Most Popular

Big Fat Mouth: Body Image Panel at BlogHer07

  • Share This Post
  • Pin It
  • 2
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

There's so much to tell about going to BlogHer07 but I'm going to start first with a controversial item. (I know it's controversial because it makes my stomach hurt when I think about it.)

I attended the Our Bodies Our Selves session at BlogHer07. Based on both the description and the panel it made the session sound like an intelligent and well round discussion about BOTH weight loss and fat acceptance. Wendy McClure was also on the panel and I was excited to meet her and see what she would have to contribute to the discussion. Her book I'm Not The New Me was a funny, insightful and humorous look at her experience trying to do Weight Watchers. This is the session description;

"There are weight-loss blogs, and there are healthy eating blogs, and there are fat acceptance blogs. The one thing they have in common: a lot of them are written by women. While a lot of them get support and positive reinforcement and encouragement from their readers, a lot of them also get some really strong reactions from people who don't want to hear about women dealing with body image “ and don't want to worry about whether or not society is responsible�, for everything from obesity to anorexia to the pressure to conform to some unattainable ideal. Can blogging be the perfect vehicle to expose and break unhealthy influences and build a healthy identity that isn't tied to how we look? Jenny Lauck moderates this conversation with Laurie Toby Edison, Wendy McClure and Yvonne Marie, who are tackling the touchy topic head-on." - BlogHer07 Schedule

Had I spent some time reading about the pre-show controversy surrounding this discussion I might have opted to sit and shut it. Some objected to having McClure on the panel because she seemed to advocate weight loss and Weight Watchers. This confused me since (again) the session promised a discourse on BOTH weight loss blogs and fat acceptance ones. To not include panelists from each end of the spectrum would not make for a balanced discussion.

At any rate, I stood up and introduced myself. Told the group how we had our Future MILF group and that yes, I knew the name was controversial but that we took it in a mocking tone. Making fun of the idea that we had to live up to the prescribed stereotype of a MILF. I went on to say that I found it liberating and helpful to be able to finally speak with honest language. To be able to call myself a fatass instead of using polite euphemism like "Womanly Wide". The group laughed and I sat down, nervous for having spoken first. Then the reactions came. I was fully prepared for objections to my comments, but not so much for the ganging up that occurred. The moderator overlooked my raised hand as I wanted to rebuttal the MANY women she called on that said that my perspective was anti-woman and terrible. Or that they felt sorry for me.

Finally, I got the moderator to call on me again. I stood up and said that "I think it's most important that we NOT attempt to tell women what they can and can not say about their own bodies. Personally, I'm fat because for years I shoved down feelings of shame and anxiety. So to be able to diminish those same words that made me once cringe is part of my journey." I think the idea that we should tell women what they could or could not say was an inarguable feminist statement. So instead the moderator cautioned me to be careful about not attempting to criticize myself before others could and then dismissed the session. Gah!

Coming to BlogHer was a lesson in managing nerves and insecurities. Would women look better than me (yes), be thinner (yes and yes) or be better dressed (of course). When I hurriedly got ready that morning I accidentally grabbed a tee shirt from my bigger days, then walked in the rain stretching out the top to three times the normal size. I later exploded a bottle of Pepsi on my soggy maternity like top. Then plunked my purse down in the AUTOMATIC SINK and looked down to see my Le Sac bag filled to the top with water. Ruined my camera and my business cards. So what did I do? Did I cry, freak out or run home. Hell no. I wanted to. But instead I made fun of myself, joked about

  • 2
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Comments

Post comment as twitter logo facebook logo
Sort: Newest | Oldest
momomatic 5 pts

Jenny,

Very gracious of you to reply, as I fear I was not so gracious in my post.

It was a short time period for such a loaded subject. And as I said in the post, had I done a little pre-research regarding the topic I would not have started the conversation with the "lardass" opener. The word seemed to eclipse the idea I was trying to talk about. (Turning fat words that used to shame you into something funny so you can brush them off and move on).

In general I think it's frustrating to try and put out a sticky opinion in a group discussion. There is no guarantee you will get to to contribute more or clarify as the conversation progresses. But it's difficult to be so zen about it when you are in the moment.

I think your self-deprecating comments were dead on as a general comment. I bristled because it felt like you were speaking to me directly and it just didn't apply. But as a blogger I'm a natural narcissist. (What do you mean it's not about me!) so that could have been my hotheaded perception.

At any rate, thanks for the discussion and your nice response.

Jenny Lauck 5 pts

I'm just now catching up with post-BlogHer recaps, and I wanted to let you know I hear you on this.

My comments about the reasons behind the self-deprecating humor that many of us use to take the sting out of hateful words was perhaps ill-timed, in light of your heartfelt contributions. As a woman who has struggled with her weight and body acceptance issues, I was speaking from my own perspective. I want you to know I was speaking to the group in general, not to you individually. I apologize if you felt that your thoughts were cut short or belittled. With only 75 minutes to explore these difficult topics, and a sea of hands in front of me, I found myself wishing for a longer, and perhaps more intimate setting for this very loaded discussion.

The Circus is in town! ( http://www.threekidcircus.com )