Bachelor Ben and Courtney Sittin' in a Tree

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We all know what they're doing, right? 

K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Well, maybe not. Knowing these two, they're sitting in a couple of hot seats anxiously awaiting the season finale of The Bachelor to air and reveal what we've all known since the second or third episode. Yes, Ben proposed to Courtney. Yes, they've already broken up. No, Ben never saw it coming because you can fool some people some of the time but you can always fool Ben. Always. 

Image courtesy of ABC

First comes love. Excuse me while I laugh. No, there was never any love. Courtney was unabashedly insincere every moment in front of the camera. And I know I'm being rather harsh for someone I don't even know so if I come off as a self-righteous judgmental prick, it's because I am. But how fake can you be? How dumb can you be? We all saw the most ridiculous behavior from the same person week after week and she had to possess enough intelligence to know that one day Ben would watch the show as edited and come to the same conclusion as everyone else. Sometimes, I wish there were cameras on me Monday nights during the show to catch every distinct contortion my face made. I swear, I would have given Cathy, the comic strip character, a run for her money.

Ben fell in something with Courtney, but my bet is that it wasn't love. Oh, she's so beautiful and a model. He was beyond smitten with what she looked like that there was no room for his eyes to see who she truly was. Even in those moments when he started to doubt her sincerity from the constant prodding of the other woman, he couldn't see the ugliness there and plain for him to see. He looked at her the way Noah looked at Allie; but Courtney never looked at Ben the way Allie looked at Noah. She didn't even look at him the way Allie looked at Lon. Courtney looked at Ben the way Mrs. Calhoun looked at Mr. Calhoun; she'd tolerate him, she'd love him, she'd be who he needed her to be to get what she really wanted. Remember that scene where Allie and her mother get into a heated argument after she misses curfew?

"You don't look at Daddy the way I look at Noah. You don't touch or laugh. You don't play. You don't know anything about love."

Because we've all seen couples where one person seems infinitely less invested in their lover's well-being and more invested in the relationship. The relationship is the vehicle to changing the course of their life. It leaves no room for feelings of love. In Courtney's place, her relationship with Ben took her Puerto Rico, Panama, Belize, and Switzerland. It will take her to the cover of People magazine and if she's smart and has the right agent and manager, she'll end up on a couple of runways during fashion week in New York and Paris.

Then comes marriage? No. Then comes Courtney's season as the grand prize on The Bachelorette. If two stints on an eleven week reality show doesn't shoot her into reality stardom, then nothing will and her 15 minutes are up. But then comes a slew of men. A slew of rich, famous, eligible Bachelors who've undoubtedly fallen in love with her "beauty" and who are looking for love in the form of a quasi famous model who's already grown thick enough skin to handle the paparazzi, tabloids, and disgruntled fans. 

In reality, Courtney doesn't seem as bad as we all make her out to be. Yes, she's selfish and self-interested, manipulative and calculating. But I just pegged her for a pretty face and she's so much more than that. If she maneuvers this gig on The Bachelor into a lucrative career or successful marriage as a trophy wife to some multi-millionaire, she's genius. And before anyone starts to feel a bit of sympathy for poor Ben, let's not forget he's not blameless. His blind infatuation with Courtney led him to reject a handful of women who were seemingly sincere in their affection and devotion.

And what if he picked Lindzi? He didn't. Even though he really likes her, even though he said he's in love with her and could see himself spending the rest of his life with this woman, he'll still choose Courtney. Over the course of the season, we've never seen him make one intelligent decision when Courtney's a factor and that's not about to change tonight with the season finale. At this point, I'd rather know that Lindzi left Switzerland with a broken heart and is somewhere out there living her life and falling in love away from the cameras. 

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