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Just about everyone in their dating and relationship career has the misfortune of encountering a cheater. Sometimes it’s a player who you thought you were dating exclusively, sometimes it’s a spouse who is having an emotional relationship at work. Whatever form it comes in, it sucks…it’s horrible and life altering.
Interestingly, when someone can’t stay faithful, it’s about a flaw in the cheater, not with you. A lot of people who’ve been cheated on wonder what they must be lacking somehow for their partner to stray. But the reality is, it has nothing to do with you. If the most amazingly gogeous, smart and interesting women in the world can be cheated on – Ellen Nordgren, Jennifer Anniston, Halle Berry, Ivana Trump, Princess Diana, Elizabeth Hurley, Uma Thurman, Sienna Miller, etc. – I hope that shows you that it can happen to anyone. It’s not your fault, you’re just with a person who has a very flawed character.
When you suspect that someone is not as committed to you as they are saying, lots of emotions bubble to the surface – anger, paranoia, fear, sadness…you name it, you’ll feel it. You’ll start living looking over your shoulder, analyzing every sentence uttered, stalking, questioning, wondering why they take so long to run errands or are late at work. It’s a miserable, miserable way to live.
Sometimes those feelings are justified (gut feelings are rarely wrong)…but other times it can just be our own fear and insecurity. Do you know how to tell the difference? Do you have any proof?
Here are some ways that you can tell that your partner is cheating:
- Lack of Transparency With Phone Calls & Text Messages: Sometimes when your spouse/partner is cheating on you they may make their phone calls more discreet. If they would normally take their calls when you are in the room, then out of no where, your spouse might hide their calls or walk into a different room so that you are out of the hearing range. Also, if your partner used to leave their cell phone lying aroung and now they are constantly hiding their phone from you then something might be up. If your spouse used to let their text message inbox get full no all of a sudden they are deleting their messages or there are gaps in the conversation then most likely there is something they don’t want you to see.
- Changes In Appearance: If your spouse starts changing up their style out of no where and wearing different cologne or perfume, there may be someone that they are trying to impress. And, if your guy starts paying more attention to their appearance – hair, cologne, new clothes - maybe something is going on.
- Detecting Lying: Sometimes when people lie they tend to not be able to maintain eye contact or look you in the face. Of they become defensive if you ask where they have been. Its not always easy to tell when someone is lying because some people are just natural born liars.
- Spending A Lot of Time on The Computer: In today’s world, with modern technology, a person looking for an affair doesn’t even have to leave their home. The ease of internet chat rooms, online dating sites and secret email accounts has caused an alarming increase in emotional affairs.
- Big Changes in Work Schedule: All of a sudden there are more late nights, more business trips, breakfast meetings when your partner never had them before.
If you find yourself looking for excuses for your spouse’s behavior or trying to convince yourself that they would never cheat then that is a warning sign. Your intuition is frequently one of the best indicators that something is wrong. If you suspect your spouse might be cheating on you, do some investigating and then talk to him/her about what you’ve found. Do it in a way that is calm and courteous. Ask for honesty. Be prepared for lies.
Ultimately, trust your gut instinct but having hard, cold proof also helps to put the issue to bed once and for all. If you don’t find any proof, then you may need to consider that you’re chasing shadows that aren’t, in fact, actually there.
Have you ever detected a cheater? What gave it away? Was your gut ultimately correct?
Read more: How to Tell If Your Spouse Is Cheating On You | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_4835632_tell-spouse-cheating.html#ixzz1kzqZUcxW Spending a large amount of time on the computer
