What Bisexuality Is Not

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I'm not entirely sure how to start this topic so I'll just say flat out: I'm a bisexual woman. For me this means I enjoy emotional and physical relationships with men and women alike. Let me tell you what, for me, this doesn't mean:

It does not mean I'm confused about my sexuality.

It does not mean I like 'playing gay' to turn men on.

It does not mean I'm promiscuous.

It does not mean I haven't found the right man or woman to turn me definitively one way or the other.

It does not mean that I'm going to cheat while in a relationship because if I'm with a woman I MUST be thinking about sex with men or if I'm with a man I MUST be thinking about sex with women.

It does not mean I need a religious conversion to fix me.

Bisexuals

Image: nerdcoregirl via Flickr


I am a proud, confident, self assured bisexual woman. I love people and I see the innate beauty in both genders and have a deep and profound appreciation of that beauty. I have had loving relationships with men and women, I've lived happily with men and women, and yes I've had great sex with men and women. And since I love both I have no strong inclination towards one over the other.

Physically and emotionally both genders offer things that the other doesn't obviously. There's no point delving into what these things are because this could quickly deteriorate into a list of stereotypes. But to say that because I'm with one gender I'm going to miss being with the other (or end up cheating) is idiotic and small-minded. EVERYONE offers something emotionally and physically that someone else doesn't. If we all had the same things to offer there would be no compatibility issues, no relationship issues, no reason to ever date anyone but the first person you ever dated. Hell, there'd be no reason to date at all, we could just pick someone at random and stick with 'em for life.

When I in a relationship I don't feel compelled to be faithful to that entire gender just that one person.

I have no confusion about my sexuality and tend to gravitate to people who have no confusion about it. Men who think I just need to get laid by their somehow magical woman straightening dick are typically dicks themselves and have no place in my world. Women who think bisexual women are nasty for wanting dick sometimes, they're pretty much dicks too so again, not in my world. Open minded, understanding, intelligent people are my friends (you can't pick your family but you can pick which family members are your friends) so rarely do I have to explain the concept of bisexuality.

However to those delusional men and women who think their ultra potent sexual skills are just the thing I need to make me forget getting laid by any other sex but theirs, please believe I've had good and proper, mind blowing sex with both genders! How good? So good I wanna keep fucking 'em both, thank you very much! And no, that doesn't mean I wanna cheat on one with the other (*eyes rolling*). Get off it, why dontcha, geez.

Occasionally I'm put in a position to defend my sexuality and this irks me because most often it's to religious zealots who aren't generally very understanding or tolerant of anyone who doesn't follow their book so it's like talking to a self-righteous brick wall, or, oddly enough, members of the gay community who spend all their energy and breath fighting for equality for everyone but bisexuals. There was a time when I hated seeing the acronym LGBT because the 'B' was rarely represented and usually outcast. Now I say screw 'em for hating on their own and will happily attend Pride celebrations with my lovingly supportive male fiancé and our son.





So that's who I am as a bisexual woman. Despite all the stereotypes, hypocrisies, and negativity heaped on me by even my 'peers'. Or maybe because of it all. Maybe all the outside confusion and hatred has given me the opportunity to truly think about who I am in the face of all the bullshit. Conclusion: it's all bullshit and I rock! The end.

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