Blissfully All Alone
By FatCat on June 24, 2012
We planned our weekend and yesterday after the local parade was my time to head out for a run. I wanted to, but I didn't want to. I did the dishes. I got dressed in my running clothes and did some laundry. I ate an apple. I looked outside at the rain and wondered if I should ditch my plans. But I did not.
I loaded myself and the dog into the car and drove to the hills. I didn't really have a vision of where I wanted to run and I thought I'd be cold and I was quite content to not run. But I didn't.
I parked on the dirt road and began a painful slow jog fully of cranky body and attitude. The road started to slope down a bit which made it hard to stay cranky. I considered turning back at one mile and then decided to go one and a half miles and then decided to go two miles (which is what I'd wanted to do originally - making a four mile run total).
At the two mile point, I turned and began the gentle uphill and at some point in that mile, I realized I was going far faster than I had the other direction. I had a relatively good stride and my mood was better. I enjoyed seeing my arms moving back and forth. I felt streamlined and I began to realize how dang beautiful it was outside.
The rain brought out all the green of the hills. The air was fresh. And NOBODY else was around. How is it that we can live on such a crowded planet and in crowded cities and I can live in a place I complain about and then have such great moments like this where I'm all alone in the beautiful outside. I appreciated it and loved it and continued running at a decent clip (for me) until I got to the car.
The plan for this morning was a bike ride over "the pass". I am not fond of biking which is why I think I need to bike a bit more. The pass seemed like a suitable challenge physically and mentally. It's not much of a pass, but around here it is. I think it's four miles from the bottom to the other side. I'd decided I only needed to bike there (five miles) and then bike to the top (two or three miles?).
But this morning it took me well over 30 minutes to get out of the house. I had to go to the bathroom. I didn't know what to wear. I needed some water. I didn't want to bike in the rain (it wasn't even raining). And yet I somehow got myself out of the house and onto the bike.
The bike ride there was grumbly. I grumbled. My legs had no energy. My bike was heavy. I was pretty certain I wouldn't be able to go up the hill. I decided I could just turn around and go home. I reflected that I like running better than biking. I grumbled negative thoughts some more and some more, but somewhere in there I also got lost in my head a bit (a good thing) and then found myself turning to go over the pass.
It was not easy and my bike does not shift into the best uphill gears. I was very slow. I was pleasantly sweaty. I was aware that my clothing was perfect for the morning. I was also aware that I was going slow enough for mosquitos to just "hang" with me, but really I only saw one.
And then I got to the top and felt downright pleased. And the world was all of a sudden more beautiful.
And as I biked down and back towards home I loved my small town and this part on the planet where I live and my husband and my family and ..... and then I had to go uphill a bit and I didn't feel as much love for things. Grinning, but I got through that and continued home and it wasn't a bad ride at all.
I arrived home to find the living room the same disaster it was when I left and a husband emerging from the just cleaned kitchen with fresh coffee in hand in MY favorite mug just for me. (He rather lucked out with my timing home since he had just brewed a cup for him, but I like the idea that he had a psychic connection and knew I was going to be home any minute)
The kids woke up and came down all snuggly and huggy and smiley and my husband cooked up the pancake batter (with flax seed) that he'd already prepared and we had a nice breakfast.
Tonight we're going on a date. I'm going to eat more than is prudent. My weight on the scale is staying firmly 38 pounds lighter than the start of my process and 8 pounds away from a healthy BMI, but I'm still moving forward. Perhaps I'm not shedding any pounds, but I'm still working on this different lifestyle thing.
And hopefully in the upcoming weeks I will pick up the exercising some more or knock of the bountiful eating a tad. I'm so glad to not be back in last week!