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Be Kind to Your Body Today

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"You look like an Oompa-Loompa." “I look disgusting with my cottage cheese legs and stretch-mark hips. Nasty. No one would want to touch me.” “I’m ugly. Too skinny. Look sick.” “Oh my God, look at her waist and legs! We’re the same height. She looks like a model. I look like a lumpy sock.” If you've thought things like that -- or said them aloud to yourself -- it turns out you aren't alone. A new study by Glamour magazine shows that 97% of women have thoughts like that every single day.

Sadly, the comments above aren't ones I made up to drive the point home. They are real, honest-to-goodness responses from the women who took part in Glamour's experiment about body image.

Glamour explained their experiment.

We challenged young women across the country to note every negative or anxious thought they had about their bodies over the course of one full day. The results shocked us: A whopping 97 percent admitted to having at least one “I hate my body” moment.

97%? 97%!?! Goodness. That result makes my heart ache for the millions of strong, intelligent, beautiful, compassionate, courageous women in our society who are apparently selling themselves far too short. But, at the same time, it's not all that surprising, is it?

Just in the past few months we've seen a series of beauty magazine flubs that make studies like this make sense. From Marie Claire's fat-bashing to Elle's lightening of Aishwarya Rai Bachchan's skin, we are constantly bombarded with images, words and other notions that our bodies are imperfect; they are not enough and, as such, we are not enough.

Glamour says the media bombardment and celebrity worship aren't the only things leading to the destructive thoughts.

"Neuroscience has shown that whatever you focus on shapes your brain. If you’re constantly thinking negative thoughts about your body, that neural pathway becomes stronger—and those thoughts become habitual,” she explains. “Imagine a concert pianist. Her brain would have stronger neural pathways that support musicality and dexterity than someone who hadn’t spent her life practicing.”

In short, negative thoughts beget more negative thoughts. After years and years of thinking that you need to be on a diet, that you need to lose those last five pounds, that big hips are out of style, that you need bigger boobs or smaller boobs or your version of "perfect boobs," you've managed to make your brain believe those things, leaving you with no room or ability to love and accept the body you are currently sporting. The years and years of self-sabotage start early, with the University of Florida studying girls ages three to six. Nearly half of them were worried about being fat. No wonder our brains get warped into believing and perpetuating the myth that we are not good enough for ourselves.

body image
Image via suez92 on flickr. Go tell her she is beautiful.

Interestingly, the data from Glamour's experiment shows that "respondents who were unsatisfied with their career or relationship tended to report more negative body thoughts than women who were content in those areas. What’s more, feeling uncomfortable emotions of any sort—stress, loneliness, even boredom—made many women start berating their looks." That makes sense to me. When I'm upset with work or life in general, I am careful not to take my frustration out on my husband or my children. But I can tell you that I am not as careful with myself.

The article goes on to offer advice about getting over and past the self-snark. The steps include:

  • "Rewiring your brain" (think positively, focus on the good)
  • "Ask yourself" (is your current grumpy state really about your body or something else?)
  • "Exercise" (no, really, it will make you feel better!)
  • "Say STOP!" (when you start thinking negative thoughts about your body)
  • "Remind yourself" (that obsessing about your body doesn't magically make it any different)
  • "Appreciate your body" (for what it does rather than how it looks)
  • And lastly, "Play up your strengths" (focus on making the most of what you've got)

Great advice, which is rather in tune with our Own Your Beauty campaign.

I feel concerned about the numbers and how nasty the comments were by respondents about their own bodies. I have been watching my thoughts for the past few days and mentally forcing myself to stay on the positive side of the fence. It's hard work, but it has also greatly improved my mood.

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JillDuggan 5 pts

we know that bothering about our own body is a healthy thinking. But when we are making ways to starve ourselves or taking risky diet pills in the name of losing weight, it cannot be considered as taking care of your body instead you are putting yourself in the verge of danger.

marriana 5 pts

•"Exercise" (no, really, it will make you feel better!)
•"Say STOP!" (when you start thinking negative thoughts about your body)
•"Remind yourself" (that obsessing about your body doesn't magically make it any different)
•"Appreciate your body" (for what it does rather than how it looks)

Don't have anytjing else to say! So propmtly written!
I want to thank you for this "fresh waft", because everywhere around us - magazines, billboards,TV artificial beauty peers at us!

LindsayDianne 7 pts

I always felt this way about my physical appearance. My entire life I did. And then after I had my baby I reached an alltime high at 300 lbs. What I thought all that time had come to fruition and now I was indeed on the outside what I always thought I was on the inside.
Through hard work, inside and out, focusing on nutrition and portion sizes, I lost 130+ lbs. I began to work out. I began to retrain my mindset as I knew I was doing everything in my power to take control of how I look and FEEL (more important). Food, which was always a way to feel better in my childhood home, is fuel in our home now. My daughter has a great outlook on food and what it does and I am proud of myself, and her, everyday.

There are so many ways you can beat yourself up, but there are only a few ways to get up and do something about your life and the reasons behind all those negative feelings.

My next challenge is to deal with the years of having an undiagnosed learning disorder, and growing up believing I was stupid.
We each have our demons, but so long as you're taking positive steps to make a difference in your own life instead of whining all the time about how rough it all is... you'll do okay.
And go easy on yourself!!!

Great, thought provoking post.

Sloane Rhodes 5 pts

It is so tough to raise girls to love their bodies when we are surrounded by so many false images of what the female body looks like. That being said, I have noticed with my own (3 teenage girls) that when I push them to work out and participate in some kind of sport or physical activity, that the focus becomes less on what their bodies look like and more on what their bodies CAN DO! It can be a subtle shift, but a healthy one in the long run.

www.hotflashdiaries.com ( http://www.hotflashdiaries.com )

Rell87 5 pts

"However, being significantly overweight, >50 lbs, is not healthy or beautiful".---Wait it's not beautiful? I was following your point until you said that. Thinness is not always a sign of health, nor should it be the standard of beauty. There are some women who are very thin, or appear to be extremely healthy, but are not, skinny people died of heart disease, diabetes, and strokes too. Associating heaviness with unhealthiness is misleading and damaging. Lastly, beauty has a spectrum of what’s acceptable and what’s not acceptable. To some fat or heaviness is not beautiful, but to others it is. I do believe some women hide behind the "stop fat bashing, it's hurting my self-esteem" banner, but not all. You're right, people do need to get real about their health, but that has nothing to do with beauty. Your comment is the issued. Associating health with beauty (the American standard) is wrong. If I am 96lbs I am beautiful, if I am 246lbs, I am beautiful, possibly unhealthy, but still beautiful.

Rell87 5 pts

The ironic part is that glamour magazine perpetuates restricting idolized images of femininity. So, it would seem that Glamour would change their magazine content and start diversifying the images it displays...

abgirl 5 pts

I agree there is a lot of denial, and a lot of these movements have a latent message of "it's OK for you to be too fat/too skinny/whatever". It's not healthy to be overweight. Most people unfortunately are, and should aim not to be. It's not something to celebrate.

I guess the only thing I have to add there is that we shouldn't judge women who are overweight to harshly either, or make them feel ugly. They may or may not be attractive. But it's beside the point. We should encourage women to be healthy.

Nicole_Longstreath 5 pts

Constant negative thoughts about yourself are bad, so is holding ourselves to supermodel standards.

However, I think there's a fair bit of denial happening in this country about what is healthy - mostly with us women.

Keeping your body in good shape is an important thing many have seen to forgotten. Yes, we're all going to age and possibly have babies which will undoubtedly affect our bodies. However, being significantly overweight, >50 lbs, is not healthy or beautiful.

Our physical appearance is a reflection of our choices. If we eat tons of processed food, smoke, allow excessive stress - it's all reflected right there on our bodies.

Don't you think if we start with treating our bodies right by properly taking care of them, then the beauty (and positive thoughts) might come from effortless confidence?

Just my 2cents

http://aviewfromtheedge.net/blog

mlrabideau 5 pts

We are drawn to celebrities, models, socialites, and public figures. Unfortunately we have allowed the media to interpret how a natural woman should look like. This tradition began as soon as humans started using tools to recreate what they saw. In another words, before magazines there were cave drawings representing men and women. We accepted our Mothers, Grandmothers, Aunts, and other prominent relative-realistic females in our lives and their discontent with their images. Technology further ingrained and defined a fake world of beauty. Our eyes constantly graze upon reflections of the "ideal" image from Barbie to Betty Crocker (yes she has become more shapely throughout the years).
We fail to see and appreciate what the human body is and what it does. It ages, gravity takes hold, and everyone is unique. We categorize and generalize certain physiques. The messages are conflicting eat healthy, eat on the go, fast, slow, carbs, or no carbs. It is overwhelming. I want to be desirable so I look at photographs of women who are airbrushed, have gym memberships, personal trainers, nutritionists, it is their job to look good, and by the way are at least 10 years younger than me and never had children. Not fair. I can't win this battle but I can do some harm along the way.
Disney and McDonalds are hurting our youth, I joke. It may not be far off to conclude that we are pushing the idea of perfect and beautiful while eating for fun meanwhile it is horrible for our health.
We need to remember to find peace within. Yoga helped me refocus on basic core elements like breathing. Life is full of marathons, image is one where it is ok to be the turtle, slow down and appreciate what is around us and within.

Melissa Ford 42 pts

I can definitely love my body more than I hate it, though I do admit that I fall into that 97%. Some of it is just remembering younger versions of my body and wanting to hold onto it (though did I love it then?). Some of it is a preference -- I like smaller boobs therefore, I would also like smaller boobs for myself.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her novel about blogging is Life from Scratch ( http://www.life-from-scratch.com/ ).

abgirl 5 pts

I don't doubt that many, probably even the majority, of North American women have those thoughts every day. However as a student of statistics and research methods I can't stop myself from pointing out that that "experiment" is not scientific in any way and that "97%" came out of essentially nowhere.

I'd hesitate to believe any statistic, or any science snippet about neural pathways, for that matter, quoted in Glamour magazine.

Nevertheless, yes, women are bombarded with negative body image every day. It's sad that we as normal women should be made to feel inadequate. I'm skeptical of these movements to make women feel "beautiful" regardless of what they look like, though. There will always be a certain standard that defines women as attractive or unattractive, no matter what. I feel the real fallacy lies in insisting women be "beautiful" in the first place, instead of insisting women be valued for more than just their beauty.

VixensFix 5 pts

Everything in moderation. Including moderation.

Dieting, starving, saying no to the things you want. Magazines will have you believe that will power is the way to stay healthy. Or at least trim and slim.

Every once in a while, indulge yourself. Because you can. Because you want to.

Read my blog!

http://www.willdatetoeat.blogspot.com

Contrice 5 pts

97% is awful. What even worse is that I'm part of the majority. I admit to having at least one bad thought about my body everyday. However, I will say this, during those times when I was not taking care of myself...I had even more frequent "I hate myself thoughts." I think us women know subconsciously when we have let ourselves go, even if we don't openly admit it. When I decided to openly admit that to myself and take the step toward the person I wanted to be...many of those negative thoughts ceased. But until people are perfect, ALL of the negative thoughts will not stop.

Contrice from Vitamins-and-Health-Facts.com ( http://www.vitamins-and-health-facts.com )

MenopauseChat 8 pts

97% is really a high number. What a shame so many women have such a poor image of themselves. I know we are all guilty of that from time to time but something has to give here. What kind of message are we sending to young women?

Holly

http://menopausechitchat.com/blog

HomeRearedChef 584 pts

I totally agree! Getting rid of magazines that send the wrong message about our bodies is a great start. Personally, I have never ordered these magazines, and never bothered to read them.

I've had 3 children, and in due course gained 105 pounds. But in all fairness to me, it did take me almost 29-years to gain them. Presently, I am not a low-carb diet and a workout regimen, in hopes of losing this weight.

One great thing about this, my faithful husband-my best friend!-has joined me in this quest. I am blessed!

LucindaA 21 pts

is a great place to start. I never thought about it but I don't read fashion magazines and never have. I can see how those images can really have an impact on what you think is ideal. I talk to my daughter a lot about what is real and what isn't and what is fabulous about her body because I want to reinforce that positive from the very beginning. Hopefully it will help.

irishjenni 5 pts

I stopped all of my subscriptions to magazines that were aimed at selling me clothes and beauty products that I couldn't afford. The side benefit is that I don't have the monthly reminder of what I'm "supposed to look like."

Second, I also recently cancelled cable and started watching quirky tv from Canada and the UK online. It's striking to see that "real people" are the actors on these shows. In an office setting, the people are really a range of looks and body types as opposed to our American shows where super models play waitresses and baristas.

Third, I recently stopped going to the "it" bars and restaurants where everyone sizes you up when you walk through the door.

There are hidden traps for feeling bad about how you look everywhere but once you identify the source and remove it, it makes for a much more pleasant day. And (unsurprisingly) I don't have those nagging negative thoughts about how I look.

Jenni writes Wine Will Fix It ( http://winewillfixit.blogspot.com ) from her oasis on the beach in Los Angeles.

girlyfight 5 pts

Our site has spent the entire month of February focusing on loving different groups of people. This week, the focus is on loving ourselves. It's sad to see numbers like 97% of us suffering with body image issues. The steps listed in the Glamour article are a very good place to start in correcting the negative thoughts.