I’m talking about myself, actually. If you don’t know, I’ve been formally unemployed for about half a year and for the first few months I depended only from a little amount I possessed in my savings accounts. And it’s amazing how God is so kind for letting me still survive.
]]>I’m talking about myself, actually. If you don’t know, I’ve been formally unemployed for about half a year and for the first few months I depended only from a little amount I possessed in my savings accounts. And it’s amazing how God is so kind for letting me still survive.
For the past two or three months, I’ve been no longer able to afford to buy monthly feminine napkins (sad, I know, but I’m fine). As I’ve told you initially, this state made me more creative (and grateful, for sure). I took several sheets of old cloths from my closet, shredded them into a few pieces, and folded them to be a bit thick and voila… my usable, DIY feminine napkins :)
At the first try, I got blotches throughout my sensitive area, but now not anymore (I suspected it was caused by the thickness of the folded cloths, I don’t know).
Anyway, I’m not yet satisfied with my creation---I mean it’s still so primitive, so lots of times it feels a little uncomfortable. Do you guys happen to have some ideas in making comfortable and earth-friendly usable, DIY feminine napkins?
]]>Speaking of the word introvert, I don’t actually like labeling myself that way (or with any other label), but the said word makes myself pretty easy to describe a part of myself. Yes, I am an introvert. But if I stick with Wikipedia’s explanation, then I’m both introverted and shy. This following definition is so very me!
Introversion is “the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one’s own mental life”. Introverts tend to be low-key, deliberate, and relatively less engaged in social situations. They often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, drawing, watching movies, and using computers. The archetypal artist, writer, sculptor, composer and inventor are all highly introverted. An introverted person is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people (although they tend to enjoy interactions with close friends). They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate.
Introversion is not the same as shyness. Introverts choose solitary over social activities by preference, whereas shy people avoid social encounters out of fear.
An introvert is energized when alone. Introverts tend to “fade” when with people and can easily become overstimulated with too many others around. Introverts tend to think before speaking.
Although Wikipedia sees introverts not as a ‘bad’ thing, most people do, I guess. Here’s an article (via Alaskan Girl) which proves that:
With their endless appetite for talk and attention, extroverts also dominate social life, so they tend to set expectations. In our extrovertist society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. "People person" is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like "guarded," "loner," "reserved," "taciturn," "self-contained," "private"—narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality. Female introverts, I suspect, must suffer especially. In certain circles, particularly in the Midwest, a man can still sometimes get away with being what they used to call a strong and silent type; introverted women, lacking that alternative, are even more likely than men to be perceived as timid, withdrawn, haughty.
[…]
That...so sums up the kind of extrovert hegemony that can make life miserable. I think it's particularly hard for girls and women. "You'd be so much more popular if you'd talk more." It seems to me that the world would be a much better place, and that people would be much more rightly popular, if they talked less. Because so little of what most people say is actually worth hearing.
If you’re an introvert yourself and have been posing the very same question without really comprehending the answer, here are the possibilities I’ve compiled of why you become BOTH an introvert and a shy person:
The four possibilities above seem kind of negative, don’t you think? As hard as it is sometimes to be both introverted and timid, I’m trying to keep in mind my very own therapy: forget about what your parents did in your childhood, forget about those media, forget about those outgoing people, it may likely that you become what you are now as a genuine natural process. Do remember, being an introvert and a shy person isn’t a crime or even a sin.
I don’t assume that as denial, as I am not trying to deny anything. I’m just struggling to stop asking the "why" and to avoid thinking so negative almost every time.
]]>Now I’m proudly announcing that I’ve just launched my bi-monthly electronic magazine, Gorgeous Inspirations.
]]>Now I’m proudly announcing that I’ve just launched my bi-monthly electronic magazine, Gorgeous Inspirations.
Actually (and technically), I have had established it approximately two years ago, when I was still studying at uni. At the time, I just wanted to start something (I always dream of owning a print-published magazine--besides writing my books, but it wasn’t that simple, obviously), so I took my extremely first small step: having a magazine-blog.
Not long after that, I decided to apply my humble knowledge on basic HTML, and then a web site was created as a bi-monthly online magazine.
Later on, my previous teaching job sucked too many of my time, I determined to transform the web site into a ‘serious’ Wordpress blog (no longer hosted by a free blog hosting) whilst rummaging around of how to create a magazine in PDF format.
I found a free PDF software (since it’s free, I can’t get special features of the concerning PDF format), eventually, so I made my first ‘semi-real’ magazine in that format. This time it’s semi-profit-oriented (nobody really support me financially, that’s why). But you know what, if I weren’t in this lack-of-cold-hard-cash state, I would do the magazine for free, why not? It’s my passion, after all.
Apart from the magazine, I even feel that I need to sell most of my books from my shelf as well. Yeah, I’m that badly in need of notes.
About a week ago, a friend I met at a journalistic training three years ago, suggested me to apply to a brand new newspaper company as a journalist. Being aware of my current condition, frankly speaking, I was so tempted to follow what my friend proposed. I mean, come on, despite the fact that I'm kind of 'broke', I was once the editor-in-chief of one student organization’s magazine and I attended a quality journalistic training program in which Janet Steele taught us, I’m destined to take the job--but after a few days of considering and a bit of contemplating, I came to a decision to say no. I had visualized how the job would be, what I would do every day, and the consequences… I guess the job isn’t for me. Don’t want to repeat my previous bad job experience, absolutely.
Well, at least I’ve made some actions (I didn’t even think about telling about this to my parents--let them think that I’m truly jobless and never try to act to be more productive, for all I care).
]]>Ever since I had the idea to desert my prior job (and that idea, by the way, were present from the very first time I started working), whether it was just my feeling or it was really a sign or something, I began to hear few stories about people who walked out of their big-time jobs ‘only’ to pursue their passion and idealism.
And just right after I quit, more stories seemed coming more.
For instance, I remember a story about a woman banker who quit her job to become a trapeze athlete. This one happened in the US.
Some other examples took place in my country, Indonesia:
Three young women left a great IT company to run their own online bookstore http://www.kutukutubuku.com.
A man who also had a great position in an IT company decided to give up his job so that he can take care of his cats at home. Now he runs a cat business (I mean, he makes cat houses to be sold).
A hotel manager chose leave his hotel to involve more in his community to help poor people (and he doesn’t get any payment whatsoever).
A man, in the state of needing so much money to continue his life, rejected many ‘office works’ to build his dream; a tourism portal http://www.yogyes.com.
Or this one (a new Sunsilk ad on TV): a woman leaves her office work to reach her dream to go to Venice, Italy.
All to name a few.
Messages?
]]>Well, thanks to: 1) still living in parent’s house so I don’t have to think about mortgage and food (in my country and my religion, your parents are supposed to support you (daughters) financially as long as you're not married yet, but I don’t get that privilege whatsoever ever since I got a job a year ago, not to mention after I quit the concerning job), 2) much lesser consumptive habit, 3) God that beyond doubt is kind.
Even so, I still have to pay off my laptop debt (still six months to go) and that’s the hardest part, I suppose. I’ve tried countless of efforts to earn at least sufficient money to pay my debt for each month, yet I had to add another new debt to pay the last month’s laptop debt. *sigh*
Though I, however, don’t regret my decision of quitting my teaching job (and thank God I don’t have to teach), I really do feel that this is the time when reality hits me for the second time. The second time, as I’ve been in this situation even long before I knew how it feels to have a job.
Then one day, all over again, God led me to turn on the TV. For the third or fourth time, the TV station had the rerun of Oprah—-and guess what, the one with her interview with Elizabeth Gilbert! I was almost gawking before the TV, trying to absorb “what is it that God trying to say to me by showing me again this rerun episode?”
As the same as what I did when I watched the episode for the second and third time, this time I had the attempt to listen more, even each, single word both women said during the show. And just before the show was over, a light of 25-watt light bulb or something popped up in my head: “I’m going to start writing a book about reclaiming my own life.”
I know, I know, kind of exaggerating, but that really happened in my mind. I was like, “okay, let’s write a book that will record your journey in proving yourself (and the world—-okay, at least your family and friends) that quitting your big-time job isn’t a mistake!”
So, since then, by the help of my journal (or diary, as you say so), I note down every single thing that has to do with the vis-à-vis topic. Just trying to prove that, even have to live ‘poorly’ (I use the quotes as I realize that I’m somewhat much more lucky than some other people out there), I can smile throughout my days, I can be grateful by what have been given to me for decades of my life, and definitely I can really do what I love for a living. I understand that this proving-to-the-world task needs years, but I’m ready :)
--Diar, www.gorgeousinspirations.com
]]>Elizabeth Gilbert's journey to reclaim her life reminds me of my own effort to reclaim my own life by quitting my day job as a university lecturer.
I notice how many people look at my job as sort of prestigious, not to mention that I got the job at the age of 22 (while I had only a bachelor's degree), not long after I graduated from uni.
]]>Elizabeth Gilbert's journey to reclaim her life reminds me of my own effort to reclaim my own life by quitting my day job as a university lecturer.
I notice how many people look at my job as sort of prestigious, not to mention that I got the job at the age of 22 (while I had only a bachelor's degree), not long after I graduated from uni.
Looking back, I sometimes think "I should've followed my intuition, I should've paid more attention on what I felt about applying to the job, I should've..., I should've...", but that's history now. I no longer regret my decision to apply to the job, as at the time I only tried to make my dad happy and satisfied, though at the time I felt something was wrong about applying to the job, though at the time I wasn't comfortable in the first place about applying to the job, and though at the time I knew I never wanted to teach for a living though (ironically) I majored in English teacher education.
And I absolutely don't regret my decision to study what I studied in uni, though the major was chosen for me by my family.
I did have some fun and do get lessons from my four-year study and from my one-year experience of teaching uni students--these shall not be my reasons to feel any kinds of regret.
But after four years dealing with a study I never really chose in person and after one year doing a job I never really chose to apply personally, I knew it was time for me to reclaim my own life--in which I can decide things on my own.
Mid of March 2008--after almost a year working on something I never feel proud of, after almost a year going to bed every night restlessly for knowing that the next mornings I had to do something I didn't enjoy, after almost a year waking up every morning feeling stressed, after almost a year making teaching materials, lesson plans, and assignments I never really wanted to make, after almost a year having meetings to discuss things I never actually wanted to discuss--I eventually prepared my heart to file a resignation letter. Late March, I was totally free to do something that I've been in love with--writing and blazing the way of having my very own business (though I do know that it'd take years to accomplish).
But I wasn't financially prepared. Quitting my job even led me to a huge debt, as I had to pay the fine the uni charged me (50% of all paychecks I received). I didn't (and still don't) have much money on my savings accounts and I was (and still am) practically unemployed, no job that brings up money to pay my needs. Yet, I still survive (thank Lord). And am still trying, trying, and trying. Still struggling, struggling, and struggling.
I knew in the first place, that quitting my day job means living poorly in terms of finance. But only in finance, while I still have my God--everybody's God; the God of the riches and the God of the poor--so I need not to worry, as long as I keep struggling hard and praying hard.
Wish me luck :)
]]>One close example, my best friend cut her hair real short after she broke up with her boyfriend. She even changed her tomboy style into a feminine one.
And I did cut my hair short recently, not long after I quit my day job.
I wonder what's going on with us, women, and our hair, and our feelings. Don't you feel some kind of mystery in it?
]]>One close example, my best friend cut her hair real short after she broke up with her boyfriend. She even changed her tomboy style into a feminine one.
And I did cut my hair short recently, not long after I quit my day job.
I wonder what's going on with us, women, and our hair, and our feelings. Don't you feel some kind of mystery in it?
My decision to cut my hair was as a kind of symbol of freedom or something, but I still can't really comprehend why it has to be represented by the hair.
Anyone willing to explain or shoot a perspective?
--Diar
]]>It is so true that lots of times it's pretty hard to be different.
It's pretty hard to be the only woman who wears headscarf while others around you don't.
]]>It is so true that lots of times it's pretty hard to be different.
It's pretty hard to be the only woman who wears headscarf while others around you don't.
It's pretty hard to be the only person who brings drinking flask to work and get your working partners stare at your flask, as if you can read their minds, "Only kindergarten pupils here in town who bring flasks."
Well, yes, it is apparently pretty hard to be the only person on the store cashier that says no to plastic bags, even before the cashierperson takes the plastics to put all your stuff you buy into them.
Sometimes the cashierperson before me gruntles and sometimes looks freakingly confused.
Actually, the cashierpersons are not the only people who always give me a "what is this person trying to do, saying no to plastic bags, while I'm here trying to be nice to put her goods into the store plastic bags?" look, but other customers of the stores also.
So, looks like my problem in trying to be a greener shopper (in terms of the use of shopping bag, for this matter) isn't about my preference of the shopping bag, but about how other people might think about my preference. But so far, I'm pretty glad to be different :)
]]>The episode still motivates me to do at least one good thing to participate reducing the global warming effect.
]]>The episode still motivates me to do at least one good thing to participate reducing the global warming effect.
Now I understand that it matters, even, to unplug the power cord of each of our electronic device when we don't use any. I've been learning to do that for the past few days and get myself used to it more. Well, except for one thing.
I still can't stand the lure to keep the radio on even when I'm already asleep. I need sounds around me when I go to sleep, that's all. What a waste of energy! But seriously, I can't have no-sounds state!
Oh, and then I've been planning to buy a canvas or cotton bag, so that everytime I shop, I can just use that instead of receiving those non-recyclable (is this the right term?) plastic bags. I shopped a few days ago and while walking around the aisles, I remembered that I had not bought any of the bags I planned before *sigh*. I couldn't find any canvas bag I searched for in the supermarket I went into, so I took the plastic bags the cashierperson gave me.
During my shopping hour, I tried to remember what the eco expert told the audience to do when choosing recyclable bottles of water--find number 2 or 4 at the bottom of the bottles. All bottles in that supermarket were number 1 only.
Speaking of which, I don't even have any information about recyling area in the city I live in. As a matter of fact, I don't know it's just me or something, but it's not that easy to live in healthy and eco-friendly states here, as there aren't many health products sold--you know, like the ones shown on Oprah. But I believe I should identify more. And I like this new 'task' of being independent in using my own effort to live in green--just don't ask me to plant any seed, just still can't :)
]]>An Islamic preacher once said something about camels. Camels are different from other animals. They are picky in having sex (is this even the right terminology in the world of animal?). I mean concerning the place for doing it. They prefer to have sex in a special, provided, hidden place. Well, it's logical for me--having sex is a personal, private stuff, after all.
]]>An Islamic preacher once said something about camels. Camels are different from other animals. They are picky in having sex (is this even the right terminology in the world of animal?). I mean concerning the place for doing it. They prefer to have sex in a special, provided, hidden place. Well, it's logical for me--having sex is a personal, private stuff, after all.
So, what can humans learn from camels? You can guess. I've been reading and hearing (way too much) news on couples (whether or not they're husbands and wives) making out in public places, including in graveyards.
You see, camels still own this 'politeness' or manner, why can't humans?
]]>I mean, besides the sexual kind-of-thing, what do they do every day? You know, you spend your whole life, your each single hour with the same exact person, what do you do with him in living your days?
I've been observing my dad and my stepmom. Everyday, they take care their two-and-a-half-month adopted baby, talk with the baby, do some chores in turn, and talk about some neighbors and colleagues and relatives. Every day, and that's their pattern.
I have read lots of THEORIES on why people getting married, but when it comes to REALITY, I just wonder... despite all of the theories, why do people get married when in the end, they just accomplish the talking-with-each-other kind of life? Why are most married couples are so eager to have childrren? Why do they want children? And for those who decide not to have children, how come they have the decision to get married without wanting to have children--what are they going to do every single day--in an 'empty' house, only the two of them?
Now, people around me can't stop asking me on when I'm gonna tie the knot--whereas they know exactly that I don't have any future groom. I believe I should pursue the answer to my (simple but tough) question first. I don't wanna get married just because that's the 'normal cycle' in life.
]]>I was kind of in an urgent to buy a voucher in a cell phone shop, though I was in the middle of exhausting state. I went to one shop that I regularly buy vouchers there (as they sell vouchers in not-out-of-their-mind's prices). I was so tired, I could barely smile. But today, the shop attendant smiled at me right only after I parked my motorcycle! She was so sweet, I--in an instant--forgot the exhaustion. It was my lucky morning, then :)
]]>I was kind of in an urgent to buy a voucher in a cell phone shop, though I was in the middle of exhausting state. I went to one shop that I regularly buy vouchers there (as they sell vouchers in not-out-of-their-mind's prices). I was so tired, I could barely smile. But today, the shop attendant smiled at me right only after I parked my motorcycle! She was so sweet, I--in an instant--forgot the exhaustion. It was my lucky morning, then :)
]]>Nora Ephron co-wrote and directed a beautiful movie like "Sleepless In Seattle", so the first time I found out her look, "She must have 'something' about her," I thought. And she does. Oh, I really do appreciate her inner beauty.
]]>Nora Ephron co-wrote and directed a beautiful movie like "Sleepless In Seattle", so the first time I found out her look, "She must have 'something' about her," I thought. And she does. Oh, I really do appreciate her inner beauty.
In her 65 years of age (at the time the show was run), the hilarious Nora looks awesome and down-to-earth. And I especially love her philosophies on aging. I will always remember her wisdoms. But maybe my most favorite is when she says that, before we're old, we must savor each moment we have--the donut, the rain, everything. She's someone who's been in this old earth for more than 50 years, she must understand this so well, so I trust her.
Regards,
Diar Adhihafsari
http://thedebutante.livejournal.com
www.gorgeousinspirations.com
Well, truth is, that she wasn't the very first cashierwoman I know that didn't give smile to customers. I've seen many who were (and some still are) like her. What's with this phenomenon? That customers are no longer the kings?
]]>Well, truth is, that she wasn't the very first cashierwoman I know that didn't give smile to customers. I've seen many who were (and some still are) like her. What's with this phenomenon? That customers are no longer the kings?
]]>If I were that woman, I'd put the shoes carefully in one of the shelves of my cupboard and would only use them in very, very special occasions, like a big party or a wedding reception, for instance.
But hey, I'm NOT her :)
]]>