katstone's blog

Six Things You Should Avoid If You Have Postpartum Depression

2009-05-28T21:25:27-05:00

1. Scary Stuff

Women with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders can be very suggestible. What does that mean? It means you can hear or see something disturbing and then suddenly be convinced it relates directly to you. You can get a scary idea in your head and then not be able to get rid of it -- it can sometimes get stuck in there and endlessly terrorize you. It's best to surround yourself as much as possible with positive images so that upsetting thoughts don't get the chance to enter your mind.

Avoid horror movies and scary books. Don't watch too much news, and don't surf the internet carelessly. Be very choosy about which websites you go to and which discussion forums you join. Some "mommy websites" don't have trained moderators running their PPD forums, and you'll run into well-meaning women telling you exactly what you need to do, and not do, to get better. They don't know you and they don't know exactly what you need. Each person responds differently to treatment. Some take meds and some don't. Some have side effects and some don't. Some have a great doctor and some don't. Some get better quickly and some don't. If you spend all day comparing yourself to what women on the internet have done you can drive yourself crazy. Try to go to safer sites, where trained peer support and/or research-based information are offered, like Postpartum Support International, the Online PPD Support Group, MedEdPPD, Postpartum Progress or your state's local support organization.

2. An Overscheduled Life

Does it all need to get done right now? Really? Or is your health more important? A spotless house, empty laundry basket and dishwasher, three-course meal and five different mom and baby classes aren't necessary. The more you give yourself to do, the more you're likely to beat yourself up when you can't do it all perfectly. And trust me, you can't do it all.

3. Thought Monkeys

The fabulous blogger at Sophie in the Moonlight calls the negative thoughts that most of us with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders experience "thought monkeys". Many of us unwittingly lend a hand to our illness by accepting these negative thoughts; by telling ourselves we are bad people and defective mothers. I love how Sophie has brought this to life:

"Thought Monkeys [are] my name for those incredibly destructive, deeply internalized, mischievous thoughts that jump and screech inside my mind, demanding attention, demanding action NOW. Look at us NOW ... The Thought Monkeys even have names. In no particular order they introduce themselves as follows: "I'm Not Enough of, at or for Anything", "I'm A Big Burden"; "I'm Unlovable"; "My name is "The World Would Be Better Off Without Me" and her close cousin "I'm Not Worthy to Breathe In This Air Shared By My Friends and Family"; and my least favorite says "I'm To Blame For Every Abusive Thing That Has Ever Been Done to Me My Entire Life". Aren't they sweet? Each one is uglier than the last and they each think they are the most important one. Hateful little creatures."

Sophie challenges each thought monkey. She avoids believing they are true. She fights back with her own mind, argues with herself that these thoughts are wrong. We have to do the same. We can't contribute to and even further our suffering by accepting that these thoughts are reality. They aren't. They are part of the temporary disease.

4. Unsupportive People

It may help to temporarily avoid or limit your time with people who blame you for your illness or don't try to understand, as well as people who are judgmental or don't support your treatment and recovery path. You need positive and supportive people on your side, so spend as much time with those people as possible. And even if you don't find them among your friends and family, you will find them among the women who have been through these illnesses, so try and find a support group in your area.

5. Procrastination

Many recent studies show that both the physical and emotional health of untreated women and their children can be negatively impacted over the long term. Babies whose mothers have untreated depression during pregnancy, for instance, are twice as likely to be born prematurely. Prematurity can lead to health problems and developmental delays.

There is just no good reason to wait it out if you are ill, either during pregnancy or postpartum. Avoid procrastination. I know you're scared, but it's important to reach out to a doctor and let him or her know what's going on. As Karen Kleiman, author of "This Isn't What I Expected: Overcoming Postpartum Depression," wrote in a comment on Postpartum Progress:

"Sometimes people feel that a risk is greater if they 'do' something or take action, as opposed to just letting things be. Life, 'If I get on that airplane during the storm, the risk will be greater than if I don't go.' That seems pretty clear.

Conversely, there are times when the risk is in fact higher when no action is taken, such as the decision not to do anything in response to having chest pains.

This is the case with women who are pregnant or postpartum. Women who are deciding whether or not to take medication are understandable unsettled by having to make this decision. Often they feel if they 'take' the medication they are taking an action or engaging in behavior, or making a choice that increases the risk, or so they believe. Thus, they feel it would be better to do nothing.

But we know that in many of these cases, it is NOT better to do nothing and NOT TAKING ACTION can be detrimental; it can significantly increase the risk potential, particularly for women who are severely ill. So it's a perception thing. We perceive the risk to be greater if we take action. If I put this pill in my mouth I will be hurting myself or my baby. But it's a faulty perception. Sometimes the risk is much greater when we do not act."

This doesn't just apply to the issue of medication, of course, because not every woman needs medication. It's simply a great illustration of how procrastination can hurt you in the end. And, by the way, did you know that difficulty making decisions is a symptom of postpartum depression? You may have to push yourself a little bit harder to take that step of reaching out for help.

6. Acting Like You Have A Medical Degree

Unless you graduated from medical school and have completed your residency, you shouldn't be diagnosing yourself. If you think you might have a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder, seek a trained a professional to tell you whether you simply have the baby blues or something more. And for goodness sake, if you're taking medication, you don't get to decide to stop it cold turkey or reduce the dose without discussing it with your doctor first. Doing that to yourself could do more harm than good.

When Will The Breastfeeding Mommy Wars End?

2009-05-12T12:32:40-05:00

My friend Adrienne Griffin pointed out to me a recent article in the Atlantic called "The Case Against Breastfeeding". I think the title goes a little far, as breastfeeding is of course just fine. The title should have read "The Case Against Acting Like Breastfeeding Is the Only Way to Be a Good Mom." Author Hannah Rosin compares the medical literature on breastfeeding with the pop culture view on breastfeeding and finds out how much the two differ, after discussing her potential plans to stop breastfeeding her baby:

"One afternoon at the playground last summer, shortly after the birth of my third child, I made the mistake of idly musing about breast-feeding to a group of new mothers I’d just met. This time around, I said, I was considering cutting it off after a month or so. At this remark, the air of insta-friendship we had established cooled into an icy politeness, and the mothers shortly wandered away to chase little Emma or Liam onto the slide. Just to be perverse, over the next few weeks I tried this experiment again several more times. The reaction was always the same: circles were redrawn such that I ended up in the class of mom who, in a pinch, might feed her baby mashed-up Chicken McNuggets."

This from a mom who didn't suffer postpartum depression. Adrienne, the founder of Postpartum Support Virginia, pointed out that breastfeeding is often the #1 topic of discussion in some of the PPD support groups she has helped lead, as this issue often causes such pain for moms who are suffering. Some moms want to breastfeed but can't due to low supply, or because baby can't suck, or perhaps because they're on medication contraindicated in breastfeeding. Sometimes this actually leads them into their depression. Other moms refuse to get treated for postpartum depression or anxiety because they don't want to be on medication while breastfeeding, all the while often unaware of the potential dangers of untreated postpartum depression for both mother and child. Some moms don't want to breastfeed, whether they are or aren't depressed, but do it while miserable to keep up with the Joneses. For other moms who are depressed, breastfeeding is the only thing that helps them feel close to their child and they continue on while getting treated at the same time. There is no one-size-fits all story around whether moms should or shouldn't breastfeed.

It's too bad the Atlantic article didn't point out the effect the breastfeeding mystique has on women with postpartum depression and related illnesses. It would have been a great supporting point to her piece. If you read any of the stories from the Mother's Day Rally for Mom's Mental Health -- such as this one from Sophie in the Moonlight -- you can see how much moms are affected by the expectation that they will and should breastfeed if they truly love their babies. You can find another great story on the issue of breastfeeding and postpartum depression -- A Mother Without A Breast -- here, written by Lisa Sniderman. And still another great piece, which references the same Atlantic article, by Morra Aarons Mele on BlogHer about the breastfeeding debate in general, with lots of comments from readers.

Interestingly enough, Therese Borchard just wrote about this very subject today on Beyond Blue after receiving some negative comments on her post for the Mother's Day Rally for Moms' Mental Health, like this one:

Dear New Mothers,
Don’t make the same mistake this writer did. Learn the real facts about breastfeeding and depression medication. Know that there are options that can both treat your completely legitimate mental health needs and preserve your breastfeeding relationship. Know that your needs and your baby’s needs are not always in conflict. Breastfeeding need not be a soul-crushing, life-stealing endeavor. Indeed, you might find (as many do, as I do) that it is a life preserver, that it sustains and nurtures you and your baby through the good times and the bad.

Actually, the only thing new mothers need to know is that some moms can breastfeed and some moms can't -- for some it's a life preserver and for some it's an anchor -- yet all can have loving, healthy relationships with their babies regardless.

I couldn't breastfeed, even though I was being treated for my postpartum OCD. Breastfeeding exacerbated my anxiety, as I was constantly and consistently FREAKED OUT over how much milk my son was getting. My breast did not have ounce markings on it, and that was enough to cause me unrelenting worry. This was all made worse by the fact that the nurses in the hospital nursery chose to supplement him with formula to help his jaundice, without my knowledge, causing horrible nipple confusion and a refusal to latch on. For me, stopping breastfeeding in the end was one thing, among others, that allowed me to calm down and focus on getting better while at the same time not being hysterical when it came to the feeding of my child.

I look forward to the day when women support each other in their choices, including breastfeeding. We all travel down different roads.

Mother's Day Rally for Moms' Mental Health Features Top Mommybloggers & Parenting Authors

2009-05-04T18:09:42-05:00

This Mother's Day -- Sunday, May 10 -- Postpartum Progress will host the first annual Mother's Day Rally for Moms' Mental Health. This online event will feature 24 open letters to new mothers on the importance of maternal mental health. All of the letters will be written by survivors of and experts on perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, including postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis, as well as by others who care about the emotional well-being of moms and moms-to-be.

Each hour, on the hour, for 24 hours straight, Postpartum Progress will post a different "Letter to New Moms". The letter writers were given a blank canvas to share their humor, experience, tips and ideas, focusing on the mental health of women during pregnancy and postpartum. They include:

Rita Arens, editor of "Sleep is For the Weak: The Best of the Mommybloggers" and author of the blog Surrender, Dorothy
Vicki Glembocki, author of "The Second Nine Months: One Woman Tells the Real Truth About Becoming a Mom ... Finally" and featured blogger on Oprah.com with Blunt Force Mama
Catherine Connors, author of the very popular mommy blog Her Bad Mother and contributing editor at BlogHer
Therese Borchard, author of the hit daily blog Beyond Blue on Beliefnet, which is featured regularly on the Huffington Post, and editor of "The Imperfect Mom: Candid Confessions of Mothers Living in the Real World"
Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, author of "Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay" and "Naptime is the New Happy Hour" , author of the blog Baby on Bored and a regular on NBC's "The Today Show"
Ruta Nonacs, MD, PhD, Harvard Medical School psychiatry professor and author of "A Deeper Shade of Blue: A Woman's Guide to Recognizing & Treating Depression in Her Childbearing Years"

Some great mommy bloggers participatinginclude Leslie from Mrs. Flinger, Sophie from Sophie in the Moonlight and Deb from Missives from Suburbia. We have healthcare professionals like Ann Dunnewold, Karen Kleiman, Susan Stone and Diane Sanford. And you'll also be hearing from many of the regulars around Postpartum Progress including Lauren Hale, Tara Mock, Ivy Shih-Leung, Sarah Pond, Jess Banas, Erika Krull, Julie Green, Jada Roche, Susan McRoberts, Adrienne Martini and more.

Please join in with us on Mother's Day for some great wisdom, humor and strength from some amazing women!

MOTHERS Act To Drug America's Moms For Fake Postpartum Depression

2009-04-07T11:09:57-05:00

Wake up, women. Wake up people who work to prevent child abuse, people who work to prevent suicide, people who work to prevent preterm births, people who care about healthy families. Wake up, people who care about motherhood. Wake up, women of America. Wake up psychiatric professionals, nurses, OB/GYNS, pediatricians.

Here's an actual text of a communication being sent far and wide by the very loud and vociferous opposition to the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act to support increased funding, education and research for postpartum depression (the underlining is mine):

"This MOTHER'S Act, with its innocuous sounding name will mandate
"mental screening" for Pregnant women. This will lead to many more
young mothers being labeled with fraudulent psychiatric conditions and
many of them will be put on dangerous psychiatric drugs even while
they are still pregnant. This is already happening in some states
such as New Jersey with the state legislature previously passed a
similar bill.

With your help, we were able to stop this Federal bill dead in its
tracks last year, but the drug lobby apparently never sleeps and
they got it through the House of Representatives.

Now we need some fast action from thousands of doctors and patients
across the country - in the form of phone calls and faxes to their
US Senators to stop this bill from passing in the Senate ..."

Let's be VERY, VERY clear. There are some people who, for whatever reason, have decided to convince others that the singular purpose of the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act is to line the pockets of the pharmaceutical companies and drug our nation's mothers. If you think they aren't calling their Senators and Congresspeople you are mistaken. They are very convicted in their feelings and they call WAY MORE than we do.

If you believe what they are saying is true, then I'm not sure why you'd be reading this blog. Because chances are, if you read this blog, you know for a fact, as sure as death and taxes, that there is nothing "fraudulent" about postpartum depression or anxiety, postpartum OCD, postpartum psychosis, or depression and anxiety during pregnancy. I find that deeply, completely insulting.

I'm not sure what is so difficult to accept about the idea that women who are ill with REAL illnesses need help and we need our society to take more responsibility to help them, starting with the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act. PERIOD.

END. OF. STORY.

Have these people not seen the research? Do they not know that women with untreated postpartum depression can go on to have chronic depression for the rest of their lives? Do they not know that women with untreated depression during pregnancy are twice as likely to have pre-eclampsia, twice as likely to have a C-section, twice as likely to have a pre-term delivery and twice as likely to have their baby go to NICU? Do they know the odds of developmental delay for children whose mothers' illness goes on and on and on and on? Do they not know that suicide as a result of postpartum mood disorders is the leading cause of death for women postpartum in the US?

You can sit by on the sidelines and watch them win, just like they say they did last year when the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act was NOT passed. You can say I signed that petition last year so I'm not doing it again. You can decide that your voice doesn't count. You can let them convince the rest of the world that the MOTHERS Act is a conspiracy to drug the mothers of the world. You can say I have too many other things to worry about. You can say they're just the fringe and that no one pays attention to them, but you'd be wrong.

I'm asking you not to. Please do not allow more women and children to suffer when it's no longer necessary. I don't care if you've never had PPD and it's not on your radar screen. Healthy women, healthy children and health families should be on EVERYONE's radar screen.

Go to the DBSA and sign the petition. http://capwiz.com/ndmda/issues/alert/?alertid=12832296

AND, email Susan Stone at susanstonelcsw@aol.com and put your name on the state-by-state list of people who endorse this bill.

AND, call AND write your Senator or Congressperson, AGAIN if necessary:

US Senate http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm

US House of Representatives https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml

AND write about the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act in your blog, AGAIN.

AND call or email every one of your organization's members today and tell them to get up and get to work for goodness sake.

AND join Postpartum Support International as it works to create more and better services and education for the women who suffer. http://postpartum.net/become-member/

The emotional health of approximately 1 million American families EVERY SINGLE YEAR depends on this.

Because honestly, if we can't get this one damn bill passed, how are we going to tackle the much bigger task of helping every single woman who needs help in this country? How are we going to create funding for transportation and childcare for women who can't get to their doctors because they have no car and no babysitter? How are we going to develop a network of highly trained, effective healthcare providers who are willing to treat women with no insurance? How are we going to fund more research to find out the exact causes of these illnesses so we can develop better, more pinpointed treatments? How are we going to make sure there are support groups in every corner of this country, no matter how urban or how rural? How are we going to educate doctors on preventing these illnesses in the first place by conducting social histories of their patients BEFORE they get pregnant?

This bill has been seven freaking years in the making. In those seven years, how much unnecessary devastation has been suffered?

ABC Television Puts Murderous Mommy on "Private Practice" Instead of Postpartum Depression Sufferer

2009-02-13T15:40:47-06:00

ABC Television contacted Postpartum Support International several weeks ago to say they were doing a story about postpartum depression on an episode of "Private Practice" and wanted to do a public service announcement (PSA) with information about the illness. I was aware of this project, because as the PR board chair for PSI, I had to write the PSA copy. I was told a message about the PSA would appear at the end of the episode (which aired last night) and would direct people to the ABC website to watch it. ABC wouldn't tell PSI any more about the episode.

As it turns out, the storyline was about postpartum psychosis instead of depression. Yet another story about a murderous mommy rather than the truth about perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. (A mom who initially seems to be having symptoms reflecting perhaps postpartum depression or anxiety turns out to have tried to drown her baby in the bathtub.) Additionally, ABC did not air the message about the PSA as they promised, thus viewers wouldn't have even known it existed. And on the "Private Practice" area of ABC's website today is an awful poll asking people whether the child of the mom in the episode should or shouldn't have been taken away.

This type of media representation of these illnesses must stop. It just continues to stigmatize the women who have them, and put fear into their hearts about being judged and asking for help. Postpartum Psychosis is extremely, extremely rare. Most women with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders never harm their children or want to harm them or attempt to harm them. Please join me in my "Pull the Plug on Private Practice" mission by refusing to watch the show.

As I wrote earlier this morning on my blog "Postpartum Progress":

Last night's episode was promoted, both to the public and to the members of Postpartum Support International, as one about postpartum depression, but -- surprise, surprise -- it immediately devolved into a show about postpartum psychosis and a mom attempting to kill her child by holding her down under the water in the bathtub. Every time the media, whether entertainment or news, chooses to cover perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, the portrayal is always of some out-of-control woman committing or attempting to commit infanticide. They NEVER represent the fact that 99% of women with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER do anything to harm a hair on their infants' heads. That 99% of them are very good and loving mothers who simply have an illness that requires treatment. They never represent the fact that there is so much more to these illnesses and that postpartum depression is very common and treatable.

In the name of getting more viewers for "Private Practice," ABC and the shows producers have irresponsibly represented perinatal mood and anxiety disorders and potentially traumatized HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of new mothers. I do NOT exaggerate when I say that. Just ask yourself how many husbands, family members and friends who saw the show are looking at the new moms around them today wondering whether they're capable of murder? Just ask yourself how many moms are not going to reach out for treatment because they now think their babies will be taken away as the character's was? Just ask yourself how many moms won't get in contact with a healthcare professional because they're afraid the person will behave like Violet, the therapist on "Private Practice"?

Just as I stopped going to Tom Cruise movies (and will not start back, despite his very clever new public relations strategies), I will not watch "Private Practice" ever again. And in case you think I'm the boycotting type who boycotts everything that makes her mad, please know that this is only the second time I've ever done this in my life, Cruise being the first.

I ask you to please join me to "PULL THE PLUG ON PRIVATE PRACTICE" by no longer viewing it as well. We have to speak out. This is very important, even for those of you who have never suffered a mental illness during pregnancy or in the first year postpartum: All women must stand up and let the media know the way they treat perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, and mental illness in general, is unacceptable.

I'm sure they'll say, "But it's just a TV program. No one takes it seriously." Well if that was the case, why do you use a medical consultant (who obviously has no clue, but whatever)? Why did you reach out to PSI? Why am I getting emails from women who are so terribly upset and confused?

We have to tell them that the power they have to influence and move others is much too enormous to be improperly used. We have to make sure the information that moms and moms-to-be receive is correct and measured and encourages them to get the treatment they need. If we don't make our feelings known loud and clear nothing will every change. We owe it to many millions of women who will suffer perinatal mood and anxiety disorders in the next decade.

If you plan to stop watching "Private Practice", I encourage you to write about this on your own blogs and use the tags "Pull the Plug on Private Practice" and "postpartum depression" and "ABC".

Here are some other reactions in the blogosphere (I'm sure there will be more):

Must they take back America? If they do, should we move to Canada?

2008-09-09T22:02:24-05:00

With all this discussion of book banning, I thought I'd share a phrase or two I'd like to ban. Well, not ban I guess, because I believe in free speech. So how about a phrase or two I really wish people wouldn't use? At the top of my list right now is "Take back America" or "Take back our country". LET'S TAKE BACK AMERICA! YAAYYYY!!!!! Let's not.

I'm pretty sure Barack Obama used that phrase, or some facsimile of it, in his convention speech. Just to be fair and balanced, had there been a Democratic president for the last eight years, I'm sure the Republicans would have employed it too. It's used with every election. You can see it all over the internet: here, here, and seemingly everywhere.

I can't stand that phrase. Take back America? From who? From the half of the country who voted for the other guy (or girl)? Why shouldn't they have America too? When people say this, it makes me feel they believe that one side is right and the other wrong, one side has the good guys and one side the bad. I couldn't disagree with that more. We are all equally a part of America, not just the half of us that wins. The side on which I generally reside is full of decent people, and so is the side I don't. The other side makes very good points, as does this side. I can't stand all the vitriol and reduction of people down to ugly stereotypes which are usually untrue. Rhetoric like "take back America" just supports and widens the divide that exists. It makes me feel like the candidate who says it only wants to be president for half of the country. The rest of us, to steal a phrase, are on our own.

And while we're at it, I also don't ever again want to hear someone say "If ---- wins, I'm moving to Canada." Why? Because the democratic process worked and the person who was elected by our process won? Whoever becomes president is my president, whether I voted for him or not. I'll be interested to see what he does. I'm not leaving! I'm proud to be an American, and glad that we have the process that we do.

Any general phrases you've heard during this election process that you wish would go away? (And please don't use this post to pick on one side or the other.)

Can Powerful Women be Good Mothers? The Double Standard with Sarah Palin

2008-09-03T20:58:54-05:00

I don't usually write about politics, but I can't help myself. I just have to speak about what feels to me like a double standard when it comes to Sarah Palin. I'm surprised by the people who want equal rights for women so that they can do all the same things as men, yet now that Sarah Palin is the potential VP are all asking whether she can be a good mom and VP at the same time.

I suppose now every woman out there who runs a major corporation, who serves as a governor or a senator, who is a journalist traveling the world to cover stories, who is an entrepreneur running her own start-up, or who has any other job that requires hard work and enormous commitment should now question whether she can do a good job and be a good mother. What about Indra Nooyi, president and CEO of PepsiCo, who has two children? Stephanie Bell-Rose, Managing Director of Goldman-Sachs, who has three children? Ursula Burns, president of Xerox, who has two children? Anne Sweeney, president of Disney/ABC-TV, with two children? Susan Decker, president of Yahoo, with three children?

I have a dear friend who is VP of Marketing at a very large global corporation. She has huge responsibilities. She also has two small children. Her husband takes care of the kids. They have a wonderful family, are successfull all the way around, and have happy, healthy and smart children. The feminists would have screamed bloody murder if this friend had not been considered for her position because she had young children. BLOODY MURDER, I tell you.

Sarah Palin is different? No way. If you want to question her experience, that makes sense to me. If you want to look at her record and compare it to the opposing ticket, no problem. But this motherhood thing is insulting to her, me, countless hardworking women, AND, I might add, insulting to every man in America who is a competent and effective stay-at-home dad.

I submit that it's the quality of the time and effort that each individual mother puts in that matters. There are probably an equal number of stay-at-home moms and working moms who do a bad job of mothering, and an equal number who do a good job. It's not up to me or you to judge that. It's conversations like the one people are having right now on Palin's mothering abilities that put so much pressure on women to be "the perfect mother."

Moms All Over the Blogosphere Write About Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders

2008-08-20T11:57:00-05:00

Here's a roundup of what's going on out there in the world of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders this week ...

Cate at 18 Years and Counting is suffering from postpartum depression and anxiety and needs a Warrior Moms Virtual Hug. Here's a post she just wrote about her obsessions and fears.

Jodi Kluchar has just created the PTSD After Childbirth blog. I'm am sure that those of you with postpartum post-traumatic stress disorder will want to follow along for information and comfort. The blog offers info on conferences, birth stories, research and more.

Miranda has just created a blog called Postpartum Help to share her experiences with postpartum depression and try and help others. Give her a shout out!

Laura at Depressed (but not unhappy) Mormon Mommy has written about the helpful things people said to her when going through postpartum depression, and what she would say to others.

Lisa at the Lis & D blog writes about the recent loss of a friend of hers to postpartum psychosis. (This breaks my heart.) She also shares her own experience with postpartum depression.

Diane at The Mommy Diaries writes about postpartum depression vs. stress

John Walsh & Others Speak Out In Support of the Advancing America's Priorities Act

2008-07-28T15:11:25-05:00

This afternoon I participated in a press conference call hosted by Americans United for Change, featuring a group of people all supporting bills within the Advancing America's Priorities Act. Speakers included:

John Walsh of America's Most Wanted supporting the Combating Child Exploitation Act which will increase resources in the fight against child pornography and other internet crimes against children;
Bruce Morgan of the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation promoting passage of the Christopher & Dana Reeve Paralysis Act which supports and enhances cooperation in paralysis research, rehabilitation and quality of life programs for people with paralysis;
Lee Page of Paralyzed Veterans of America, also supporting the Christopher & Dana Reeve Paralysis Act;
Alvin Sykes of the Emmitt Till Justice Campaign supporting the Emmitt Till Unsolved Civil Rights Crime Act, which will strengthen the ability of the federal government to investigate and prosecute unsolved murders from the civil rights era; and
me, Katherine Stone, speaking on behalf of Postpartum Support International in support of the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act, which as you know will help provide more education about and research into perinatal mood disorders and services for the women who suffer.

In a sad way, it was comforting to me to learn that so many other people are as frustrated as we are in trying to get bills passed to provide assistance to everyday Americans who need real help. Some of these organizations, including PSI, have been waiting for many years to get the Senate to take action. Mr. Walsh talked about how frustrating it is to watch the government spend "$5 billion to photograph ice crystals on Mars" while Congress continues to delay taking action on bills that would change the lives of people here in the US on day one. As he said so eloquently, "This is not about a bridge to nowhere. This is about Americans -- the sacrifices they make and the obstacles they face."

The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act Moves Forward!

2008-07-22T18:42:01-05:00

Today, America's mothers, infants and families have reason to be encouraged and to reach out to their state senators to again request their support of The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act in its final push to passage. YOU HAVE BEEN HEARD and this morning, Majority Leader Reid introduced a package of bills called Advance America's Priorities Act which now includes The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act.

Senators Robert Menendez (NJ) and Richard Durbin (IL) have been working very hard with Majority Leader Harry Reid and Chairman Edward Kennedy to pass this legislation. These initiatives will be considered over the next week. Your renewed advocacy and attention is especially welcome RIGHT NOW! We need to continue make it deafeningly clear how important this bill is to women and families all across America.

The online petition in support of The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act has been reintroduced and we invite your signature and call to your state senators office. If you wish to write a personal letter, this would also offer welcome support. By clicking on this link you will be connected to the petition and information on how you can reach your senator and sign the petition. http://capwiz.com/ndmda/issues/alert/?alertid=11668371 We are almost there!! After years of unfathomable and needless suffering, American women may finally get the relief offered through increased research into the causes of perinatal mood disorders, better education of healthcare professionals to identify and treat these disorders, and grants for programs and services to help women to recovery. Thanks for the tremendous efforts which have brought us to this point and your steadfast participation in this final effort.

The letter above was sent out today by Susan Stone, past president of Postpartum Support International. I sent my own letter to the Senate today and posted it on my blog Postpartum Progress:

I represent tens of thousands of readers of Postpartum Progress, the most widely-read blog in the United States on perinatal mood disorders. I hear from these women every day about the suffering and isolation they're experiencing while going through the devastation of postpartum depression and related illnesses. They want to know why they weren't warned and what could have been done to prevent it. They want to know why there aren't more services available to help them recover, from local support groups and trained healthcare professionals to better information into the causes of perinatal mood disorders and the impact of various treatments. We know from research that untreated perinatal mood disorders are a serious public health threat --they can lead to chronic depression in the mother, behavioral problems in the child and stress-related health problems in both -- yet 90% of all women who suffer are never treated. This serves as an enormous financial cost to our health system and even bigger social cost to our communities now and into the future, and it will continue on perpetually until we break the cycle and take the lead to proactively educate pregnant mothers, support increased research and train our healthcare providers. I know this as a child of a mother who went through PPD, whose mother had it as well, and as a woman who had postpartum OCD herself. Please pass the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act. By doing this, you will immediately begin to create healthier families all across America.

I hope you'll send your letter before the end of the week as well, as this legislation will be worked on this VERY WEEK!

U.S. Senate: Are TVs More Important Than Moms?

2008-07-21T10:06:35-05:00

It's too bad we're not televisions. If we were, the government would make damn well sure we were working right. But at this point, it doesn't seem that postpartum depression awareness is as important as making sure everyone in the United States knows about the transition to digital television.

It seems that every time I turn on the TV there is a public service ad from the Federal Communications Commission (FCC), the National Association of Broadcasters, DirecTV, Comcast or some other organization working hard to ensure I am completely clear that all full-power broadcast television stations in the United States will stop broadcasting on analog airwaves and begin broadcasting only in digital on February 17, 2009.

Apparently making sure everyone can watch television is more urgent than the mental health of new mothers. I guess we should be grateful that we can just set our infants in front of the fully-operable TV while we go into the bathroom, close the door and cry our eyes out.

According to Broadcasting & Cable magazine, the Federal Communications Commission states that " ... broadcasters collectively aired more than 1 million digital-TV transition announcements in the most recent quarter." There's a special website --- www.dtv.gov -- with pages and pages of information, including publications, a glossary, information on the converter box coupon program, a shoppers guide and MUCH, MUCH more. From what I can tell, the government is spending $7 million to fund consumer awareness of this impending event, $5 million from the original budget and an additional $2 million added last June. Can you imagine how far that would go in eliminating the shame and stigma around perinatal mood disorders?

All I can say is: U.S. Senate, please pass the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act and fund research into and awareness of perinatal mood disorders. This Act was introduced in the Senate in May of 2007. It is time to act. I hope our Senators can agree that emotionally healthy mothers are more important than being able to watch "American Gladiators".

Bloggers, Celebrity Moms & PPD: The New Guessing Game

2008-06-27T14:32:44-05:00

First the celebrity blogs were obsessed with creating new names for the famous couples in Hollywood - TomKat, Bennifer, Brangelina. Next, they became obsessed with figuring out which stars were pregnant, pointing out both real and imagined "baby bumps". Now it seems everyone is trying to diagnose which new star moms have postpartum depression, whether it's Nicole Richie or Christina Aguilera or Jennifer Lopez. Their latest target is Jessica Alba.

This type of speculation is uneducated and in poor taste, as pointed out by Melissa McEwan over at Shakesville. She discusses what sites like TMZ.com are saying about Alba and about PPD, and points out:

As if "Gee, Jessica, you're so pretty—what could you possibly feel bad about?" isn't stupid enough, were she were suffering basic depression, this is the equivalent of saying, "Gee, Jessica, you're so pretty—why would your body possibly suffer a dramatic drop in estrogen and progesterone post-pregnant, possibly accompanied by a drop in blood volume, blood pressure, immune system, and/or metabolism? And you're so sexy—why would being a first-time mother to a newborn baby cause sleep deprivation or feelings of being overwhelmed and anxious? And you're so successful—it's hard to imagine that immediately after giving childbirth you might feel fatigued or emotional. I always thought postpartum depression was for ugly chicks!"

Of course everyone is potentially subject to a perinatal mood disorder regardless of their appearance, their job title or their bank account. And celeb watchers have no business sitting around trying to make odds on who will or won't get PPD as if this is some kind of game. If a new mom wishes to publicly share her experience to try and help others, like Brooke Shields or Courteney Cox or Gwyneth Paltrow, that's wonderful. Otherwise they should be left alone. Postpartum depression is no joke.

P.S. Thanks to Rachel Faulk for pointing out the Shakesville story to me!

Bookstores' Neglect of PPD Moms Leads to Bookstore Challenge

2008-06-18T16:06:46-05:00

I've come to realize that for some reason, there are a lot of booksellers out there who just don't feel it's important to offer a single book on postpartum depression or related illnesses for sale in their stores. I don't know why. I think that's a major disservice to women everywhere. There's no reason not to have two or three available for the desperate women who aren't yet ready to speak up but are looking for something to help explain what's wrong with them, or for those who've just been diagnosed and are looking for further information, or for family members who aren't sure what's happening to their loved one. We already know that only 10% of all the women who suffer from PPD ever get diagnosed or treated and the other 750,000+ new moms every year are left to fate. Perhaps a few more resources would help.

Right now I'm at the Barnes & Noble on 5th St. (or is it 6th?) in Atlanta. I checked the Child & Family section and there's nothing in the pregnancy or infancy areas. I checked the Self-Help section and there was nothing. I checked the Women's Health section. Zip. I checked the Psychology section. Nada. I also know for a fact that it's the same situation at the Books-A-Million store in Peachtree City because I checked.

What gives? Well I don't know, but I don't think we should accept the status quo. I'm going to start keeping a running list of all the bookstores that don't carry books on PPD and related illnesses on my blog Postpartum Progress, and hopefully we'll start shaming them into shelving them. There are plenty of good books by great people (Shoshanna Bennett, Ruta Nonacs, Karen Kleiman, Ann Dunnewold, Susan Stone, Lucy Puryear, Pec Indman, Diana Lynn Barnes, Sandy Poulin, Susan McRoberts, Tracy Thompson, Adrienne Martini ... the list goes on) that they can sell.

If you care about women having more resources available to them on perinatal mood disorders, I hope you'll join me. (And if you're an author, you have even more selfish reasons to join in!) Go to your local bookstore or two and check the shelves. Let me know what you come up with. We'll track it here. I'll also give credit to booksellers that have made the effort to offer a section or group of 3 or more books on the subject. I thought about calling it the Postpartum Progress "Shelf of Shame" or the "Bookstore Battle" which sounds more fun and controversial, but I'm trying to be positive. I hope the booksellers will want to change their ways. And so the Postpartum Progress Bookstore Challenge begins ...

Barnes & Noble 5th Street Atlanta

Books-A-Million

MOTHERS Act for Postpartum Depression Losing Momentum -- Online Petition Needs Your Signature

2008-04-10T14:41:26-05:00

It's time to talk about the Melanie Blocker Stokes (MBS) MOTHERS Act again. I know, I know. We've heard this all before, you're thinking. I already called my Senator, you're thinking. I already wrote about this on my blog, you're thinking. Sheesh!, you may even be thinking. Well, apparently everything you and I have done so far in support of this bill hasn't been enough.

As you may know, there are some people who are completely convinced that the MBS MOTHERS Act is a conspiratorial plot by the government to drug pregnant and postpartum women, and it must be STOPPED AT ALL COSTS! You and I know that's not true. So we've kind of ignored the negative campaign -- been slightly pissed and sometimes even truly annoyed but gone on with our day because it's silly and we have lots of more important things to worry about than some misguided folks. But the U.S. Senate can't ignore it when lots and lots and lots of people speak out. That's how they work, right? Polls. When they hear from lots of people on a certain issue, they tend to go in that direction.

Right now our Senators are hearing from a whole host of people who think it's a really bad idea to pass this bill -- a bill that provides funding for increased research into the cause and treatments of postpartum mood disorders, provides better training for healthcare providers and provides for an awareness campaign so that more women will know about these illnesses and realize that they can get help. Those people, bless their hearts, are very vocal and have every right to say what they think. (Tom Cruise must be very pleased.)

Conversely, those who believe in the MBS MOTHERS Act are not being anywhere near vocal enough.

Our Senators are NOT HEARING from enough of those of us who support it. If this trend continues, this bill will not pass. What happened to us, and to hundreds of thousands like us, and to our friends and sisters and mothers and girlfriends will keep happening. Women will continue to think they've gone crazy, never to return to their old selves. They will continue to live in fear of speaking up and telling someone about it. They will continue to be afraid to lose their children. They will continue to suffer, hurting both their health and the health of their children, because they won't get treatment. Some might even kill themselves, or become so ill they harm their children. That is unacceptable to me. Is it acceptable to you? I started this blog because I was damn well not going to let anybody go through the isolation and terror and ineffective treatment from an untrained doctor that I received. Don't you feel the same?

Postpartum Progress readers, and anyone who cares about postpartum mood disorders, I very humbly beg you to complete two very easy assignments:

1. Click this link and sign this petition to support passage of the MBS MOTHERS Act. It is as easy as pie. Thanks to the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance for getting the petition going. All you have to do is fill out your name and address and click send, and it will be sent all the proper places The petition is also supported by Postpartum Support International

2. Forward the petition link to everyone you know and tell them to sign their name to it as well.

We need thousands of people to do this. Not just a few hundred. Seriously, thousands. Please get clicking. And if you have a website, or an organization of proactive women and moms, or a blog, please get your readers/members involved ASAP.

P.S. In case you're wondering, here is a list of the respected organizations that endorse the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act:

* Postpartum Support International
* Association of Women's Health
* Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses
* American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists
* Children's Defense Fund
* March of Dimes
* American College of Nurse Midwives
* Suicide Prevention Action Network USA
* Mental Health America
* Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
* National Alliance on Mental Illness
* National Women's Law Center
* National Partnership for Women &Families
* National Council for Community Behavioral Healthcare
* Association of Maternal and Child Health Programs
* American Psychological Association
* American Psychiatric Association

If you would like to add your organization to this illustrious list, please let me know at my email; (They can't all be part of the conspiracy to drug America's moms, can they???)

Straight Talk About Mental Hospitals & Postpartum Depression

2008-03-21T07:48:40-05:00

One area I don't like to talk about is hospitalization. I don't know why. It's like the ultimate embarrassment for me or something that at one point I had to be hospitalized in a mental hospital (UGH!) for depression. It was only for a few days, but it's one thing of which I have to say I still feel slightly ashamed. If our society considered mental illness a physical illness, then of course I wouldn't be ashamed, because there is nothing at all wrong with being sick and having to go to the hospital. But you and I both know that's not the way people think when it comes to "mental institutions." Nonetheless, I can't let that stop me from talking openly to you about a type of treatment that some women with postpartum mood disorders must experience, so here goes ...

The truth is, if we are a danger to ourselves or others we need to be hospitalized. Period. I wish there were another way, a better solution, but as far as I know there isn't. I got to a point where I thought I might kill myself. And so, that's where I was sent. The minute I got there and saw what was coming I completely changed my mind about killing myself, of course. I told them very articulately that I was all better and there was no need to move forward. (Stop the train, I want to get off!) But once the proverbial cat is out of the bag you can't put it back in.

Here's what you should know: Mental hospitals aren't a treat. It can feel like being in jail. Once you are in you can't just get out any old time you want. At least not for 48 hours or so. You don't have access to all of your things because they take them away from you to make sure there's nothing dangerous or illegal in them. You don't have free access to the people you love, except during limited visiting hours. The decor is sorely lacking. The food stinks. The beds are lumpy. You don't even have the right to go to the bathroom at any time without permission. I remember at one point being in the cafeteria trying to eat the awful food and I needed to pay a visit to the facilities. They wouldn't let me, because they couldn't leave my group and couldn't let me leave the cafeteria alone. I was humiliated and infuriated. "I'm a competent grownup! How dare you tell me I can't go to the bathroom! What happened to basic human dignity??!!" They were unimpressed by my reaction, and I had to wait. Also, I was in the general adult ward, with men and women in all sorts of mental states -- addicts, schizophrenics, people suffering from depression or bipolar disorder -- and I was scared. The truth is no one would choose to hang out with a group of people she doesn't trust to make safe choices. But be all of that as it may, it was the exact right place for me.

I truly benefited from being in that hospital at that moment. Once we get over the thinking that we are somehow better, special and different from the rest of the people in the "asylum", it can be a profound experience. First, they took care of me and helped me become stable. I was in a crisis and they helped me out of it. Second, I was humbled and made to understand via circumstance that we are all one step away from losing our minds no matter where we come from or how much money we make or what we look like or what job we have or how competent we've been up 'til now. Third, I learned that severely mentally ill people are still people, and I became very empathetic to their plight. I remember watching a man who stood in the corner all day brushing himself off and found out it was because he thought there were snakes on him. Another young man curiously kept cutting the eyes out of pictures of people in magazines. Only later did I notice he had been taping them up surreptitiously in strategic places throughout the ward -- in the leaves of the ficus tree, on the wall clock, in the plastic floral wreath covered in a layer of dust. The eyes watched me wherever I went. I imagined what those two men, and some of the others, might have been like as innocent, happy children with no inkling of what was to come in their lives. Could they help the situation they were in now? Maybe, maybe not. I went from a state of fear to one of wonder and to one of caring about these people and hoping for their well-being.

I have family members of women with postpartum depression or psychosis reach out to me to tell me their sister or daughter has been hospitalized and that it's absolutely the WRONG place for her. "She doesn't belong with those other people. She's not crazy. She's just not doing well." I completely understand what they mean. It's the wrong place for everyone. Wouldn't we all like to go recuperate from wanting to kill ourselves in Tahiti? Don't they have a "Mental Health Weekend" 3-day package at the Ritz? That would be lovely but that's not how it works. So I tell them I know it seems like a mistake, but it's actually the exact right place for her at that moment. I tell you that if it's what you have to do to restore your sanity and return home a more healthy mother to your baby, just do it. Suck it up and do it. No matter how yucky it is, you will live. And you might be a better person for it.