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I am the birth parent of 2 kids, the adoptive parent of one, the foster parent of many, adopting another soon. Most have some sort of special need or...
 
 
 
 

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Is Being Gifted and Talented A Special Need?

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I'm in a mood. I'm not truly picking a fight, but this little thing is getting under my skin a bit and I'm thinking maybe, with all the garbage going on in my personal world right now, I'm just lacking a little perspective, so here's your chance. Climb up on your soap box and share your opinion.

There's something in the land of special needs that either I've over looked or is a brand new thing about to trend.

There seems to be a push to have kids that are typically labeled gifted and talented, meaning they have exceptional intelligence, declared special needs kids. Now, I'm not talking about those kids called Twice Exceptional, meaning they have, for lack of better terms, "a real" special need like ADD and exceptional intelligence. I'm talking about your general genius kid. The precocious kids that really do know more than the average human being ever will by the time they're 10. Those kids.

No doubt they will have challenges in life. I'm confident it's a struggle to see the rest of the world as incredibly thick from before the time you hit double digits. But it's also difficult to be the tall kid or the fat kid or the poor kid and we don't give them "special needs status" in school or life.

I'm wondering what everyone is thinking about this. Have you heard about it before? Do I just live under a rock? Am I being an insensitive you-know-what?

What about all you parents with kids that have really big, profound special needs, what do you think about all this? Does it do something to what you've been working toward for your non-verbal, wheelchair bound child? What about the Autistic kids that are managing to get by in school? What happens when they're all lumped together as special needs kids?

For myself, as a momma with kids that have mild "invisible" special needs, I feel a little funny about this whole thing. I want to shake my head and say, "really?" If you lived everyday life with a "true" special needs child and all that goes along with that, why, oh, why would you ever seek out to place that brand on your child. Why would you do that to them?

And do you really want to claim that you walk in our shoes? Have you spent endless years and dollars searching for the diagnosis label that will begin to explain why your child is the way he is? Have you mourned over and over the loss of what your child was going to grow up to be in your momma dreams? Have you struggled not to cry in the grocery or restaurant or zoo as your child acted in a way that was "wrong" and the rest of the adult world walked by and judged you, or worse yet got in your face and told you what a suck ass parent you were? Have you endured the destruction and aggression that often goes along with a special needs child and all the things in your home that are broken because of their control issues? Does your family live with the knowledge that you are intentionally not included in parties and picnics and dinners and play dates and so on because your special child is obnoxious? Do you feel the sting when you realize that no matter how much your child wanted to be in whatever sport or activity and no matter that the talent was there, they cannot participate because of their behavior issues? Do you know what it's like to live with a child that in many of his areas--social, emotional, practical--is 4-8 years behind his peers?

Have you looked into the eyes of your child and seen the hurt and pain and rage that they don't understand, can't control and ultimately regret? Have you lived their defeats with them? Like that first day that they really "get it" that the other kids aren't thinking he's funny and laughing at his funniness, but instead think he's "funny" and are laughing at him.

Maybe I do have a big ol' chip on my shoulder.

Either way, all you parents and teachers and everyone else chime in, let's hear those opinions, cause I wanna know!
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IsleDance 5 pts

P.S. And...we all have our special needs. Whether physical, cognitive, neurological, emotional or whatever. And yes, I say this as someone who had two siblings with learning disabilities and one sibling with neurological damage.

Also...you can be gifted and have said disabilities above.

Basically...we all deserve connection and care that relates to whatever situation we're each facing. We don't ignore one child because we assume they'll have it easier. Ultimately, that very act will ensure they'll be quite lost in more ways than one.

One Friday night, I loaded up my life and headed out... ( http://isledance.blogspot.com )

IsleDance 5 pts

Check out sengifted.org

Being gifted is no guarantee that you're going to (be able to) apply those skills to schooling or life. More often than not, gifted kids are bored and underachieving because most adults do not know what to do with said child.

Here are a few important links to read...

http://www.sengifted.org/articles_counseling/Webb_... ( http://www.sengifted.org/articles_counseling/Webb_... )

http://www.sengifted.org/articles_counseling/Lind_... ( http://www.sengifted.org/articles_counseling/Lind_... )

Yes, they need special attention and care. They need direction...toward that which helps them figure out how to take care of their needs. Or we all lose out on what they have to offer.

When others assume the gifted have it easy...they are perpetuating a major misconception. Often, they are very lonely and unsure what to do...because they don't fit into everyone else's model of what it means to think and learn and be.

One Friday night, I loaded up my life and headed out... ( http://isledance.blogspot.com )

Desi Valentine 14 pts

I am the much older sister to a brother with Asperger's and a sister with ADHD. I am the daughter of a single mother who has had to advocate for the seventeen years since my siblings' initial Special Needs coding. I am the mother of a daughter who has been labeled "gifted" already, at age four. I find this classification of children to be damaging in general, and the inclusion of "gifted" kids in the "special needs" category to be insulting to both groups.

Parents of "gifted" kids worry about behavioural problems in school because of boredom. We ask teachers and principals if they will challenge our children enough to keep them learning and - more importantly - help them stay happy and positive about their school experience. If they can't do it, we find another school.

Families of Special Needs kids worry about how/when/where the disruptive behaviour will manifest, what we can do to prevent or limit those behaviours, and how the incident(s) will impact their school experience, their social experiences, their overall health and their future. We ask teachers and principals for aides, alternative learning resources, and as much patience as they can manage. Finding another school is more difficult, because of all that is involved in transitioning to a new environment and securing the support and the funding once we get there.

There really is no comparison.