<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<feed xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom">
  <title>BlogHer</title>
  <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com"/>
  <link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogher.com/atom/feed"/>
  <id>http://www.blogher.com/atom/feed</id>
  <updated>2009-07-02T22:29:24-05:00</updated>
  <entry>
    <title>July is the Perfect Time to Start Crafting for Christmas</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/july-perfect-time-start-crafting-christmas" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/july-perfect-time-start-crafting-christmas</id>
    <published>2009-07-04T17:42:43-05:00</published>
    <updated>2009-07-04T17:42:43-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>debra roby</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Crafts" />
    <category term="christmas" />
    <category term="crafts" />
    <category term="holidays" />
    <category term="Crafts" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>When your calendar turned the page to July, I can guess that your first thought was not: <i>Less than 6 months until Christmas!  I'd better seriously starting planning and creating my holiday crafts! </i>But it should have been. There are 24 weekends until Christmas.&nbsp; That's 24 Saturdays and Sunday -when long periods of time can be devoted to creating holiday decorations and gifts.&nbsp; How can you use that time efficiently?</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>When your calendar turned the page to July, I can guess that your first thought was not: <i>Less than 6 months until Christmas!  I'd better seriously starting planning and creating my holiday crafts! </i>But it should have been. There are 24 weekends until Christmas.&nbsp; That's 24 Saturdays and Sunday -when long periods of time can be devoted to creating holiday decorations and gifts.&nbsp; How can you use that time efficiently?</p>
<p>First.&nbsp; DO NOT PANIC.&nbsp; Spend the next week or two doing all the planning that needs to be done.&nbsp; Look up the patterns you tucked away last year planning to make for gifts or decorations this year.&nbsp; Decide if you really like the projects, and -if not- search items that might replace them.&nbsp; </p>
<p>Write down a list of projects you plan to do -the more compulsive might make a spreadsheet.&nbsp; For each project list the recipient. Search through your stash to find any supplies you already own.&nbsp; For those items that need to be purchased -fabrics, yarns, papers, beads, notions - start a shopping list making sure to add the name of the project next to each item.<br />
If a gift needs size measurements, make sure to get them NOW. While you do not need to purchase all your supplies right now, having a complete list of what you need makes getting it later easier.&nbsp; </p>
<p>Order the projects into two groups: Quick Items and Time Consuming Items.&nbsp; Then order the Time Consuming items from the longest time to the shortest. </p>
<p>I would plan on starting the longest time item as soon as possible.&nbsp; It might a quilt that needs to be pieced, then sent out for quilting before you can bind it.&nbsp; It might be a lacy shawl that will take quiet time and attention to complete.&nbsp; Whatever the item, starting that one thing gets you in the groove.&nbsp; And increases the chances that it will be completed on time.</p>
<p>Between now and Labor day, set a time frame and plan for working on your gifts.&nbsp; Be realistic.&nbsp; Know that summertime is often a slow-sales time; watch for sales at your favorite local shops and take advantage of the timing. (that's why you want the plan and shopping list done soon).&nbsp; </p>
<p>As the days become shorter, you should be well on your way to tackling your holiday crafty plans.&nbsp; Imagine being able to relax and enjoy the holiday parties and gatherings this year because you're not stressing over gifts incomplete.&nbsp; </p>
<p>I'm fortunate, I think, that I only have a couple gifts to work on.&nbsp; One pair of knit socks, already on the needles, and a second possible pair to work on after these.&nbsp; A lacy shawl to crochet.&nbsp; A quilt -slept with for the past 12 years- that needs to be repaired.&nbsp; </p>
<p>Are you planning to make a number of your holiday gifts and decorations this year?&nbsp; Have you already started?</p>
<p>Other bloggers obsessing already about Christmas:</p>
<p><a target="_blank" href="http://whipup.net/2009/06/06/book-the-complete-book-of-retro-crafts/">Whip-up</a> reviews the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1579908691?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=whipup-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=1579908691">The Complete Book of Retro Crafts: Collecting, Displaying &amp; Making Crafts of the Past</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=whipup-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=1579908691" alt="" width="1" border="0" height="1" /> by Suzie Millions. (Lark Books, 2008):</p>
<blockquote><p>One of the most kitschy holidays of the year has got to be Christmas – with all those reindeer, elves and trees – glitter and sparkles everywhere – so a whole chapter devoted to Christmas crafts was a must. I love the miniature Christmas village made from last years Christmas cards and a bit of tinsel too. Shell mosaic and other ‘encrustations’ get their own chapter – as does glass crafts – with bottle scenes getting a few projects – that is making a mini diorama and putting it in a bottle or jar – pretty cute actually.
</p></blockquote>
<p>The Mom Trap posted <a target="_blank" href="http://www.themomtrap.com/2009/04/50-easy-craft-fair-projects-you-can.html">50 Easy Craft Fair Projects You Can Start This Weekend.</a>&nbsp; Yes.&nbsp; School craft fairs are another stress-inducing craft pressure.&nbsp; Kim links to a number of simple fast items that you can plan now and quickly crank out for that obligatory 3rd grade craft booth.&nbsp; </p>
<p>Chloe Findlay-Harder wrote last year about <a target="_blank" href="http://www.blisstree.com/articles/thrifty-christmas-crafting-114/">Thrifty Christmas Crafting.</a></p>
<blockquote><p>Four years of working in a fabric store and a lifetime of being a fabric-aholic has left me with a pretty extensive stash.&nbsp; So far, I haven’t needed to buy any extra fabric to make sewn gifts for anyone on my Christmas gifts list.&nbsp; That’s including several garments, bags and smaller projects!</p>
<p>It’s worthwhile to take a look at your stash and see what can be sewn and shared with your friends and family.&nbsp; And don’t forget - if you’ve been holding onto that “perfect” piece of fabric for five years without sewing it, maybe it’s time to actually use it?</p>
</blockquote>
<p><i>Debra Roby blogs her creative life at <a href="http://astitchintime.blogspot.com/">A Stitch in Time</a> and her journey to fitness at <a href="http://weightfordeb.wordpress.com/">Weight for Deb</a>.</i></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Independence Day Reading</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/independence-day-reading" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/independence-day-reading</id>
    <published>2009-07-04T10:35:42-05:00</published>
    <updated>2009-07-04T10:35:42-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>sassymonkey</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Entertainment &amp; Culture" />
    <category term="Books" />
    <category term="United States" />
    <category term="World" />
    <category term="founding fathers" />
    <category term="Fourth of July" />
    <category term="Independence Day" />
    <category term="War of the Worlds" />
    <category term="Books" />
    <category term="Fiction" />
    <category term="Non-Fiction" />
    <category term="World" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>My knowledge of American history is lacking. To an extent, it's to be expected - after all, I am Canadian. Every year on the Fourth of July I'm reminded of this. I go and seek out books about American history and add that to that list of books to read to read some day in the future. (That list never seems to get shorter.) I thought that this year I'd share my findings on what to read on Independence Day.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>My knowledge of American history is lacking. To an extent, it's to be expected - after all, I am Canadian. Every year on the Fourth of July I'm reminded of this. I go and seek out books about American history and add that to that list of books to read to read some day in the future. (That list never seems to get shorter.) I thought that this year I'd share my findings on what to read on Independence Day.</p>
<p>Let's start with books. I found this huge list of <a href="http://www.myshelf.com/holiday/pages/independence.htm">Independence day reads on Myshelf.com</a>. It is a list that truly does have something for everyone - mysteries, romance, non-fiction, young adult literature and even a cookbook.</p>
<p>I found fourth of July children's books recommendations from <a href="http://www.parentsconnect.com/lists/independence-day-books.jhtml">Parents Connect</a> and <a href="http://www.familiesonlinemagazine.com/July-4-books.html">Families Online Magazine</a>.</p>
<p>The Boston Book Festival recommends <a href="http://www.bostonbookfest.org/index.php/bookfest/blog/9_great_books_to_start_reading_this_independence_day_weekend/">nine books to start reading this Independence Day weekend</a>. </p>
<p>About.com's Classic Literature maven, Esther Lombardi, offers up two reading lists for this weekend, <a href="http://classiclit.about.com/od/thepresidents/tp/aatp_founding.htm">The Top Ten Founding Fathers' Literature list</a> and the <a href="http://classiclit.about.com/od/july4th/tp/aatp_freedom.htm">Top Ten Books about Freedom and Liberty</a>.</p>
<p>The <a href="http://blogs.davenportlibrary.com/reference/2009/07/red-white-blue/">Davenport Library Info Cafe</a> has suggestions for reading this fourth of July, including James Patterson's <i>4th of July</i>, which <a href="http://www.whimpulsive.net/2009/04/4th-of-july-by-james-patterson-and.html">SuziQOregon</a> calls "brain candy."</p>
<p>And perhaps because of the big movie releases about the same topic, I cannot think of Independence Day without thinking of H.G. Wells' <i>War Of The Worlds</i>. <a href="http://thebookworm07.blogspot.com/2009/02/war-of-worlds.html">Nadia, aka Book Worm</a> read it earlier this year.</p>
<blockquote><p>
The way Wells writes the story, it's almost like you are reading non-fiction. I liked his style of writing, the storyline was fun and i'm glad I read this one.
</p></blockquote>
<p>If we want to turn to poetry, Lisa is a Canadian but points everyone to Shel Silverstein for <a href="http://alotalot.wordpress.com/2008/07/04/poetry-friday-shel-silverstein/">Independence Day</a>. Don't you just love Shel Silverstein?</p>
<p><a href="http://wildrosereader.blogspot.com/2008/07/heres-anonymous-poem-i-selected.html">Elaine, aka Wild Rose Reader</a> chose the poem "Independence Day Parade" for Poetry Friday, while Felicity posted the poem <a>"I hear America singing."</a></p>
<p>Lesa posted <a href="http://lesasbookcritiques.blogspot.com/2007/07/declaraton-of-independence.html">The Declaration of Independence</a> on her blog. What is more appropriate than that, except maybe listening to it? She posted a link to NPR's reading of it on her blog as well.</p>
<blockquote><p>
One of my favorite things to do on the 4th of July is to listen to the reading of the Declaration of Independence on NPR Radio. I just missed it this morning, but fortunately, they've published it on the website, and you can actually listen to their commentators read it. It's the best way to experience it, listening to those beautiful words read by those unique voices.
</p></blockquote>
<p>Happy Fourth of July! I hope you all have a fantastic Independence Day weekend!</p>
<p><i>Contributing Editor Sassymonkey also blogs at <a href="http://sassymonkey.ca">Sassymonkey</a> and <a href="http://sassymonkeyreads.ca">Sassymonkey Reads</a>. </i></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Women in Tech: Technically Women</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/women-tech-technically-women" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/women-tech-technically-women</id>
    <published>2009-07-04T09:39:35-05:00</published>
    <updated>2009-07-04T09:39:35-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Virginia DeBolt</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Blogging &amp; Social Media" />
    <category term="Internet" />
    <category term="Media &amp; Journalism" />
    <category term="Networking" />
    <category term="Tech" />
    <category term="Technology &amp; Web" />
    <category term="Blogging &amp; Social Media" />
    <category term="Internet" />
    <category term="Media &amp; Journalism" />
    <category term="Networking" />
    <category term="Podcasting" />
    <category term="Social Networking" />
    <category term="Tech" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Welcome <a href="http://technicallywomen.com/">Technically Women</a> into the world of women in tech. Technically Women is a fairly new site, organized by an international group of business women who intend to examine the way technology is changing the world of business.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Welcome <a href="http://technicallywomen.com/">Technically Women</a> into the world of women in tech. Technically Women is a fairly new site, organized by an international group of business women who intend to examine the way technology is changing the world of business. </p>
<p>I want to give you a mini-profile of the business women involved in the site. Ten women create the core of Technically Women. When I looked at their <a href="http://technicallywomen.com/about/">About page</a>, the first thing I noticed was that each woman gave her Twitter info <em>first</em> in her profile. Not a job title, not a URL to her business site: a Twitter link. I find that a fascinating clue to what this powerhouse group of women will do to market themselves and their website.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.vdebolt.com/blogher/technicallywomen.jpg" alt="the Technically Women home page" /></p>
<p>Let's take a quick look at each of the women who make up Technically Women. </p>
<p>First is Cathy Brooks  (<a href="http://www.twitter.com/cathybrooks">@CathyBrooks</a>). Cathy runs a site called <a href="http://www.otherthanthat.com/">Other Than That</a>. She's a journalist who writes in places like <a href="http://www.bitchbuzz.com/">Bitch Buzz</a> and <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/">The Huffington Post</a>. She's worked with <a href="http://www.guidewiregroup.com/site/home.html">Guidewire Group</a> and helped develop the <a href="http://www.lewebparis.com/">LeWeb3 Conference</a>.</p>
<p>Laura Fitton (<a href="http://www.twitter.com/pistachio">@Pistachio</a>) is a Twitter maven who I've written about before and who may already be familiar to BlogHer readers. Her business site is <a href="http://www.pistachioconsulting.com/">Pistachio Consulting</a>. She's been writing a book called <cite>Twitter for Dummies</cite>, which looks like it might be ready just about the time BlogHer09 convenes in Chicago. Laura will be <a href="http://www.blogher.com/blogher_conference/conf/9/speakers/1">speaking at BlogHer09</a> on a panel called <a href="http://www.blogher.com/blogher_conference/conf/9/agenda/1#s230">Advanced Social Media, Syndication and Stats</a>.</p>
<p>Maggie Fox (<a href="http://www.twitter.com/maggiefox">@MaggieFox</a>) is an expert in big business, with experience in working with corporate-sized clients. Her own business, <a href="http://www.socialmediagroup.com/">Social Media Group</a> is a large company. She's the CEO and founder. Her past positions include working for New Sun Creative and in broadcasting.</p>
<p>Rachel Happe (<a href="http://www.twitter.com/rhappe">@rhappe</a>) moves in the world of enterprise social networking and enterprise software applications. She co-founded a business called <a href="http://www.community-roundtable.com/">The Community Roundtable</a> and writes at <a href="http://www.thesocialorganization.com/">The Social Organization</a>. The Social Organization has a backlog of great posts that prompted me to subscribe to the feed for more of what Rachel has to say. </p>
<p>Jennifer Leggio (<a href="http://www.twitter.com/mediaphyter">@mediaphyter</a>) writes for <a href="http://blogs.zdnet.com/feeds/">ZDNet's Social Business Blog</a> and is a co-host of <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/quickndirty">Quick-n-Dirty</a> on Blog Talk Radio. Her blog is <a href="http://mediaphyter.wordpress.com/">Media Phyter</a>. I subscribed to this blog, too. I cannot resist a technology blogger, especially one who will tattoo her blog name on the back of her neck.</p>
<p>Adele McAlear (<a href="http://www.twitter.com/adelemcalear">@AdeleMcAlear</a>) runs <a href="http://www.mcalearmarketing.com/">McAlear Marketing</a> and a blog called <a href="http://www.adelemcalear.com/">Marketing Monster</a>. Adele was a co-founder of <a href="http://www.digitaleve.org/">Digital Eve</a> way back in 2000. Digital Eve was a early site bring women together around the topic of technology. It offers support and education and has real-world chapters in locations around the world.</p>
<p>Francine McKenna (<a href="http://www.twitter.com/retheauditors">@retheauditors</a>) comes from <a href="http://retheauditors.com/">re: The Auditors</a> about the accounting industry. Francine is a blogger at <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/francine-mckenna">The Huffington Post</a>. She's writing a book about the Big 4 audit firms which is tentatively titled <cite>The Button-Down Mafia - How the Big 4 Audit Firms Run A Racket on Investors</cite>. Francine is the President of <a href="http://www.mckennapartners.com/">McKenna Partners LLC</a>.</p>
<p>Anne Kathrine Petterøe (<a href="http://www.twitter.com/yojibee">@yojibee</a>) comes from a background in web design. Her blog is <a href="http://www.yojibee.com/">Yojibee</a>, which she tells us is pronounced yo-j-ee-bee. Anne's interests include her work for <a href="http://www.sap.com/index.epx">SAP</a> and the <a href="http://www.adobe.com/enterprise/partners/adobe_sap_tour.html">Adobe SAP Alliance</a>.</p>
<p>Marilyn Pratt (<a href="http://www.twitter.com/marilynpratt">@MarilynPratt</a>) also worked for SAP in the <a href="http://www.sdn.sap.com/irj/sdn">SAP Developer Network</a>. Her background is in theater and acting; she once lived in a kibbutz. She blogs at <a href="http://grannimari.blogspot.com/">A time to mourn a time to rejoice....</a> and <a href="http://greenshow.me/">Greenshow.me</a>.</p>
<p>This brings us near the end of the alphabet and to the final name as a founder of Technically Women. </p>
<p>Susan Scrupski (<a href="http://www.twitter.com/ITSinsider">@ITSinsider</a>) is founder of <a href="http://socopartners.com/">SoCo Partners</a>, a firm that helps companies with socio-collaborative engagement or adopting social media strategies for business. Susan blogs at <a href="http://itsinsider.com/">IT Insider</a>, where she coins words like "collaborosphere" to explain what her work and interests are all about.</p>
<p>Technically Women is three months old. To date, there are 9 posts on the site. In spite of this modest beginnning, I have high hopes that the women involved will provide interested readers like myself a steady stream of leadership and information. Here's to you, Technically Women, may you grow and prosper.</p>
<p>--<br />
Virginia DeBolt<br />
<a href="http://www.blogher.com/blog/virginia-debolt">BlogHer Technology Contributing Editor</a><br />
<a href="http://www.webteacher.ws/">Web Teacher</a><br />
<a href="http://first50.wordpress.com/">First 50 Words</a></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Jury Overruled! MySpace Mom Acquitted of All Charges</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/jury-overruled-myspace-mom-acquitted-all-charges" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/jury-overruled-myspace-mom-acquitted-all-charges</id>
    <published>2009-07-04T05:35:37-05:00</published>
    <updated>2009-07-04T05:35:37-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>avflox</name>
    </author>
    <category term="News &amp; Politics" />
    <category term="child abuse" />
    <category term="cyber bullying" />
    <category term="cyber-bullying" />
    <category term="cyberbullying" />
    <category term="Megan Meiers" />
    <category term="United States v. Lori Drew" />
    <category term="Breaking News" />
    <category term="Death" />
    <category term="Depression" />
    <category term="Internet" />
    <category term="Parenting" />
    <category term="Law" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>My MySpace profile lists my age as 90. I did this at some point in 2005 to avoid the amount of messages I was receiving from men using the site to find prospective dates. This is my choice, and one that worked very well for me, even if I was, in fact, in direct violation of MySpace's terms of service, which state that all users must submit “truthful and accurate” information about themselves.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>My MySpace profile lists my age as 90. I did this at some point in 2005 to avoid the amount of messages I was receiving from men using the site to find prospective dates. This is my choice, and one that worked very well for me, even if I was, in fact, in direct violation of MySpace's terms of service, which state that all users must submit “truthful and accurate” information about themselves.</p>
<p>Imagine a world where a site's terms of service were enforceable by law. A world where my convenient lie about my age amounted to “unauthorized access” of MySpace servers under the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act—which was created in 1986 to deal with computer hackers. Under this act, the infraction could make me a felon.</p>
<p>It almost happened.</p>
<p>The case that would have set the precedent was that of <I>United States v. Lori Drew</i>, otherwise known as the case of the MySpace Mom.</p>
<p><b>REFRESHER</b></p>
<p>Lori Drew, a Missouri mother to a teenaged daughter, was concerned about alleged rumors being spread by Megan Meiers, a friend with whom her daughter had had a falling out. She, her daughter and an employee of hers, Ashley Grills, created a MySpace account for a fictitious boy named “Josh Evans” and used it to befriend Meiers, allegedly for the purpose of getting information from her regarding Drew's daughter. The messages, which began as friendly, quickly became cruel to Meiers, eventually leading the girl, who had been diagnosed with depression, to commit suicide.</p>
<p>The county prosecutor, Jack Banas, who reviewed the case, declined to press charges. According to Banas, there was no evidence that Drew had the criminal intent to harass or stalk Megan; more importantly, her behavior didn't violate any Missouri law. The same conclusion was reached by the local federal prosecutor. The result from the public and media was outrage, eventually leading  California-based attorney Thomas O'Brien to step in, claiming that California had jurisdiction in the case on the grounds that  MySpace's servers were located in Beverly Hills.</p>
<p>Early last year, a federal grand jury indicted Lori Drew on one count of conspiracy and three counts of accessing protected computers without authorization under the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. The charge of “accessing protected computers” was related to Drew's breach of MySpace terms by creating a fictitious profile. In November, Drew was convicted of three counts of accessing protected computers, but the jury acquitted her on three felony charges and a count of conspiracy.</p>
<p>The case had the blogosphere holding their breath until Thursday, when US District Judge George Wu, who had delayed Drew's sentencing in May of this year to review the testimony of prosecution witnesses, overruled the jury and directed acquittal of all charges.</p>
<p><b>UR DOIN IT RONG</b></p>
<p>There is no question that what Drew did is shameful—even criminal. Cyberbullying is a very real, very malevolent form of abuse. The problem here is that there are no real laws in place to prosecute people who engage in this kind of harassment online.</p>
<p>The case against Drew did not fail because she is not guilty—it failed because it relied so heavily on the notion that violating MySpace’s terms of service was tantamount to computer hacking and thus a breach of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act (which charges anyone who “intentionally accesses a computer without authorization or exceeds authorized access, and thereby obtains... information from any protected computer if the conduct involved an interstate or foreign communication”).</p>
<p>This precedent, while helpful in punishing Lori Drew for her reprehensible behavior, spells disaster for everyone else using sites without adhering to their respective terms of service.</p>
<p>“It basically leaves it up to a website owner to determine what is a crime,” said Wu. “And therefore it criminalizes what would be a breach of contract.”</p>
<p>Wu's take echoes what many critics of the case have been saying for months, among them the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF), Center for Democracy and Technology, and the Heritage Foundation.</p>
<p>In an amicus brief filed by the EFF in conjunction with the Center for Democracy and Technology, Public Citizen and 14 law professors, the implications to the free speech of US citizens using the web was highlighted.</p>
<p>The brief had other examples of criminal misconduct under this definition: a married person using the services of Match.com could be prosecuted by using the site for breach of their terms, which state that all users must be single or separated to use the site; a minor under the age of 18 using Google could also be prosecuted for violating the search engine's terms of service; and anyone who prefers to keep their identity anonymous to exercise their First Amendment right of free speech while using sites that require they submit “truthful and accurate” information about their persons to do so, as well.</p>
<p>Andrew Grossman, senior legal policy Analyst in the Center for Legal and Judicial Studies at the Heritage Foundation, <a href="http://www.heritage.org/Research/LegalIssues/lm32.cfm">authored a memorandum</a> calling it “overcriminalization,” adding that per MySpace's terms of service, which also state that content which “provides any telephone numbers, street addresses, last names, URLs or email addresses” is also a violation. That means that sending your friend a message with your phone number or even sharing a link to this article—under the precedent set by this case—would have been a breach of agreement and a criminal offense under the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act.</p>
<p>Grossman elaborates on the complexity of emotions surrounding the issue:</p>
<blockquote><p>It is a legal cliché that “Hard cases make bad law”—that is, that courts are too often tempted by emotional facts and sympathetic parties to render decisions with­out thinking about the law they are making and its effect on future cases. The same could be said of the recent development of the criminal law: Legislators, prosecutors, and the public seem to believe that every bad act done is a legal wrong, punishable just as traditional crimes like murder and theft and rape are punished.</p>
<p>But too often they overlook the far greater differ­ences between traditional crimes and these new offenses. Pushing the criminal law beyond its histori­cal bounds carries consequences that may not be apparent when the public mood is hot and vengeful, and only later is the result apparent: bad law. This pat­tern is repeated nearly every time that Congress passes a narrow law to target some unlikely, newsworthy wrong or slight deviation from productive behavior.</p>
<p>The case of housewife Lori Drew fits the pattern perfectly. Drew was indicted under a federal anti- computer hacking statute for impersonating a young man on MySpace to gain the trust of an emotionally troubled teen, Megan Meier, who killed herself after the cruel joke spun out of control. The case contains all the hallmarks of overcriminalization and illustrates all of its common consequences:</p>
<ul>
<li>The decline of <I>mens rea</i> (guilty mind) requirements as a protection against unfair criminal liability;</li>
<li>The arbitrary nature of modern criminal offenses that provide citizens with no notice that their conduct may be illegal;</li>
<li>Extremely broad liability that threatens to make millions of honest citizens criminals;</li>
<li>Politics and public opinion trumping ordinary prosecutorial discretion and traditional notions of justice; and</li>
<li>The threat to liberty, the rule of law, and our civil society.</li>
</ul>
<p>Drew's conduct was irresponsible, but it was not criminal. It may deserve social sanction, already dispensed in great quantity, and perhaps civil liability to Megan Meier's parents. But if Drew is convicted under criminal law, virtually every Internet user will face the consequences.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Growing up, my father taught me to read all the fine print—always. And I do, whether it's a social networking site or the terms of my insurance, I read. I don't always follow the terms (as in the case of my age on MySpace), but I read—at least while signing up. But how many sites regularly update their terms? In this ever-changing world, is it fair to expect everyone to read everything always? Even I don't have the time to keep up—and I try. Is it fair to make it punishable <I>by law</i>?</p>
<p>“That the L.A. prosecutors were more 'creative' in charging than their Missouri counterparts is no answer, for the principal purpose of the criminal law is voluntary deterrence, which is built atop certainty,” says Grossman. “That such creativity in charging is possible speaks to the great overbreadth of the criminal law in general and the vagueness of the statute in particular. A criminal charge that comes as a surprise simply demonstrates that the law is unclear, has provided insufficient notice, and has failed in its purpose... such prosecutions decrease respect for the law across the board. As Professor John Coffee has explained, 'The criminal law is obeyed not simply because there is a legal threat underlying it, but because the public perceives its norms to be legitimate and deserving of compliance.'”</p>
<p>Yes, bullying is a major problem, both for children and adults and yes, the web, like any tool, has made it easier to be made a target. But it seems to me that this is not the way to go about creating a safer, happy environment for everyone. I am in accord with Grossman: whatever laws are put in place to protect citizens from this sort of reprehensible behavior must be known and understood as such, and not come at the expense of individual freedom.</p>
<p><b>MALWEBOLENCE</b></p>
<p>“Though there is some question about Drew's involvement in the meanest messages sent to Meier, even in the kindest light, her actions were irresponsible and deserve social, and perhaps civil legal, sanction,” Grossman writes in his brief. “That does not mean, however, that she did anything that is or should be a crime. In the harshest light, the accusations against her do not rise to that level. If all of the allegations against her are true, she treated a vulnerable teenage girl with cruelty and a malign heart. But kindness and compassion are not things that our society enforces by law, nor could it do so.”</p>
<p>Even so, Missouri and other states have introduced legislation to criminalize what the National Crime Prevention Council and lawmakers call “<a href="http://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullying">cyberbullying</a>”or  use of the “Internet, cell phones or other devices are used to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person.” These bills, unfortunately, are murky at best and subject to enough legal interpretation to make them difficult to stand First Amendment scrutiny.</p>
<p>For now, it seems we're on our own to educate our children about how to handle bullies in the playground and in the comfort of our own homes and to inculcate in them a sense of decency and decorum in communicating their negative feelings toward one another in a manner that is conducive to resolution and not abuse.</p>
<p>As it stands, that may not be a bad thing. To quote Benjamin Franklin, “Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”</p>
<p><i>Sources: <a href="http://www.wired.com/epicenter/2009/07/three-cheers-for-the-lori-drew-acquittal-but-not-for-drew" />Wired</a>, <a href="http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/news/2009/07/myspace-mom-lori-drews-conviction-thrown-out.ars">Ars Technica</a>, and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megan_Meier_suicide_controversy">Wikipedia</a>.</i></p>
<p><b>AROUND THE WEB</b></p>
<p>In the excellent piece by fellow contributing editor Nordette Adams <a href="http://www.blogher.com/legally-myspace-mom-not-guilty-much-megan-meier-case">explores the deeper lessons</a> we can take from this: "The problem is perhaps that well-centered adults are in short supply and that our children are often <i>too much like us, <i>too</i> self-centered, <i>too</i> vindictive, and <i>too</i> scared to accept themselves with love."</i></p>
<p>Shannon Lowe reports on <a href="http://www.blogher.com/myspace-mom-lori-drew-indicted-four-counts">Lori Drew's indictment on four counts, focusing on the public response to Drew's involvement in Meiers' death.</a></p>
<p>In <a href="http://www.drumsnwhistles.com/2007/11/23/megan-meiers-tragic-death-charge-lori-drew-with-child-abuse" />Megan Meier’s Tragic Death – Charge Lori Drew with Child Abuse</a>, Karoli elaborates on what Drew should have been charged with: child abuse.</p>
<p>Internet cruelty is a topic I feel passionately about. In <a href="http://omgomgomfg.com/2008/07/21/trolls-and-lolz-cruelty-on-the-internet" />Trolls and LOLz</a>, I talk about the effect of cyberbullying on some of the brightest minds in blogging today. Later, in <a href="http://omgomgomfg.com/2008/09/28/all-the-rage-online" />All The Rage Online</a>, I elaborate on the horrifying but very real aspect of online life that I like to call “malwebolence.”</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Ditch the clutter: Stop junk mail</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/ditch-clutter-stop-junk-mail" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/ditch-clutter-stop-junk-mail</id>
    <published>2009-07-04T02:22:09-05:00</published>
    <updated>2009-07-04T02:41:58-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>greenlagirl</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Green" />
    <category term="clutter" />
    <category term="environment" />
    <category term="junk mail" />
    <category term="paper" />
    <category term="Green" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1131/885795289_88da97748b_m.jpg" style="margin: 0pt 0px 0px 10pt; float: right" alt="junk mail" title="junk mail" />Stopping junk mail's easy -- theoretically -- since all you need to do is say no. But because you have to say no to so many different companies -- and may want to preserve one or two coupon mailers you use -- de-cluttering your mail box can get difficult pretty fast. This perhaps explains why so many people still get -- and complain about -- the amount of junk mail they get.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1131/885795289_88da97748b_m.jpg" style="margin: 0pt 0px 0px 10pt; float: right" alt="junk mail" title="junk mail" />Stopping junk mail's easy -- theoretically -- since all you need to do is say no. But because you have to say no to so many different companies -- and may want to preserve one or two coupon mailers you use -- de-cluttering your mail box can get difficult pretty fast. This perhaps explains why so many people still get -- and complain about -- the amount of junk mail they get.</p>
<p>But de-junk-mailing doesn't have to be so hard! Just follow these steps to declare junk mail independence this July 4 -- and to save a whole lot of paper ( read: trees) while you're at it. I'll start with the free services -- a bit more time consuming, but easier to customize for your individual needs -- then go on to the paid ones that do the hard work for you.</p>
<p><b>1. Bye bye</b><b> credit card offers</b>. These things have gotten a lot of people into financial holes lately -- so stop the debt catastrophes from ever tempting you by <a href="http://www.optoutprescreen.com/">opting out of credit card offers</a>. You can opt out for 5 years or forever -- though if you change your mind, all you have to do is stop by the site again to opt in.</p>
<p><b>2. Get off the Direct Marketing Association's list</b> -- <a href="https://www.dmachoice.org/dma/member/regist.action">for $1 if you mail in the form</a> (see right sidebar). There also appears to be  an online option that requires registration, but I don't recommend this as it's oddly complicated. Note that this step won't stop the Val-Pak or ShopWise or any of the other local coupon packets -- just the totally random junk mail that seemed to come outta nowhere. A few months after sending in the form, you'll start to see a junk mail decrease.</p>
<p><b>3. Stop the catalogs</b>. Sign up for the FREE <a href="http://www.catalogchoice.org/">Catalog Choice</a>, which'll let you halt catalogs you don't want very easily AND monitor to make sure they actually are keeping you off their lists. You can also contact the catalog companies individually via their customer service lines -- but of course that'll take more time.</p>
<p><b>4. D</b><b>itch the local coupon lists</b> -- <a href="http://www.coxtarget.com/mailsuppression/s/DisplayMailSuppressionForm">Val-Pak</a>,  <a href="http://www.advo.com/consumersupport.html">ShopWise</a>, Pennysaver (call 800.422.4116), Local Community Values (call 626.472.5377), and <a href="http://moneymailer.com/company-info/contact-us/">Money Mailer</a>. Annoyingly, you'll need to contact each of them separately -- but this could be good news for people who want to keep getting one of these but not the rest.</p>
<p><b>5. Junk</b><b> the individual stuff</b>. Still getting other types of junk mail? Call the customer service lines, then wait to get hold of an actual person who can take your name off the lists.</p>
<p>And now for the paid services!  If you really want off the lists but the above seems way too time consuming for you, these companies can help -- for a small fee:</p>
<p>&gt;&gt; <b><a href="http://www.41pounds.org/">41pounds.org</a></b>. This company promises to reduce your junk mail by 80-95%! $41 covers you for five years, with $15 of that money going to a nonprofit of your choice. The fee covers you even if you move, as long as it's within four years of subscribing.</p>
<p>&gt;&gt;<b> <a href="http://www.greendimes.com/greendimes/HowItWorks">GreenDimes</a>. </b>This company promises a 90% reduction in your junk mail. $20 covers you for a year -- even if you move -- and will get 5 trees planted for you on your behalf.</p>
<p>Got all that done? Then pat yourself on your back because you've really shrunk your carbon footprint today. <a href="http://www.donotmail.org/downloads/ClimateReport.pdf">Junk mail’s un-eco effect’s the equivalent of more than nine million cars</a> (PDF) or the emissions generated by heating nearly 13 million homes for the winter, according to a study by ForestEthics.</p>
<p>Don't see why you should have to do all this work to stop junk mail you never asked for in the first place? Then sign ForestEthics’ <a href="http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/o/281/t/5980/petition.jsp?petition_KEY=941">Do Not Mail Petition</a>, which is pushing lawmakers to create a national Do Not Mail list, similar to the existing Do Not Call list. So far, the <a href="http://donotmail.org/article.php?id=167">San Francisco Board of Supervisors want a Do Not Mail Registry</a> and passed a resolution calling on California to create one -- but the resolution's non-binding and has no actual power to help people make the junk mail stop.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, this fight will probably go on for a while, as the <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/03/18/AR2008031802893.html">United States Postal Service has launched a Mail Moves America campaign</a>. USPS allies include some environmental groups, which themselves send unsolicited letters (usually asking for money) to mass mailing lists. So what can you do besides sign a petition and getting rid of your own junkmail? Make it a point never to respond to mailed requests for donations -- and let the organizations you donate to know that their unsolicited junk mail has you rethinking your generosity.<br />
___</p>
<p>BlogHer Contributing Editor Siel likes a tidy mailbox. She blogs at <a href="http://greenlagirl.com">greenLAgirl.com</a>.</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Red, White &amp; Blue and FAST </title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/red-white-blue-and-fast" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/red-white-blue-and-fast</id>
    <published>2009-07-04T01:00:00-05:00</published>
    <updated>2009-07-04T01:41:59-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Alanna Kellogg</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Food &amp; Drink" />
    <category term="Fourth of July" />
    <category term="july 4th" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Quick. It's not too late to pull together a fast red-white-and-blue treat for the 4th of July! Of course not, it's a 'long' weekend, there's today and there's still tomorrow, too. So here are a few quick ideas from favorite food blogs.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Quick. It's not too late to pull together a fast red-white-and-blue treat for the 4th of July! Of course not, it's a 'long' weekend, there's today and there's still tomorrow, too. So here are a few quick ideas from favorite food blogs. </p>
<p><strong>17 and Baking</strong> ~ <a href="http://17andbaking.wordpress.com/2009/07/01/a-little-taste-of-independence/">A Little Taste of Independence</a><br />
This one would take a little time, but if you've got a white cake mix, food coloring and cream cheese, you're nearly there. It's a fabulous cake with dramatic stripes of red, white and blue. VERY cool. </p>
<p><strong>Phe.mom.enon</strong> ~ <a href="http://phemomenon.blogspot.com/2009/07/red-white-blue-tie-dye-cookies.html">Red, White &amp; Blue Tie Dye Cookies</a><br />
Again, fabulous. Holly shares a sugar cookie recipe but if you're short on time, buy a roll of sugar cookies or even a package of sugar cookies, then concentrate on the tie-dying. T-shirts, anyone? </p>
<p><strong>5 Dollar Dinners</strong> ~ <a href="http://www.5dollardinners.com/2009/07/july-4th-smoothie.html">July 4th Smoothie</a><br />
This one's a snap, just strawberries and blueberries in a smoothie. Very pretty!</p>
<p><strong>Yum Sugar</strong> ~ <a href="http://www.yumsugar.com/3412805">Patriotic Cupcakes</a><br />
Looking for a short cut? Use a white cake mix, throw in some blueberries, make some icing and top with a raspberry. Don't forget the flags!</p>
<p><strong>And you?</strong><br />
And you, what's your favorite red, white and blue treat? Leave a recipe or a link to a recipe in the comments!</p>
<p><i>For the Fourth of July, BlogHer food editor Alanna Kellogg recommends <a href="http://kitchenparade.com/2009/06/two-bite-brownies.php">Two-Bite Brownies</a> on skewers in a watermelon, very festive!</i></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>7 Lifestyle Tips For Reducing Blood Pressure and Maintaining Good Health </title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/7-lifestyle-tips-reducing-blood-pressure-and-maintaining-good-health" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/7-lifestyle-tips-reducing-blood-pressure-and-maintaining-good-health</id>
    <published>2009-07-03T23:55:36-05:00</published>
    <updated>2009-07-03T23:58:51-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Catherine Morgan</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Food &amp; Drink" />
    <category term="Health &amp; Wellness" />
    <category term="Life" />
    <category term="Conditions &amp; Ailments" />
    <category term="Cooking for Health" />
    <category term="Fitness" />
    <category term="excercise" />
    <category term="heart disease. diet" />
    <category term="heart health" />
    <category term="high_blood_pressure" />
    <category term="hypertension" />
    <category term="obesity" />
    <category term="weight_loss" />
    <category term="Cholesterol" />
    <category term="Conditions &amp; Ailments" />
    <category term="Cooking for Health" />
    <category term="Diabetes" />
    <category term="Diabetes" />
    <category term="Exercise" />
    <category term="Fitness" />
    <category term="Health &amp; Wellness" />
    <category term="Heart Health" />
    <category term="High Blood Pressure" />
    <category term="Nutrition" />
    <category term="Stress" />
    <category term="Weight Loss" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Did you know that one in every three adults has high blood pressure?  <b><i>Are you one of them?</i></b></p>
<p>I had some good news the other day.  It seems that all of my hard work trying to eat healthy and lose weight is finally paying off.  For the first time in years my blood pressure is actually normal.  <i>Yaaay!</i> This is just the kind of validation I was looking for when I began my journey of weight loss and healthy living.</p>
<p>If you have high blood pressure or know someone who does, here are some tips that can help lower blood pressure naturally.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Did you know that one in every three adults has high blood pressure?  <b><i>Are you one of them?</i></b></p>
<p>I had some good news the other day.  It seems that all of my hard work trying to eat healthy and lose weight is finally paying off.  For the first time in years my blood pressure is actually normal.  <i>Yaaay!</i> This is just the kind of validation I was looking for when I began my journey of weight loss and healthy living.</p>
<p>If you have high blood pressure or know someone who does, here are some tips that can help lower blood pressure naturally.</p>
<p><b>Tip #1 - <i>Lose 10 Pounds</i></b></p>
<p>Did you know that most Americans are overweight (<a href="http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/overwt.htm">66% are overweight or obese</a>)?  It's true.  It's also true that losing as little as ten pounds can help reduce high blood pressure.</p>
<p>From <a href="http://www.scienceblog.com/cms/study_shows_weight_loss_decreases_ace_enzyme_that_controls_blood_pressure">The Science Blog</a>...</p>
<blockquote><p>People who find it hard to lose all the weight they want or that their doctors recommend should take heart, a North Carolina scientist says. New research suggests that losing even modest amounts of weight can pay off in better health. The study showed for the first time that shedding excess pounds decreases activity of a key enzyme known to play a central role in high blood pressure. Less body weight translates into lower blood pressure, the study found, and hence lower risks for cardiovascular disease, stroke, kidney disease and other health problems.</p></blockquote>
<p>Also See:  <a href="/one-more">Obesity On The Rise</a> and <a href="http://mommylife.net/archives/2008/07/overweight_spou.html">Overweight Spouse - What Can You Do?</a></p>
<p><b>Tip #2 - <i>Eat A Healthy Diet</i></b></p>
<p>Are you eating a heart healthy diet?  Whether you are trying to lose weight or not, making healthy food choices is important for your heart health.  <a href="/health-news-dash-diet-saves-lives-healthcare-crisis-affecting-insured-and-breast-cancer-screening">The DASH Diet is a proven diet for lowering blood pressure</a>...</p>
<blockquote><p>Are you interested in lowering your blood pressure?  Reducing your risk of heart disease?  If so, you may want to consider the <a href="http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/hbp/prevent/h_eating/h_e_dash.htm">DASH Diet</a>.</p>
<p>When compared to a typical America diet, women following a DASH diet were 24 percent less likely to have a heart attack, and 18 percent less likely to have a <a href="/2007/08/10/stroke-three-signs-you-need-to-know-that-could-save-your-life-with-youtube-psa-videos/">stroke</a>.  This is a pretty big deal, especially considering that the number one cause of death in women is <a href="/2007/01/24/women-and-heart-disease-knowing-the-facts-could-save-your-life/">heart disease</a>.</p></blockquote>
<p>Here is a post from Single Minded Women with <a href="http://singlemindedwomen.com/2008/12/ten-great-foods-for-a-heart-smart-life/">Ten Great Foods for a Heart Smart Life</a>...</p>
<blockquote><p>In reality, good health begins with choosing good foods. And these ten foods are a great, heart smart place to start:</p></blockquote>
<p>From Tina at Think Simple Now - <a href="http://thinksimplenow.com/health/eating-our-way-to-death-literally/">Eating Our Way To Death, Literally</a>...</p>
<blockquote><p>What would you say if I told you that meat and dairy consumption are associated with heart disease, cancer and diabetes? Or if I told you that the meat industry kills more than 10 billion animals a year, in the US alone, and contributes more toward pollution than the exhaust from all the cars in the world?</p></blockquote>
<p>Also see:  <a href="/what-heart-healthy-eating-anyway">What is heart healthy eating anyway?</a></p>
<p><b>Tip #3 - <i>Get Regular Exercise</i></b> - <a href="/start-healthy-heart-workout">Start a healthy heart workout</a>.</p>
<blockquote><p>You can keep your heart healthy while reducing stress and burning calories. How? Try to get 10 to 30 minutes of aerobic exercise each day. Even a small amount of activity can have a large effect on your overall heart health. It's not really important what you do to get yourself moving and your heart pumping, as long as you do something.</p></blockquote>
<p><b>Tip #4 -  <i>Reduce Sodium Intake</i></b></p>
<p>From Liz at Looking Good (for a mom) - <a href="http://lookinggoodmom.blogspot.com/2009/05/cutting-salt-to-cut-fat.html">Cutting Salt to Cut Fat</a>...</p>
<blockquote><p>I think most of us are aware that we should try to limit our sodium intake. Perhaps you refrain from salting your food, or try not to eat high salt foods like canned soups and frozen meals. You might even be checking food labels, looking to see if salt is one of the major ingredients.</p>
<p>But did you know that a high sodium intake can actually affect your weight loss success? It's true. Excess sodium intake actually causes your fat cells to grow larger, meaning that even with the same amount of fat, you will LOOK more flabby. Excess sodium can also increase fluid retention, keeping the scale from moving (while you feel frustrated) even as you exercise and reduce calories.</p></blockquote>
<p><b>Tip #5 - <i>Don't Smoke</i></b> (and avoid exposure to second-hand smoke).</p>
<p>From <a href="http://www.webmd.com/hypertension-high-blood-pressure/guide/kicking-habit">WebMD</a>...</p>
<blockquote><p>Did you know that smoking and heart disease are related? Or that smoking increases blood pressure? Most people associate cigarette smoking with breathing problems and lung cancer. But people who smoke are more also likely to develop hypertension and heart disease.</p>
<p>About 30% of all deaths from heart disease in the U.S. are directly related to cigarette smoking. That's because smoking is a major cause of coronary artery disease especially in younger people.</p></blockquote>
<p><b>Tip #6 - <i>Cut Back on Caffeine</i></b></p>
<p>Do you drink a lot of coffee, soda or energy drinks?   If so, you may be getting way too much caffeine.</p>
<p>From <a href="/Caffeine%20is%20a%20mild%20stimulant%20found%20in%20coffee,%20tea,%20chocolate%20and%20many%20soft%20drinks.%20Too%20much%20caffeine%20can%20cause%20nervousness%20and%20jitters.%20It%20may%20also%20increase%20your%20blood%20pressure.%20The%20amount%20of%20caffeine%20in%20two%20to%20three%20cups%20of%20coffee%20can%20raise%20systolic%20pressure%203%20to%2014%20millimeters%20of%20mercury%20%28mm%20Hg%29%20and%20diastolic%20pressure%204%20to%2013%20mm%20Hg%20in%20people%20without%20high%20blood%20pressure.">The Mayo Clinic</a>...</p>
<blockquote><p>Caffeine is a mild stimulant found in coffee, tea, chocolate and many soft drinks. Too much caffeine can cause nervousness and jitters. It may also increase your blood pressure. The amount of caffeine in two to three cups of coffee can raise systolic pressure 3 to 14 millimeters of mercury (mm Hg) and diastolic pressure 4 to 13 mm Hg in people without high blood pressure.</p></blockquote>
<p><b>Tip #7 - <i>Avoid Stress</i></b></p>
<p>This may be the most difficult lifestyle change to make, especially in this stressful economy.  <a href="/are-you-stressing-over-money-it-could-be-making-you-sick">Are you stressing over money?</a></p>
<blockquote><p>Do you stress over money? I do. With the way the economy is going, if you're not stressing over money now, you sure could be in the near future. Gas prices are going up, home values are going down, and what money we do have is buying less and less. The thing about stressing over money is...It doesn't pay the bills. What it can do, is make you sick.</p>
<p>Yes, stressing over money (or anything for that matter) can and does make you sick.</p></blockquote>
<p>Also See:  <a href="/new-study-reading-best-reduce-stress">Reading To Reduce Stress</a> and <a href="http://www.catherine-morgan.com/2009/02/21/learn-how-to-reduce-stress-with-positive-affirmations/">Learn How To Reduce Stress With Positive Affirmations</a></p>
<p>It's not easy, but all of us have the power to make lifestyle changes that can benefit our heart health.  The question is...<i>Why aren't more of us making these changes?</i> What do you think?  Do you have any tips for reducing high blood pressure?  Let me know in comments.</p>
<p><b>Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan</b><br />
at <a href="http://catherine-morgan.com/">Catherine-Morgan.com</a> and <a href="http://women4hope.wordpress.com/">Women4Hope </a></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Rome Investigating US nuns. Will they reinvent the past?</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/rome-investigating-us-nuns-will-they-reinvent-past" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/rome-investigating-us-nuns-will-they-reinvent-past</id>
    <published>2009-07-03T21:40:43-05:00</published>
    <updated>2009-07-03T21:40:43-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Mata H</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Life" />
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <category term="apostolic visitation" />
    <category term="leadership conference of women religious" />
    <category term="nuns" />
    <category term="Pope" />
    <category term="Religious" />
    <category term="religious orders" />
    <category term="Rome" />
    <category term="vatican" />
    <category term="Catholic" />
    <category term="Religion &amp; Spirituality" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>The Vatican, in what is seen as a move to potentially "crack down" on orders of nuns who may have evolved in ways not pleasing to Rome, has begun what is called <a href="http://www.apostolicvisitation.org/en/index.html">"an apostolic visitation" </a>of US nuns. This would be done, says Rome, "in order to safeguard and promote consecrated life". Many here feel it may be to reverse the modernization of nuns in America.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>The Vatican, in what is seen as a move to potentially "crack down" on orders of nuns who may have evolved in ways not pleasing to Rome, has begun what is called <a href="http://www.apostolicvisitation.org/en/index.html">"an apostolic visitation" </a>of US nuns. This would be done, says Rome, "in order to safeguard and promote consecrated life". Many here feel it may be to reverse the modernization of nuns in America. </p>
<p>During this visitation, surveys and interviews will take place across the US under supervision of a Rome-appointed Mother Mary Clare Millea, the superior general of her order, the Apostles of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. </p>
<p>The last papal apostolic visitations in the US were to investigate pedophilia in the church after the recent scandals.</p>
<p>Further, the nuns get a second visitation. A "doctrinal assessment" will take place  of the <a href="http://www.lcwr.org/">Leadership Conference of Women Religious</a>, which has members from about 95% of all US religious orders. This organization is involved in <a href="http://www.lcwr.org/lcwrsocialjustice/issues.htm">an impressive number of social justice issues.</a> The <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/02/us/02nuns.html?scp=2&amp;sq=nuns&amp;st=cse">NYT states </a>that the LCWR had failed to "promote" the church's teachings on three issues: the male-only priesthood, homosexuality, and the primacy of the Roman Catholic church as a means to salvation."</p>
<p>For decades, especially after the Second Vatican Council, Roman Catholic nuns have been evolving their ministries. When I was a child, nuns all wore cumbersome and warm floor-length habits and veils, sensible shoes and had huge rosaries hanging from their belts. They lived in convents, and sometimes were cloistered (set apart from the world, living in private with only themselves as contacts). They were the "church housewives" taking care of the church cleaning, cooking for the priests, teaching in the church school and generally doing the "women's chores" of the church. </p>
<p>Since then it has become increasingly hard to tell who is a nun and who is not. The habit is largely gone. Nuns are as likely to be living in the apartment next to you, and teaching in a school, or working at hospitals or social service agencies or advocating for social justice issues. </p>
<p>While they still observe the tenets of poverty, chastity and obedience, the rules surrounding their everyday life have shifted a great deal. Some nuns have even openly advocated for changes in the church, such as ordaining women or allowing priests to marry. </p>
<p>Not only that, but the decline in their numbers is dramatic. The new York Times (2/7/09) reports that in 1965 the number of nuns in the USA was 180,000. Today it is about 60,000. </p>
<p>The Vatican has taken note.</p>
<p>Some nuns are not worried. Others have refused to cooperate with the surveys. Things do not look so positive for progressive nuns. This March, the Committee on Doctrine of the US Conference of Catholic bishops said Catholics should stop practicing <a href="http://www.reiki.org/faq/WhatIsReiki.html">Reiki.</a> This is a healing therapy that has been used by and practiced by many nuns with ministries in hospitals and spiritual retreat oversight. The bishops decided this was un-Christian. </p>
<p>Whether you are a strict Catholic who feels that the nuns have crossed lines that they should not have, or a progressive who believes that the role of religious should evolve, there is no doubt that change is afoot. Will Rome be able to get the genie back in the bottle?  Should they try?<br />
-------------------------------------------------------------<br />
RELATED BLOGS</p>
<p><a href="http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/07/02/vatican-cracks-down-on-nuns/">Mary Curtis</a> notes:</p>
<blockquote><p>
Over the years, I saw their habits change, literally and figuratively. Most of the nuns I know now are working in the community, as teachers and social workers. They speak up, too. It goes down a lot better than the deference to priests, which – even in first grade -- I found pretty creepy. Considering what some of the priests were doing, more backtalk would have been a good thing.</p>
<p>It's no surprise that such a patriarchal institution is keeping a close eye on convent life. But if the church wants to encourage vocations to fill the diminishing ranks of the religious, a crackdown isn't the best recruiting tool.</p></blockquote>
<p><a href="http://marthaymaria.blogspot.com/2009/07/vatican-investigates-us-nuns.html">Anne</a> says this:</p>
<blockquote><p>
American priests got investigated by the Vatican for child sexual abuse--and now American nuns are facing scrutiny.</p>
<p>Their crimes?</p>
<p>1) Advocating that the priesthood be opened to women and to married men.<br />
2) Using Reiki therapy.<br />
3) Being too uppity.</p>
<p>The specific target is the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, an umbrella organization with membership from 95% of women's religious orders in the US. This group famously asked Sr. Theresa Kane to speak out to Pope John Paul II when he visited the US in 1979, asking him to reconsider women's ordination.</p>
<p><a href="http://feministcampus.blogspot.com/2009/07/those-fiesty-nuns.html">Ellen</a> sees this as an attempt to squelch feminism among nuns:</p>
<blockquote><p>
The investigation will look into how closely these nuns are following the rules and mission of their order, but it is also looking into the nuns that are members of groups that advocate the ordination of women and other issues that conflict with church teachings. Some believe that this investigation is in response to the threat these women pose to the Vatican, and may led to an effort to return convents and nuns to a more traditional, conservative role in the church.
</p></blockquote>
<p><a href="http://www.harpyness.com/2009/07/03/sisters-arent-allowed-to-do-it-for-themselves/">The Pursuit of Harpyness</a> points out:</p>
<blockquote><p>
- “The visitation focuses only on nuns actively engaged in working in society and the church, not cloistered, contemplative nuns.” In other words, the Church is only alarmed by those women who are not cloistered and who dare to actually try and help the communities they’re living in. They could be spreading dangerous womanly ideas! But no worries about priests (or monks) who are doing the same thing. Being a nun does not equal being a hermit — at least, it shouldn’t...<br />
- Finally, nuns are not the only people within the Church who may choose to agitate for change. But they are women. The only time I can recall any kind of wide-scale scrutiny of male members of the Church is when it was part of pedophilia investigations, and not because of any perceived doctrinal missteps. In other words, when the Church’s sisters get out of line with their words and deeds, it becomes a Very Big Deal that must be investigated. If the Church’s fathers or brothers get out of line, it’ll be ignored and/or swept under the rug as quickly as possible. It’s enough to make me want to rap the Church’s knuckles with a very stiff ruler.
</p></blockquote>
<p><a href="http://timesfool.blogspot.com">Time's Fool</a> is where CE, Mata H, can usually be found blogging and wondering.</p>
</blockquote>    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Hot Chicks in Centre Court with a side of Racism. Wimbledon, I am so Disappointed.</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/hot-chicks-centre-court-side-racism-wimbledon-i-am-so-disappointed" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/hot-chicks-centre-court-side-racism-wimbledon-i-am-so-disappointed</id>
    <published>2009-07-03T18:17:48-05:00</published>
    <updated>2009-07-04T07:25:54-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Sarah</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Sports" />
    <category term="Centre Court" />
    <category term="misogyny" />
    <category term="racism" />
    <category term="Wimbledon" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Beauty before talent. That is such an ugly phrase. I think everyone knows that it works that way in Middle School; it should not work that way at Wimbledon.</p>
<p>Yet it does.</p>
<blockquote><p><b>Beauty of a player</b> is among the things<b> taken into consideration when deciding on the court selection at Wimbledon </b>and it has been confirmed by All England Club spokesperson Johnny Perkins.
</p>
</blockquote>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Beauty before talent. That is such an ugly phrase. I think everyone knows that it works that way in Middle School; it should not work that way at Wimbledon.</p>
<p>Yet it does.</p>
<blockquote><p><b>Beauty of a player</b> is among the things<b> taken into consideration when deciding on the court selection at Wimbledon </b>and it has been confirmed by All England Club spokesperson Johnny Perkins.
</p>
<p><b>&quot;Good looks are a factor,&quot;</b> said Perkins, and added<br />
that court selection is &quot;a great big mixture of where the players are<br />
in the draw, who they're playing, what their ranking is&quot;.</p>
<p>- <a href="http://www.womenstennisblog.com/2009/06/30/prettier-faces-have-advantage-of-playing-on-wimbledon-centre-court/" target="_blank">Women's Tennis Blog </a></p>
</blockquote>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Wimbledon of all places! Of all tournaments! Wimbledon who has equal payouts for male and female champions. Tennis, of all sports... women's tennis, who celebrated Billie Jean King for being able to beat Bobby Riggs because he was a man not because of her short skirts or her breasts or because she <a href="http://www.draftdaysuit.com/2009/06/29/you-know-things-are-bad-when-chris-evert-calls-you-out/" target="_blank">grunted like a porn star</a> when she was playing a tennis match. </p>
<p>I am outraged. I know I should just let it go. The Wimbledon committee is probably going for television ratings and advertising revenue. I understand business, I understand that women's tennis isn't necessarily what people all over the world are choosing to watch this weekend. </p>
<blockquote><p>Wimbledon promoters called it &quot;The Battle of the Babes&quot; when <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/topics/Victoria+Azarenka" title="Victoria Azarenka">Victoria Azarenka</a>, seeded 8th in the tournament, took on Cristea, seeded 28th, at Centre Court on Friday. The same day, second seed <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/topics/Serena+Williams" title="Serena Williams">Serena Williams</a>, undoubtedly one of the great players the sport has ever seen, was relegated to play her match on the No. 2 court. </p>
<p>The American superstar got lost on her way to the court and was 6 minutes late for her match. </p>
<p>Many<br />
of the seats on Centre Court for the &quot;Babe&quot; match remained empty.<br />
Die-hard tennis fans who came to the event seemed to know better -<br />
which indicated the move had more to do with television ratings.</p>
<p>- <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/more_sports/2009/06/29/2009-06-29_wimbledon_babes.html">Kate Nocera, New York Daily News</a> </p>
</blockquote>
<p>Maybe I am just shocked that they admitted it. Diane at <a href="http://womenwhoserve.blogspot.com/2009/06/sexism-at-wimbledon-not-so-shocking.html" target="_blank">Women Who Serve </a>wasn't surprised at all. She says:</p>
<blockquote><p>Some of you may have seen the Daily Mail feature, <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1196155/Babe-set-match-How-looks-count-talent-Wimbledon-decides-girls-play-Centre-Court.html">&quot;Babe, set and match: Why looks count for more than talent when Wimbledon decides which girls will play on Centre Court.&quot;</a><br />
The title of the story itself is sexist, since the majority of the<br />
players are women, but one would not expect the British press to care<br />
about that. It surprises me a bit that this story has gotten so much<br />
attention... </p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Before I sat down to write this post I was talking to my mother-in-law about it. She was surprised, but then she brought up how beautiful and athletic the William's sisters were.  I said &quot;Yes, and they are also relegated to the second court because they aren't blonde haired and blue eyed.&quot;</p>
<p>So here are two beautiful superstars. <a href="/williams-sisters-face-wimbledon-finals" target="_blank">Venus and Serena Williams faced each other last year in the Wimbledon finals </a>and they will do so again. Yet Serena's match took a back seat to &quot;The Battle of the Babes&quot;. And why?</p>
<p>Megan has a guess.</p>
<blockquote><p>This is wrong it so many ways, where do I start?  First of all, that<br />
definition of attractiveness is the white, male All England Club's<br />
definition.  Venus and Serena Williams are some of the most gorgeous<br />
ladies out on the court.  But see, this is about being blonde and<br />
leggy.  If you're not blonde and leggy, you're not attractive.  Never<br />
have been, never will be....</p>
<p>- <a href="http://www.megansminute.com/2009/06/wimby-2009-only-babes-allowed-on-centre-court-plus-williamswilliams-on-a-role.html" target="_blank">Megan's Minute</a> </p>
</blockquote>
<p>and so does Diane. </p>
<blockquote><p>In other words, it came as no surprise to me at all to read about the<br />
Centre Court selections; I find this news to be part and parcel of the<br />
sexist culture of my nation and other nations that produce tennis<br />
players, as well as the sexist culture of sports in general. As ugly as<br />
the sexism is, however, there is more than sexism in play in these<br />
selections. The &quot;babes&quot; selected to play on Centre Court--except in<br />
situations in which the selections are default--like the &quot;babes&quot;<br />
selected as the tour's hottest women on the Australian Open website,<br />
have one thing in common--their skin color. Serena Williams is not a<br />
babe. Li Na is not a babe. There are a lot of people, incidentally, who<br />
think these two women are beautiful, but they do not qualify for &quot;babe&quot;<br />
status. And while I realize that consideration of beauty is very<br />
subjective, it is hardly a coincidence that African American and Asian<br />
women do not ever appear on the list. The world's most beautiful<br />
lesbian could be on the tour, too, and--if she were out--you can be<br />
assured she would not be on the list, either.</p>
<p>- <a href="http://womenwhoserve.blogspot.com/2009/06/sexism-at-wimbledon-not-so-shocking.html" target="_blank">Sexism at Wimbledon - Not so Shocking</a></p>
</blockquote>
<p>I agree with them.</p>
<p>It makes me sad. It makes me sick. Fortunately, for Wimbledon and for the WTA no matter who they put in the spotlight, the cream still rises and I will still be watching the Williams sisters battle it out. Even if the Wimbledon Committee would rather see Gisela Dulko play against Victoria Azarenka I can't wait to see Venus and Serena again. They are the best and that is why I will be tuning in to the finals. </p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><i>Contributing Editor Sarah also blogs at <a href="http://sarahandthegoonsquad.com/" target="_blank">Sarah and the Goon Squad,</a> <a href="http://draftdaysuit.com">Draft Day Suit</a> and <a href="http://www.mamapop.com/mamapop/2009/02/criss-angel-and.html" target="_blank">MamaPop</a>.</i></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>BREAKING NEWS: Sarah Palin Resigns as Alaska Governor</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/breaking-news-sarah-palin-resignes-alaska-governor" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/breaking-news-sarah-palin-resignes-alaska-governor</id>
    <published>2009-07-03T17:38:36-05:00</published>
    <updated>2009-07-03T18:14:16-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>PunditMom</name>
    </author>
    <category term="News &amp; Politics" />
    <category term="Alaska" />
    <category term="GOP politics" />
    <category term="Sarah Palin" />
    <category term="Breaking News" />
    <category term="Politics" />
    <category term="Republicans" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Just when we thought the Fourth of July weekend was going to be dominated by continuing coverage of Michael Jackson's death, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin stepped in to give us something else to talk about -- her <a href="http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/07/03/live-sarah-palins-press-conference/">sudden and unexpected announcement </a>that <a href="http://bumpshack.com/2009/07/03/sarah-palin-quits-not-running-for-reelection-in-2010/">she will resign </a>before the end of the month. </p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Just when we thought the Fourth of July weekend was going to be dominated by continuing coverage of Michael Jackson's death, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin stepped in to give us something else to talk about -- her <a href="http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/07/03/live-sarah-palins-press-conference/">sudden and unexpected announcement </a>that <a href="http://bumpshack.com/2009/07/03/sarah-palin-quits-not-running-for-reelection-in-2010/">she will resign </a>before the end of the month. </p>
<p>At least one journo is wondering if Palin is resigning because she is <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/03/sarah-palin-resignation-r_n_225534.html">pregnant</a>! You can watch the full speech (see video below) which was <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/03/sarah-palin-resignation-s_n_225557.html">a little on the bizarre side,</a> especially the part about only dead fish going with the flow. </p>
<p>She said she's not wired like a normal politician and doesn't want to advocate for Alaska in the usual manner and so is starting down this new path for Alaska? Palin compares herself with a point guard in her decision? She sure seemed like an overly caffeinated point guard to me and the people of Alaska have to be asking themselves, &quot;What were we thinking when we elected her governor?&quot; </p>
<div height="344" width="425">
<div value="http://www.youtube.com/v/G1tnUvtjaaY&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;" name="movie"></div>
<div value="true" name="allowFullScreen"></div>
<div value="always" name="allowscriptaccess"></div>
<p><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" width="425" height="344"><br />
<param name="width" value="425" />
<param name="height" value="344" />
<param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" />
<param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" />
<param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/G1tnUvtjaaY&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/G1tnUvtjaaY&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1&amp;"></embed></object></p></div>
<p>These are some really concerning ramblings by a woman who came awfully close to being the Vice President of the United States. And after reading the <a href="http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2009/08/sarah-palin200908">Vanity Fair </a>article about her just today, I have to believe she still has political aspirations -- but if so, her actions make absolutely no sense. Maybe in her mind she is carving out a new path to political fame, but it seems like it will be a winding and unlikely path. </p>
<p>Palin says this decision has been in the works for a while, partly because some have mocked her son Trig? Really? I haven't heard any of that. </p>
<p>To be honest, her ramblings made no sense and really made me question what is really going on here. And, if she had become vice president, would she be resigning that office today? Or is there some oddly crafted plan to run for the Senate in 2010 or the White House in 2012? And why would anyone vote for her again if she can't even last four years in the Governor's office of a sparsely populated state? </p>
<p>There's sure to be a lot of speculation and analysis over the coming days and I, along with many others, definitely want to be there to see how this unfolds. My biggest hope is that the very strange tale of Sarah Palin doesn't dissuade other mothers of small children from running for office. There's something to be said for having that perspective in state houses, governor's offices and in Washington, D.C. </p>
<p>I hope the strange path that Sarah Palin seems to be on doesn't keep other moms away from the political world. I think there's more to explore and examine on this story and I am looking forward to writing about it in the coming days! </p>
<p><a href="http://view.picapp.com/default.aspx?term=" palin?&amp;iid="3126758&quot;" target="_blank"><img src="http://cdn.picapp.com/ftp/Images/c/6/f/5/5f.JPG?adImageId=1788967&amp;imageId=3126758" alt="UPI POY 2008 - Campaign 2008." border="0" height="530" width="500" /></a></p>
<script src="http://cdn.pis.picapp.com/IamProd/PicAppPIS/JavaScript/PisV4.js" type="text/javascript"></script><p> BlogHer News &amp; Politics <a href="/blog/punditmom">Contributing Editor </a>Joanne Bamberger also writes about politics at her place, <a href="http://punditmom1.blogspot.com/">PunditMom.</a> </p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Why I&#039;m Against Cap-and-Trade</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/why-im-against-cap-and-trade" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/why-im-against-cap-and-trade</id>
    <published>2009-07-03T13:15:06-05:00</published>
    <updated>2009-07-03T13:29:07-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Dana Loesch</name>
    </author>
    <category term="News &amp; Politics" />
    <category term="cap and trade" />
    <category term="Democrats" />
    <category term="economics" />
    <category term="energy" />
    <category term="nancy pelosi" />
    <category term="President Obama" />
    <category term="russ carnahan" />
    <category term="tom carnahan" />
    <category term="waxman-markey" />
    <category term="Politics" />
    <category term="Economy" />
    <category term="Environment" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I've followed the Waxman - Markey legislation, infamously known as cap-and-trade, for some time now, being that I've a factory-employed step-father, farmers in my family, a small business-owning husband, and, like all of us, I pay energy bills, the prices of which seem to increase annually.</p>
<p></p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I've followed the Waxman - Markey legislation, infamously known as cap-and-trade, for some time now, being that I've a factory-employed step-father, farmers in my family, a small business-owning husband, and, like all of us, I pay energy bills, the prices of which seem to increase annually.</p>
<p>
The common misconception about conservatives is that we're not &quot;pro-environment,&quot; which couldn't be further from the truth. I come from a farming family who steadfastly believe that what you take from the earth you return. I was raised knowing that it's a responsibility of humanity - even laid forth in Genesis - to be a good steward of the environment. This, perhaps is my biggest criticism of cap-and-trade (<a href="http://www.greenpeace.org/usa/press-center/releases2/greenpeace-opposes-waxman-mark" target="_blank">also Greenpeace's</a> - I cannot believe they and I are agreeing on an issue, even in part), aside from my other concern: massive job loss.
</p>
<p>
This legislation, <a href="http://www.redstate.com/california_yankee/2009/06/26/obama-on-cap-and-trade-electricity-rates-would-necessarily-skyrocket/" target="_blank">as explained by President Obama</a>, proposes to curb carbon emissions and reduce energy usage by increasing the price of energy as the motivation to use less. There are several things wrong with this proposal, things which make it impossible for me to support:
</p>
<p>
1) The legislation approaches the problem of carbon emissions completely wrong. Back in the 90s, my uncle was one of several lobbyists who worked to push forth legislation that provided tax incentives to farmers who used organic means of cultivation. Instead of penalizing farmers, who were already struggling as it was, they would be rewarded for using less chemicals on the land. The plan worked - and has worked in states where implemented. Positive reinforcement works time and time again.
</p>
<p>
2) There are currently no incentives for businesses to reduce emissions, just penalties. This in turn positions the legislation and the party supporting it as being hostile to business, even if they really aren't. The bill also has no guarantees that these businesses won't simply relocate or ship jobs overseas as a way to get around purchasing credits or paying penalties; there is no guarantee that they won't emit less if they relocate - but it is certain that they won't curb their emissions if they do.
</p>
<p>
3) The bill proposes to shift dependence from coal - a resource of which we have an abundance, says the U.S. Department of Energy, which is why the energy bills of the United States are so much lower compared to other parts of the world - to energies which are not yet capable of sustaining the market demand, explained Dan Kish, Senior Vice-President for Policy at the Institute for Energy Research, on my <a href="http://www.danaradio.com" target="_blank">radio show</a> last week. It costs more to produce less energy with regards to win and solar. The mistake made by some against conservatives is that by stating this, we're speaking against wind and solar power which is factually incorrect. I would <b>love</b> to have various forms of energy. I would love to have a decreased dependence on foreign countries for oil, et al., I would <b>love</b> to create more jobs in the green industry- but not at the sake of denying scientific fact where energy is concerned. We are not yet at that point to make a major shift.
</p>
<p>
4) According to Kish, we have already cut emissions by 70-75% without this exponentially-increased governmental oversight. More can be done, sure, but we're working off the false premise that changes are not already underway. Instead of cracking down on companies and risking job losses with no environmental benefit, why not craft a bill to reward them for reductions? Kish and others have also noted that our newer coal plants burn incredibly cleaner than older plants; why not retrofit older plants and make them more efficent? The cost to do this would seem to be less than the proposed cost incurred by this legislation. <a href="http://www.heritage.org/Research/EnergyandEnvironment/tst062609a.cfm" target="_blank">Says Ben Lieberman</a>, Senior Policy Analyst for Energy and Environment in the Thomas A. Roe Institute for Economic Policy Studies at The Heritage Foundation:
</p>
<blockquote><p><i>For a household of four, energy costs go up $436 that year, and they eventually reach $1,241 in 2035 and average $829 annually over that span. Electricity costs go up 90 percent by 2035, gasoline by 58 percent, and natural gas by 55 percent by 2035. The cumulative higher energy costs for a family of four by then will be nearly $20,000.</i></p>
<p>
<i>But direct energy costs are only part of the consumer impact. Nearly everything goes up, since higher energy costs raise production costs. If you look at the total cost of Waxman-Markey, it works out to an average of $2,979 annually from 2012-2035 for a household of four. By 2035 alone, the total cost is over $4,600.</i></p>
</blockquote>
<p>Of course, by giving incentives to instead of penalizing businesses, the government would greatly reduce the billions its expected to rake in from this legislation to offset stimulus spending. 
</p><p>
5) I am open to all theories, so long as they are founded in fact and not politics, i.e. the <a href="http://cei.org/news-release/2009/06/25/cei-releases-global-warming-study-censored-epa" target="_blank">EPA report that was suppressed</a>. Such <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124657655235589119.html" target="_blank">controversy should not exist</a> when undertaking the biggest tax in American history based on the findings of such reports. <a href="http://soitgoesinshreveport.blogspot.com/2009/06/whats-in-waxman-markey-bill.html" target="_blank">Pat Austin, of So It Goes in Shreveport</a>, discusses the suppressed EPA report:
</p>
<blockquote><p><i>The fact that the EPA suppressed a 98 page report by EPA senior research analyst Alan Carlin, <a href="http://www.rightpundits.com/?p=4184">some assume</a> under pressure by the Obama administration, that draws serious questions about climate change.</i></p></blockquote>
<p>6) I do not want elected officials - from EITHER party - who would stand to benefit from the passage of this or any legislation involved with getting it to a vote, i.e. <a href="http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/blogs/beltway-confidential/Pelosi-will-profit-from-Obama-Waxman-Markety-cap-and-trade-energy-bill-49034421.html" target="_blank">Nancy Pelosi</a> and <a href="http://www.bizjournals.com/stlouis/stories/2008/01/14/focus20.html" target="_blank">Missouri Rep. Russ Carnahan</a>.</p>
<p>
7) The estimated job loss as a result of cap-and-trade is <a href="http://blog.heritage.org/2009/06/25/waxman-markey-cap-and-trade%E2%80%99s-biggest-losers-machinery/" target="_blank">projected at 81,000 machinery jobs alone; by 2035 there will be 263,000 fewer machinery jobs</a>. That's just in that particular industry. The ratio of jobs created with Waxman - Markey is grossly disproportionate to the amount of jobs which will be lost. It's analogous to saying that we need another hurricane to roar through the Florida panhandle in order to create some construction jobs. Well, sure, we'll have some construction jobs, but what of the other sectors? They will be ravaged. For further insight, listen to <a href="http://www.clubforgrowth.org/2009/06/warren_buffett_slams_capandtra.php" target="_blank">Warren Buffett give testament to this</a>, or <a href="http://rebootcongress.blogspot.com/2009/06/small-business-protests-cap-and-tax.html" target="_blank">these Missouri small business owners whose jaws hit the floor when they realized what would happen to their energy bills under cap-and-trade</a>. Austin also notes:
</p>
<blockquote><p><i><a href="http://www.heritage.org/Research/EnergyandEnvironment/wm2450.cfm">The Heritage Foundation</a> predicts that this bill will &quot;destroy 1,145,000 jobs on average, with peak years seeing unemployment rise by over 2,479,000 jobs.&quot;</i></p></blockquote>
<p>What happenes when you increase the cost of doing business? The price<br />
of the product increases. Benefits are cut and jobs are lost as companies shift to reign in spiked costs. You discover that your dollar doesn't stretch as far as it once did. The effects are widespread.  </p>
<p>8) There's more in Waxman - Markey than most people realize. <a href="http://www.punditandpundette.com/2009/06/random-links.html" target="_blank">Pundit and Pundette examines</a> how this bill attempts to micromanage citizens via a post from <a href="http://soitgoesinshreveport.blogspot.com/2009/06/whats-in-waxman-markey-bill.html" target="_blank">Austin</a>:
</p>
<blockquote><p><i>And how will this bill affect you?  It has regulations on every single aspect of your daily life.  There are <a href="http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h2454/text?version=rh&amp;nid=t0:rh:1408">light bulb restrictions</a> (no more than 60 watts in your candelabra); in fact there's a whole section that deals with lamps. If you decide to build a new home, it must meet new and specific energy requirements. If you decide to sell your existing home, a federal inspector must <a href="http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h2454/text?version=rh&amp;nid=t0:rh:2317">inspect your home</a>, determine it's energy rating, and if your home is found to be unacceptable then you must retrofit and make changes before you will be able to sell.</i></p>
<p>
<i>There's an <a href="http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h2454/text?version=rh&amp;nid=t0:rh:2351">entire section</a> on planting trees including guidelines on &quot;scientific based measurements outlining the species and minimum distance required between trees planted...in addition to the minimum required distance to be maintained between such trees and building foundations, air conditioning units, driveways and walkways...&quot;. Do we really need the federal government telling us where we can plant trees?</i>
</p>
<p>
<i>There's a section dealing with <a href="http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h2454/text?version=rh&amp;nid=t0:rh:2488">outdoor lighting</a> in which you are given instructions about landscape lights, lights in your swimming pool, lights on artwork and other architectural lighting. The federal government is going to tell you what wattage that light can be and how many you can have. In some cases the lights must be capable of producing <a href="http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h2454/text?version=rh&amp;nid=t0:rh:2498">two different light levels</a> (100 and 60 watt).</i>
</p>
<p>
<i>There are new government <a href="http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h2454/text?version=rh&amp;nid=t0:rh:2608">regulations</a> for water dispensers, hot tubs and other appliances.  They're going to regulate <a href="http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h2454/text?version=rh&amp;nid=t0:rh:2841">water usage</a>, and regulate <a href="http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h2454/text?version=rh&amp;nid=t0:rh:2885">wood stoves</a>.  Any wood stove that does not meet regulation must be &quot;destroyed and recycled.&quot;</i></p>
</blockquote>
<p>9) This bill is one of the most important pieces of legislation in recent years because it's the biggest tax hike in the country and congress, breaking all promises, again, didn't even read it. A 300-page addendum was dumped on their desks the night before the vote. <a href="http://politics.upnorthmommy.com/2009/06/the-cap-and-trade-bill-the-house-passed-last-night-does-not-even-exist-yet/" target="_blank">Kim Priestap takes issue with how the bill isn't even technically a bill yet</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p><i>This is unbelievable. The House voted on a bill that is not even a bill yet. It’s still in the development stages.</i></p></blockquote>
<p>This is why I and so many are against the Waxman - Markey cap-and-trade bill. There is a better way to go about it that puts the environment and jobs first, politics second, all without further tanking our economy. The results are too important with which to trifle. <i>Whoever</i> does it? BRAVO.</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>New VH1 Series &quot;The Price of Beauty&quot; Features Jessica Simpson Still Looking Unreasonably Attractive</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/new-vh1-series-price-beauty-features-jessica-simpson-still-looking-unreasonably-attractive" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/new-vh1-series-price-beauty-features-jessica-simpson-still-looking-unreasonably-attractive</id>
    <published>2009-07-03T08:19:02-05:00</published>
    <updated>2009-07-03T08:43:46-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>sweetney</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Entertainment &amp; Culture" />
    <category term="Movies &amp; TV" />
    <category term="beauty" />
    <category term="Jessica Simpson" />
    <category term="price of beauty" />
    <category term="VH1" />
    <category term="Body Image" />
    <category term="Movies &amp; TV" />
    <category term="Reality TV" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I just need to get my frustration about this out at this point I think, so please humor me whilst I vent a spell. You see, the entire frame of reference and basic thinking behind Jessica Simpson's upcoming reality show on beauty and body image REALLY rubs me the wrong way. As in, MAKES ME WANT TO GOUGE MY OWN EYEBALLS OUT WITH A SPORK. Yes, *that* kind of 'rubs me the wrong way.' Please allow me to explain (and/or rant semi-coherently) (Don't say I didn't warn ya!) (Wheee!).</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I just need to get my frustration about this out at this point I think, so please humor me whilst I vent a spell. You see, the entire frame of reference and basic thinking behind Jessica Simpson's upcoming reality show on beauty and body image REALLY rubs me the wrong way. As in, MAKES ME WANT TO GOUGE MY OWN EYEBALLS OUT WITH A SPORK. Yes, *that* kind of 'rubs me the wrong way.' Please allow me to explain (and/or rant semi-coherently) (Don't say I didn't warn ya!) (Wheee!).</p>
<p><!--break-->
</p><p>The series, being produced by VH1, appears on the surface to be a solid concept for a show. Entitled <a href="http://blog.vh1.com/2009-06-22/jessica-simpsons-the-price-of-beauty-coming-soon-to-vh1/"><em>The Price Of Beauty</em></a>, the series follows Simpson -- best known for being, as luck would have it, <em>exceptionally pretty</em> -- to different parts of the world, where she'll explore native cultures' conceptions of beauty, their dietary fads, cosmetics use, etcetera. So it's sort of like <em>In Style</em> meets <em>National Geographic</em>. Or something. In any case, of the show Simpson herself has said (and one can't help but imagine this being uttered in her best <em>Miss America on-air interview response</em> voice): “I have always believed that beauty comes from within and confidence will always make a woman beautiful, but I know how much pressure some women put on themselves to look perfect." (PS: She believes the children are our future!) (PPS: WORLD PEACE!!) Well pardon my snark, but can I just say:<em> Riiiiight.</em></p>
<p>Because you see, here's where my brain begins to itch. Am I really the only person who finds the positioning of Jessica Simpson as someone whose life experience could, in a substantive way, inform a show purported to be about exposing and interrogating the demands put upon women all over the world to mirror their respective culture's conception of "beauty", oh, just a <em>little </em>troubling? Perhaps even a <em>smidge</em> discomforting?</p>
<p>Okay, wait -- let me back up a minute.</p>
<p>Here, near as I can tell, is the nexus of Jessica Simpson's credibility and/or credentials as someone who can speak to the matters at hand:</p>
<blockquote><p style="text-align: center;"><img  alt="Hosted by imgur.com" src="http://imgur.com/dcTS5.jpg" /></p>
</blockquote>
<p>This photo, and a few others taken of Simpson around the same time period (January, 2009), were plastered around the web by a number of gossip blogs early this year, positioned as evidence of some kind of mammoth, unseemly weight gain deserving of public shaming. Basically, put in the bluntest of terms, a few dumb internet dudes called her fat. Which, uhh, REALLY? I mean, I don't think I'm even vaguely going out on a limb in saying that not only is Jessica Simpson not 'fat' in this photo, but obviously solidly average to below average in weight. However brainless she might be, there's no denying she's freaking GORGEOUS -- even those hideous mom jeans and accompanying tacky gold belt can't mute her shimmering, golden-tressed beauty. Most women would freely donate a kidney to look something even vaguely like that. Heck, I might donate a kidney just to have HAIR that looked that good.</p>
<p>The truth is that, if anything, what those gossip blogs were demonstrating in attacking Simpson wasn't the demands our culture puts upon the women living in it to be beautiful, but rather the media's expectations of celebrities -- men and women alike -- whose primary talent and value is their ability to achieve and maintain an ideal of beauty that is for the most part unachievable, and one which no 'normal' people in our culture are actually held to. The ugly bottomline here is that it is Jessica's Simpson's job is to be insanely thin and absurdly pretty, because that is the value our culture and the entertainment industry has attributed to her, and she has most certainly played along with and to that. And so it follows that when she deviates even slightly from those expectations, the screams of "FAT!" resound, though she is anything but when seen through a lens other than "Hollywood Starlet." The pressure put upon Jessica Simpson to be skinny and pretty is clearly NOT the same pressure you and I experience as women within that same culture. I'm not saying that pressure isn't there -- it is, and we all know that because we've all experienced it to one degree or other. But our version of that pressure, as people whose actual livelihood is not dependent upon what size gown we can squeeze ourselves into before the Oscars, is of a wholly different caliber. After all, it isn't *OUR JOB* to wear Daisy Dukes (or BE Daisy Duke) and shoot a video like this one, that functions as the visual equivalent of a gentlemen's club lap dance:</p>
<blockquote><p><object width="400" height="255" id="uvp_fop" allowFullScreen="true"><br />
<param name="movie" value="http://d.yimg.com/m/up/fop/embedflv/swf/fop.swf" />
<param name="flashVars" value="id=v20812189&amp;eID=1301797&amp;lang=us&amp;enableFullScreen=0&amp;shareEnable=1" />
<param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><embed height="255" width="400" id="uvp_fop" allowFullScreen="true" src="http://d.yimg.com/m/up/fop/embedflv/swf/fop.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" flashvars="id=v20812189&amp;eID=1301797&amp;lang=us&amp;ympsc=4195329&amp;enableFullScreen=1&amp;shareEnable=1" /></embed></object></p></blockquote>
<p>Now don't get me wrong, I am in no way denying that there are cultural pressures on women in the United States to maintain themselves within a certain weight range, and to keep themselves coiffed, and good-smelling, and tweezed, and all of that. Those pressures are very real. But I have never in my life felt as though I was supposed to look like THAT. Nor have I ever felt that other people -- women or men -- expected me to. And sure, women who look like that do exist out in the real, non-Hollywood world, but they're obvious freakish exceptions to the rule. Out in Hollywood though? You'd better be a size negative 10, or you'll never work in that town again. And though I hate to say it, Jessica Simpson totally signed up for that, and is paid quite handsomely for it, whether you agree with her doing so in principle or not. And the truth is, she knows all of this. Want proof? After Simpson was lambasted on the gossip blogs for that photo -- ie, for what amounts to achieving something akin to a normal weight for an adult woman -- what do you think she did? Stand tall and proud and thumb her nose at her critics, retorting that "beauty comes from within and confidence will always make a woman beautiful," have a sammich, and buy some jeans with just a <em>leetle bit </em>more spandex in em'? Quite the contrary. She flew immediately into damage control mode, <a href="http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b103394_jessica_simpson_flaunts_her_daisy_dukes.html">rapidly dropped a bunch of weight</a>, and <a href="http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/?p=6885">staged a public "comeback" just a few short weeks later</a>, pointedly <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/08/jessica-simpson-back-in-d_n_172936.html">wearing her Daisy Dukes</a> for the first time in years to show all those meanies that she's, like, totally not a cow and is still really pretty and stuff!</p>
<p>Yeah, she really showed them, huh? Way to make a stand for <em>beauty from within</em> there, Jess. BY COMPLETELY CAVING IN TO EXTERNAL PRESSURE TO LOSE WEIGHT. My hero! [slaps forehead]</p>
<p>Couldn't they have at least gotten, oh I don't know, Ricki Lake or somebody? A woman who, when positioned as someone who can speak to American women on the matter of body image and beauty wouldn't make my eyes roll so far back in my head that I can actually SEE my brain shrieking <em>WTF - ARE THEY SERIOUS WITH THIS S%*T?</em> But maybe that's just me. <em>cough.</em></p>
<p>Is it just me? What do you make of all this? And will you watch?</p>
<p><strong>. . . . .<br />Tracey, aka <a href="http://www.sweetney.com/" title="Sweetney">Sweetney</a>, writes about Pop Culture &amp; Entertainment at <a href="http://www.mamapop.com/" title="MamaPop">MamaPop</a>, and concedes she is nowhere near as attractive as Ms. Simpson is, but takes comfort in her superior ability to differentiate between chicken and tuna. </strong></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Drinking Games</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/drinking-games" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/drinking-games</id>
    <published>2009-07-03T07:44:41-05:00</published>
    <updated>2009-07-03T07:46:03-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Melissa Ford</name>
    </author>
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I was never big into drinking games--I think my one foray into the world of activity-driven alcohol consumption was the game "I Never" and I only played it to hear what the boys had never yet gotten around to trying.  I like to enjoy my alcohol consumption; taste it.  My goal is not to imbibe as much as I can as quickly as I can, remembering always what comes next after you start with that goal.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I was never big into drinking games--I think my one foray into the world of activity-driven alcohol consumption was the game "I Never" and I only played it to hear what the boys had never yet gotten around to trying.  I like to enjoy my alcohol consumption; taste it.  My goal is not to imbibe as much as I can as quickly as I can, remembering always what comes next after you start with that goal.</p>
<p>But water consumption is completely different.  On days when its warm outside and I'm doing an activity, it's easy to consume a lot of water.  But when it's raining and we're all sort of sick of being in the house but too lazy to go elsewhere, a drinking game could be a nice distraction.  Not that the twins need to know what I'm doing, but it certainly helps to spice up the 897th round of Chutes and Ladders.</p>
<p>And to help you decide which game to play based on the amount of water you could possibly consume, I've rated the games from misting (1) to flooding (5) with drizzle (2), shower (3), and downpour (4) in between.</p>
<p>Possible games:</p>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-weight: bold;">Watching My Little Pony</span>: take a sip every time the ponies giggle (even Starsong's half-chuckle counts).  Ranging from a downpour to flood depending on the episode and whether they've wasted time with one of their vapid sing-alongs.</li>
<li><span style="font-weight: bold;">Candyland</span>: take a sip every time you get a blue card.  Chug it to the count of five every time you get a double card.  Good chance for a shower.</li>
<li><span style="font-weight: bold;">Questions</span>: carry a Nalgene bottle of water with you throughout the day.  Take a sip whenever your child asks you a question.  You can also use this game at the office for anyone swinging by to ask you a question.  Depending on the age of the child or the maturity of the coworker, this could range from misting to downpour.  In our house, it's a flood.  With a preschooler, this game could be the number one cause of <a href="http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=strange-but-true-drinking-too-much-water-can-kill">hyponatremia</a>.</li>
<li><span style="font-weight: bold;">Chutes and Ladders</span>: whenever you go up a ladder, drink to the count of the number of squares you've bypassed.  If anyone gets a chute, it gives you a pass the next time you get a ladder.  Definitely only drizzle to shower material if you stack the cards to give the kids a lot of chutes.</li>
<li><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pinches</span>: whenever one child bothers the other, take a sip.  Depending on how much together time we've had during the day, this can range from misting to flood.</li>
</ul>
<p>Your kids don't need to know how you're mentally bringing back your old days of beer pong, just that you're healthily drinking a lot of water while you set up the game board for the 467th time.</p>
<p><span style="font-style: italic;">Melissa is the author of the infertility and pregnancy loss blog, </span><a href="http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/" style="font-style: italic;">Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters</a><span style="font-style: italic;">.  She keeps </span><a href="http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/2006/06/whole-lot-of-blogging-brought-to-you.html" style="font-style: italic;">a categorized blogroll</a><span style="font-style: italic;"> of 1800 infertility blogs and writes the daily </span><a href="http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.com/" style="font-style: italic;">Lost and Found and Connections Abound</a><span style="font-style: italic;">, a news source for the infertility blogosphere</span>.  <span style="font-style: italic;">Her infertility book, </span><a href="http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/"><span>Navigating the Land of If</span></a><span style="font-style: italic;">, is currently on bookshelves (May, 2009)</span><span style="font-style: italic;">.</span></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Taught to Serve Man: Struggling with Relationship Compromise</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/taught-serve-man-struggling-relationship-compromise" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/taught-serve-man-struggling-relationship-compromise</id>
    <published>2009-07-03T02:18:52-05:00</published>
    <updated>2009-07-03T02:18:52-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Liz Rizzo</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Couples" />
    <category term="Sex &amp; Relationships" />
    <category term="communication" />
    <category term="compromise" />
    <category term="needs" />
    <category term="relationships" />
    <category term="Couples" />
    <category term="Living Together" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I was raised in a traditional household by a stay-at-home mom and a dad who expected his dinner on the table when he got home from work. There are, of course, many often-discussed pluses and minuses to "love, honor, and obey," and a boatload of passionate opinion to go with them, but much like Christina in Woody Allen's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0497465/">Vicky Cristina Barcelona</a>, the thing I was most certain of growing up was what I didn't want. I didn't want a traditional relationship like my parents'.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I was raised in a traditional household by a stay-at-home mom and a dad who expected his dinner on the table when he got home from work. There are, of course, many often-discussed pluses and minuses to "love, honor, and obey," and a boatload of passionate opinion to go with them, but much like Christina in Woody Allen's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0497465/">Vicky Cristina Barcelona</a>, the thing I was most certain of growing up was what I didn't want. I didn't want a traditional relationship like my parents'.</p>
<p>Still, I grew up immersed in it. Like many Gen-Xers, I was told about and could see another way, but at home the world worked the way it had for so long. I was taught to serve man. Serve him dinner, not <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Serve_Man_%28The_Twilight_Zone%29">serve him *for* dinner</a>.</p>
<p>I was so firm in my beliefs and personal resolutions, that I didn't even notice what I was picking up along the way despite myself.</p>
<p>The first glimmer came with my then fiance when I was asking him to do something he didn't want to do - I can't remember what and it really doesn't matter. The point was, he didn't want to compromise, and he said that I never compromised. I countered that I compromised all the time, and when I gave him examples, he said, Yeah, but you didn't really care about that stuff.</p>
<p>But, I did. I really did. Thing is, when I compromised, I was ever gracious. The way I'd been taught. I'm a master of making sure you're comfortable, and that you understand it's no worries. Because once I've decided to compromise, then that's how it is.</p>
<p>I suppose it was the first death knell of that relationship that often after that when I was compromising I would announce it clearly. It was absurd, but there it was. Being gracious was getting me nowhere.</p>
<p>Years later, I've become a more straightforward person than I was before. I shrugged off the lessons in passive aggression and manipulation - people who take care of themselves and have power over their lives don't need it. But the lesson that my needs come second in a relationship is something I've continued to struggle with. Because it's completely internalized. I do it without thinking - sometimes requiring me to backtrack or "change my mind."</p>
<p>Like I get off the phone and think, Wait a minute, that's not what I want. So I call back and change what I said before.</p>
<p>And that's just confusing to everyone. But I can't help it. Sometimes I just compromise what I want without thinking.</p>
<p>Or, then I fear it swings the other way. I've learned to and work to clearly express my needs, but then, both partners *do* need to compromise - I struggle to find the balance. I wonder about the things I do stand up for, and I worry about the future. How do two people who've lived alone come together and compromise on things like air conditioning and window shades? I want to believe it just happens, but it feels like the first time I saw mountains on my way to California from Florida - I couldn't imagine how we were going to be able to drive through them.</p>
<p>In my professional life, I've mastered the art of picking my battles. But everything has this added weight in a relationship. It's your personal life; it matters more. It effects how you live and how you act and suddenly you're living with things and doing things you'd never do if you were on your own. That scares the crap out of me.</p>
<p>I muddle forward and try my best to communicate clearly and find the balance. I hope I'm figuring it out as I go, but it's very challenging. Does anyone else struggle with this?</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>Here's some pretty serious posts from women struggling with various relationship issues:</p>
<p>AngelaMae ask <a href="http://angelamae-internationalteacher.blogspot.com/2009/06/when-do-you-know.html">When Do You Know?</a> that it's time to get married.</p>
<p>rookieblogger has been <a href="http://rookieblogger-randomthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/06/bitten-in-love.html">Bitten in Love</a>, unrequited.</p>
<p>Tracey writes <a href="http://traceysthoughtsuncensored.blogspot.com/2009/06/i-walk-line.html">I walk the line...</a> to divorce or not to divorce?</p>
<p>~</p>
<p><i>Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at <a href="everydaygoddess.typepad.com/">Everyday Goddess</a>.</i></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Fashion Week in Review | Five Beauty Must-Haves for Summer</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/fashion-week-review-five-beauty-must-haves-summer" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/fashion-week-review-five-beauty-must-haves-summer</id>
    <published>2009-07-03T02:00:44-05:00</published>
    <updated>2009-07-02T22:29:24-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>trishaokubo</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Entertainment &amp; Culture" />
    <category term="Fashion" />
    <category term="Fashion" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p><b>What's happening this week in the world of fashion? </b> We have celebrity style from Anne Hathaway, five beauty must-haves to keep you pretty this summer, and a zippy summer trend.  Plus, how to wear a miniskirt in style!</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p><b>What's happening this week in the world of fashion? </b> We have celebrity style from Anne Hathaway, five beauty must-haves to keep you pretty this summer, and a zippy summer trend.  Plus, how to wear a miniskirt in style!</p>
<p><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2431/3683653472_7363c1e244.jpg" align="left" hspace="15" /><a href="http://fashiontribes.typepad.com/fashion/2009/06/miss-obedient-sons-dontheres-hutson-new-york.html"></a><a href="http://fashiontribes.typepad.com/fashion/2009/07/how-to-wear-bright-denim-jeans.html">Fashiontribes</a> shows you how to wear bright denim jeans. (Yes, it can be done!)</p>
<p><a href="http://secondcitystyle.typepad.com/second_city_style/2009/07/trends-zip-it.html">Second City Style</a> calls out a hot new summer trend: zipper detailing.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.coutureinthecity.com/2009/07/02/anne-hathaway-in-marchesa-how-you-can-steal-this-look/">Couture in the City</a> has the scoop on how to steal Anne Hathaway's Marchesa gown look for a fraction of the price.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.fabsugar.com/3419372">Fabsugar</a> gives us the scoop on Project Runway winner Leanne Marshall's beautiful, eco-friendly collection for Bluefly.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.thebudgetfashionista.com/archive/best-summer-fragrance/">The Budget Fashionista</a> asks about your favorite summer fragrance.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.shefinds.com/top-five-summer-beauty-musts-to-keep-you-pretty-in-the-heaty-musts-to-keep-you-pretty-in-the-heat/">SheFinds</a> has beauty must-haves to keep you pretty in the heat.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.theitlists.com/2009/06/29/computer-coture/">The It Lists</a> has couture for your computer in the form of a Vivienne Tam designed, limited edition laptop.</p>
<p>And over at <a href="http://www.omiru.com/index.php/2009/06/25/how-to-wear-a-miniskirt/">Omiru: Style for All</a>, we have a guide to how to wear a miniskirt.<br /><i><br />Photo courtesy of Fabsugar.</i></p>
<p></p><i>Contributing Editor Trisha Okubo also writes at <a href="http://www.omiru.com/">Omiru: Style for All</a>, an award winning fashion blog about real style for real people.</i>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
</feed>
