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Hi everyone,

Earlier this month, I was in my local Safeway's produce aisle rummaging for organic yams, when the most pregnant-looking woman I have ever seen wafted by in the direction of the apples.

Duck honey, I thought. Here they come.

And my fellow shoppers did not disappoint: Place any pregnant woman in any produce aisle in any American grocery, and I swear to you, people will gather to lay hands on her. And I'm not just talking about palms outstretched to "feel the baby." I'm talking about the dreaded question, "Are you going to have more?"

Twinge.

Twelve years ago, when I was expecting my son, I absolutely loved being pregnant. But I would have rather have had people lift up my shirt over my head than probe my mind. My marriage was falling apart, and I didn't know whether I could be a good mother to one baby, much less the five I'd secretly hoped for, stories I didn't want to share with the blue-haired gestapo interrogating me in the collard greens. After my son was born, and it became just us two, the insistent drumbeat of questions about the size of my family from total strangers continued, which felt a lot like being asked to strip down to my big-girl pants in full view of the check-out aisle.

Which is why I absolutely love Rita Arens' post this week -- the conversation she has started makes me wish for the thirty-seven-zillionth time that today's crew of incredible parenting bloggers were available to me then. Here I could have gone for a little kitchen-counter counsel from my homegirls (and boys):

You Want to Do This AGAIN?

Lately there seems to be talk of more babies in the blogosphere. Alice Bradley of Finslippy, Heather Armstrong of Dooce, and Amy Corbett Storch of Amalah are all trying. Liz Gumbinner of Mom-101, Kristen Chase of Motherhood Uncensored and Cagey of Rancid Raves all have babies at home. (There are more, but for the purposes of my poor, aching fingers, I’m leaving it at that.) My point is: Is everyone doing it?

I have gone back and forth so many times on whether or not to have another child. I see the pros and cons. I hear people wax on..."

Joining Rita are some of the best and most diverse comments I have ever read -- the conversation missing in MY produce aisle, I can tell you -- from every possible perspective:

Grace Davis: "Protecting myself first with a shield made of organic materials..." More

alyssaroyse: "We love our one and only, but...." More

dms: "The bottom line: Never ever comment about the number of children one has or has not - you never know what they have gone through or how life has played out for them..." More

Ahhhh, relief! Had I read these women in the '90s, I would have felt much less alone. You can bet I would have used SJ's snappy retort too.

Not that the questions have stopped: But these days my favorite interrogator is 11 years old, has my sister's eyes, and just last week asked, "Mom, have you ever thought that we should adopt someone who doesn't have a family?"

Twinge.

I don't know the answer. But I do know after reading Rita's post that this question is coming from one of the very few people who has the right to ask.

What do you think? Please, link any related blog you have in the comments on this newsletter or join the conversation at Rita's post.

Have a great week.

Best,
Lisa

Lisa Stone is a BlogHer co-founder. Her personal blog is Surfette. You can subscribe to all of BlogHer's newsletters here.