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Balance. How do I find it from within this addictive personality? How do I manage to make the most of every minute when right now my whole being aches to do nothing but sit in front of my computer, plugged into my virtual world, and write short stories, blog, answer questions posted by others on a certain website, explore the beta version of another, people watch?
Time. Who has time for all the things waiting to be explored in this world? When the struggles of day-to-day suck every last spare moment greedily away? When money and jobs and small business and husbands and small boys and housework and laundry all snatch at my time? When all I want is time for myself after years of feeling like there was no time for me. No me.
Balance and Time. For the first time in many, many years I have true and actual time to myself, guaranteed. The carefree, outgoing, spontaneous person I was in my early twenties slowly crumpled under the weight of unfulfilling full time employment, the challenges of marriage, and the martyrdom of motherhood. No balance and no time to be my true self. I let me go like the strings of a helium balloon silently slipping from my fingers and watched myself float away until I couldn't see ME anymore. Now time has shone its generosity back on me, giving me this precious time to myself.
And, dammit, now that I've had a taste, touched me again, I want to stretch up to the sky, reaching for those remnants of the person I was and pull those echoes of me back to me. Who am I? Who am I now? And so I struggle with this balance and time.
