Ask4Recovery - How can I be forgiving of something traumatic that happened to me?
By LaurenStahl on August 16, 2013
Hello friends! Today’s ‘Ask’…
How can I be forgiving of something traumatic that happened to me?
This is very hard. I understand. A lot of these traumatic events happened when we were young and naïve. When we were taken advantage of and had no choice in the matter.
The key word here though is ‘forgiving.’ With this comes a whole new meaning to our lives and a new sense of freedom. Growing up, I did not get what I wanted from members of my family emotionally. Although it was not a massive traumatic event, it still affected me in many ways. I spent years holding onto anger and resentment because of this, which just prolonged the dysfunction in the relationship and added fuel to my addictions. Now that I am in recovery, I have had the opportunity to work on this relationship. To let go of the past and all that I felt I did not get from our relationship. A relationship is a two-sided street and I was able to take ownership and responsibility for my part. Now, we are building a new relationship out of love and I could not be happier.
Once I was able to forgive, a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders. A new sense of respect and acceptance was developed not only for the other person, but for myself as well. Holding onto that anger and resentment kept me disconnected from Lauren. Kept me resisting and not accepting and the qualities that keep me connected, like love and compassion were lost sight of.
I know this process takes time, but I am here to tell you it is possible and the act of forgiveness gives life a whole new meaning. With that, we can forgive ourselves and move forward to create the life we want. I am the only person that can get in the way of accomplishing my dreams and goals. That takes a lot of pressure off of me. I spent so long trying to control and manipulate. I no longer need to that as I have found my true essence.
How have you moved past from trauma? Let us know and join the Ask4Recovery movement with me!
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