- Share This Post
- Pin It
- 16
-
Sparkle (0)
I have been a stay at home mom for 14 years. Even now when I am asked what I do, I nearly choke out, "I am a freelance writer and author" because I have always been a stay at home mom. No paychecks for me for over a decade. Though the paychecks are now coming in regularly, it still feels strange to think of myself as having a job in addition to motherhood. Let me tell you something right up front. It is hard to make the adjustment. It can be tough to change your perception when you have identified yourself in a particular way for so many years. Personally, I wanted to know I was not the only woman who has entered the work force after many years at home who felt a bit discombobulated.
Kelly Curtis of Pass the Torch spoke about her first interview after so many years.
It had been ten years since my last interview.
Ten years since I’d updated my resume.
Ten years since I had to sell my qualifications to a potential employer
.
As Kelly was working through trying to find just the right outfit to make that ultimate "You want to hire me" statement, she found inspiration and brilliance in the words of her son.
And my wise-beyond-his-years, eight-year-old son, said, “Don’t worry about dressing pretty. You should dress smart.”
Sometimes it is the youngest of the group that are helping us when we need that extra push to get out there and have that confidence.
But what about when we need more. Equals encouraging us. Women who have been there and done that?
That is when I found, Work It, Mom! As I dug deeper into the site, I found articles that I could relate to. Articles that I could have written and certainly understood.
Take for instance this article by Jordan Sadler to her son's PTA. Here is a portion that really struck a nerve with me:
I know that in order for it to succeed we need as much parent involvement and support as possible. I mean, really! I'm all about kids and learning, it's what I do all day, whether I'm at home or at work. I feel that I have a responsibility to be there, participating. And yet. Most meetings are held at 9:30 AM on a weekday when I work...
I think the reality is that I cannot handle one more responsibility without throwing our entire universe into chaos over here. Honestly. If I went, I'd sign up to help with something, and I cannot imagine how I would add it to the workload I already have.
How many times have I felt that way? Too many now that I am working again. And to sum it up in the most perfect way, she answers those feelings of guilt with the most perfect reply:
PTA... I delete about 5 emails from you a week, unable to fulfill your requests for help. I cringe with the guilt of it every time. But on my good days, I bear in mind that if your child were autistic and you needed a good therapist, you would be so grateful that I was at work, you wouldn't mind not seeing me at your meetings.
Being free to volunteer at the drop of a hat was something I had become used to. Now? Now I have to schedule it and at times even say no. That dreaded no. I used to feel guilty, but now I realize that if I do not follow my dreams and my dream jobs, I am not teaching my children how to be the best they can possibly be.
I used to be so busy at the school and with playdates and always doing whatever the kids needed. I want to be a hands on mom to my kids. I also want them to see that I am following my heart and my passion. Being involved and it's constant battle with working. It is a juggling act, but it is doable. How? By the sheer determination we as women have to be the best we can--working at home, outside the home or in the home.
Even when you are doing what you need to do or want to do, it can still come with guilt. Florinda Pendley Vasquez recently wrote about her feelings as her work load
