The Art of the Introduction

We talk a great deal about how important first impressions are in business, but suggestions are almost universally spelled out for our own self-improvement, leaving out how we affect the first impressions that others make through our introductions. A bad introduction can cripple a conversation, and sour relationships, whereas a good one can make a conversation not only informative, but useful, as it can lead you and people around you to a world of opportunities down the line.

I attended a conference with a friend recently. Overwhelmed by seeing so many colleagues and friends, she became engaged in conversation with everyone we met, often forgetting to introduce me. On the occasions that she did introduce me, she simply told the people with whom she was speaking that I was a friend. My friend is not a terrible person – very often, when we are among a large group, it can be easy to get caught up in conversation and not realize we’re insulating people and essentially disabling them from connecting with one another.

With BlogHer ’11 right around the corner, a list of pointers for introductions is more necessary than ever. Below are a few helpful tips from the monarch of social butterflies, my mother:

Naming names

If you’re in conversation with a person or group of people and someone you know comes up to you, find a comfortable way to conclude the conversation and direct your attention to the new-comer before introducing the group to him or her.

While titles are optional, using their first and last name is preferable in a larger setting, as there may be a lot of people with the same first name present. At a conference where most of us know one another through our blogs and usernames and not always our real names, it is perfectly acceptable to use these instead. For example, if you don’t know that the Bloggess’ name is Jenny Lawson, you may introduce her as “the Bloggess, a blogger, humor columnist and co-author of the Houston Chronicle’s ‘Good Mom/Bad Mom’ column.”

By including a little description with the name, you enable further conversation and provide a general idea of Jenny’s work for those who may not be familiar with it.

Tailor the introduction to the person or group

As mentioned above, including some information about a person when introducing them is optimal for conversation. If you know the person very well, consider your audience before making an introduction. For example, I was at a tech conference when I happened to meet a friend of mine who is very involved in the venture capitalist space. She pulled me into the group and introduced me to the wholly male audience as, “AV Flox, the greatest sex columnist I’ve ever read, never shy to discuss the wildest things!” While I love the description, the introduction completely disabled me from having any discussion about technology with that illustrious group of people. Oh, that she’d introduced me as a sometimes tech writer for the LA Weekly!

The more you give about the person during an introduction, the higher the quality of conversation that you can generate with an introduction. For example, introducing someone as a science writer is fine, but think of the conversation you could create if you put in the extra effort and introduced the person as a science writer for Scientific American that specializes on the topic of animal cognition!

Keep it brief! The most powerful introductions are the short ones that are tailored to offer just the right information about a person.

A little bit of order

Out of respect, introductions have conventionally followed an order: the younger or less important person is introduced to the older or more important person. It is also customary to introduce men to women. Today, these are not hard and fast rules – a good thing, since they can make introductions particularly tricky to execute in a group setting. Even so, it is always a good idea to keep it in mind when you wish to acknowledge someone of considerable status, such as a diplomat, or someone considerably older.

When introducing a single person to a group, name the group members first. This helps bring their attention the newcomer, in the event they have not yet noticed that introductions are being made.

Dates

Introduce the person who accompanied you to the event by their full name, and his or her relationship to you. Keep in mind that the description of your relationship may cause some awkwardness! I once had a girlfriend present her