Bad Behavior Justified By Gender?
By momraisingboys on May 10, 2010
I have a bone to pick with parents of boys who make poor excuses for their son’s bad behavior. I think it’s a cop-out and that’s pathetic. I can’t tell you how often I encounter parents who seem to justify their child’s poor behavior merely due to the fact that their child is a boy. What kind of lame excuse is that?
Here’s an example: You’re at a park with a friend and her little boy throws a rock at your child, or pushes or takes away a toy. Rather than discipline her son, the parent of the child says, “Now Joey, don’t do that. Mommy doesn’t want you to hurt that little boy. Be nice” Then she turns to you and says, “Boys are so wild. My son has a lot of energy. I guess there’s not much you can do about that.” Huh? Are you kidding me? So you mean to tell me that it’s ok that boys are disrespectful, irresponsible and rude? And if you had a daughter, would that those be the adjectives you would want to describe your future son-in-law?
Why prêt ell, are you raising your child void of instilling valuable lessons in personal responsibility? Do you think he will suddenly grow up and learn acceptable behavior? How if you’re making excuses that his gender is the reason for his impulses.
Want to know what I think? I think you’re lazy.
It’s much more difficult to parent your child than it is to just let things go thinking that bad behaviors will miraculously fade into never, never land. Yes, some behaviors are phases. However, if actions are not taken by the parent to use even bad situations as teaching opportunities, NEWS ALERT: the problems will continue and possibly worsen.
Taking a rather annoying, yet reasonably benign behavior such as whining. A kid whines, gets your attention, and the continued whining causes a parent to give in to whatever the child was screaming about. What did the child learn? He learned that next time the way to get what he wants, he can whine enough so you’ll give in.
Going back to the park scenario, would it be better to pull the child aside, perhaps put him in time out or remove a toy or even leave the park so that he can learn that bad behaviors have consequences? Sure, it may not be the easiest option. The kid might scream or you might not want to leave the conversation with a friend, but what’s best for the child may not always be best for the parent.
Parenting is serious business and it’s hard! Bad behavior has nothing to do with gender. Boys are not innately obnoxious hitting and kicking machines. They certainly have more energy, but I’ve observed plenty of the same behaviors demonstrated by girls. Stop blaming the real cause. Yourself. Take the time to parent your child now or you’ll be sorry when the behaviors you ignored rear their ugly head in as your child gets older…when it’ll be harder to change – and eventually too late. Your child is not the boss, you are.
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