Bad Fashion Choices Is making your one year old child wear a shirt that says “My Mom is HOT and single” a form of child abuse?  Doesn’t this just scream “Where the hell is my baby momma?  Is she out cheatin on me again?

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  She’s got Jr. advertising her hotness and singleness and that isn’t right!”   Calm down, first of all your baby momma isn’t Hot and we really don’t care if she’s single.  What I do care about is why oh why is that baby wearing that shirt?  Another one I saw was on a pregnant woman that said “You told me you had the MUMPS” now I have to admit that is kind of funny but still… Do we really want to know that you’re a “Bad Girl”?  Oh and another thing I don’t really want to know that your ass is Juicy.  I know that is the brand name of your sweat pants but I really don’t care it just looks like your advertising your latest bout of diarrhea.  If you have a problem kindly make your way to the pharmacy and procure yourself a heaping helping dose of Pepto-Bismol.    Oh but wait this bad fashion is not wasted on the young.  Oh no, we of middle age make equally bad choices.  I saw a woman my age walking around in a pair of Capri pants and Ugg boots.  Now which is it?  Is it cold enough to wear Uggs or is it warm enough to wear Capri pants?  Or what about those who insist on wearing flip flops and a parka?  I totally understand all about the personal summers aka hot flashes but still have a little respect for yourself.  Then there are those middle age women who insist on shopping in the little girls department of Squalmart and end up wearing T-shirts that are way too tight and way too short with the extra low cut muffin top pubic hair showing jeans.  Do these women NOT own a mirror?   Oh you older women, yeah Granny I’m talking to you, let’s talk about those knee highs.  Knee high hose were made to wear under trousers not with a skirt or shorts or your peddle pushers so STOP IT!  If you are wearing TEDS because you have poor circulation that is totally understandable and you have a pass otherwise watch out for the fashion police.  Also just because you are 80 does not mean you can revert back to dressing like a toddler.  Let me let you in on a secret.  Your daughter-in-law bought you that sweatshirt with the fuzzy bunny on it not because she knew you like bunnies.  She bought you that sweater because she knew you would look like a fool in it.  BURN IT.  Nuff said? My major, number one, numero uno beef with today’s fashion is the insistence of people to dress their sweet little girls like hookers.  You know, you’ve seen them.  They have on really short skirts with tight short shirts and they have high heels for little girls.  So what you take your 6 year old shopping and say hey look they have a new line of “Young Tarts” out?  Hey honey why don’t you go try on this cute little latex hot pant outfit with the stripper shoes.  I’m sure they carry them in a 4 toddler.  Come on people let little girls be little girls. Oh and it’s not just the little girls it is in the little boys department too.  Yeah I want my 4 year old boy looking like a gangsta.  You know really big baggy jeans so he can j.h. (jail house) and a white t shirt under a basketball jersey big enough for Kareem Abdul Jabbar.   Do you know how they got the term jail housing for wearing your pants 5 sizes too big and half falling off your butt?  From the JAIL HOUSE.  The prisoners are not allowed to have belts so their pants slide down and they have to bunch them in the front hold them up.  So yeah that’s what I want sweet little boys to look like a gangsta in the big house ready to bust a cap in your ass. Why can’t they just design tasteful clothing?  We really don’t want to look like hookers or gangsta’s.  We don’t want to advertise our stomach maladies or wear little fuzzy bunnies on our chest.  Can’t we just wear a nice shirt and a nice skirt or pair of trousers?