I look around the counter I feel like giving thanks for being mom.
I look around the counter I feel like giving thanks for being mom.
Take this week, for instance. My elderly neighbor had knee replacement surgery. She needed help with her cat. "Of course I'll help out," I said. No problem with that, I can manage a morning and evening visit to the cat before getting the kids to school, rushing to work in the morning and then repeating it all in the evening before dinner. But then ...
]]>Take this week, for instance. My elderly neighbor had knee replacement surgery. She needed help with her cat. "Of course I'll help out," I said. No problem with that, I can manage a morning and evening visit to the cat before getting the kids to school, rushing to work in the morning and then repeating it all in the evening before dinner. But then ...
... the neighbors across the street asked for help with their two cats for the same period. Since my daughter is dying to babysit for them (they are new to the area), I wanted to help her make a good impression on them. That was my mistake, trying to make a good impression, rather than taking care of myself.
I said, "Yes, sure," without thinking about whether I really had time/interest in doing it. Now, a week into the 2x daily cat care routine my neighbors are feeling good that they have local, reliable help. But I feel not so good about how much cat poop I am scooping out of litter boxes as a result of not scheduling my time well.
<a href="http://cocovillage.blogspot.com">Read more Coco</a>
]]>It wasn't a surprise that I was called to reckon my love for interesting, spontaneous cooking with fresh market ingredients, and my need to be an effective family manager and plan in advance. I had had years of training as a cook. First, at various catering companies in the Hamptons, where Ina Garten's Barefoot Contessa was the standard, then later at the Cambridge School of Culinary Arts, in Cambridge, Massachusetts where the repertoire was a bit more corporate. I also had plenty of "free" time (although it never felt that way at the time, I see it now).
I wouldn't be telling you the whole truth if I told you that adapting and sticking with a meal plan was simple for me and my family. We're seriously unconventional in many ways and the meal plan felt like another suburbanization of my life. I didn't want to let go of my first love! But through trial and error, I was able to put together a routine in the family kitchen that continues to support us. It feels balanced, healthy and simple, with enough room for accommodation for independent likes and dislikes to satisfy most of us, most of the time. Here's my boiled-down version:
Monday - Hot Potato night
Hot locally grown baked potatoes
Toppings (some of the favorites include shredded cheese, unsalted butter, scallions, chili, green veggies, salt & pepper, sour cream, etc.)
Something fresh like salad or a veggie plate
Dessert is optional (usually fruit)
Tuesday - "Taco" night
Hot jasmine or brown rice
Browned turkey breast seasoned w/ Taco spices
Served in a bowl, burrito or taco
Toppings: lettuce, avocado or guacamole, salsa
Big salad or fresh fruit plate
Dessert is optional
Wednesday - Pasta night!
Hot pasta - fresh or dry
Bottled or homemade sauce, or garlic/butter/oil
Garlic bread (homemade or store bought)
Salad with a cheesy dressing
Dessert is optional
Thursday - Take a break!
Take-out night
Budget healthy take-out
(This is the night that is the least nutritious, BTW)
Dessert is optional
Friday - Turn up the spice for the weekend!
Hot roasted Bell & Evans chicken or fish seasoned w/ curry or other spices
Couscous
Cooked veggie medley
Something for dessert!
Eat in the dining room. Light a candle or two!
Weekends are more freestyle and usually include lunch:
Saturday
Inventive and spontaneous (with or w/out the kids)
Eat in the dining room
Sunday - Whiffle ball night
SIMPLE Picnic or pizza for whiffle ball in the park
(This will change soon, when the season is over)
Beverages
At each meal, the kids have a choice of:
2% milk, water, cider, sparkling
Adults might have:
sparkling, wine, beer, water
Dessert
Fruit
Kefir drinks or yogurt
Graham crackers in milk, eaten with a spoon
Chocolate pudding from KoziShack
A homemade dessert
According to C. Coleman Brown, MD, Revolution Health's plastic surgery expert, "Most patients interested in cosmetic surgery have specific areas of concern
that they wish to have addressed. That being said, these concerns can
often morph into a multitude of concerns once the patient is inside the
doctor's office.[Click thru] to five points to consider before setting up a consultation with a cosmetic surgeon." More
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]]>Men not told of severity of wife's cancer
Breast-conserving surgery leaves many cancer patients disappointed
I'm feeling like both of these stories reflect the same core issue: that we (men and women)are not empowered to seek ample information from care providers. So,what to do?
]]>Men not told of severity of wife's cancer
Breast-conserving surgery leaves many cancer patients disappointed
I'm feeling like both of these stories reflect the same core issue: that we (men and women)are not empowered to seek ample information from care providers. So,what to do?
First, practice how to communicate with your care provider when it isn't urgent. That way, when you are in an urgent situation, you are prepared to seek the information you need.
After that, keep practicing until you have established trustworthy communication with a doctor or nurse. Why is that so hard for so many of us?
If you are a woman with breast cancer, or you love someone with breast cancer, do your best to educate yourself about breast-conserving surgery vs. mastectomy (with or without reconstruction). Find pictures of options online. It is important to get help understanding surgical outcomes, asymmetry, scar tissue, etc., and finding your own comfort within the necessary trade-offs. (Easier said than done while staring down a cancer diagnosis, I realize . . .)
Likewise, before a husband can readily "hear" his wife's cancer diagnosis, he has to practice "hearing" about other basic women's issues, such as menopause, or the emotional side of a woman's mind-body connection.
Guys, consider it good practice to contemplate your wife's vulnerability while she is healthy. Remember: practice, not perfection, is the name of the game.
And, just in case anyone needs this helpful piece from Y-me?, here are 10 ways of being there for your wife when she cancer. . .
Cry when it seems safer to hold back
Run when you have time to walk
Share in the beauty of others
Without envy or fear ...
Contact the healing power of nature
Find time for tolerance and understanding
Notice what really hurts inside
Give it a name and set it free
Step out of your comfort zone
Read something that is a challenge
Or say something that makes you quake
Especially if it is loving
Cry when it seems safer to hold back
Run when you have time to walk
Share in the beauty of others
Without envy or fear ...
Contact the healing power of nature
Find time for tolerance and understanding
Notice what really hurts inside
Give it a name and set it free
Step out of your comfort zone
Read something that is a challenge
Or say something that makes you quake
Especially if it is loving
Forgive yourself for things you cannot do
Forgive others for what they do to you
Respect the spaces separating us all
For these may become our future gardens ...
Stand in awe of the majestic planet
Feel so small that your insignificance
Becomes a reward, a relief
A moment's respite from feeling "In charge"
Trust your instincts and sharpen them daily
What is easy isn't always wrong
But what causes suffering often hold a gift as well
Try to know the difference
On this mother's day, I dare you to
Find a photo of yourself as a child
Put it next to one of your children and
Witness just how much you've changed
Mothers grow up too
Honor what you've been through
- The many things you've overcome
Make a pact to celebrate your story
For its uniqueness and simplicity
You are a wonder in this world!
A very special blossom
Too beautiful for a vase on Sunday
You have bloomed where you were planted ...
Warm wishes to all daring women on this Mother's Day :)
- May 2008, Coco Kraft and the Village Elders
]]>Why do you already know this? Because while you're not growing legs, you are growing something ... and dare I surmise that "growing" anything takes a whole lot of energy.
But since you probably hate this metaphor, I'll make my 2nd point quickly: Those fish were probably STRESSED OUT trying to get out of the pond and onto land. Could be that they were, indeed, even chased out. Even worse, they probably had no idea that they were growing legs...more: http://tinyurl.com/4kpt5d
]]>Why do you already know this? Because while you're not growing legs, you are growing something ... and dare I surmise that "growing" anything takes a whole lot of energy.
But since you probably hate this metaphor, I'll make my 2nd point quickly: Those fish were probably STRESSED OUT trying to get out of the pond and onto land. Could be that they were, indeed, even chased out. Even worse, they probably had no idea that they were growing legs...more: http://tinyurl.com/4kpt5d
Are you growing something evolutionarily useful these days, something like, "tolerance" or "endurance" ???
What about "focus?" Is that trait still useful? Or have our attention spans been sliced and diced into something less useful than a late-night pitch product on the cable channels. I know I type-pad so much that my handwriting has atrophied...but my typing has really improved.
Oops, gotta go, a device beckons. Lemme see who. Oh, that was my husband's device. Shit, I just spilled my coffee. Ugh, oh well no biggie, I'm back now. Fresh cup. Okay, so. Oh? Um. It was like - oh,
So, where was I?
]]>"...The Interior Department’s Minerals Management Service has announced that early next month it will sell oil and gas leases on nearly 30 million acres of prime polar bear habitat in the Chukchi Sea. Meanwhile, the department’s Fish and Wildlife Service has postponed a long-awaited decision on whether to place this iconic and troubled animal on the list of threatened species.
These two moves are almost certainly, and cynically, related. Listing the polar bear as threatened would trigger a range of protective actions. Delaying that listing gives the Department of Interior just enough time to move ahead with the lease sales without having to deal with the bear while avoiding an embarrassing bureaucratic squabble..."
Read the full opinion at: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/15/opinion/
Stay tuned for the results of the Senate hearing expected this week.
]]>I registered for an appointment at the Genius Bar, arrived on time, checked in with the guy in the t-shirt and waited.
I started thinking about how Apple is revising work flow in many corners of our lives; the concept of tech support as a hybrid between entertainment and service is just one. While I think it is very exciting, I couldn't help but notice that humans and bricks and mortar still reign supreme.
For instance, yesterday was a Friday afternoon during the holiday season so the store was mobbed. The Genius staff had too few laptops. Instead of the Apple signature "technology can buffer human interactions" approach, the Genius staff had to speak, share, give and take, switch focus, multi-task, delight, impress, and use humor all at one time, thus interrupting service encounters with customers and the workflow plan.
My genius was interrupted fifteen times. And then my genius interrupted someone else about 8 times. So, there were a total of 23 interruptions. The time it took to walk out of the Genius bar with my problem resolved was 1:15 (1 hr. and 15 minutes.) That is roughly one interruption every 5 minutes.
My case was resolved in five minutes, but the first replacement phone kept showing personalization as "Tom's iPhone," even after it was reset and erased by the tech. The second replacement phone encountered "trouble with the paperwork."
Humans are animals. This is nothing new. So, as we can be warded off with playful work flow engineering and cool widgets, we still require eye contact, connection, trust, expedience, competence, and efficacy to follow a tribal head.
Apple is vying for the position of tribal head for technology, but there is nothing like humans and our sophisticated range of expressive and persuasive functions...
It will be fun to watch Apple take steps toward the seamless integration of value engineering concepts and social marketing visions. We really need them to succeed.
Read more from Coco Kraft and the Village Elders now.
]]>We're doing this without wine so it might actually happen. Every one's so busy now that even the promise of a glass of wine can't get them out at night... We're trying 11 AM - 12 noon. With lunch optional after.
I so don't want to come away with a pile of useless make-up but I would like to buy -
* a fresh mascara
* a fresh pencil
* a "highlighter"
And come away with a refreshed understanding of the make-up how to's...
Read Coco Kraft and the Village Elders everyday! http://cocovillage.blogspot.com
]]>First, I picked a date for hot cocoa and wish lists. I set the counter up as I might for a craft project by putting out pencils, erasers, colored markers, catalogs, whole punches, etc.
Second, I showed each of the kids how to start a letter to Santa.
Third, I let the kids draft out their long lists of wishes. They could put anything (and as many things as) they wanted on their lists - no editing or shoulds allowed from mom.
]]>First, I picked a date for hot cocoa and wish lists. I set the counter up as I might for a craft project by putting out pencils, erasers, colored markers, catalogs, whole punches, etc.
Second, I showed each of the kids how to start a letter to Santa.
Third, I let the kids draft out their long lists of wishes. They could put anything (and as many things as) they wanted on their lists - no editing or shoulds allowed from mom.
The lists were very long and included big deals such as Guinea Pigs, slide projectors, new bicycles and skateboards, as well as little deals such as lip gloss and candy.
Finally, and this is the magical part, I asked them to take their long lists and to choose something for their head, (books or knowledge-based learning), something for their heart (an animal to love, athletic equipment), something for their hands (yarn for knitting, blocks, or projects to build and cook), and something for our home (a family game, a supply of fancy paper, new pastels).
As the children made trade-offs, I talked to them about balance and about happiness being a sign of a person using many of his or her gifts throughout a lifetime. They seemed to understand the connection, but expect a lot of discussion, negotiation, even some disappointments...
Finally, they wrote up their edited lists on a fresh piece of paper to Santa and decorated it. If there was anything either of them felt really strongly about including (in addition to the 4-Hs), we would just keep talking about it. I even asked them to add one wish for someone else . . . to integrate the idea of charitable giving.
This approach to how to make a Christmas wish list takes time and some thought. But it can help ease the blind consumerism the tradition can bring ... while transforming it into a mini plan.
I like that the kids are learning simple consciousness about their wishes, something I still practice myself. And while they won't get everything on their lists, they deal with the disappointments before Christmas morning. That makes "a little room" for the spirit of Christmas to come in.
]]>The rise of the Libertarian is about the rise of long tail marketing. These guys don't make big hits, nor do they come from political dynasties (yet), but they still provide a steady flow of concepts, sold quietly over time, and that in and of itself makes them a force to contend with.
Now I think I'll go read what the Washington Post has on the topic today...
]]>Should the family without
Need a little of yours
May you find the will
To give something, of course.
May our earth spin lovely
Extended in space
May the story of harvest
Bring a welcomed grace
To those far away
from our table this day
may their lives be felt
through the words we say.
Thank you! we are grateful
We are grateful for life.
Thank you! we are grateful
For this day of less strife.
Soldiers and preachers,
Politicians and press
Gather at the table
Take this rest.
Should the family without
Need a little of yours
May you find the will
To give something, of course.
May our earth spin lovely
Extended in space
May the story of harvest
Bring a welcomed grace
To those far away
from our table this day
may their lives be felt
through the words we say.
Thank you! we are grateful
We are grateful for life.
Thank you! we are grateful
For this day of less strife.
Soldiers and preachers,
Politicians and press
Gather at the table
Take this rest.
Child and mother
Farmer and cook
The day of Thanksgiving
Is here - go. Look.
Let go of drudgery
Let the meal be a feast
On tastes and smells
For the smallest, the least
Serve love, forgiveness
Good pie, good wine.
Gentle perseverance
In these uncertain times.
And tomorrow when memories
are all you can hold
Loosen your grip
And let life unfold...
There is much to learn
And so much to do
Believe in life's goodness
As it comes to you.
Peace and Joy for Thanksgiving to all! Read more at: http://cocovillage.blogspot.com
]]>Most people misunderstand wetlands; they often downright hate them. I think perhaps we confuse wetlands with wastelands. Whatever the reason, to these folks, bogs are not enchanted, life-filled environments, just pools and puddles of still water for pests to breed.
]]>Most people misunderstand wetlands; they often downright hate them. I think perhaps we confuse wetlands with wastelands. Whatever the reason, to these folks, bogs are not enchanted, life-filled environments, just pools and puddles of still water for pests to breed.
For me, wetlands capture and express the poetry of a soul's shadowy side; the murky processes of letting go, of reaching forth, of muddling on through.
]]>