Bachelor Sean:Episode 3 Recap

 

So finally after patiently waiting for approximately 17,280 minutes we are finally one episode closer to knowing who will be Sean's temporary fiancee!
 Date One- Okay, we are literally only 30 seconds into the episode and Chris Harrison has already pulled out a date card. The first date goes to Lesley, the lady from Washington.

 Now at the :45 second mark we are already at Sean and Lesley's date where he explains how his dad broke a World Record for the longest time driving in between states, or something along those lines..(Sorry, got lost in Sean's eyes!) Ok, so now we're at the :47 second mark and Chris Harrison has already gotten so jealous of Lesley stealing his time with Sean that he pops in and announces that they will be breaking their own World Record for the longest on-screen kiss (the current record was 3 minutes and 15 seconds)..Now of course, in true Bachelor fashion this will take place in front of a large crowd of children! Here at the 1:45 min mark of the date/kiss  I am trying to strangle myself with my own hair extensions because this is without a doubt the most uncomfortable thing I've ever watched.
Now, it wouldn't be a complete awkward make out session without, of course, the obligatory awkward post-makeout conversation. Cue Sean and Lesley awkwardly connecting and sharing feelings over alcohol.
Have no fear, the second date card is here....
 
Group Date- According to the next handwritten date card from Chris Harrison this date to the beach goes to Kacie B., Robyn, Leslie H., Kristy, Catherine, Desiree, Taryn, Amanda, Lindsay, Daniella, Jackie, and Tierra. The beach? Guess Sean's abs will be on the group date as well. Seriously these poor girls haven't even gotten to throw the volleyball before the jealous lover that is Chris Harrison rears his head. He tells the girls that in order to stay on the date they must be on the winning volleyball team. Because duh, everyone knows that love gives you superhuman Lance Armstrong strength. 
Once again I got distracted by Sean's crystal blue eyes and I can't remember the winning girls names. All I know is Tierra lost and Kacie B. won...Oh and Kristy lost and she's crying too.
On the winning group date, Amanda talks about what a "fun, airy" wife she'll be once they get married (her words, not mine). Kacie B. has obviously not learned anything from her past season because she goes and tells Sean that Amanda and Desiree are bad news. Lindsay gets the rose on this date and Kacie starts to drink some more.

Date Three- But you know who obviously has learned something from past Bachelor seasons? Tierra. Tierra throws herself falls down the stairs right as Sean is about to pick up Ashley for their date. What a coincidence! Tierra gets a little one-on-one time with Sean while Ashley waits in the kitchen for her date. (Wait, did I accidentally turn on an episode of Sister Wives?) On a more touching note, Sean and Ashley take two other girls with illnesses along on the date to Six Flags, where they end the date with the Eli Young Band playing a private concert for them. After the kiddos leave Ashley tells Sean later on the date she was abused as a foster child and Sean gives her a rose.

Cocktail Party- First off, Sean wants to reassure Sarah that he thinks about her when he's not around so he brings her a limo..A LIMO WITH HER VERY OWN TINY DOG INSIDE!!!!! I'm in love!! Desiree (Katie Holmes) was in the midst of a make out with Sean when the female Chris Harrison, Tierra, shows up. Kacie tries to steal some time with Sean to explain her drunk antics but she doesn't get a chance because one of the sober girls interrupts her. 

Rose Ceremony- Before Sean can even start passing out roses he asks Kacie to step outside so he can one-on-one dump her for being crazy. 
Eliminated: Taryn and Kristy.





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