Being pregnant AND sexy: sometimes you must explore to discover what works

Weight gain and body shape changes are something every expectant mom deals with. The physical shifts can be uncomfortable, dismaying… and even panic producing.

How does a woman deal with this in an empowering way?

She wants to find and focus on what works for her. She wants to take on an exploratory mindset. That’s what Tina did. 

Tina was someone who always really enjoyed her sexual side and her sex life with her husband. When her body started changing during pregnancy, she began to feel less desirable. Her boobs were bigger than she wanted and she didn’t think the new curves on her belly and hips were very attractive. She was feeling flabby and floppy and decidedly not like her normal sensual self. She resigned herself to the idea that her body was not her own for a while and that she had to step back from what she wanted in order to allow her body to do what it needed to do. Yet, as she was telling herself this, it didn’t feel good, it didn’t ring true. She’d found ways to maintain a strong, healthy body image at other times in her life, why couldn’t she now? She shifted her thinking into this inquiry: “How can I be a baby-making machine and feel sexually desirable?” Tina began to answer this one body part at a time.

First, she got herself a couple of racy bras that would hold the girls in place during bedroom playtime. It was different. She was used to nakedness being the most desirable. Yet, she got into seeing herself literally and enticingly pouring out of the bras she’d bought. Her husband was excited to see what she’d purchased. Things were changing in ways she hadn’t expected or originally wanted, but they were interesting changes. She began to understand that these shifts were good for their overall sex life and relationship. Both of their bodies were going to change in shape over time. And when this happened or they incurred new physical restrictions, she didn’t want to stop exploring how they could keep their chemistry strong.

Tina also experimented with body lotions and oils to promote skin firmness and reduce the chance of stretch marks. She’s not sure how much these worked, yet she enjoyed paying attention to her body and playing with different scents. She was getting acquainted with her body and her sexiness in a whole new way. This helped Tina during her pregnancy, certainly, and she was actually most excited about what her new-found insights meant for her future. She knew it would serve her and her husband throughout the rest of their lives to know that they could continue – regardless of circumstances – to find new and creative ways to embrace their bodies and turn each other on.

How are you exploring to continue to find what works for you?


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