Battle #2: Making Stretch Marks Sexy

She's smokin' hot, you saw her. But she's one of those girls that's like an 8 but thinks she's a 20. And then she opens her mouth and stupid just pours out. She immidately drops from an 8 to a 1. I  can't stand stupid. I don't care how pretty you are, if you are too into yourself and stupid that makes you ugly...” PAUSE....wait for it....wait for it....I litterally held my breath at this point....

That's why I'm glad I found you. Because now I get to have intelligent conversation while I stare at your pretty face,” .....Give this man a prize y'all!!

And he wasn't just blowing smoke either...many men I've talked to have said the same thing.

But then you have THOSE women. The women that seem to have to whole package and their only flaw is that they don't care that YOUR husband is married to YOU. We can all spot them from a mile away. Our husbands are completely clueless and the more we try to tell them the more crazy we look. So it's all fine and good that we're smart and funny women and our husbands like that...but what happens when a better looking clone of ourselves walks in with an 18 year old body and nothing to lose?

Well of course first we pray. I have discovered that when the Bible said that a man and his wife were one, God meant that literally. So when I pray for my husband it's as if I'm praying for myself. You can pray to God all you want for your neighbor to stop playing their loud music at 2AM, but we all have the right to choose and God will not “make” anyone do anything. So that's not what I mean. But what I do mean, is the mindset. I can pray for my husband's thoughts as I would pray for my own, and God will hear them as if they came from my husband. Because we are one.

So I always like to pray that my husband will see every flaw, every trap, and that she will become repulisive to him.

But then I pray for me and what can I do to make sure that there is not desire for him to want someone else. And when I began to pray that I discovered something amazing about men. Yes we should do our best to look good for our husbands, stay clean and fresh and do things for him...like don't be lazy in the bedroom, ask him what he wants for a change, don't be afraid to take the high road. All of that is true. But what God showed me had greater impact.

Men want acceptance. In fact, they desire it more than women do. And not only is it a desire, but it's a basic need for a man...it's like oxygen. The difference? It has to come in a different form. Women want to be cuddled, wined, dined, told they don't look fat even though they are WELL AWARE that they do. Men don't want all that. They want real respect and etification. They want to hear that their job isn't a given, that's it's something to be praised. And when they've had a bad day and they don't want to talk about it, they honestly DON'T want to talk about it. They don't want to hear what they should do...because for a man all he hears is what he DIDN'T do and that in turn makes him a failure.

He doesn't want to be nagged about taking out the trash...trust me he heard you the first time. Just because he doesn't do things on YOUR time table doesn't mean he's an inconsiderate jerk. My husband works nights and I have learned that if I say “Hey do you mind taking out the trash” and he says yes...that means, yes at 3am when I get home, possibly 4am if I decide to watch tv when I get home. And you know what? That's ok.

Us women really need to understand that men are different, and that's ok.

One of my biggest pet peeves with my husband is that we're always late. And not becasue he's a primper. Oh no. It's a Sunday morning, we have to leave in 20 minutes. I've finally become successful in waking my husband up. He knows he only has 20 minutes. My husband is a smoker and I'm ok with that, but when you are a smoker 20 minutes actually means 5 -10 because you need a smoke and you WILL NOT rush a smoke on a morning where your next smoke isn't coming for AT LEAST 2 hours. So what does my husband do? He sits up in the bed with his clothes and shoes right next to him and turns on Sports Center. 10 minutes later, he puts on his pants, socks and one shoe. On the next commercial he dresses the rest of the way. And then steps outside to have a smoke. By the time that smoke is done, kids are in the car and we are ready to go. And my husband walks BACK into the house and brushes his teeth while watching Sports Center. Holds the deortorant in his hand until the next commercial and THEN puts it on. And now he's ready to go. And we my friends are 15 minutes late to church, 20 if traffic is bad.

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