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Back-to-school shopping: the tween- and teen-aged years

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When your kids are in pre-school and the early elementary years, you can feel pretty confident that they'll like and wear what you buy for them. After all, you're Mommy. You can do no wrong. But once your kids reach the tween- and teen-aged years, back-to-school shopping is a whole new experience. Now you're Mom, not Mommy. And you can't do anything right.

Near misses, unexpected growth spurts, and the vagaries of teenaged fashion sense have conspired to lower my expectations of myself. Now, my goal is to waste the bare minumim of money. And since I only have one son and one daughter, I polled my friends for advice. Here's our collective wisdom for saving money on back-to-school shopping:

1. Accept any and all hand-me-downs. If you have a generous friend with older children and great taste, you want her to think of you every time she has outgrown clothes to get rid of. Don't be picky! My son refuses to wear shorts and polo shirts, and when my friend Liz unloads her son's clothes on me, she gives me armloads of them. I take them because I don't want to look churlish. And a free navy blue blazer is worth a trip to a charity drop-off.

2. If your kids balk at wearing hand-me-downs, tell them it's better for the
environment.
Tell them mother-of-four Susie Sunshine says "gently used hand-me-downs are environmentally friendly and the very best way to recycle."

3. Do a complete inventory, right down to underwear and socks. As Susie Sunshine puts it:

When taking inventory make sure to have the kid actually TRY ON stuff
to make sure it fits. Don't make the mistake of making this a kid-only
task, or you'll run the danger of not noticing your kid's dress pants are five inches too short until you're AT the wedding ceremony of a friend. (In his defense, the pants DID fit in the waist--he just failed feel the breeze on his ankles and lower calf.)

4. Just say no to unnecessary purchases. More words of wisdom
from Susie Sunshine: "If it ain't broke, don't offer to replace it.  Wash and air out that still-functional backpack! Scrub and bleach the lunchbox!"

5. Bide your time. Despite the flurry of ads, you don't need to go crazy buying new stuff right away. It's not as though the weather changes on the first day of school. They can still wear their summer clothes. 

6. Before you spend a penny, find out what the other kids are wearing. A lot of teen fashion is local, so websites and magazines are only so useful. You don't want to waste money buying stuff that's not-quite-right. Use whatever means possible to find out what's in style for your kids. Remember, this is the age of conformity. Your kids are going to want what the other kids have.

7. Set a budget. Tell your kids what it is, and stick to it. Unless they're living under a rock, your kids realize that there's a recession. Setting a budget doesn't just save you money, it gives you valuable tools for negotiating. And it teaches your children an important lesson. My daughter knows if she wants a new Vera Bradley bookbag, she'll have to
settle for Gap jeans.

8. Spring for one one trendy/cool brand name item. Susie Sunshine put it best: "Being raised in a Wrangler household during the designer jean '80's gave me a lifelong appreciation on how much easier a kid's social life can be with
just one or two 'cool' items in their possession."

9. Avoid taking your kids shopping with you. Blackbird of Say La Vee claims "we'd never survive actual browsing in stores." She likes to sit down with her laptop and her son to browse websites like Old Navy and Abercrombie. They figure out what his favorite looks are and order basics on line. They also order a couple of shirts from "those ironic tee-shirt web sites." Only after that's done do they visit a brick-and-mortar store.

Wendy of Martha MacGyver will shop with her son for tee-shirts and hoodies, but refuses to take her daughter shopping:

She thinks she's 18.  So do all the stores, judging by the hoochie
clothes they're trying to get my kid to wear.  To avoid this I go
shopping and buy a bunch of stuff, come home, and we shop among the
things I find acceptable.  I return the no's.  I just can't hack the
"gimmes" when we go out together.  I do shoes the same way with her.

10. Thrift shops can be incredible.

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HeatherRayne 5 pts

I JUST wrote a blog similar to this toady. Although, you were much nicer about it...more helpful too. I agree with not taking them with you and many times, I just shop online and they get what they get. However, mine are just 5 and 10 right now.
Good post!! Thanks!!!

Visit Heather Rayne's Blog - http://heatherrayne.wordpress.com

dancingfool15 5 pts

i totally agree with all of these EXCEPT for number 9. if you dont plan on bringing your teen with you shopping, you can plan on doing a lot of returns and definetly an unhappy child. im not saying to spoil them, but keep in mind appearance does have an effect on their self-esteem. you dont want your teen going to school in clothes they hate and having that take a blow on their confidence. try and find a happy medium. happy shopping!

midnightbliss 5 pts

helpful and useful information, not only for shopping for your teens but also in general.

MyShape 5 pts

 Although I don't have teenagers...yet... I think that a lot of these tips, like searching ebay and online retailers for cheaper prices can apply to all aspects of shopping.  I really found the tips helpful for my life NOW, so I can only imagine how helpful they'll be when I actually HAVE teenagers.  Thanks!

MyShape- a better way to shop for looks that fit & flatter you!

www.myshape.com ( http://www.myshape.com )

Middle Aged Woman 5 pts

Every year, the sixth graders that I teach dress alike, the girls anyway. The boys are much more adventurous. The years I wear out quickly seem to be the Hollister/Abercrombie intensive years.

blackbird 5 pts

I always hit up the thrift shops for concert clothes - and don't forget places like Payless for formal footwear. My guys need black dress shoes three times a year and I've always done well at Target/Walmart/Payless.