Being married and getting naked.

   Oh marriage... That one word that makes us or breaks us.  Just for my curious amusement I looked up marriage from the number one encyclopedia source.  Wikipedia. (Insert your "That is not a credible source site" face here please.)  Well, I looked it up because I wanted to be enlightened, but the definition alone confused me.  So I moved along.  Marriage is a contract between spouses ultimately the contract can be voided by divorce.  Again, moving along, to the point.

   I am married; I have been married for four years... Stop right there, do not pass go and judge me on my newly married life.  I know some couples have been together forever. Yeah. Congrats.  Anyway, I have noticed that my husband and I usually have a huge fight around the middle of the year for the past years.  It has turned into an annual event that I have to keep up with.  Hopefully it ends next year, but let us not get ahead of ourselves.  I wont mention what kind of fight we had or what started it; just know that it is his fault for not making right choices.  It is my fault for being really emotional.  Done... Both at fault.  Problem fixed? Sure, but as a wife who thinks of the funniest ways to get back at him, I do the following: 

Day 1. First day of fighting I dramatically leave the house and have him watch the kids. 

        Yes, mom time... The funny thing is I would drive off and park in a corner and figure out what the heck am I going to do?! I did not plan my dramatic exit out of the house.  So I plan it sitting in the car.  I am not hungry so no go on the restaurant plan, I don't think I need any more clothes, so no go on shopping.... AHA! I got it I want to watch a movie that I know he would never watch, so I go see a chick flick about a movie on self recognition and break ups! Perfect!  After the movie I glance at my phone, surprise, surprise, it is a text from the hubs saying, "Please come home." I go home, go straight to the room and lock the door.  He knows not to follow; he just got yelled at hours before.  I hear him getting the kids to bed while I put on a movie and not go to sleep.  He touches the doorknob and knows that the couch is calling his name.  I hear him go to the couch while I secretly sneak off to kiss the kids goodnight. James Bond status. 

Day 2. Plan a spontaneous day by finding the tiniest errand to run and meeting up with a close friend. 

    I wake up the next morning knowing my husband is off that day, so I make a list of things I have been meaning to do without my kids.  Deliver the letters to the dental office, return clothes to H&M, and meet up with one of my best friends while returning the clothes.  Genius. Out of the house again, I am on my own! I find my babies and kiss them whispering, "I'll be back baby." Terminator style. My husband asks where I am going, well no fluffy stuff, I tell him where I am going.  Errands, no you guys don't need to go with me.  I reach my destination and meet up with my best friend.  We have lunch, talk about life, and talk about how marriage is driving me nuts.  Don't get me wrong, I love marriage... But I don't like it all the time.  Note that time with a friend really helps get things out.  Now, I have a degree in counseling so I know that even counselors need people to talk to.  Can't keep my cool all the time.  Time flies by and before I know it, it is nighttime.  My husband made dinner and he sits with me while I am eating. Yes, we do talk... Yes, he gets to sleep in our room... No, he does not get to cuddle.  If you catch my drift. 

Day 3. Keep busy, go to the gym, and sleep NUDE!


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