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  <title>Gracie Passette's blog</title>
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  <id>http://www.blogher.com/blog/16171/atom/feed</id>
  <updated>2007-08-18T14:49:33-05:00</updated>
  <entry>
    <title>Nina Hartley On Cult Of Gracie (On XXBN)</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/nina-hartley-cult-gracie-xxbn" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/nina-hartley-cult-gracie-xxbn</id>
    <published>2008-08-11T21:09:45-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-08-11T21:09:45-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Gracie Passette</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Media &amp; Journalism" />
    <category term="Sex &amp; Relationships" />
    <category term="Gracie Passette" />
    <category term="nina hartley" />
    <category term="radio" />
    <category term="sex" />
    <category term="Sex Positive" />
    <category term="XXBN" />
    <category term="Gender" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Wednesday, August 13th at 9 PM (central) <a href="http://www.nina.com/" target="_blank">Nina Hartley</a> will be on <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/swopeast/2008/08/14/Cult-of-Gracie-Radio-With-Nina-Hartley" target="_blank">XXBN's Cult of Gracie Radio</a>.
</p>
<p>
You can find out more about Nina Hartley <a href="http://xxbnradio.blogspot.com/2008/08/cult-of-gracie-radio-presents-one-of.html" target="_blank">at XXBN's official blog</a>, and at <a href="http://www.cultofgracie.com/2008/08/nina-hartley-joins-cult-of-gracie.html" target="_blank">Cult of Gracie</a>.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Wednesday, August 13th at 9 PM (central) <a href="http://www.nina.com/" target="_blank">Nina Hartley</a> will be on <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/swopeast/2008/08/14/Cult-of-Gracie-Radio-With-Nina-Hartley" target="_blank">XXBN's Cult of Gracie Radio</a>.
</p><p>
You can find out more about Nina Hartley <a href="http://xxbnradio.blogspot.com/2008/08/cult-of-gracie-radio-presents-one-of.html" target="_blank">at XXBN's official blog</a>, and at <a href="http://www.cultofgracie.com/2008/08/nina-hartley-joins-cult-of-gracie.html" target="_blank">Cult of Gracie</a>.</p>
<p>I can Hartley hardly wait to speak with her. If you'd like to speak with her too, live on-air calls will be taken at 1.646.200.3136.</p>
<p>You can <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/swopeast/2008/08/14/Cult-of-Gracie-Radio-With-Nina-Hartley" target="_blank">listen to the show live here</a>.  (If you missed the show, the same link will let you listen to the archived show &amp; download the podcast.)</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Working Girls Speak: Shame On You, Diane Sawyer</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/working-girls-speak-shame-you-diane-sawyer" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/working-girls-speak-shame-you-diane-sawyer</id>
    <published>2008-03-22T01:15:29-05:00</published>
    <updated>2008-03-22T01:15:29-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Gracie Passette</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Business &amp; Career" />
    <category term="Media &amp; Journalism" />
    <category term="United States" />
    <category term="News &amp; Politics" />
    <category term="Sex &amp; Relationships" />
    <category term="diane sawyer" />
    <category term="Gracie Passette" />
    <category term="media" />
    <category term="prostitution" />
    <category term="secondhand rose" />
    <category term="sex work" />
    <category term="Sex Workers" />
    <category term="tv" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Tonight, ABC's 20/20 hit the streets looking for hookers &amp; intending to cash in on the salacious sides of sex work ~ with Diane Sawyer as lead pimp, making her paycheck just another one of the profits earned from the poor, down-trodden, girls she herself called exploited.
</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Tonight, ABC's 20/20 hit the streets looking for hookers &amp; intending to cash in on the salacious sides of sex work ~ with Diane Sawyer as lead pimp, making her paycheck just another one of the profits earned from the poor, down-trodden, girls she herself called exploited.
</p><p>Diane let us know from the start, with her Good Friday biblical references, that this was not actual news coverage nor anything remotely close to impartial reporting; and from that moment on both <a href="http://callsecondhandrose.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Secondhand Rose</a> and myself, <a href="http://www.sex-kitten.net/graciearchive.html" target="_blank">Gracie Passette</a>, began typing furiously to one another ~ and no, 'furiously' wasn't our typing speed.
</p><p>Here are our notes.
</p><p>The two hour 20/20 was titled <span><a href="http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=4480892&amp;page=1" target="_blank">Prostitution in America: Working Girls Speak</a></span>; apparently no one thought this ironic as Diane often interrupted her interviewees to put words in their mouths.
</p><p>On several occasions Diane stated no numbers of sex workers were known ~ but she didn't let that stop her from spouting a standard "60-90%" for everything from pimps to abuses, substantiated with a "we're told".
</p><p>By whom?
</p><p>I guess there's no harm in percentages; 60-90% of 10 or 60-90% of 2 million is completely irrelevant, right? Unless you are going for some sort of reporting integrity.
</p><p>Let's face it, Diane, the bigger the number, be it fictitious, unsubstantiated or in ambiguous percentages, is all you were after. <span>Those are big alarmin' numbers, huh, America!</span>
</p><p>But most upsetting, unprofessional and therefore unethical was that this 'look at sex work' focused mainly on street sex workers.
</p><p>It's not just that the selection process of location was the main focus (with few other side trips to other physical locations and levels in the broad industry of sex work) despite her <i>continual</i> mention of how easy it was to shop for sex online. (You mean to tell us that in two years of research, Diane, you couldn't find <i>any</i> other sex workers to interview?! <i>We're right here!</i>)
</p><p>The focus on the poorest of our sisters was not just infuriating ~ but the analysis or lack there of was insulting.
</p><p>Diane compared apples to oranges mixing issues of poverty, drug addiction, abuse and hopelessness with the work &amp; even the workers themselves, reducing work and worker to bad &amp; unoriginal stereotypes.
</p><p>With all due sympathy &amp; concern to both the sex workers interviewed and others in similar circumstances (and we mean that <i>sincerely</i>), the issues depicted, discussed, and disparaged here are not matters of all sex work. </p>
<p>People who live off the streets; who barely manage to survive; who are victims of drugs, poverty and abuse; and, most importantly, <i>who do not feel they have the ability &amp;/or resources to better their lives</i> are groups of people dealing with those issues. If they also are sex workers, then they deal with those issues <i>while</i> a sex worker; just as a formerly abused, heroine addicted banker is dealing with abuse issues and a drug addiction while a banker.
</p><p>Would anyone say that addicts, no matter their profession, are the best decision makers?
</p><p>Who would sit still and allow any reporter to show such film footage &amp; interviews with drug addicted bankers/blacks/Italians and use statements such as "there are no numbers, but we are told..." and then sum it all up with this is how bankers/blacks/Italians any group of people are?
</p><p>Would one even ask workers in any other profession about instances of sex abuse?
</p><p>Are the hopeless &amp; depressed, frightened &amp; oppressed, to be the speakers for the entire group?
</p><p>It would be easy to go into any poor community, round up the lowest paid workers at a fast food chain and get them to bemoan their work situation ~ even cry as they admitted their hopelessness and the trials and tribulations which brought them to this place, this work. (Especially if they were given coffee or other perks for their time; and it was clear in many cases that just shelter from the wind and the cold was a rare respite for these poor women.)
</p><p>But here Diane goes, lumping all these issues under the 'sex work' umbrella as if her personally selected anecdotal interviews now spoke for all of those <i>literally countless</i> sex workers.
</p><p>We'll admit that sex work has its dangers; but the violence depicted here seems more in line with neighborhoods than the work itself.
</p><p>Wouldn't it be more logical to equate the dangers and violence of certain neighborhoods to those desperate and violent neighborhoods rather than to the profession of sex work? I'd love to know how many of those living there &amp; aren't sex workers had also been robbed and stabbed. I'd love to know what the percentages of taxi drivers, bread makers, and social workers who lived and worked in those neighborhoods had been robbed and stabbed. My guess is those numbers are much, much higher; even when accounting for higher incident reports because those not involved in sex work need not fear repercussions. And if they are lower, let's look at the number of hours spent in those areas, and again for the number of hours spent there after dark.
</p><p>The facts of life on the streets aren't scary, attention grabbing enough; Diane had to put sex and, even dirtier, sex work in the middle of it.
</p><p>And hey, stomping on a kitten isn't sex work; it's animal abuse. Anyone willing to do such a thing for money is desperate or deranged. <b>Period.</b> It doesn't matter what career choices they have made.
</p><p>But no, Diane lumps kitten killing in under the umbrella of 'sex work' rather than (any or all of) the umbrellas of 'drug addiction', 'desperation', 'mental illness', 'utter cruelty' ~ or even 'utter stupidity'.
</p><p>If we find one bastard, in any profession, who stomped on a kitten (or a puppy) for pay, are we allowed to hold that bastard up as a representative ~ in any fashion ~ of that profession?
</p><p>Had this shoddy reporting been used to 'examine' any other sector of the work force or group of people, there would be hell to pay.
</p><p>The only moments approaching the experiences of the two of us were those with the unidentified courtesan. And not just because that's the only way the two of us would (when escorting or now) appear in such a broadcast; this woman was sane, rational.
</p><p>While Diane literally said that she "couldn't accept" the courtesan's unwillingness to say she didn't feel she was losing anything special about sex or in any way say that her work made her feel dirty confused, we both knew what the courtesan was saying. Not only does this serve to illustrate more of Diane's inability to be objective, but a complete <i>unwillingness</i> to be open to considering a view point other than her own.
</p><p>Even when the courtesan told Diane that she had intimacy issues (which, by the way, dear courtesan, does not qualify as a 'mental problem' as far as we can tell; millions of high-functioning people in other professions feel the same way), we both applauded this woman's self-awareness. Like the clients who pay for an intimate relationship with limits, bravo to the young courtesan who realizes who, what and where she is in her life and does not screw up other people. Both she and her clients could lie to themselves and others, but they don't.  They arrange relationships with willing persons.
</p><p>As for why the courtesan feels she isn't ready for such intimacy, she stated that while she was not abused (nor, we'd like to state, a drug addict) she'd been hurt. Find us a person who doesn't, because they've been hurt, take quite a bit of time to heal and learn to trust again. (Better yet, find us a person who hasn't been hurt ~ in any profession.)
</p><p>Diane topped this segment off with a stern, "We could not corroborate her statements." <i>Could you</i>, <b>did you</b>, corroborate any of the statements of the drug addicts? Of the abuse victims? Of any of the sex workers?
</p><p>Yet you opted to undermine the statements of the one woman who was very positive and articulate about her sex work.
</p><p>Go figure.
</p><p>Then there were the few moments of 'where are they now' follow-ups with the workers they interviewed. The ominous 'could not be found' was used to incite fear; but perhaps each went on to get a job at Wal-Mart or McDonald's. Then again, and we don't mean to sound crass or uncaring, perhaps the drug users died of overdoses; that happens as a matter of <i>fact</i>, and is not due to sex work. Why isn't the women who was hit by her husband and 'disappeared' likely a victim of domestic violence rather than sex work?
</p><p>Because that wouldn't be as salacious, as disparaging to the sex work profession, would it.
</p><p>Diane wrapped-up the program with another mention of the Christian holiday and a quote from the bible; the one about being the first to cast a stone.
</p><p>I guess the irony of a sinning journalist stoning another profession was lost on ABC.
</p><p>But not us.
</p><p>The stigma of sex, especially as it is in this country, clouds the thinking of most people; we just didn't expect the clouds to render Diane Sawyer free of her journalistic integrity; indeed, of any rational thought.</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Show &amp; Tell Adult Meme: End Of The Year Edition</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/show-tell-adult-meme-end-year-edition" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/show-tell-adult-meme-end-year-edition</id>
    <published>2008-01-05T19:51:28-06:00</published>
    <updated>2008-01-05T19:51:28-06:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Gracie Passette</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Sex &amp; Relationships" />
    <category term="2007" />
    <category term="goals" />
    <category term="Gracie Passette" />
    <category term="relationships" />
    <category term="sex" />
    <category term="sexuality" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>** Note:  What follows is adult ~ please ignore if you are offended by frank mature conversations about human sexuality.  Thanks :)</p>
<p><b>1 What was your very favorite post you made this past year?</b></p>
<p>While I seem to enjoy making things 'all about me', and did author this question, in actuality this question makes me nervous...</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>** Note:  What follows is adult ~ please ignore if you are offended by frank mature conversations about human sexuality.  Thanks :)</p>
<p><b>1 What was your very favorite post you made this past year?</b></p>
<p>While I seem to enjoy making things 'all about me', and did author this question, in actuality this question makes me nervous...</p>
<p>But I'll go with <a href="http://blushingladies.naughtyblog.net/2007/08/fantasy-vs-reality-what-is-cheating.html" target="_blank">Fantasy Vs. Reality: What Is Cheating?</a> because it's still a very valid question/conversation.  Feel free to keep it going by adding your own thoughts.</p>
<p><b>2 What post was the most effective post you made this past year? (Based on links to it, comments, emails, sales etc.)</b></p>
<p><a href="http://www.sex-kitten.net/articles/2454326164450/Skanky_Panties_%26_The_Business_of_Faux_Fish.html" target="_blank">Skanky Panties &amp; The Business of Faux Fish Juices</a> wins, hands down (no pun intended... maybe) because of the number of emails asking for everything from who I personally knew that was ethical to how much money could they make... And oh yeah, let's not forget the number of offers for my panties.  <i>(When offers run above $250, I may just consider it!)</i></p>
<p><b>3 What are three of your favorite posts/articles that you've read this past year? (Not your own, but the works of others.) And do tell us all why you selected them.</b></p>
<p>I know I wrote this question, but I fear it may get me killed by kittens, <a href="http://www.sex-kitten.net/home.html">Sex Kittens</a> that is :p  So I'm just going to say, yet again, that all the Sex Kittens humble and awe me for their honesty, wit, humor, intelligence and desire to share with all of us.</p>
<p>And, should you be looking for more to read, check out what the kittens and tom cats are posting <a href="http://www.sex-kitten.net/discuss.php" target="_blank">in the forum</a>.</p>
<p><b>4 What was the most surprising thing you learned in 2007?</b></p>
<p>That people <span>continue</span> to prefer to email vs. posting comments, especially when it comes to sexual topics. </p>
<p><b>5 What was the most valuable thing or lesson you learned in 2007?</b></p>
<p>That flesh will remind you of the speed at which you can work.  I was very ill this year and I'm working on being kinder to my being.</p>
<p><b>6 Is there anything you wanted to learn this past year that you did not? Why not? And are you going to make this a goal for 2008?</b></p>
<p><a href="http://www.sex-kitten.net/articles/2454238173743/The_Sex_Kitten_History%3B_The_Sex_Kitten_Future.html" target="_blank">My goal to make sex more mainstream</a>, which is nearly a decade long Internet struggle ~ and longer in the 'real world', has not been met.</p>
<p>It's a very large goal and I'm beginning to see the path more clearly, even written down some of the steps I'll need to take.  I'm sure I'll announce them here as I achieve them, but I won't jinx them by listing them here.</p>
<p>It may take another decade.  And I'm committed to it.</p>
<p><b>Optional (but worth 100 extra Marketing Whore Bucks lol):</b> For most of us, guarding our identities means not taking/publishing photos, but I double-dog dare you to take some photo of yourself, crop it to remove what you think is necessary to keep your privacy but still gives something special (and hopefully naughty) of you away ~ and publish it on your blog.</p>
<p><a href="http://marketingwhore.naughtyblog.net/uploaded_images/graciepassette_grey-785207.jpg"><img src="http://marketingwhore.naughtyblog.net/uploaded_images/graciepassette_grey-785205.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p>
<p><span>To participate, <a href="http://marketingwhore.naughtyblog.net/" target="_blank">see here</a>.</span>  Thanks :)</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title> A Different Kind Of Authority For Sex Bloggers</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/different-kind-authority-sex-bloggers" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/different-kind-authority-sex-bloggers</id>
    <published>2008-01-04T09:08:32-06:00</published>
    <updated>2008-01-04T09:08:32-06:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Gracie Passette</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Blogging &amp; Social Media" />
    <category term="Media &amp; Journalism" />
    <category term="Sex &amp; Relationships" />
    <category term="adult entertainment" />
    <category term="authority" />
    <category term="blogging" />
    <category term="culture" />
    <category term="Gracie Passette" />
    <category term="internet" />
    <category term="sex work" />
    <category term="Sex Workers" />
    <category term="society" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Mainstream bloggers and adult bloggers have authority issues.</p>
<p><a href="http://marketingwhore.naughtyblog.net/2008/01/different-kind-of-authority-for-sex.html" target="_blank">Read about it here</a>.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Mainstream bloggers and adult bloggers have authority issues.</p>
<p><a href="http://marketingwhore.naughtyblog.net/2008/01/different-kind-of-authority-for-sex.html" target="_blank">Read about it here</a>.</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>HUGE Discussion on Sex Workers</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/huge-discussion-sex-workers" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/huge-discussion-sex-workers</id>
    <published>2007-09-19T01:57:18-05:00</published>
    <updated>2007-09-19T01:57:39-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Gracie Passette</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Business &amp; Career" />
    <category term="Media &amp; Journalism" />
    <category term="Sex &amp; Relationships" />
    <category term="Gracie Passette" />
    <category term="rights" />
    <category term="Sex Workers" />
    <category term="Gender" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://deepthroated.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Bound Not Gagged</a> called for a Live-Blog Response to Melissa Farley's research and writing on sex work.  I found out about Monday's event at <a href="http://www.spreadmagazine.org/blog/?p=76" target="_blank">$pread's blog</a> and while I wish I had known earlier, so I could have participated, reading at BNG is  making me feel better about missing it ~ many cool participants and well-done posts!</p>
<p>So go read, and add your comments.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://deepthroated.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Bound Not Gagged</a> called for a Live-Blog Response to Melissa Farley's research and writing on sex work.  I found out about Monday's event at <a href="http://www.spreadmagazine.org/blog/?p=76" target="_blank">$pread's blog</a> and while I wish I had known earlier, so I could have participated, reading at BNG is  making me feel better about missing it ~ many cool participants and well-done posts!</p>
<p>So go read, and add your comments.</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Green Meets Mean - Environmental Handbag Mocks Fashionistas</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/green-meets-mean-environmental-handbag-mocks-fashionistas" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/green-meets-mean-environmental-handbag-mocks-fashionistas</id>
    <published>2007-08-28T23:00:38-05:00</published>
    <updated>2007-08-28T23:01:04-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Gracie Passette</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Green" />
    <category term="Fashion" />
    <category term="environment" />
    <category term="Fashion" />
    <category term="Gracie Passette" />
    <category term="handbags" />
    <category term="women" />
    <category term="Pop Culture" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p><H3><a href="http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/green-meets-mean-environmental-handbag-mocks-fashionistas/"><img src="http://www.trendhunter.com/images/phpthumbnails/8934_1_120.jpeg" align="right" hspace="5" vspace="2" border="0" />Green Meets Mean - Environmental Handbag Mocks Fashionistas</a></h3>
</p>
<p>(<a href="http://www.trendhunter.com">TrendHunter.com</a>) Anya Hindmarch's "I'm Not A Plastic Bag" (used to tote home groceries, as well as send the message to others to skip the plastic bags) has become the hip way to announce the wor</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p><H3><a href="http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/green-meets-mean-environmental-handbag-mocks-fashionistas/"><img src="http://www.trendhunter.com/images/phpthumbnails/8934_1_120.jpeg" align="right" hspace="5" vspace="2" border="0" />Green Meets Mean - Environmental Handbag Mocks Fashionistas</a></h3></p>(<a href="http://www.trendhunter.com">TrendHunter.com</a>) Anya Hindmarch's "I'm Not A Plastic Bag" (used to tote home groceries, as well as send the message to others to skip the plastic bags) has become the hip way to announce the world that you care about the environment. Unfortunately, in many US cites one can see fashionistas carrying the bags in one h… <a href="http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/green-meets-mean-environmental-handbag-mocks-fashionistas/">[More]</a><BR /><BR />
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Bedrooms Are The New Bordellos - Sexy Boudoir Decor </title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/bedrooms-are-new-bordellos-sexy-boudoir-decor" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/bedrooms-are-new-bordellos-sexy-boudoir-decor</id>
    <published>2007-08-28T22:55:08-05:00</published>
    <updated>2007-08-28T23:03:13-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Gracie Passette</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Arts" />
    <category term="Fashion" />
    <category term="Sex &amp; Relationships" />
    <category term="bedrooms" />
    <category term="Gracie Passette" />
    <category term="home decor" />
    <category term="home fashions" />
    <category term="sexy" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p><H3><a href="http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/bedrooms-are-the-new-bordellos-sexy-bedroom-decor/"><img src="http://www.trendhunter.com/images/phpthumbnails/8716_1_120.jpeg" align="right" hspace="5" vspace="2" border="0" />Bedrooms Are The New Bordellos - Sexy Boudoir Decor (GALLERY)</a></h3>
</p>
<p>(<a href="http://www.trendhunter.com">TrendHunter.com</a>) And God Created Woman is a new company creating bedroom decor and accessories for couples.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p><H3><a href="http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/bedrooms-are-the-new-bordellos-sexy-bedroom-decor/"><img src="http://www.trendhunter.com/images/phpthumbnails/8716_1_120.jpeg" align="right" hspace="5" vspace="2" border="0" />Bedrooms Are The New Bordellos - Sexy Boudoir Decor (GALLERY)</a></h3></p>(<a href="http://www.trendhunter.com">TrendHunter.com</a>) And God Created Woman is a new company creating bedroom decor and accessories for couples.  
<p>Made from the finest textiles and tactile treats -- silk, Egyptian cotton, ostrich feathers -- in a rich but subtle color palette, sure to work in and with nearly any bedroom decor, the sensual designs from… <a href="http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/bedrooms-are-the-new-bordellos-sexy-bedroom-decor/">[More]</a><BR /><BR /></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Dress Your Lover Like A Blow-Up Doll</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/dress-your-lover-blow-doll" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/dress-your-lover-blow-doll</id>
    <published>2007-08-27T02:59:01-05:00</published>
    <updated>2007-08-28T22:52:00-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Gracie Passette</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Fashion" />
    <category term="Sex &amp; Relationships" />
    <category term="Gender" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>** The content discussed (and linked) below is of a sexual nature (and very odd). If it's not your thing, then pass on by. Thanks.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>** The content discussed (and linked) below is of a sexual nature (and very odd). If it's not your thing, then pass on by. Thanks.</p>
<p><H3><a href="http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/latex-love-doll-suit/"><img src="http://www.trendhunter.com/images/phpthumbnails/8953_1_120.jpeg" align="right" hspace="5" vspace="2" border="0" />Latex Love Doll Suit - People Dressing Like Dolls That Look Like People?</a></h3></p>(<a href="http://www.trendhunter.com">TrendHunter.com</a>) Usually blow-up dolls or other love dolls are thought of as 'the next best thing' or even 'the last resort' but now those who prefer the permanently surprised look and instant access can dress their partner as their very own love doll.
<p>The love doll suit is made of latex -- which, according to late… <a href="http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/latex-love-doll-suit/">[More]</a><BR /><BR /></p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title> What&#039;s More Important: Technorati, Alexa, Traffic, Pagerank or?</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/whats-more-important-technorati-alexa-traffic-pagerank-or" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/whats-more-important-technorati-alexa-traffic-pagerank-or</id>
    <published>2007-08-21T17:57:06-05:00</published>
    <updated>2007-08-21T17:57:06-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Gracie Passette</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Business &amp; Career" />
    <category term="Media &amp; Journalism" />
    <category term="Technology &amp; Web" />
    <category term="blogging" />
    <category term="Gracie Passette" />
    <category term="internet marketing" />
    <category term="site ranking" />
    <category term="web tools" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>From my collected emails on the subject of what tools and stats are most vital, comes a set of questions like this:</p>
<blockquote><p>I'm very confused with all the stats and ranking options... I'm not sure I have time to follow all of them. Which one or two are the most important? Isn't traffic, people actually visiting your site, the real bottom line?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Sure it's more important to get visitors to your site ~ <i><a href="http://marketingwhore.naughtyblog.net/2007/08/whats-more-important-technorati-alexa.html" target="_blank">if they arrive there looking for what you've got</a></i>.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>From my collected emails on the subject of what tools and stats are most vital, comes a set of questions like this:</p>
<blockquote><p>I'm very confused with all the stats and ranking options... I'm not sure I have time to follow all of them. Which one or two are the most important? Isn't traffic, people actually visiting your site, the real bottom line?</p></blockquote>
<p>Sure it's more important to get visitors to your site ~ <i><a href="http://marketingwhore.naughtyblog.net/2007/08/whats-more-important-technorati-alexa.html" target="_blank">if they arrive there looking for what you've got</a></i>.</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Call Me!</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/call-me" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/call-me</id>
    <published>2007-08-20T21:52:07-05:00</published>
    <updated>2007-08-20T21:52:07-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Gracie Passette</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Business &amp; Career" />
    <category term="Media &amp; Journalism" />
    <category term="Technology &amp; Web" />
    <category term="blogging" />
    <category term="Gracie Passette" />
    <category term="help" />
    <category term="internet marketing" />
    <category term="marketing" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>No, I'm not desperate after what we did last night *wink*</p>
<p><a href="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/PT_interimcall.asp?sid=7110433" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/callimage.asp?sid=7110433&amp;ImageType=1" align="left" border="0" /></a>  Due to the increasing number of emails with 'just a quick question...' I'm implementing phone consulting via Keen.</p>
<p>If you're interested, <a href="http://www.keen.com/categories/categorylist_expand.asp?sid=7110433" target="_blank">make an appointment</a> and I'll do my best to let you know when I'm available too.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>No, I'm not desperate after what we did last night *wink*</p>
<p><a href="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/PT_interimcall.asp?sid=7110433" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/callimage.asp?sid=7110433&amp;ImageType=1" align="left" border="0" /></a>  Due to the increasing number of emails with 'just a quick question...' I'm implementing phone consulting via Keen.</p>
<p>If you're interested, <a href="http://www.keen.com/categories/categorylist_expand.asp?sid=7110433" target="_blank">make an appointment</a> and I'll do my best to let you know when I'm available too.</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Minority Media &amp; Marketing</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/minority-media-marketing" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/minority-media-marketing</id>
    <published>2007-08-20T04:18:57-05:00</published>
    <updated>2007-08-20T04:18:57-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Gracie Passette</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Business &amp; Career" />
    <category term="Media &amp; Journalism" />
    <category term="Race &amp; Ethnicity" />
    <category term="United States" />
    <category term="African-American" />
    <category term="Gracie Passette" />
    <category term="history" />
    <category term="marketing" />
    <category term="media" />
    <category term="minorities" />
    <category term="publishing" />
    <category term="radio" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Straight from <a href="http://marketingwhore.naughtyblog.net/2007/08/minority-media-marketing.html" target="_blank">a 1963 interview with Leonard Evans</a>, founder of the Negro National Network and the 'Tuesday' supplement.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>Straight from <a href="http://marketingwhore.naughtyblog.net/2007/08/minority-media-marketing.html" target="_blank">a 1963 interview with Leonard Evans</a>, founder of the Negro National Network and the 'Tuesday' supplement.</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>My Thoughts On BlogHer &#039;07</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/my-thoughts-blogher-07" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/my-thoughts-blogher-07</id>
    <published>2007-08-19T20:36:06-05:00</published>
    <updated>2007-08-19T20:36:06-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Gracie Passette</name>
    </author>
    <category term="Media &amp; Journalism" />
    <category term="United States" />
    <category term="Sex &amp; Relationships" />
    <category term="BlogHer Conferences" />
    <category term="blogging" />
    <category term="Gracie Passette" />
    <category term="Gender" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I've been waiting for Libby to write up her experiences at the <a href="http://www.blogher.com/" target="_blank">BlogHer</a> Conference in Chicago (she only attended the <a href="http://www.blogher.com/blogher-surfing-sex-and-relationship-bloggers" target="_blank">"Off The Record"</a> session, at the invitation of <a href="http://susiebright.blogs.com/susie_brights_journal_/" target="_blank">Susie Bright</a> ~ part of that story is here in this <a href="http://www.blogher.com/which-i-speak-name-dropping-and-jaw-dropping" target="_blank">entertaining-not-educational post</a>), but I don't want</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>I've been waiting for Libby to write up her experiences at the <a href="http://www.blogher.com/" target="_blank">BlogHer</a> Conference in Chicago (she only attended the <a href="http://www.blogher.com/blogher-surfing-sex-and-relationship-bloggers" target="_blank">"Off The Record"</a> session, at the invitation of <a href="http://susiebright.blogs.com/susie_brights_journal_/" target="_blank">Susie Bright</a> ~ part of that story is here in this <a href="http://www.blogher.com/which-i-speak-name-dropping-and-jaw-dropping" target="_blank">entertaining-not-educational post</a>), but I don't want to forget a few comments that I have...</p>
<p>First of all, I <span>didn't</span> attend the conference ~ this is important to note. Not only since my comments on the conference are all based on what others told me, but because the reasons why I didn't attend are, I think, equally important to what did happen there.</p>
<p>For more, read: <a href="http://marketingwhore.naughtyblog.net/2007/08/thoughts-on-conference-not-attended.html" target="-blank">Thoughts On A Conference Not Attended</a>.</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Fantasy Vs. Reality:  What Is Cheating?</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/fantasy-vs-reality-what-cheating" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/fantasy-vs-reality-what-cheating</id>
    <published>2007-08-16T05:29:30-05:00</published>
    <updated>2007-08-16T05:29:30-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Gracie Passette</name>
    </author>
    <category term="United States" />
    <category term="Sex &amp; Relationships" />
    <category term="cheating" />
    <category term="fantasies" />
    <category term="Gracie Passette" />
    <category term="marriage" />
    <category term="relationships" />
    <category term="sex" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>** The content discussed (and linked) below is sexually explicit. If it's not your thing, then pass on by. Thanks.</p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>** The content discussed (and linked) below is sexually explicit. If it's not your thing, then pass on by. Thanks.<br />
This <a href="http://tmituesday.blogspot.com/2007/08/tmi-tuesday-96.html" target="_blank">week's TMI Tuesday</a> was an interesting one.  The first task was to define "infidelity" as it relates to a relationship, and <a href="http://www.sex-kitten.net/2454327001416.html" target="_blank">I stated</a> that the definition really is a unique agreement between parties and that too often this isn't actually discussed but is an unspoken set of assumptions ~ and that's where misunderstandings and heartbreak reside. </p>
<p>As a sex worker I've pondered infidelity and cheating often.  I've knowingly participated in 'his affair', and for that I'm often hated; but I know that I'm not responsible for the decisions of another.  "Isn't it unethical to come between another couple's relationship?" I'm asked.  "I can only make my own responsible decisions," is my reply, "I do not have the power to consent for anyone else."  </p>
<p>Of course, making responsible decisions for myself involves being honest and clear with myself so that I can do the same with my partner(s).  Would that we'd all be so aware.  </p>
<p>Sex workers are often quizzed on their own relationships.  "Isn't your work cheating on your partner?" I've been asked.   I never saw it that way.  It's work.  However, personally, once I began a committed relationship, it was often difficult for me to work.  My gigs, as such, were not just screwing episodes.  I put more of myself into those appointments than just my body parts.  I won't say I was in love with clients, but I sure didn't hate them.  I loved in an 'all of humanity' way and so it was intimate work for my soul.  This was more difficult when I was personally attached, or becoming so, with another.  At those times I quit.  That was my choice.  Other sex pros I know were more capable of separating personal from professional than I, and they carried on with work and relationship quite comfortably.</p>
<p>But is it cheating?  Well, not if I'm honest with my partner(s) and they agree.</p>
<p>I've discussed with partners, past and current, about how they'd feel with my continuing to work and being with them.  Most had no problems ~ perhaps because it was 'in theory'.  I cannot say for certain.  It also takes a rather open man to both have no insecurities and be free of moral judgments, so perhaps they are just that special.  Most understood the distinctions between fantasy and reality.  Paid escort work is fantasy; dating me is reality. They aren't the same experience.  (And heaven knows several of my exes wish they could pay me so that I'd be the girl they wanted!)  </p>
<p>But other people are not so clear in their understanding.</p>
<p>Another sex worker, Secondhand Rose, <a href="http://callsecondhandrose.blogspot.com/2007/08/objectify-me.html" target="_blank">recently had a conversation about her phone sex work</a>.  And it's clear that her husband's friend, Mike, doesn't trust her work, to which Rose responds:</p>
<blockquote><p>Mike, I guess you need to see the difference between action and words, between fantasy and reality. That's what entertainment is. Phone sex is about sex, yes, but it's entertainment. When you watch <i>Die Hard</i>, you aren't really blowing shit up -- you're just pretending. You're entertained. Just one of the many reasons why phone work is legal and prostitution isn't.</p></blockquote>
<p>When he is not convinced, Rose's husband speaks up:</p>
<blockquote><p>Mike: And that doesn't bother you, Rob? To know some other guy's getting off to -- <i>or even with</i> -- your wife?!</p>
<p>Rob: So what if she does? I'm not the freakin' masturbation police, or her keeper. I know for a fact she gets off writing her stories, so what's the difference if she's creating them on the phone? When she writes humor pieces I hear her giggling at her own wit at the computer -- the only danger here is that Rose will fall even more in love with herself, making her harder to live with, and her large head means we will have to buy expensive custom hats.</p></blockquote>
<p>I've often advised erotica as an outlet for those people in relationships where <a href="http://blushingladies.naughtyblog.net/2007/05/when-youre-kinkier-than-he-is.html" target="_blank">a fantasy or a fetish is not going to be shared in the relationship</a>, and I certainly include calling a PSO in that category.  But then I'm a sex worker, so I 'would', says my friend, Kim.</p>
<p>She was aghast that I'd even think such a thing.  Here's how our conversation went...</p>
<p>"Rick paying for phone sex would be cheating!"</p>
<p>"Why?  It's no different than reading an erotic story from a book or listening to recorded erotica ~ other than this is less passive, it's interactive."</p>
<p>"That's the problem ~ he'd be getting off with her, not just the story."</p>
<p>"He'd be getting off to a story, a fantasy, she's creating for him.  It's not 'her' as a person."</p>
<p>"She is a person, and she's talking sex with my husband!"</p>
<p>"Yes, but she's not 'herself'; she's a fantasy."  </p>
<p>"But he's telling her private, intimate things..."</p>
<p>"Yes, but things you've made it clear he shouldn't share with you.  It's about the fantasy, not her."</p>
<p>"But what if he likes that she can go there and so starts to fall for her...?"</p>
<p>"If he should do that then he's just as likely to fall for some chick in a magazine or on TV.  He's not living here but in fantasy land.  It can happen ~ it does happen ~ but as a pro, she'll set him back right.  She'll tell him where the lines are, and if he can't grasp that, she'll not accept his calls."</p>
<p>"How can you be so sure?"</p>
<p>"A female sex worker is still a woman.  She doesn't want to be some fantasy woman adored for the illusion, she too wants to be adored for herself.  She's not going to accept a relationship where it's clearly based on the fantasy, a fantasy world, not reality.  That's why I say a pro is better than some chat room or a 'free' call ~ she's a pro, not someone desperate for or playing at a relationship.  The pro will play, be entertainment; but she's not going to be satisfied with playing pretend for the rest of her life."</p>
<p>"What if she is?"</p>
<p>"Then she's as unstable as the guy and they're both in trouble.  Does that sound like Rick?"</p>
<p>She said, "No," but she's still not convinced that Rick calling a PSO would be the same as his masturbating to photos online, to a porno, or to a story in a book... </p>
<p>What do you say?  Is calling a phone sex operator cheating?  Or is it the same as any other sex fantasy read in a book or in photos?</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>In Which I Speak of Name Dropping and Jaw Dropping</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.blogher.com/which-i-speak-name-dropping-and-jaw-dropping" />
    <id>http://www.blogher.com/which-i-speak-name-dropping-and-jaw-dropping</id>
    <published>2007-08-08T04:08:35-05:00</published>
    <updated>2007-08-18T14:49:33-05:00</updated>
    <author>
      <name>Gracie Passette</name>
    </author>
    <category term="United States" />
    <category term="Sex &amp; Relationships" />
    <category term="Gracie Passette" />
    <category term="porn stars" />
    <category term="sex" />
    <category term="sex-kitten.net" />
    <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<p>** The content discussed (and linked) below is sexually explicit.  If it's not your thing, then pass on by. Thanks.</p>
<p>At 2 a.m. on what technically would be yesterday (Tuesday), my phone rings and it's Libby.</p>
<p><i>"You'll never guess what just happened! Guess!"</i></p>
    ]]></summary>
    <content type="html"><![CDATA[<p>** The content discussed (and linked) below is sexually explicit.  If it's not your thing, then pass on by. Thanks.</p>
<p>At 2 a.m. on what technically would be yesterday (Tuesday), my phone rings and it's Libby.</p>
<p><i>"You'll never guess what just happened! Guess!"</i></p>
<p>Since the last time Libby called was about 10 days ago (at 1 in the morning) to announce (in her typical excited question format, "Do you know who <a href="http://susiebright.blogs.com/susie_brights_journal_/" target="_blank">Susie Bright</a> is?" ~ like duh!) that she had met Susie at a gathering at <a href="http://www.sex-kitten.net/2454258212626.html" target="_blank">Jack Hafferkamp</a>'s, I obnoxiously replied, <i>"You just had sex with Susie Bright?"</i></p>
<p>Libby does not skip a beat:  <i>"No, but it's close!"</i></p>
<p>I ponder the plethora of lovely options.  She is so excited that waiting more than one second is killing her, so she says, <i>"Guess whose dick was just in my mouth?"</i></p>
<p>Again, I am left with a plethora of options ~ though not all quite so lovely because Libby is afterall a sex worker.  </p>
<p>And again the few seconds pause is killng her.</p>
<p><i>"I'll give you a hint, it's the most famous dick in the world!"</i></p>
<p>Right away I have a pretty good idea who that is, but it's fun to mess with her.  <i>"Dead or alive?"</i> I ask, barely able to contain my laughter.</p>
<p>This actually slows her down.  <i>"What?"</i></p>
<p><i>"This 'most famous dick' ~ are we talking dead or alive?"</i> I say, biting the inside of my cheek a bit so I don't laugh (or snort).</p>
<p><i>"Whaa.."</i></p>
<p>Oh, I know it's cruel; but really, I'm the one sitting at home editing while she's out having a decadent time.  A little fun is required here.  So I continue to toy with her.  </p>
<p><i>"If it's really the most famous dick, it would belong to a dead guy... But that seems a bit unlikely, even for you..."</i></p>
<p><i>"Who are you talking about?"</i></p>
<p><i>"Holmes.  Johnny Wad.  The most famous dick in the world,"</i> I say.</p>
<p>She sighs, slows herself down a bit (and I bet she's partially considering debating whether or not Holmes would be more famous than this dick) before she says, <i>"OK, so whose got the most famous dick currently alive?"</i></p>
<p>Before she can quite get it all out I am laughing, <i>"So you had <a href="http://www.sex-kitten.net/2454320052327.html" target="_blank">Ron Jeremy's dick in your mouth</a> tonight."</i></p>
<p>Her sigh of relief is quickly replaced by her loud scream:  <i>"Can you believe it?!"</i></p>
<p>Of course I can; this is our Libby.</p>
    ]]></content>
  </entry>
</feed>
