Balancing Fear of Abduction and a Kid's Need for Independence

I too have this great fear. My poor boys are always attached to me, even in front of our home. This summer my 10 yr. Old son with a mood disorder expressed his deep need to play out front alone to have some much needed freedom and ability to de-stress. I've been trying hard to never let this happen, but it became clear, even suggested by his therapist that he needed this time. So I made the leap and let him play out front alone. This was very hard to do, I will admit that I kept spying on him from the windows, but I kept in mind a piece of advice my sister gave me. In only 6 years he'll be driving a car alone, anywhere in the city and beyond. At some point you have to loosen your grip. It's taking some getting use to and a lot of prayer, but it doesn't make me worried like it use to.

I grew up in the era of Adam Walsh, which left my parents very shaken and terrified. When I was almost abducted at age 10, my mother felt very justified. Now as an adult, I really do get her fears, but also feel like her over protectiveness kept me from so many things when I was growing up. It really is a fine balance.

So wonderful to see you here- and with such a powerful, important post!

Wow! Powerful post, Kim! My biggest fear is losing one of my children also.

This is something that I grapple with as well. Here in Japan, where the crime rate is relatively low, children are required to walk to school by themselves. They go in groups, but still, once they get near home they start going their separate ways and I often see young children walking alone. I was so freaked out about sending my cute, long-lashed little boy to school on foot that I enrolled him in an expensive private school that we could hardly afford so that I could drive him. Now that he's twelve, he wants to ride his bike to friends' houses and to the store by himself and I let him, but I feel a little nervous until he's back under our roof.

I don't have children, but if I did, I would share your fears. I'm glad that I grew up in an era when my mother did not have these worries. I had a great deal of freedom, and I always felt safe.

A wonderful piece by Kimberly, illustrating eloquently our legitimate fears for our children.

Thank you Jenna for sharing this story from my blog on BlogHer today! Since writing this piece I still have my fear of abduction and struggle with giving my children the space and freedom that their minds and hearts need. The billboard stating a child abduction has been lit up three times since I wrote this, and my heart grieves for the children and parent(s) each time. I would love to know how other parents deal with this fear while balancing freedom for their children, so thank you for sharing this here today!