- Share This Post
- submit
- 2
-
Sparkle (1)
I was due to give birth to my son when my daughter Ava was 2 1/2 years old. Since my husband and I were planning a home birth, we felt it was important to discuss with Ava how the baby would be born. Because she would be within earshot if not in the room when Julian was born, I wanted her to know what she may see as well as hear.
One of the ways I prepared Ava for what would happen was by reading "Welcome With Love," a beautiful children’s book about natural childbirth. We also watched some childbirth videos (natural and water births) together, including “Giving Birth: Challenges and Choices” by Suzanne Arms. I made sure to explain what was going on and reassure her that although the mommy might make some loud or funny noises, even yell, she was OK. In "Welcome With Love," the older brother speaks of his mother's noises during labor but he's not afraid because she had told him beforehand that although she "might make a lot of noise," he mustn't worry because "that's what it's like when babies are being born" and that she'll feel better if she yells and screams.
I kept things fairly simple, but because she was likely going to be present, told her what I felt she needed to know to feel safe and secure during Julian's birth. It worked well for us. Ava was never scared even though mommy made some very loud noises while giving birth to her brother.
I realized the other day that Julian is now older than Ava was at the time he was born, but because I am not pregnant (and have no plans to become so) and the subject hasn't come up, he has no idea how babies are born. I will probably remedy that soon by reading Welcome With Love to him and another book I recently received to review called We're Having a Homebirth!
A friend (who is expecting) recently pondered on Facebook how she will explain childbirth to her 5- and 3-year-old daughters, and I began to wonder how others handle the subject.
I came across a discussion on a BabyCenter message board where the original poster posed the question How do you explain childbirth to a child? Here are some of the responses:
- One person admitted that she has been "skirting around this issue" even with her 9-year-old. She said she has told her most of the details, but doesn't "want to freak her out too much or gross her out for that matter."
- Another said, "I tried to skirt the question by answering...that the doctor takes the baby out."
- Another said, "I have a child psychology book called The Magic Years. They say to be truthful, but give as few details as necessary."
- Yet another said, "I found it was quite easy to explain things using the correct words at a young age. And I'd rather explain it while my kids aren't embarrassed by it and will ask questions instead of having a 10-year-old blush or roll her eyes and not wanting to ask questions about things she doesn't understand."
- From another, "better he hears it from me than his peers at school."
After I browsed the 'net, I asked my favorite audience (Twitter) and got some more answers.
Many feel that honesty is the best policy.
@OneFallDay said: If my 7-year-old asks, I answer. I've always felt if they are old enough to ask they deserve an honest answer.
Jackie from Belen Echandia said, "[I] don't have personal experience. But would like to think I'd tell the truth in a beautiful, non-frightening way."
Penny from Walking Upside Down said, "[I] told mine they came out of a hole between my legs. :) Honesty is the best policy. Did not show them said hole tho'. ;)"
Jessica from Peek a blog said, "I spoke to the doctor about what to say. We told my 3-year-old that mommies have a special place where babies come out when ready. Just enough info with more details on an as-needed basis, but totally truth."
Cate Nelson said, "I told my then-2.5-year-old that baby was going to come out of Mama's yoni. (our term for it) I also told him his own birth story, bit of the pain, but how it helped Mama push him out. He loved his (natural) birth story!"
Others think along with being honest, it's important to use
