Being a young mother can really suck at times! Yep, I said it.
By Simply June on June 12, 2011
There is a girl out there tonight, celebrating her birthday with my daughter. She is just about as good a friend as a girl could want and my little girl has been really thankful to have such a great friend. She is a pretty young wife and mother who is the same age as I was when I became a mom. They have already gone to dinner and partied a bit, so my birthday gift to Miss Whitney is a bit of advice. So here it goes:
I have been where you are. I think you are wonderful and Sophie is so lucky you’re her mom! You have a guy that really does love you and that alone sets you apart from half the women in the world. You know families are forever and you are married for eternity! All those things make you so blessed, but I know there are days you will tend to overlook all that so……..
When you have had enough of crying little babies, When your husband won’t help out, When your house is a mess and your jeans don’t fit like they used to, When you are frustrated to the point of tears, when you are holding that box of baby wipes and contemplating just how good your aim is, and your husbands head is the clear target, please know you are normal. (If you put down the wipes you may be a bit above normal, I threw the one I was holding)
You are a young mother, but as amazing and wonderful as motherhood is, you need to know that some days it is just really going to suck. Yep, I said it. You are going to feel frustrated and overwhelmed. And maybe you will wonder why motherhood seems to be so much easier for everyone else. There will be days when you just cry for no reason and days when you want to quit. And when you do think any, or all of these things, remember that I told you this:
When I married my husband, what he got was a 2 for 1 deal. I already had Josh and he loved us both more than I imagined was possible. Over the years I have wished that Brian and I had been given that time for just the two of us, that most couples have. You have a little one but that doesn’t mean you should forget about that guy you married! So, make sure you take advantage of all the awesome people in your life who want to babysit! Take an hour or what ever you can spare but make the time. You still need to date your husband. Sorry, but there is no easy fix or magic wand. A good marriage is a lifelong work in progress and the soon you get started the better.
Speaking of husbands, it is my opinion that they just can’t handle as much as we women can, especially when it comes to kids and the house. And men DEFINITELY struggle a bit when they are still considered newlyweds and a baby comes sooner than planned. I think it’s because of that darn Eve and her little problem she had with the fruit. I think part of our punishment, evolved from “pain with childbirth”. You see, sometimes women sneak through the system and don’t have all the pain that was previously planned. You know what I mean? Things like, drugs & epidurals have been life savers but the price we pay for that is that men just don’t mature as fast as we do. It’s annoying but we cant change it. It takes a few years or a couple of kids for them to at least catch up at least to the point where it is not embarrassing. So, I know it is hard, but be as patient with them as possible before you get mad.
There is not a mother on the planet that has never felt frustrated. Even the moms with lots of money and nannies. Why on earth do you think they have nannies?! They must be easily frustrated but the secret is, sometimes you just got to chill out. You know those of us mothers, like me, who are laid back and seem to just go with the flow? We have been mothers for long enough to know how to let some stuff go. Some of the things young mothers stress about are not worth the stress. Sometimes I am relaxed and smiling just sitting on my front porch. But I am smiling because inside, my house looks like an episode of hoarders! I know it’s a mess and I just don’t care! So, I wave at my neighbors, sip my diet coke and if I must, I will take out the visiting teachers if they try to get past me. As I said…Just go with the flow! Relax! Try it…It is AWESOME!
You are a young mother and sometimes you will look at the other girls your age and feel like you are missing out on life. I have been there and I can tell you this… Most of your friends are thinking how great it must be to be married. You are going to be a fun, young mom when your kids are teenagers. So you may miss out on a few singles dances where random weirdo’s hit on you, but you will be young enough and look good enough to dance at your grandkids high school graduation party without breaking a hip! You’re going to love it!
You have lots of people who love you, like you and will help you if you just let them.
This is the toughest job you will ever have but it’s more than worth it. Once you really accept and understand that, you can start each day fresh and ready to try again.
This is the last and most important advice I have. I promise you this works. It has never failed me. It is impossible to stay mad at your spouse when you take the time to kneel down with them each night. I have never been able to hold on to my frustration when I hear the man I love pray sincerely for our little family. Believe me! I have tried!! But, I know when I have found it hard to say to Brian that I was wrong or that I am sorry, it comes out much easier in prayer to my Heavenly Father. When you sincerely pour out your heart in prayer that person kneeling next to you will know how you really feel. It is for this very reason that when Brian and I say our prayers together, we say them out loud. It’s just about impossible to feel alone and hopeless when you turn your attention, as a team, in the right direction. It’s like I’ve always said…. It’s the simple things that will matter. Pray together, Have Faith and don’t give up. It’s as simple as that. Happy Birthday -- Love June
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