Be Happy With Others When They Are Happy -- That's All

BlogHer Original Post

The kind of blog posts I typically put out, if I'm being totally honest, are pretty much like cotton candy -- dissolving right when they hit your system and providing absolutely no protein whatsoever.

I know that one day my daughter may look back on this blog and get a glimpse of who her mother was, so I'm kinda feelin' like I need to start adding a little meat every now and then. 

Here's something that has been on my mind, mainly because I see so many people whose bitterness and negativity spew onto others.

I've been married for 11 years.  When my husband and I first got married, we knew we wanted to have a baby, so we tried from day one (well, okay, it was night one) to get pregnant, and a funny (very loose use of that word here) thing happened.

I didn't get pregnant. 

Then I still didn't get pregnant.

Then I didn't get pregnant some more.

(This post is not about my fertility, I promise, since apparently I have no fertility.)

Let me continue.

I desperately wanted a baby with my husband, but things were just not working out.  There were some doctor's visits, lots of Hannah-style praying, emotional mood swings that would make the cast of The Real Housewives of New York look like Michelle Duggar, but still no baby.

At times I was a wreck.  A curling-up-in-a-fetal-position, crying-until-I-couldn't breathe-without-gasping-for-air (otherwise known as the Ugly Cry), withdrawn-from-everyone wreck.  Just the mere mention of someone getting pregnant would cause a meltdown of epic proportions.

Two Happy WomenI kept it a secret from most people.  I didn't like talking about it and I didn't want people feeling sorry for me, so I just pretended everything was normal. 

But one day I got an invitation to a baby shower, and I casually mentioned to my husband that I didn't feel up to it, so I wasn't going to go.  After all, I was hurting.  Why subject myself to uncomfortable situations which would only remind me that I was as barren as the Mojave desert? 

And this is what my totally awesome, wonderful (and I'm not being sarcastic when I use those adjectives) husband said to me in the most matter-of-fact tone imaginable: 

"You know, the Bible says in Romans 12:15 to rejoice with those who rejoice."

Well, does it now? 

"You should be happy for her."

Don't make me get out of this fetal position and claw yours eyes out.

"I think you should go."

Do ya?  Do ya really?  You may exit the room now.

My husband's good like that.  He knew that I needed to get beyond my emotions in order to go forward with my life.  And forward I did go.  Because that scripture spoke volumes to me. (Once I was able to calm down and process it!)  It hit me square between the eyes and changed my life.  It took a little while to sink in, but it did sink in.

But wait.  There's more. 

Not only did I need to get beyond my emotions in order to go forward with my life, but I needed to go forward with my life to minister to the needs of others.

Yep.  It's true.  A person in their own little cocoon is really no good to anyone.

In a world that is selfish, self-serving, and just downright mean, there is a huge principle in this scripture.  Just be happy with others when they are happy.  Move beyond being consumed with your own issues and show people that you care It not only benefits them, but it will benefit you.

Just for the record, I am totally fine now about not having had another baby.  I don't even think about it anymore, except maybe a fleeting thought every now and then that pops into my head, but I honestly do not struggle with the sadness I once had.  I promise!  I am genuinely liking my life and the freedom I have. I can truthfully say that I am 100% happy when I hear someone is going to have a baby.  I couldn't always say that.  And the reason is because God did a work in my life in that area. And if He chooses to bless us with a baby right now, I'd have to trust Him on a whole new level.  But I'm fine either way. 

So, to recap: 

Romans 12:15a says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice..." (NIV)

Just be happy for and with others when they are happy.   Isn't that easy?  Practice it today.

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