By Rachel Joy on May 17, 2011
Before I start getting labeled as the "Bad Mommy" let me just firmly establish my views on physical retaliation. I am very against it! Whenever one of my children has been hit or smacked, pulled or punched by the other sibling, I always tell them to tell Mommy or Daddy and we will administer the proper punishment of the offender. I don't tolerate or condone physical retaliation and truly believe that if my children are ever faced with a physical confrontation, they should just walk away and tell an adult (preferably Mommy or Daddy). With that being said, the following excerpt will be a complete contradiction of the above statement...
The other day, my daughter was out in the front of our house playing with the other children in our compound. I was in the kitchen preparing a snack when all of a sudden she came through the door teary eyed. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that one of the kids hit her in the back. I went outside and told her to point out to me which kid and she did. It was the neighborhood "Rascal". This three year old little Tasmanian devil can be such a rascal at times. He's often left unsupervised by his parents and nanny and frequently hits other children. I went up to him and firmly told him that what he did was wrong and he shouldn't hit other children and that he shouldn't' do it again.
I can tell from the blank look in his face that what I said just went in one ear and out the other. So I told my daughter to stay away from him. I then went inside to finish preparing my snack, when this time our nanny came in and said, "Mam, he did it again. He just ran towards her then as he passed he hit her." Now I can feel the anger starting to arise in me, but in a controlled manner I went out again and confronted the little rascal. This time I told him I will personally tell his mother what he's been doing. He willingly came along as I knocked on their front door. No one answered. I knocked again and still no answer. Well clearly even his own parents did not want to deal with him and were either asleep or purposely avoiding me. So I turned to the kid and said, "If you hit my daughter again I'm going to have to put you in time out." Again with the blank stare, but I figured if no one will discipline him I mind as well give it a go.
Curious as to whether he would heed my warning, I stood outside the door and watched him like a hawk. And wouldn't you know it, within just a few minutes I saw him running towards my daughter with one hand raised. I shouted "HEY!!!" from across the courtyard so loud that I'm sure it woke up every napping individual in the compound. That was it. I lost all my motherly inhibitions and good sense.
I ran up to my daughter, stared her squarely in the eyes, and right in front of the little rascal I said, "If he ever tries to hit you again, I want you to kick him as hard as you can!" My daughter is definitely not the violent type. This is a little girl who would let her baby brother beat up on her and pull her hair while doing nothing, but call out to mommy to make him stop. Then I looked at the little rascal and said, "Next time you try to hit her, she will kick you and it will hurt and you will cry." I figured it was better than me personally threatening him, so I put it on my daughter.
I know...I know. I'm the "Bad Mommy" that just told her daughter to kick the living daylights out of a three year old toddler whose only fault was having irresponsible parents who didn't care to discipline him and let him run rampant shouting in people's windows at 6 AM in the morning.
But I tried to be civil about this. I really did. Talking to him, warning him, trying to confront the source of it all (his parents), but it was all ineffective. So yes, I let my flesh get to me and let my inner child speak through my motherly exterior and it was screaming, KICK HIM!!!
Go ahead, label me the "Bad Mommy", talk about the alternative ways on how YOU would've handled it, call me immature, but let me just say this, after that severe warning (threat) the little rascal never tried to hit my daughter again....
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