- Share This Post
- Pin It
- 2
-
Sparkle (0)
How do I see myself? I'm awesome... well, except for the fact that I can be a total idiot at times (like when I poured orange juice in my plants because I forgot I'd made the juice in the watering cannister last week). And yes I am obnoxious, often when I am in a good mood (ironic). And I guess I am moody when I don't get enough sleep or occasionally during certain times of the month... and when I don't eat... or I have to stand in line at the coffee shop for 20 minutes not because it's busy but because the person in front of me can't make up their mind between the half caf no fat extra hot latte and the iced moccacino with extra chocolate, extra whipped cream and extra sprinkles. Okay, maybe I'm not that awesome... and least not in every aspect. But it doesn't mean I don't have great qualities that other people would appreciate. I wonder if people actually see that in me. I wonder if people actually do perceive me the way I perceive myself? ... how the hell is anyone supposed to know.
I recently read an article in Psychology Today (yes I'm a total geek and read that kind of stuff, right next to my subscription of People Magazine, and Hello!) about how people are misunderstood and about how the way we are perceived by others may be completely different than how we perceive ourselves. Of course the challenge to knowing this is that we have no idea how we are perceived unless someone is bold enough to say it to our face. Easy enough to do when it's something kind ("you are just so talented"). Not so easy to do when someone is as obnoxious as fuck and you regularly imagine punching them in the face ("what an obnoxious ass, I wonder if his mother dropped him as a kid").
Personally, I don't have a clue how the world sees me, at least not on a regular basis. I know there are people that idolize me (they are clearly delusional) and others that cannot stand my existence (well, they'll have to learn to live with it). But should we care even? Well... yes, in some ways we should. How the world sees us greatly drives the different things we get in life. Like the promotion at work, the invitations to social get togethers, and of course the free drinks at the bar. Now I am not even remotely a proponent of worrying about how I am perceived. But that of course comes with a caveat. If people dislike me based on ME, then who the hell cares. I have accepted that not everyone is going to love me. That is their life and their decision (and quite frankly their loss), but if someone dislikes me because they think I am something I'm not well, now I have two look at one of two reasons for this. 1) They are an ignorant fool who has no clue how to meet and socialize and have any clue of anyone's existence beyond themselves (uh hem... Chris) in which case, once again, who cares. Or reason 2) I have given off completely inconsistent signals as to my own persona and although I am intelligent, outgoing, and love people I have managed to convince someone that I'm an idiotic bitch that only loves myself. This... is a problem.
So the question remains that a person (in this case me) must ask themselves, Am I misunderstood? (ie. does everyone think I'm a raving lunatic bitch that is arrogant and stuck up? or do they think I am an independent, passionate young woman who has a healthy level of self confidence and self appreciation?).
I would probably say there is a solid compilation of many opinions on me. Some come from self absorbed asses that are likely intimidated by my self assurance and success (because the fact that I've worked my ass off to achieve it doesn't matter to them). Some are probably poor souls who have had the misfortune of meeting me in a "sleep deprived, PMSing, starved, caffeine deprived, just got off the phone with customer service dude (who's in India of course) who doesn't speak english and keeps asking me if I'd like to join their long distance plan" state and I probably snapped all over their cheerful ass when they greeted me and asked me how I was doing. Oops, my bad. Some people
