Behind at Being Behind and Something About a Book

To say I'm behind would be severely inadequate.

My behind is behind. There's like a whole cluster of behind happening up in here.

I'd really like to blame my home remodel on my current preference to completely 'check out' of all that is happening in the blogging world, but that's just a big heaping pile of hokum.

I don't want to write. Anything. At all. Period.

I'm forcing myself now, which has caused a bit of an uprising in my body - meaning...I've started watering the lawn, written a sentence, emptied the dishwasher, written a partial paragraph while pondering whether I really write 'paragraphs' or not, gotten more coffee, checked on progress of the tile guy (just making sure he's on task, a spot inspection if you will...etc) and then went on search for the coffee cup full of coffee I just made...again.

Anything to keep from being on task.

It's funny how this feeling comes and goes, this desire to write (rare) and not write (increasingly less rare). It proves to me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that blogging isn't "my thing". It's showing me that what I'm actually doing is keeping a living journal and allowing people to see it. A distressing revelation, because I'd really like to find "my thing", but it keeps moving and shifting and changing. Rather uncharitable and rude, if you ask me. STAND STILL, YOU 'THING' AND LET ME DISCOVER WHAT AND WHERE YOU ARE! Dammit...

And...that funk that tends to settle upon me? It's back, so it makes hammering out this post even more difficult (I'll need to move the sprinkler soon...more orchestrated distraction coming up...).

So, I finished a book this week. 

This random leap is intentional, because saying that I've finished a book will segue into my stating that I'm trying to dig my way out of wherever it is my brain is being held hostage. And just so you know how shrouded in mystery the whereabouts of my imagination is, I struggled to think up words to use in place of 'random'.

And ya know what?

Zilch, nada and... 

"I'm sorry, you have reached a thought process that is no longer in service"

So, "random" it is then.

Back to the book, that I read...that took a month. Oy.

Along with my desire to write, my desire to read and keep on task with my reading goal of 40 books this year is in jeopardy of shriveling up and dying in some dark, dusty corner. I'm now 7 books behind my goal, which means that I'll need to read 5 (FIVE.CINCO.1-2-3-4-5) books A MONTH to ensure I stay on pace.

 F.I.V.E. Fast reader I am not!

I know this because I log everything into Goodreads. You can find me there under Melissa Aiello. Well, I'm not 'under' her, I AM her. (ha, that thar was a non-funny joke I just made. I have a cold, in my head, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it). So, go ahead and send me a little follow request, or friend request, or whatever the hell they call it there. I'll wait. G'head....

Once we're Goodreads BFF's you'll see that I've read, since January:

* A Discovery of Witches

* Mockingjay

* Little Alters Everywhere

* Boneshaker

*The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie

* The Curse of the Spellmans

* The Noose that Strings the Hangman's Bag

* There's a Slight Chance I Might Be Going To Hell

* Miss Peregrines Home for Peculiar Children

...and lastly, just finished this week...

* The Magicians

The last book had me clawing my way through, struggling valiantly to carry on because I'll be damned if I invested THIS much time in it only to give up (again), like I did on _The Good Omen_ (of which I could NOT get through no matter how much I scrapped, clawed and convinced myself it was worth wasn't). I didn't like the characters (I just wanted to smack them) and the story lumbered along like a drunken slug on downers. Y.A.W.N.

So now I'm sitting here writing to you, Dear Reader, during my short break from reading _The Martian Chronicles _ (my tribute to Mr. Bradbury and a blissfully short book that will help get me back on track) and moving the sprinkler around the lawn and all the other chores I'm pretending not to ignore...because...well...I don't really know why. 

I suppose it is a way for me to say that I miss my bloggy friends. I miss checking in on BlogHer, but I just can't bring myself to be part of the Chatter. And I haven't been reading or commenting on blogs (except for an occasional here & there sort of thing). It isn't for lack of interest, I dearly do miss the interaction...I'm feeling as if I need to direct my energy somewhere else. Difficult to do, I might add, when you are up to your eyeballs full of funkishness. 

So, a little break is what I need (I think), to see where it leads (I hope. Maybe).

I do, though, solemnly swear that I'll catch up on all the posts I've missed from my favorite bloggy friends (thank you, Google Reader, for reminding me exactly HOW FAR behind I am) and to leave a comment to show how much I appreciate your dedication to writing and keeping me entertained...even when I'm in a pewpy mood.

Cheers, peeps! Hugs & {hearts} to y'all! 


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