Be Free of Jealousy, the Green Eyed Monster

The Green Eyed Monster

“Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live! ” – Bob Marley

Let’s face it, jealousy is an icky feeling that most people accept as the underbelly of their emotional intelligence. But what is jealousy, really?  In getting really real with myself, I sought to understand the entire gamut of my emotions, and while lots of other feelings seem to ebb and flow, jealousy has persistence, it has stamina, it has stride.  It can hang around like a noisy drunk reeking havoc on your happiness long after you’ve politely asked it to leave.

I learned that not only do our feelings – even jealousy – exist for a reason, they can also serve as a map for personal growth if we allow ourselves to see.  There was a once a time when I was jealous of other women, especially creative women.  I’d give backhanded compliments like, “she has a pretty voice, it’s just not my taste in music,” or “sure her house is beautiful if you don’t mind living in the suburbs.”  That is until I, too, quit playing it safe, unleashing myself from the perfection prison I’d created in my mind, and began engaging as a beginner in creative pursuits like: playing guitar, writing music and painting. Like lingering condensation suddenly evaporating on a bathroom mirror, any and all jealously vanished and in its place was an immense and unexpected desire to support other women, not just in creative endeavors, but in whatever quests they’re on. With each new chance I took took creatively I found myself being kinder and gentler to myself and in turn a feeling of camaraderie with other women arose, as if we women are all in it together.

I realized that my fear of failure had been masquerading as jealousy.  I was fearful of taking that vulnerable leap, and annoyed that other people were brave enough to go for it.  I discovered that jealousy is a direct descendent of feeling like there isn’t enough to go around.  An idea that we can’t all be fabulous, passionate creators with sincere belief in ourselves, while nothing could be further from the truth.  Just like a new backdrop rolling down in the middle of a theater production, my life took on an entirely different landscape as I ventured further down the path of my dreams.  This seemingly simple, yet powerful shift inspired the WoW section of my blog as a space to foster collaboration and celebration amongst women.

Because jealously paralyzes us into doing nothing, while action towards our dreams is very thing that will set us free, the best thing to do is take that FIRST STEP, even if it’s a small one and remember to be the beginner.  Jealousy carries a very low vibrational frequency and is a big creative block; two things that keep us stuck with looping thoughts of not being good enough or capable enough to conquer our dreams.  However, if we use our jealousy as a map – as the insightful author Julia Cameron recommends in her book, The Artists Way - it can direct us away from jealously and closer to what we truly desire. Here’s what she suggests:

WHO                              WHY                                            ANTIDOTE/ACTION

My sister, Libby           Has a real art studio                  Fix a spare room

My friend, Ed               Writes good crime novels         Try writing one

Anne Sexton                She’s a famous poet                 Publish my hoarded poems

Hopefully the next time the Green Eyed Monster rears its ugly head, you can use this MAP to find your way out of the dark jealously tunnel and into a place of joy!