Birthday parties: when did they get so complicated?

The best bar mitzvah I ever attended had no food, or party afterwards. They ordered food, but after the ceremony, all of the guests were led by the man of honor to the local homeless shelter, to donate all of the food we would have gorged on, and tossed away.

It was the boy's idea, too. I've never been so proud.

His section of the Torah was about service to others, and it really motivated him.

Short of that, I do not wish I was in your place right now lol

FeeFiFoto

I'm free of birthdaystravaganza planning just in time to begin planning a Bar Mitzvah that will keep up with the Jonesbergs, not so much because I or my son want it that way, but because my mother does.

Wow...birthday parties for kids ! They are outrageous. In my daughter's age group (9-12) many moms are getting hotel rooms for overnight. I guess the "party" is the night out and swimming in the pool late at night and ordering room service. This costs a couple a hundred dollars !! Talk about crazy. For my daughter, I do the same thing every year (it's Memorial Day weekend so that makes it nicer). I have a little cookout in the backyard, some balloons, ice cream & cake, her favorite songs on a cd and playing a little louder than I usually allow, and a few friends and cousins, aunts, uncle, Dad and grandparents. So far it is always fun. She will be 11 this year & always complains about "this is for babies" but she has the time of her life each year so I will keep it simple and cheap for as long as I can.

Oh I so agree with you on OTC, being a little bit crafty, and water balloons!

My pet peeve with kids' parties is "activities" that involve parental hovering. LIke this one party for a bunch of 2 and 3 year olds where they were all supposed to make plaster casts of some fake fossils in sand trays. The parents of all the little kids just did all the work, and were really stressed out trying to make the kids participate, while obviously the kids didn't care.

Went to another one for a 4 year old, with a band, and a pony, and a magician, and a caterer, and a reptile petting zoo all at once. Talk about overkill. I'll certainly never forget it!

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Liz Henry ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... )
lizzard@bookmaniac.net ( http://liz-henry.blogspot.com/ )
Contributing Editor, World and Latin America
( http://www.blogher.com/blog/liz-henry )

Our parties do tend to get overcomplicated, but not in expensive ways.  My best parties involve giant refrigerator boxes that I get for free from behind the appliance store.

- Godzilla party, save all cardboard boxes of all sizes, spraypaint them gray well ahead of time. Buy Sharpie markers + duct tape.  Invite kids to create a skyscraper city.  After the city is well along the way take some photos and then release the Godzillas, i.e. let the kids stomp the city flat.   For this party we also got an adult to dress in grey with a motorcycle helmet on (as Mechagodzilla)  And the party ended by passing out 200 water balloons for the kids to defend the ruined city from Mechagodzilla.   200 water balloons is not quite enough.

-  Pirate ship battle.   Giant outlines of ships.   2 gross of ping pong balls spraypainted black. Eyepatches.

- Reptile party.  Bag of 1000 pipe cleaners, tempera paints, 10 each wooden lizards and snakes (cheap from Oriental Trading Company).  Make your own reptiles.

- Hiding chocolate all over the yard goes well with any party.

- Always make your own piñata, it is way more fun.

-----------------
Liz Henry ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... )
lizzard@bookmaniac.net ( http://liz-henry.blogspot.com/ )
Contributing Editor, World and Latin America
( http://www.blogher.com/blog/liz-henry )

As the Mom, you have to control them.  You did well to listen to what your child wanted and go the simple root.  Once my son and daughter hit elementary school - the invite everyone you know parties with families and friends were ended. Some of my friends made much more money than me and there was a group of them who tried to out-impress each other and kept upping the ante!

I took cake and icecream to their schools.  Then, they could have 1 or 2 friends over for a sleepover the following weekend and we'd do what they liked.

One of the best birthday parties I ever attended was given by my former roommate.  We took the kids applepicking in her van.  It rained for about 20 minutes while we were there, so we ate the sandwiches we'd prepared in the van.  The drizzle stopped and they picked apples and had cupcakes in the orchard.  They still talka bout it to this day.

blog.candelariasilva.com

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Good and plenty!

When my daughter was in preschool, I read that parents were spending around $50/kid on the gift bags.

You've got the be kidding me. WHAT parents are doing this? How many of those little plastic tile puzzles could you buy for $50?! ;)

My daughter is REALLY into anime and manga, so this year for her 11th bday, we rented the local grange hall (no clean up!) and threw her party there ($20).

We played a movie that we own($0), bought supplies at the dollar store($10), got a tray of sushi ($20) and a couple cheap cheese pizzas ($15). I made the cupcakes with a Studio Ghibli theme ($5 plus my time) and served bubble tea ($5) and water ($0).

I bought paper lanterns from Oriental Trading ($15) for decorations, and did a super easy/cheap craft with paper we bought at the dollar store ($1). The paper lanterns + chopsticks + asian candy ($5) from the local asian market made up their goody bags.

So we threw a 3 1/2 hour themed party for 10 girls, at dinner time, for $100.

And I was a total rock star to my daugher that day.

(Here are the cupcakes I made, for any Studio Ghibli fans. I'm overly proud of them: http://www.homeschooledyear.com/?p=1403 )

You don't have to spend a ton to have a great party, and what matters is that the kids are having fun. I've seen kids have more fun with a bag of balloons than a petting zoo/pony rides! Fill those balloons with water, add cake and your job is done! lol

Don't even get me started on what brides are "supposed" to spend on the people in their bridal party!

I'm always astounded at parties so huge that you get minimal face time with the person of honor.  Just like some weddings, some of these parties are strictly for the parents. But I should fully disclose that I designate my husband as driver and happily partake when alcohol is served!

Kia

http://theseagreenhouse.blogspot.com ( http://theseagreenhouse.blogspot.com/ )

Totally agree - My daughter turns three next week, and we're not having a big party at a museum or play space or whatHAVEyou.  Aside from the obvious excess (wouldn't the money be better spent on her college fund?), I have two concerns about these parties:

1)  If we make everything special, doesn't that mean that nothing is?

2)  When we attend those parties, there are lots of guests and the venue tends to be large.  As a result, we barely even see, much less play with, the guest of honor.  Doesn't that defeat the purpose of celebrating someone else's birthday?  It's just a chance for the kids to play, without recognizing WHY they are there in the first place.

Awesome post!

I am a mother of two young boys and could not agree with you more.  Whatever happened to simple?  Now we are being invited to Christenings and First Holy Communions at big reception halls with DJs and catering and enormous guest lists.  I can't stand it!  I went to a 1st Birthday party last year that was perfect.  A backyard party with a ton of kids, food from the grill, and lots of old fashioned games including a balloon toss.