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We are raised in a society where we are expected to grow up, get an education, find a well paying job, get married and have children. But suppose you don’t have a need to create a miniature you or you lack the desire to nurture another being from infancy to adult-hood (an age range that seems to vary from one individual to another). Are you being selfish or do you simply know yourself very well?
Not long ago I heard a woman jokingly tell a couple that they were being selfish for electing not to have children. Personally I have never thought having children was an altruistic act.
Most people have kids because they want them. Often times giving no thought to the challenges that may lie ahead in providing housing, clothing, food, an education, medical expenses, and other expenses which occur through attending various events and traveling. Rarely does one ask himself the difficult question, “Is my mate/spouse good mother/father material?"
In other words there is a large cross section of people having children without considering the quality of life the child may have. All they really care about is what they want.
Some people not only want kids but also stipulate they have to come from their own loins. They’re willing to spend several thousands of dollars at fertility clinics to accomplish this. Adoption (probably the most unselfish act) is not an option for these people. It would be difficult to call these people altruistic.
Reality Check
The cost of raising a child varies depending on which reports you read $291k up to $300k. http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUSTRE57367220090804
Aside from the financial commitment there is always the unforeseen such as having a child that has special needs. No one ever expects their child will have downs, require several surgeries to correct a physical problem/birth defect, unusual allergies, or mentally unable to ever become an independent functioning adult.
Believe it or not, not every one is going to produce a child that is an “asset” for future mankind. Every year a fresh new crop of future delinquents, drug addicts, teen parents, and criminals are born. In some instances parents end up raising their grandchildren during their planned “golden years.”
If we are to believe what we are told by various “green initiative” alliances not having children may be the most self-less thing a person can do to make the world a better place. According to a recent article which reported Americans throw away 18 Billion disposable diapers a year along with various other forms of pollution all contributing to killing mother earth. http://www.eco-action.net/pollution.html
Whether a person chooses to have children or not their decision requires no defense or explanation. With 11 forms of birth control including the morning after pill along with the passage of Roe V Wade, bringing a child into the world is no accident. It’s a woman’s choice. A man cannot force a woman to bear children nor can he force her to terminate a pregnancy. Until there is a birth control pill for men their only options are abstinence, condoms with prayer, or having a vasectomy. Barring those options the final decision as to whether a man becomes a father rests with the woman.
To have a child or not?
There are millions of people that will tell you there is no greater joy in the world than being a parent. They will tell you that the most rewarding job in the world is to be a parent. Having grandchildren to share your wisdom while making an historical contribution to extending the family tree gives one a sense that in one form or another they will be here for eternity.
People without children will tell you how wonderful it is to be able to pick up and head out of town or attend an adult event at a moment’s notice without having to worry about finding a sitter. The money they would use to raise kids is being spent on lavish vacations, a bigger home, dinning in upscale restaurants, buying expensive clothes and spoiling one another throughout the year. There are no Parent/Teacher conferences to attend, no worrying about your child having a car accident or some other potential mishap that always seems to befall teenagers. No fear of your child getting in with “the wrong crowd”.
By contrast those parents that love the sound of the pitter patter of little feet when they come home from work there are those
