.

- Lisse

@ Home in the World: International Adoption and Other Travels ( http://homeintheworld.typepad.com )

As a mental health patient myself growing up in a home with every acronym in the book, I too scoffed at the notion that kids are misdiagnosed.

Both of my kids are on meds. My oldest fully realizes the difference it makes in her daily success. I am happy to see that Ms. Warner is informing people of the reality. Better diagnosis tools do not an epidemic make.

I know that if the pathologies were as clear 20 years ago as it is today, I would have done much better in school. I would have had more self-esteem because I would have been completing tasks on time with less anxiety. It took me a year to get my 8 year-old the ADHD diagnosis she needed.

Astacia aka mamikaze
( http://mamikaze.com )

Rita, I'm so glad you and Judy were able to chat, because I had a feeling that her topic-- and her change in approach to the topic halfway through the project -- would resonate with so many people. (Our daughters are classmates, that's how I know her!)

And thanks so much for the shout out on my book, though Amazon has the title wrong at this point -- it will be called (at this point!) Mothers of Intention: How Women and Social Media are Revolutionizing Politics

:)

PunditMom
aka Joanne Bamberger
http://www.punditmom.com

If my child were diagnosed w/ a mental illness, as with any other illness, I would explore *all* possible options for medical care, including medication.

I experienced a lot of depression in my youth--the first instance I can vividly recall was in 3rd grade: I was in a dark, existential funk that I just couldn't shake. I felt purposeless in my life, and was overly bogged down by the 'bad' things in the world (death, hate, nuclear war). I thought it was normal, so I couldn't understand how everyone around me was so freakin' lighthearted all the time.

It wasn't until I was an adult, and availed myself of therapy that I realized what I had experienced as a kid was depression.

Thanks for this interview--I keep a close eye on my kids because hub and I both are prone to depression. Genetically, my kids are predisposed. I'm looking forward to getting my hands on this book, now, too!

~Margaret

Just Margaret ( http://maurhoffbarney.blogspot.com )

I've been reading this article and comments with interest. My children attend a school for gifted and talented. I do a lot of recruiting and mentoring of new families at the school. I can't tell you how many parents have horror stories about how their children were treated/mishandled/mislabeled elsewhere. Most parents have some kind of story. Many had the eye-opening experience of a psychologist telling them, "Your child isn't ADHD. He/She's just bright."

It's not right, and I wish both families (because often the parents have no idea and are resigned to having a "troubled child") and the mainstream school system would do a better job of referring families out to psychologists (and the health care system would do a better job of making this an affordable option...) who can assess a child and offer a professional opinion about their strengths and weaknesses, issues and challenges.

I write on Suburban (In)sanity ( http://beckersmith.typepad.com/my_weblog/ ). I have two kids, two cats, a dog, a husband and a minivan. I live in the suburbs now and try to stay sane. Some days, I succeed.

As a person who grew up in a community that frowned upon meds and even therapy, my eyes have been opened over the years, as I learned to deal with stress and depression of my own as an adult. I know alot of loving, busy, stressed parents who are so frustrated at the idea of being unable to help their kids through anxiety attacks and feelings of overwhelm, that they've begged their family doctor to prescribed medication to "help their kids cope." Fortunately, I found my way to mental wellness via a complementary adjunct of traditional therapy, meds temporarily, and ultimately meditation, yoga and exercise. One method is not a catchall magic cure for everyone. But as my sons maneuver the journey into adulthood, with increased demands and responsibility, I feel blessed and more well-informed than the previous generation that determined putting your head down, working harder and no meds or discussion was needed other than one's own bootstraps. I'm teaching them the benefits of self-mastery through meditation, deep breathing, self-care like nutrition and exercise...and even the benefits of talking with a trusted source, for feedback and release. Thanks for the interview Rita, as clearly open conversation is still very needed.

MiChelle Jeneen

www.spiritrefreshed.blogspot.com ( http://www.spiritrefreshed.blogspot.com )

Right before I read this, I had just finished making an appointment to meet with an OCD/anxiety specialist about my son next week. Considering that all 6 members of my immediate biological family take medication for depression, anxiety, or OCD, it wasn't too surprising to find my children also suffer with these mental health issues. As others have said, my husband and I have sought multiple opinions and educated ourselves - we do not medicate our son lightly. As one expert said to me this summer, "It is the humane thing to do. A 7 year old shouldn't have to suffer through this before he is old enough to learn to manage his anxiety in other ways as well."

If medication is making *anyone* act like a zombie, the dosage or medication is wrong. Medication that works doesn't impact your ability to enjoy life, it enhances it.

I resisted medication well into adulthood because I thought it would hurt my writing. The huge irony here is that once I was able to stop endlessly worrying, I was able to write more prolifically and better than ever before. Those of us with anxiety disorders spend a tremendous amount of time -- in my estimation, probably half of my waking hours as a kid -- worrying. Think of what could be achieved in that time with no worry.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

My particular anxiety played out via perfectionism. I'm not saying my parents should've realized there was something deeper going on, but it was something I convinced myself was normal even though I saw my friends acting differently than I did. If a kid is acting as though life has ended because of a B instead of an A, there might be something wrong.

And if the parent acts like that, um, we need to chill out.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

Nobody should have to live with downloads of stress-inducing hormones, especially not kids. Most parents are not doctors, and doctors are better trained to see these things now than they were in the past. We also don't lock people in rubber rooms for anxiety anymore. One point Judith made was that in the past, a lot of kids who are walking around today would've been institutionalized in the past.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

My husband is extremely well adjusted. I am hoping my daughter got his brain chemicals, not mine. :)

However, I try to give my daughter the vocabulary to talk about emotions. One thing that my doctor has been able to help me understand is that emotions are not good or bad, they just are. It's how you act on them that can be good or bad. If you're cold, you shiver. It's your body's response to a trigger. If you're sad, it's your body's response to a trigger. Then you have to figure out if the trigger warrants your level of response. If it doesn't, that doesn't mean you're ridiculous for feeling it, it just means you need to figure out how to regulate that response -- whether it's through deep breathing or getting more sleep or changing your diet or exercise, or, in more extreme cases, via therapy or medication. It all depends on the level of severity and the person's ability to self-soothe in a productive way.

I hope I can model for my daughter when I realize I'm having an unwarranted emotional response to a trigger and what I'm doing to help myself feel better, that no emotion is bad, they just are. You can choose how you want to act on those emotions. We have frontal lobes. We get to choose, and if we're having trouble choosing, there are ways to help us do that.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

If we have kids in our lives we feel are overmedicated, I think we need to support the parents, make sure they know we are not judging them, that we want to help.

I'm not saying it's not possible some kids are on meds that don't need them, but even if they don't need meds, they probably need support and guidance in some way.

That said, anybody who has a kid on meds needs pyschological, physical and moral support. Nobody WANTS their kid to be unhappy. Parents are struggling to help their kids any way they can in a country that, quite frankly, is not all that supportive of parents -- via insurance issues, healthcare issues, supporting working or stay-at-home parents with affordable childcare, etc.

We need to support parents, teachers, school administrators and doctors better than we do now. We need to stop blaming and start solving.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

I don't think medicine alone has "fixed" me. I'm on an extremely low dose of Zoloft. What helped me more was to understand that this was not something I myself "cause" by being an overanxious person, that it's not something I could control anything more than I could control mentally a rash or a broken bone. It's how my body reacted to what was going on inside.

I do believe the right medicines can, indeed help. If you're not feeling relief, perhaps you need to try different combinations. Medicating the brain is not that well understood, and we are all very different inside.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

Thanks, Liza, but I don't know how courageous it is to write about it. It's more healing. I just hope my own parents realize there's not much they could've done differently. The world was different then. But it doesn't have to be that way NOW.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

My daughter exhibited the first signs of being non-neurotypical at the age of 18 months. When she was 4 she was diagnosed ADHD and when she was 5 we got the added diagnosis of Bipolar.

By the time my daughter was halfway through kindergarten she had been expelled from four different daycare situations. She started kindergarten in an intervention program.

Right before she started kindergarten, we started her on medication. It took us about 2 1/2 years to achieve the correct medications and dosages, but between the medication, therapy and psychiatric care, my daughter today is light-years from the unhappy, raging little girl she was three years ago. She is mainstreamed, she is functioning at or above grade level in her studies. Socially she lags behind but we know that is to be expected with her particular issues. It has been months since her last bipolar rage, the longest we have gone without one since she was a toddler. I attribute this success to early intervention, good therapy, a tremendous amount of effort on my daughter's part to become aware of her reactions and her actions, and to medication.

My son is 5 and has been diagnosed with Bipolar and Anxiety Disorder, he starts kindergarten in a little over a week. AFter he has been in the classroom a month we will evaluate his success and begin looking into what medication and therapy are necessary, if any.

Before my daughter was diagnosed I was anti-medication. I thought that the goal was to keep my kids meds-free. My thinking has radically changed. I have come to believe that my responsibility to my child is to give them the best chance they can at being successful in life, both academically and socially. My daughter would NOT be where she is without medication. And no, medication didn't turn her into the "zombie" everyone predicted. Zombies don't read above grade level. Zombies don't ask to have their hair dyed pink. Zombies don't laugh and play and have fun splashing in the pool. :)

When medication is warranted it means the difference between a good and a poor quality of life for your child. What responsible parent wouldn't want to see their child be as happy as possible?

Mary a/k/a BarnMaven blogs at http://www.barnmaven.com about single parenting, living with ADHD, too many animals to count and dealing with ADHD/Bipolar kids.

Thank you so much for posting this, she sounds like a wonderful woman. My mom went on anti-depressents in her 50s, although she'd take various pain medications before that. She could not believe how happy she felt...and realized she'd been depressed her whole life. She provided such a great childhood, and she confessed the planning vacations, the getting us ready for school, making sure we had gourmet and healthy meals, was so stressful. She just assumed those feelings were normal, and just what moms did. She doesn't regret her life or feel bitter, she just understands now that she'd had this chemical imbalance her whole life, exceling in school but always always anxious about grades, etc.

Nicole

Nicole/wksocmom
Not Just A Working Mom ( http://www.notjustaworkingmom.blogspot.com )
Silicon Valley Moms ( http://www.svmoms.com )

My son was diagnosed at age 12 with ODC, ADHD and panic anxiety disorder. In hindsight, he had been displaying symptoms of these as far back as 7 or 8.

Once he was put on meds and doctors were able to find the best combination of drugs and doses, it was like flipping a switch. He still struggles, but it is nothing like it was before.

I use an analogy of if he was epileptic no one would question the benefits of medications. It should be no different treating thought disorders.

Tara R.
If Mom Says OK ( http://ifmomsaysok.wordpress.com )
and what happens then...  ( http://whathappensthen.wordpress.com/ )

I haven't noticed any signs of mental illness in my 4 year old. I'm hoping against hope that he doesn't go through what I have. I've had depression for as long as I remember (definitely as a kid) and his dad has OCD. It's extremely prevalent in our family but we are the first generation to seek treatment. It wasn't until I was diagnoses at age 14 with Depression that my mother and grandmother also were diagnosed. My son's father was diagnosed with OCD as a teen and his mother came forward with her struggles with mental illness.

We are teaching our son to acknowledge his emotions and express them. I think that's the best we can do. We don't hide our struggles but we do make sure he knows that he isn't the cause and that we'll feel better soon.

I would most definitely medicate my child if needed. The implications of not medicating when needed are much too dire.

Crystal Author of Ewokmama.com ( http://www.ewokmama.com )

Author of The Frugal Family ( http://www.savings.com/blog/user/Crystal.Ritchie.h... ) at Savings.com

SheBlogs.org Advisory Panel Member

I got help when I was a kid for my mental health issues, I would have avoid my mental health issues now.

As a mental health blogger who has been stuck ruminating over the past in the past, I have thought about this A LOT. Maybe I would not have needed medicine. I went to talk therapy for a while as an adult but when it got too much I got on my Wellbutrin/Prozac cocktail.

I do think that some kids are over medicated and there are some kids who should not be on medicine.

I feel for little Rita, I feel for little Rachel, I feel for all the little ones feeling anxiety or other mental health issues at an early age.

But is medication always the answer? I don't know. Have I really been helped as an adult with medication? I don't know.

http://talesofrachel.com

As a parent, I'd probably try everything else first, as I do with most things -- I try to be as noninvasive as possible -- but I think the stigma's gotta go or it's hard to even want to try medicine, which could really help.

Also, there's a spectrum. Moderate to severe mental illness can't be controlled by diet. Just can't.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

Wow! What a great point. Thanks for the open, courageous post.

Liza Barry-Kessler
Personal: LizaWasHere ( http://www.lizawashere.com/ )
Professional: Privacy Counsel LLC ( http://www.privacycounsel.net/ )

I completely agree that we're doing a better job diagnosing. After all, I remember hyper kids and anti-social kids and anxiety ridden kids like myself.

But I'm not sold that medication is the whole answer. As an adult I've been able to control my symptoms with careful diet and lifestyle choices. I'm not saying medication isn't helpful and sometime necessary, I'm just saying that if a child has ADD we should reconsider the sugar in their diet, if a child has autism then gluten should be experimented with, etc. This goes for adults, too!

http://FindYourBalanceHealth.com

But it was because I was scared. I didn't want to be not "normal."

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

i made the one psychologist my mom took me to cry, i was so vicious in my lack of understanding.

but having my son changed that. i couldn't bear--can't bear--the notion that he would grow up feeling that way and not knowing he could do something about it.

If your kid sleeps well, you think it's your good parenting. If your kid doesn't sleep well, you understand you can't control everything. I think this extends to mental health. We need, as a society, to understand what parents really can and can't control (not just influence, but control) in kids and cut each other a little slack. No one would fault you for treating childhood diabetes or stuttering or other physical ailments. I'm sorry you have felt so judged.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

My parents tried to get me help, several times. I refused it, didn't want it, mostly due to the stigma and not understanding mental illness myself.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

My son has autism, not a mental illness per se, but many children with autism suffer from anxiety and depression, and it is not uncommon to see severe depression with Down syndrome as well.
My son takes two medications daily, and we have another three at the ready, should he/we need them to keep him safe and healthy. Before Concerta (a Ritalin-like drug), my son could not access learning because he had very little control over impulses, including his stimming behaviors, of tapping, twirling, flapping etc. After Concerta he can sit in a chair in the classroom, and actually pay attention and learn. It is the same boy, only he doesn't have to worry about controlling all of those other things before he starts to learn.
He had (and still has) major sleep issues, and long horrible crying jags but all of that has become much more manageable with the help of an anti-depressant.

We also medicate for migraines, which has been life changing for our entire family.

The harshest critics of our choice to medicate has always been other moms. I see the judgment wear off when I show them scars on my hands from Jack biting me in desperation, or talk about some of the other sad tales of our pre-medicated days.

I am so sorry that you lived for so long without help. Thank you for sharing your very personal struggle.

www.jennyalice.com ( http://www.jennyalice.com )
www.CanISitWithYou.org
www.ThinkingAutismGuide.com
www.HaveAutismWillTravel.com

What Judith said she found was that stories like your husband's -- where "hyper" was medicated rather than "ADHD" -- are less common than the other way around, where diagnosed and undiagnosed mental illness in kids goes untreated.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

Community is good. It's good for people to know where to find you. Hugs to you, too.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

Maybe if the doctors had listened to my mother's pleas when I was in grade school, I would have been diagnosed before I was 30 and I wouldn't have grown up thinking I was some kind of socially inept idiot savant. Maybe I wouldn't have spent most of my teens and twenties lost in a depressive fog. Diagnosis, therapy, medication has changed--has saved--my life.

But even now, diagnosis for gifted kids is nigh on impossible to get. No, she's not badly behaved, but she can't focus long enough to do a word problem without help and zones out in class. No, he's not failing at school but he has anxiety because of focus and pent-up energy.

And yet, people accuse us of sedating our children and ourselves (with amphetamine stimulants? really?) People *in my own family* talk about how people are so weak that they have to find solutions to their problems in a pill.

I guess that's true. But in our society, that's not weakness. That's strength.

As with any conventional wisdom, ideas tend to swing from one extreme to the other. Partially from ignorance - think about how much more doctors and scientists know about our minds and bodies now than 30 years ago when we were kids. And partially from everyone jumping on the newest bandwagon.

I'm not saying there aren't valid reasons for medicating kids who need it. But I also think there are people who say, hey, my kid is super-hyper and making me nuts, and the dr. says, well, how about some Ritalin? And all the kid needs is a little more attention and creative outlets for their energy. I can say that because my husband and I would make a great case study. We were both hyper kids - he was put on Ritalin in the early 80s. I was not. Part of his problems in school resulted from him being a boy and acting out his hyperactivity more physically than I did, but I also had PHENOMENAL teachers who redirected my abundance of energy. His mom worked, so he spent a fair amount of time on his own when he was young, and got into trouble because he didn't have guidance. My parents enrolled me in every activity under the sun which kept me happy and gave me the opportunity to burn off that excessive energy.

As adults, we still both get distracted more easily than some of our friends, but we're fairly evenly matched when it comes to attention span. And he's actually better at following through than I am. All that to say, do I think he needed Ritalin as a kid? No. Does that mean all kids should be completely drug-free? Not necessarily. I think it's important not to make a blanket statement for either side. Each case is definitely unique.

Jennifer Barr is a wife and working mom of two beautiful girls under the age of three which means she's sleep deprived but constantly kept on her toes! Most of those experiences are chronicled on her blog, Midwest "Mom"ments, midwestmomments.blogspot.com.

I want to hug Little Rita, too. As the first in a line of people who *understand*.

The "overmedicated kids" topic makes me rage. RAGE. Here's a quote from a post I wrote a bit back:

"...I do know that my son's case is extreme. But running around in the quirky kids parenting circles as I do, I know a lot of families who've had to make similar choices with less affected children. None of them have come to their decision lightly, and all of them have wrestled with enormous guilt. I don't believe they deserve the additional burden of public ridicule on their quest to help their children."

http://www.squidalicious.com/2010/03/schoolhouse-r... ( http://www.squidalicious.com/2010/03/schoolhouse-r... )

Hugs to Rita presently, as well.

Shannon Des Roches Rosa
Squidalicious.com ( http://www.squidalicious.com/ ) parenting first, autism second
CanISitWithYou.org ( http://www.canisitwithyou.org/ ) real tales of schoolyard terror and triumph

Your brain is dumping some chemicals into your bloodstream that cause an unusual reaction that you perceive as worry, anxiety, and discomfort. Some people's bodies don't make enough or too much insulin. Your brain makes not enough or too much X. We're going to help your brain regulate itself better so you feel better and can enjoy life like the other kids.

The end. No value judgments, no "you are worrying," which makes it sound like I had a choice, no "you are too sensitive," which makes it sound like I had a choice. Just "your brain is doing something unusual."

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

I think I thought everyone nearly had a panic attack during every pitch of a Little League game whether I was batting or not. It was exhausting to be me. God.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.