A Bag of Condoms and Gray's: Steamy? Yes. Romantic? Not Even Close.

Exactly one year ago I had high expectations for my boyfriend and I's one year anniversary. Not only had we survived through an amazing/tough/crazy one year together as a couple, but this was our first one-year anniversary with anyone. He's my first real boyfriend, first sexual experience, first true love. So yes, I expected flowers, sweet kisses, a dinner out, a romantic heartfelt card even... any of those things. What did I get? Well a walmart bag with a box of condoms still in it alongside my gift in the shape of "Grey's Anatomy: Season One." Was I mad? Oh, just a little. Was I hurt? Very much so. I deserved better than this, didn't I? Well that's a really great question. My first reaction was to be happy with what I got. Yay! I love Gray's! Not quite sure it was even close to what I expected, but it is something I love that he knows about. However, there was the lurking pit in my stomach that kept growing knowing the DVD set had been purchased just minutes before from the local Walmart, where my boyfriend also had thought ahead enough to buy a box of Trojans. On the up side, he wanted to make sure we were taking the necessary precautions for an activity that was surely going to happen. On the down side, can anybody say "classy"? I mean really!

That night all hell broke loose. I was upset but didn't know how to express this properly. A constant problem of mine it seems. He knew I was upset and wanted me to get it out in the air... but doing so would mean continuing to ruin an evening I had envisioned for the past month or two as perfection. Damn hopes! Why must you always fly up so high?

Eventually, I let him have it. I was mad, hurt, sad, and even pretty ticked that he was already presenting a "this should be good enough" tendency my mother had long taught me was unacceptable from my father's constant birthday and anniversary faux pas. We were better than this, weren't we? In the end, after a very uncomfortable amount of time spent crying, yelling, and listening... we got over it. He felt horrible and so did I: mission accomplished.

Tonight we will be spending our two-year anniversary together. I must admit, I've already got my guard up. I'm not about to be let down. Money's tight and I'm alright with that, so I've offered to split a gift to each other that we'll both like, the Heroes Seasons One DVD set. He likes DVD's then I'm willing to abide by celebrating in a comfy way where we'll enjoy togetherness without the pressures of cash getting in the way. However, I've also informed him that I'lll be picking up a bottle of bubbly in order to throw in a proper amount of elegance and celebration to our evening. I sent a card, but I'm keeping myself grounded to the possibility that his "thanks, that's really nice" will be the last I'll see from that. Honestly, I'm pretty sure that I'm ok with this. After all, I just love being around him. Something we hardly ever get to do these days, ever since our lives have changed so much (graduation, new jobs, new states, etc.). I must admit though, part of me is crossing my fingers and holding my breath that I can keep my cool tonight enough to be fair to both him and myself without hurting any feelings, or adding unnecessary pressure.

Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend, he's a really great guy. Truth be told, he's "the one." Of course this isn't exactly tbe best representation of him. He's just not romantic in the conventional sense. Where as, I ooze with lovely-dovey mush. Getting the picture? Where as he wants to enjoy those nights where he just randomly surprises me with comfort and gifts when I'm felling down. I just really want to enjoy this anniversary. Fights not included ;)

So help console me, relate to me, and make me laugh. What's the worst anniversary experience you've ever had?

To read more Daszzling stories of love and life, visit: http://somethingtosmileaboutdaszzle.blogspot.com/

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