Bend and Snap!


I’m sick of all the rules regarding attraction and dating. 
Such as…
Ladies shouldn’t go up to a man first, it comes off as too aggressive. They should go 7 feet to his diagonal, wait until he looks over then smile, thus inviting him to approach.
 Ladies let’s all invest in a tape measure and practice standing exactly 7 feet away from things.

Then there’s the texting nonsense where you can read into everything. Does he text you between noon and 5pm? Then he thinks you are girlfriend material. After 5pm you are an afterthought or a replacement for plans that fell through so he is not really interested. And heaven forbid you text back right away, because that will surely send him running.

Online dating has rules too.
Wait at least one day to respond and never sign in or send a message on a Friday or Saturday night, you need to look busy!

I’m used to going after what I want but with men it simply can’t be done. I hate that I can’t talk to the person I want to talk to because contacting someone first makes you the weaker one. “Women can’t wear a guy down. It only works the other way around.” – A guy.

You should go after what you want in life, unless you’re a single female going after a guy. It can’t be done. Instead you must prance around him in your cutest outfits. Get a blowout, buy new lipstick. Wear heels and stand exactly 7 feet to his diagonal. Bend and snap. You have to make him think it was all his idea in the first place.

The worst part about all these rules is that they are true. But I can’t follow all of them. The rules are just going to have to bend because following them all is enough to make a girl snap.


Men may not fully understand that women feel pressure to look like a Barbie doll.  I’ve always wanted to be a Barbie and when they finally came out with one named Becky, I was ecstatic! She was in a wheelchair.  I think that pretty much says it all. I will never be Barbie, just the handicapped version of her.

It is brutal to date in New York City.  A guy once told me that, “If you are a successful young guy in Manhattan and relatively attractive, it is almost like being a rock star.”  Men have  super models to choose from in this city.  What could a girl next door like me have to offer in order to compete?

So, we ‘Barbie-up’.  Women get boob jobs, hair extensions, fake nails, lip stains, whiten their teeth, nose jobs, eyebrows waxed…I could go on.  We put on and take off so much in order to be ‘ideal’.  I obviously wear a push-up bra.  You may ask, what is there to even push up?!  Well Sir, you are a douche for asking that. But am I a douche for making you think that I have a larger cup size than I do?  Are men so disappointed when girls take off their bras and suddenly there is a perky A as opposed to a bouncy B?  Probably.  That is what makes me sad. 

We spend a lot of time trying to look amazing to impress the opposite sex, myself included.  Looks are obviously important. It’s what attracts us to a person to start that conversation so we can find out how amazing they are. We don’t just go up to someone in a bar we are not attracted to even if they may turn out to be the person of our dreams. 

Yes, as women we want to be told we are gorgeous, but I think men need to start complimenting things other than just looks.  I am more turned on when I guy sincerely reads something I’ve written and has an opinion on it then if he gives me a “you are pretty.”  Believe me, the sincerity of “you are pretty because you can write and are beautiful” holds so much more meaning.
I can’t change the world, but men, you can change how you treat women.

She was ‘Share a Smile Becky’.  That’s me alright!


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