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Sparkle (1)
A while back a signed up for this free class at http://willowing.ning.com called Art, Heart, & Healing. And yes, you did hear me correctly, this class is free and you can sign up any time. All you have to do is join Willowing and then you can sign up. The classes are recorded and you just have to watch them and work in your journal. I really like that I can do them when I can and not have to worry about missing a session because I don’t feel well. There is a link for posting your work and if sweet Tam (who just had a new baby) has the time she gives great feedback! She actually uses a graphics program to digitally adjust your work to show you what she thinks would help…. like if the eyes are too close together or the nose too long. I myself, am great at making mile long snouts!
Anyway, it sounded rather easy and I thought it might help me and even be fun. I love painting and one of the things I really want to work on this year is branching out with my art. I tend to draw just what I see. I’m always trying to paint a photograph and get caught up in details. It never even occurred to me until this past year that I could interprete the picture however I wanted. I could leave out things or put things in different places! I want to be more imaginative and creative in my art. I love to look at other art and see what other artists do differently and try to learn from that.
I started taking watercolor lessons last fall from a local man by the name of Tom Nixon and I have really learned a lot. Only problem is the cold keeps me grounded to my house. I deal with a lot of pain from Fibromyalgia and even though I try not to let it slow me down the truth is it does. The cold during winter causes the pain to intensify and then I can’t concentrate on art…. or anything. Even if I bundle up and my car is in my warm garage… once I get out of my car I’m done. I haven’t been able to get out for an art lesson or for anything for a long time and my spirits are way, WAY down. So I thought this would be the perfect way for me to learn some things about art, especially more imaginativethings, and to help myself heal on the inside at the same time.
I started to watch the first video and got stuck. I followed her instructions and got my journal and wrote out all of my negative thoughts. I was so surprised because they came pouring out like a flood and I started to cry. I realized I’ve been holding in a lot of painful feelings…. trying to not let them show because I don’t want to burden others with them. I especially try to keep my husband from worrying because he already worries enough about work and making enough money to pay the bills. So, I suddenly realized that I have been carrying around a bunch of emotional junk and that is really stressful.
The next step in the program is to forgive yourself and then to write some positive things on another piece of paper. I’m not very good at explaining this part. It really helps to listen to Tam explain it. After you have your piece of paper of positive things the negative words get covered up with layers of paint for the background of your artwork.
I never got past the negative words….. it is still very disheartening to look at it. I did realize something though…. ALL of these things on my list are caused by the fibromyalgia and other health problems that go along with it. Maybe I felt fat before but now I’ve gained much more weight and exercising hurts. Even when I do exercise it isn’t enough to lose weight. I just do what I can and eat healthy. I also feel helpless sometimes. It is really hard to have to rely on others so much. I have always been very independent and suddenly I always need to ask for help. It really is hard to ask my son to open my medication for me because my hands are hurting too bad. I am only 40. That is something I
