Being Grateful

 In 2006 I was on my way to meet with a home health patient.  I was a practicing nurse in the

field of pediatrics.  Little did I know that August 2 was going to be a day that changed my life

forever.  I was on a busy interstate at 7 in the morning amidst the flow of early morning rush

hour traffic.  All of a sudden one of my tires  blew.  Here I am traveling 60 miles an hour and

suddenly lose complete control of my vehicle.  I slammed sideways into a huge waste

management truck and became hooked to his right rear wheel well area.  He had no idea I had

even hit him.  So here  I am being drug by this massive truck continuing down the interstate. Over

and over I kept slamming sideways into him.  At one point he slowed down a bit.  (He thought he

heard a "knock" in his engine).  It was at this point my rear end fish tailed and I impacted his side

head on and my vehicle was impaled by a steel rod on the side of his truck.  Thank the Lord it

missed me as it came violently crashing through my windshield.  At some point a motorist must

have flagged him down to stop and my vehicle immediately separated from his. The entire driver

side of my suv had been ground down like shaving metal.  It was all the way down to the tires. 

Somehow in my shock and daze I managed to escape my vehicle and began walking home down

the middle of the interstate.  I remember hearing nothing.  Out of the blue a young man pulled his

car off to the emergency lane, jumped out, ran across 4 lanes of interstate traffic and tackled me

into the grassy median down the center of the interstate.  With no broken bones or gashing

wounds needing surgery I opted to be taken home.  Since my vehicle was filled with personal

medical data on patients (all my paperwork was strewn throughout my vehicle) police officers

allowed me to take my vehicle, towed to my home instead of sending it to impound for scrap.  

Dizzy, dazed, cofused and with vision blurry I made it home.  At the scene when the police

officers and rescue squad surveyed the damage to my suv they informed me that it was a miracle

I survived.  They insisted that I should not have been able to survive such a crash.  It was at that

point that I realized how lucky I was.  God had granted me a second chance at life.  I felt He

decided it was not my time to go and that He had unfinished business for me to attend.  With no

idea as to when or even if I would be able to return to work, and no money set aside for such an

event, attempting to secure a new vehicle was looking to be impossible.  No one wanted to make

such a risky type of loan.    One  dealership, who had heard my unbelievable story decided to

pursue the truth of the matter.   They were able to obtain a police report and realized that a

miracle had ocurred.  The suv I wanted was far out of my price range.  They decided to change

that situation.  They took thousands of dollars off the price of the vehicle, granted me a loan, and

I left in a Ford Escape.  I broke down in tears when they approached me with their offer.  God

truly does work miracles in our lives.  For months after the accident my condition failed to

improve, and it was confirmed with the severity of my concusion that I had sustained a brain

injury.I even suffered 4 months of being paralyzed.  If you  think you have a strong mariital

relationship try having your husband bathe you, do your hair,  makeup and clothing, as well as

feed you and brush your teeth.   Personally speaking he became quite good at his challenges of

taking care of me.  I would not drive for months, so he shuttled  me back and forth wherever I

needed to go.  I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.  I also had a severe change

in personality and became bipolar, and obessive compulsive, with intermittent rage disorder.  Talk

about a blow to one's self esteem.  I managed to keep my sense of humor, which took me a long

way.  I also had faith in God that all of this had a significant purpose, even though I surely did not

understand it at the time. While I endured the months of paralysis and sorrow of those who saw

me, I knew God did not save me from a fatal accinedt to be left in this condition.   During my

recovery and for many months following, I began to be confronted with others who had suffered

catastropic situations.  They wanted me to help them by telling my story, and how I had managed

to overcome this "new me" without falling apart.  It was then I realized that a big part of God's

will was to come to the emotional aid of others who were grieving and suffering.  I started a social

meeting site for people with issues of emotion could come and feel safe.  They could find

inspiration, peace, prayers and affirmations to work in their lives.  It began to restore my

confidence.  The doctors determined that emotionally and mentally I would never recover to a

point that would allow me to return to nursing.  My short term memory was shot.  Who would

want a nurse that couldn't remember if she gave you a shot? 

It was an unsafe situation.  Now I was faced with a sense of performance failure.  Here, at my

age in life, I had to recreate myself.  What does a nurse do when she can no longer be a nurse?  I

was at a total loss.  I became more and more reclusive, thinking everyone I encountered could

blatantly see through me and know of my disabilities.  I felt like I was stupid.   I began to hide

out behide the keyboard of my computer.  I joined Twitter.  If I had to say one indivual thing

began to bring me back to life, it was Twitter.  I met some of the most incredible, inteligent and

caring people I could have ever asked for.  Again, here was a blessing I was so grateful for.  I

learned a lot from my Twitter friends.  I probably learned more about computers than if I had

gone back to school.  Soon something began to imerge.  I saw a light on the horizon.  I love

working on the computer, so why not pursue it.  Today, I have started my own Virtual Assistant

Business.  Though my client list is quite short, I know that it will take time and paying my do

diligence to succeed.  I am confident I can do this.  I am ready to take classes through the local

college and adult learning center.  I read constantly on the subject.  Granted with my short term

memory deficit my desk looks like a humongous post it note.  My date book is filled with

remember this and that, as well as a journal of everything I do.  I started my journal shortly after

the accident, and today have virtually no memory of the entries I posted.  My vision finally

corrected, the dizziness and blackouts have ended.  I don't get lost everytime I go out, and I am

now able to maintain adequate attention to details.  It took a multitude of doctors, tests, scans,

and now a full regimen of medications to sustain me on an even keel.  My personality has calmed

down with the proper usage of the correct medications, and I will never be able to return to wor

outside my home.  I still find myself avoiding face to face meetings with people, even my closest

friends and family.  In time I hope this too will subside and I can return to something of the

outgoing life I once knew.  The Lord blessed me with life.  I am here for my children, my husband,

and at a distance, my friends.  The Lord works in very mysterious ways.  I also learned that in

order to survive we really don't need all the "stuff" we collect and thing we have to have.  We can

be financially broke and yet still enjoy the riches life has to offer.  God is present in our time of

need, and will not let us go hungry.

 

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