Baby On Booby, To Go
by Her Bad Mother

When I first started breastfeeding my first child, I was totally anxious about nursing in public. Was anyone looking? Was anyone freaked out by my boob? I sought out nursing rooms wherever I could, until it became clear that if I was to move about in the world with my child and not spend all of my time in stuffy nursing rooms or - horror - washroom stalls, I would have to chill out and just bare the booby. And so I did. And it was, mostly, fine.

There was always somebody, somewhere, who would give me the LOOK: disapproving, or disbelieving (as in OMG I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT WOMAN IS EXPOSING HER TITS), or both. I learned how to ignore the LOOK, but I never stopped wishing that somebody would, please, stick up a big sign saying PUBLIC BREASTFEEDING IS THIS WOMAN'S HUMAN RIGHT (legally protected in the province of Ontario, Canada, as it happens.)

Guess what? I finally got my wish.

According to the National Post: the city (of Toronto) yesterday launched a new campaign to encourage public breastfeeding, complete with information packages mailed to the city's 6,100 restaurants and a window decal available in 20 different languages.

"Women who are breastfeeding shouldn't have to fight for their rights," Dr. David McKeown (the city's Medical Officer of Health) said from Bay Street's Commensal Vegetarian Restaurant, the first restaurant to join the city registry.

"Restaurants and other public places should be the kind of places that welcome women who are breastfeeding and support their rights, as well as the opportunity for their children to have the healthiest start in life."

This is great news. Mostly. I think that it is wonderful, really, that Toronto is going out of its way to encourage breastfeeding. And I think that educating restaurant owners and encouraging them to do their part is a great place to start. But here's my concern: the window decals - and the program as a whole - are optional. Restaurants don't have to participate. Which, fine, free country blah blah blah - but might this not set up certain assumptions about public breastfeeding, such as the idea that breastfeeding is only acceptable where the relevant decals/signs are posted?

This might be nitpicking, I know, but still: consider that many people simply don't know what the letter of the law (or the human rights charter) is, concerning breastfeeding, in their community. When the League of Maternal Justice posted their YouTube protest to Bill Mayer and Facebook (over the insensitivity of both to nursing mothers) last year, many of the comments at the YouTube page were horribly insistent about the 'fact' that citizens have a right to not be exposed to breastfeeding in public. The presence of signs or decals in some restaurants giving 'permission' to mothers to nurse might contribute to a public assumption that in the absence of such 'permission,' nursing is not acceptable (as is the case in Britain, where it has been reported that 1 in 4 restaurants actually bans breastfeeding.)

Again, I think that this program is great. But I think that it should be supplemented by a more expansive and more aggressive public education program that gets the message - that breastfeeding is natural and good and NOT OBSCENE, that breastfeeding builds healthier children and so healthier citizens, that breastfeedign is a RIGHT - out more broadly and more effectively. So that nursing moms don't need to look for a decal or signage that gives them 'permission' to nurse.

In the meantime, I'm going to continue nursing wherever the hell I please.

 

Submitted by Her Bad Mother (view blog) on Wed, 06/25/2008 - 12:52

Comments

 

How did it happen?

"Citizens have a right to not be exposed to breastfeeding in public."

It makes me sad that so many people consider breastfeeding as gross or obscene. Not sure how exactly our society got to this place, but it needs to be pulled out of it.

So I agree: a public education campaign is much needed at this point.  

It’s been several years since I finished nursing my children, but the memories of nursing in public, of making a HUGE effort to cover myself, and still getting the occasional dirty look, are with me and are highly unpleasant memories.

Vered DeLeeuw

http://momgrind.com/

Submitted by Vered on Wed, 06/25/2008 - 11:05
 

They started out FUNCTIONAL!

I nervously nursed my first child, casually nursed my second and by my third I was like a drunken girls gone wild video.  But I do remember being terribly self conscious, feeling like everyone was looking at the lady with her boob hanging out in the food court of the mall.  But, in all seriousness, when my baby cried, when he was hungry, everyone else could just BITE ME!  

 When did we forget, in the grand scheme of media, that breasts are not merely ornamental objects, they are not funbags of joy, as my husband calls them.  They are meant to nurse our young, to provide the God given milk that is best for them and their bodies.

If I am nice enough to use a blanket to keep my nipples from poking your eye out, be kind enough to not bother me with your judgement that I am doing something "dirty" in public.  

Anissa Mayhew

www.hope4peyton.org 

Submitted by AnissaMayhew on Wed, 06/25/2008 - 11:33
 

Breasts have many roles

I'm not disagreeing with you at all that breasts are meant to feed babies, but sometimes I think we should honor all the great things breasts do. They are there for sexual pleasure, when a woman decides that she wants them touched. They also are aesthetically pleasing. And, of course, when a woman has a baby, they are there for feeding. I just like to honor the whole thing, especially because calling out one of their functions as more valuable than the rest sort of indicates that those of us who aren't breastfeeding (for whatever reason, including that we don't have babies) don't have boobs that count. And I think boobs are too useful for that. :)

But definitely, feed away when the baby is hungry! That is one of the great things that boobs are there for.

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants

Submitted by Suzanne Reisman on Wed, 06/25/2008 - 13:36
 

When baby is hungry and breast is full,
nothing else matters.

It never ever even DAWNED on me when breastfeeding my children that I could be offending someone. Consider that very self-involved of me but I guess it just didn't make sense. My baby was hungry and needed to be fed. We were all babies, we all got fed (breast or bottle, whatever) so doesn't logic follow that it wouldn't be a big deal if another being - one like YOU used to be - is being fed? Luckily, I was never hassled. Maybe b/c I had that look on my face like "What? Is my zipper down?" never thinking the issue was my boob being out. Or more often it was probably the look of "I am running on 2 hours total sleep, I am hugely engorged, this baby is starving and stressed and not quite latched on - DON'T CROSS ME." And they didn't, for their own safety. I really could care less about offending anyone, I was trying to nourish a life, you know?

A great point about actually having to state permission seems like it was something that wasn't ever there in the first place. Go Toronto with the best intentions but I can't believe we need a sign. I sure as hell didn't. 

Caroline

http://morningsidemom.wordpress.com/

Submitted by TCMom on Wed, 06/25/2008 - 13:58
 

public nursing

I wonder if they have these discussions so much in other parts of the world (forgive me for lumping Canada in with the US here) but this issue seems so goofy to me.  It's perfectly legal to lie topless on the beaches (and streets!) of New York, yet people get squeamish over the barely exposed nipple of a nursing mother??

I loved nursing so much that it's practically incentive for me to have another child.  I nursed whenever and wherever I wanted.  How people confuse this with exhibitionism or obscenity is beyond me.  A hold over from our Puritan past perhaps? Moms who nurse in public are usually quite discreet.  They typically cover up as much as possible without smothering the poor baby and tend not to overtly flash their nipples at the world.  I don't remember any nasty looks or comments from my public nursing.  But if rude on-lookers take issue I would just tell them not to look.  Or how about "Sorry - I only have enough for one!"

In most states as far as I know, the law is on your side.  My advice to those more timid with public nursing - find a quieter place when possible but do what makes you feel comfortable.

Submitted by MiriamAnton on Wed, 06/25/2008 - 15:05
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