But still. I see your posts and Twitters and coments, and I hear you talking: OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR TO BLOGHER?!? Let's think about it this way: what would you wear to any function that would involve networking and socializing and meeting new people?

Oh right, that's why this is so hard.

I could give you all sorts of fancy advice about wrap dresses (chic! and fashionable!) and shirt dresses (easy to dress up! and down!) and jeans (dark rinse! mid rise!), but the real truth is this: any time you go some place new, any place that is unfamiliar and different, you need to wear what is comfortable for you, because when you are comfortable in your clothes, it is easier to be comfortable in your skin.

I really believe that.

It's easy, when you're going some place different and meeting new people, to fall into the trap of thinking that the best strategy is to buy a WHOLE NEW WARDROBE! or at least a few strategic pieces, but I promise you, this isn't the solution. New clothes won't make you a new person, and while I'm not opposed to picking up a few carefully chosen things for any trip, I strongly advise you to stick with what works for you. In other words, feel free to replace your faded and worn black pants with some new ones, but don't decide that this would be the time to dress more like Carrie Bradshaw and less like a soccer mom.

But why not seize this opportunity to recreate yourself? Why not take a chance and change your look? Because who you are isn't about how you look. Oh, sure, it's always a good idea to look professional and appropriate (no flip flops! seriously) but if you're a capris and a tee kind of girl, a new venue may not be the best place to experiment with stilettos and a tube top. Be yourself, even if that means wearing what you wear every day.

Does this mean that you're doomed to spend your entire trip to San Francisco or Denver or Albany or wherever you're going in the yoga pants and tank top you wore to chase your toddler around today? No. But it means that you should stay with what you know, with what's comfortable. If you wear mostly pants in your regular life, wear pants to this new venue; if you don't like heels, choose some cute flats.

While you're staying with what you know, though, think outside the box. Instead of those Crocs, get yourself some cute metallic ballet flats; instead of a tank top, look for a twinset or an embellished tee. Define your basic look and then dress it up, make it festive. Be yourself, but spiffier.

When you choose a look that is a version of what you wear every day, you will feel like yourself, and in a room full of people you've never met before, that matters. People want to get to know YOU, not your shoes or your dress. Be yourself, in clothes that fit and flatter you and feel comfortable, and your real personality will shine through. I promise.

Who else has advice about what to wear to BlogHer?

Kristin at Motherhood Uncensored suggests a sleeping baby. Amanda at The Wink has enlisted her daughters to help choose her outfits (they've got style, those girls). Baby Faith is dressing a mama and a tot for BlogHer. And Rhi in Pink has asked her readers what THEY are wearing.

Susan Wagner writes about style at Fashion Find and The Working Closet, and about everything else at Friday Playdate. Come see what's she's wearing at the Fashion and Shopping Birds of a Feather session at BlogHer!

I have issues. Let's just move on.

What are the most likely travel hassles? Flight delays, for one, which can lead to connections so tight that you only make your second flight by sprinting through the airport; lost luggage, for another, which can leave you wearing the clothes you traveled in for days. Choose the right outfit, though, and you can easily survive both of these worst case scenarios.

Before you actually get in your closet and choose an outfit, think about what you will be doing during your day of travel: lifting bags, walking fast, sitting in all sorts of random places. You want to put together an outfit that makes it possible to do all of those things and still look good.

You also want an outfit that you could wear for more than one day, if need be; if you arrive at your destination but your luggage goes elsewhere, you don't want to have to spend the next day or two in that vintage Aerosmith tee and low rise jeans. Although you really don't want to be wearing that in the first place. Seriously.

Avoid white or light colored pants (they'll be dirty before you even get on the plane), long flowy skirts (you'll only get tangled in all that fabric), and anything strappy and revealing (your laptop bag slips off your shoulder and suddenly you're showing your cleavage to an entire Southwest flight). Skip short skirts and short shorts; they're not appropriate for flying. And for the love of all that is holy, NO FLIP FLOPS. Or stiletto heels, either. If you have to run to make your connection, you'll want some real shoes.

And don't even get me started about what kind of predicament you will be in if your plane goes down. Just don't.

So what SHOULD you wear? Think about your destination: what will the weather be like? what will you be doing when you arrive? who will you see when you land? Be prepared for weather that is hotter or colder than where you started your travel day; there's nothing more miserable then arriving and realizing that you are going to freeze/swelter for the duration of your trip to the hotel.  By the same token, don't ever assume that you can fly in your pajamas and get cleaned up before you have to talk to anyone important; you never know who will be in the airport or the hotel lobby. Assume that you're going to run into the most important person you will see during your entire trip in baggage claim and dress appropriately.

Dressing appropriately doesn't mean wearing your little black dress on the plane, but it does mean making an effort to look professional and stylish and pulled together. Layers are ideal for airline travel; flights can be hot or cold, and having the option to add or subtract a jacket or sweater is an easy way to build an outfit. Start with comfortable pants, in a dark color; add a blouse or tee, and a sweater or jacket. Choose flat shoes that are easy to slip on and off for security checks and comfortable to walk (or run!) in.

If you will need a jacket at your destination, wear it on the plane; that way, you're covered if your luggage goes missing AND if you run into someone really important in the airport. Speaking of your luggage going missing, toss the following into your carry on, just in case: clean underwear, deoderant, and whatever makeup you can't live without. You'll be glad you did.

Traveing make you tired? 15 Minute Beauty Fanatic has the lowdown on the perfect concealer. Pregnant and looking for inspiration? Allie at My Wardrobe Today is blogging her maternity wear. And finally in an ACTUAL travel related post, Amy Hatch writes about shopping on vacation. She has some good tips, if I do say so myself.

Susan Wagner writesa about style at Fashion Find and The Working Closet, and about everything else at Friday Playdate. God only knows what she will be wearing on the flight to San Francisco, but it will NOT include flip flops.

If that worrisome bit is your upper arm, take heart; there are simple strategies for camouflaging the wattle that do not involve long sleeves and a cardigan sweater. Thank goodness.

The secret to making your arms look great is to think carefully about length (wait, wasn't that the secret to making your legs look good in shorts? Why yes it was! Funny that). Your inclination, if you are trying to camouflage a little extra on the upper arm, may be to go with a sleeve that falls to the elbow, but this rarely works; instead of hiding what concerns you, all that fabric makes your arms look shorter and wider. Opt for a sleeve that falls about halfway to your elbow, at the most.

Look at different sleeve shapes as well; a cap sleeve works well if you are fairly slim, while a kimono sleeve is good for wider shoulders. A little fluttery sleeve is a simple way to make a basic tee more feminine, but be sure to choose one that is in proportion to your size and shape; if you have small arms, go with a small ruffle, but if your arms are larger, look for a more substantial flutter.

Don't be tempted by sleeves that are the wrong size for your frame. A little sleeve over a big arm will make that arm look even bigger, which is precisely what we're trying to avoid. The same is true for the very big sleeve over the very thin arm. More than anything, proportion is what will make you look lean and chic, no matter what your size.

Instead of worrying just about that one wee little wobbly place on your upper arm (oh we all have one, admit it) look at the whole shape of your top or tee. Choose tops that fit well all over, and are the right shape for your body. Think about the neckline on your top -- the right neck will draw the eye away from your arms and toward your face, and really, isn't that where you want people to look? A V neck elongates your neck, while a scoop neck will widen your shoulders. Crew neck tees and tops are good on women with slim shoulders and small breasts, while a slight V shape works well for women with broader shoulders and wider chests.

Make sure that every top, no matter how dressy or casual, fits properly through the bust; a top that is straining over large breasts or flapping over small ones does nothing to make your arms look more sleek.

What if you really LIKE your arms and shoulders -- what then?  Go sleeveless, of course, but do it thoughtfully. A halter is one option, but it is one that works best if you have small breasts.  Also be wary of the halter/deep V neck combination; that's a little TOO much skin for a grown up woman.  Choose one part of your upper body to focus on, in this case, either shoulders or cleavage, but don't try to show off both.  A crew neck halter is a nice choice for day or evening, as is a racer back tank or tee.

Want more options?  A Mom in Red High Heels shows you how to work a tunic and capris.  Trisha at Omiru talkd you through what to wear if you've got heavy arms AND a tummy.  Sensational Image Consulting provides a comprehensive list of links to articles about concealing your arms.

Coming on Saturday: what to wear on the plane (no flip flops, please).

Susan Wagner writes about style at Fashion Find and The Working Closet, and about everything else at Friday Playdate. She hopes you will join her for the Fashion and Shopping Birds of a Feather session at BlogHer.

I have a small chest and large hips and a long torso. I also have two kids, which means that inevitably I wind up getting in the pool, rather than just lounging on a deck chair. I need a suit that I can swim in and walk around in and make lunch in.

I'm still looking for that suit.

What's the secret to finding the perfect swimsuit? Oh I wish I knew.

Fortunately, some other really smart people DO know!

Melissa Kagan at iVillage has compiled a great tutorial on finding the right suit for every shape.

It's bathing suit season again. But if you'd rather relocate to Alaska than have to go through the dreaded task of shopping for a swimsuit, don't book your ticket yet. All you need for a positive suit-buying experience is a little know-how. Recognizing which swimsuit style is most flattering for your shape is half the battle. The other half is realizing that there are very few perfect bodies out there and that everyone is self-conscious about some part of their figure.

Michelle offers tips for flattering hips, thighs, busts, and torsos of various sizes and shapes, and offers practical suggestions for your hard-to-fit area. Mix and match her suggestions for multiple difficult areas.

Once you know how to deal with your problem areas (I hate that phrase, but you know what I mean) you can skip on over to Everything But Water and check out the hot trends for 2008. Their list is exhaustive, and is organized into useful categories, including inspiration, fabric treatment, color, and accent. Everything you need to know about what's hot for summer is right here.

Now that you know what you're looking for and what's out there, it's time to shop. Plan to try on a LOT of suits; if you're ordering from the Internet or a catalog order multiple sizes (the size you think you need plus one size up and one size down). Don't buy or keep anything that doesn't fit properly; you're better off with ONE suit that really works than with three that only sort of work. Trust me, I know.

Who has the best suits? I'm a big fan of Lands' End, which has a wide range of sizes and shapes to suit every body. Lands' End also provides convenient returns at Sears stores nationwide, which makes ordering three or four or ten suits worthwhile.

Finally, how about a short history of the swimsuit? Fashion Era's got it! For all of you who are wishing that swimwear covered up a little more of you -- it used to, you know. Not that long ago. Be thankful for the tankini; it's a lot easier than what women used to wear.

Susan Wagner writes about style at Fashion Find and The Working Closet, and everythign else at Friday Playdate. Please join her for a Fashion and Shopping Birds of a Feather session at BlogHer.

A J. Crew leather tote, I told her. Think more expensive, she responded. Birkin bag, I said. Not THAT expensive, she said.

Imagine, she said, that this is the Last Bag you will Ever Buy, the bag you will carry every day. What would you buy?

A leather tote, I told her, big enough to carry a laptop but sleek enough to take everywhere. A bag that was basic and beautiful all at once, with clean lines and distinctive hardware. If I could find that bag, I would buy it in a heartbeat.

After that conversation, I continued to think about this idea of the Last Bag, the investment bag if you will, the bag that costs perhaps the equivalent of all the bags currently in your closet but actually works with everything, unlike the bags in your current closet, and is made to last, unlike the bags in your current closet. And then recently, I had the chance to road test a Kara James bag, and I was completely convinced: this is the Last Bag.

Too bad I have to send it back this week.

Kara James makes beautiful bags -- the one currently sitting on my dining room table is an Ella, the same one pictured here. These bags are not inexpensive -- the Ella retails for $425.00 -- but they are certainly affordable, and they are beautifully made and incredibly versatile. The Ella is large enough to hold my laptop or my camera, as well as all the other random stuff I need to get through the day. The wide strap made it easy to carry when it was chock full, and gave it support and structure when it was nearly empty.

The interior has five pockets, for sunglasses and cell phone and business cards and lip gloss and keys and whatever else you don't want to lose at the bottom of your big bag. The lining has a subtle print, just enough to make the interior as pretty as the exterior.

But if this is the Last Bag, there needs to be more to it than that, doesn't there? Because the fear with the investment bag is that one day you will get bored and be stuck with it because you spent so much money, and because it is the only bag in your closet and you are compelled to keep carrying it. Kara James has thought of that; these bags have interchangeable belts that change the look simply and inexpensively. This is an investment bag that can be updated, seasonally or annually or whenever the whim strikes.

This really is the Last Bag.

But what about the price? $425.00 is a lot of money for a handbag; think of all the Target bags you could pick up for that! Why, think about all the bags in your closet right now! You probably didn't spend $425.00 on ALL of them!

And really, that's the point: paring down sometimes means spending more, because in the long run, you will be shopping less. You will also spend less time changing bags or feeling like the bag you are currently carrying doens't work for weekends or evenings or the office or wherever it is that you are going. The Last Bag is the bag that goes with everything, but in order to do that, it needs to be a really beautiful bag, one that is both stunning and classic, subtle and statement, all at once. And it needs to be well-made, because the Last Bag needs to last, and it needs to withstand all that day-in-day-out toting and carrying.

The Last Bag isn't about trends; it isn't about having an It Bag. It is about choosing one beautiful, well-crafted piece that will work with everything and last beyond this season and the next. The Last Bag is one more way of creating your own look, a look that is uniquely yours. And that, to me, is worth the splurge.

Miss Model Behavior introduces us to The Vegan Queen and her eco-friendly luxe handbags. A little out of my price range, but if you are really committed to fashion and the environment, this may be worth the investment.

StyleDash likes Rebecca Minkoff's bags for summer; they're bright and fun but may not be the Last Bag. It depends on your style, really.

In a classic piece from March of 2007, Real Simple tells you when to splurge and when to save. You know, so you can strategize how to save up for the Last Bag and still look great while you're doing it.

Susan Wagner writes about style at Fashion Find and The Working Closet, and everythign else at Friday Playdate. She hopes you wil join her for the Fashion and Shopping Birds of a Feather session at BlogHer.

Flip flops! At least one of you is getting ready to argue with me about that, I can feel it. Let's talk about what exactly "flip flops" are and why they are not appropriate footwear for grown women who do not work as lifeguards, and what you can wear instead.

When I say that flip flops are for the pool or beach or home ONLY, I mean the rubbery ones, anything from the cheap pairs you can grab at places like WalMart and Target to the very sturdy and slightly pricier Havaianas option (although I will say that if you're going to buy some rubber flip flops for the pool or beach, it is worth it to invest in the Havaianas, which will last and last and last). My personal favorites are from J. Crew; they have a thick, sturdy sole and a wide ribbon strap, which I love. But these are not shoes for the office or dinner out or church; you need some real shoes for those outings.

Lest you accuse me of wanting to ruin summer by insisting that you put some shoes on already, let me say this: a thong sandal -- one that is MADE like a flip flop, with a strap that runs between the toes and very little else -- is a perfectly fine shoe, as long as it is not made of rubber. The patent thong sandals pictured above, from Ann Taylor Loft, are a terrific option for running errands or eating out or doing pretty much anything that is not going swimming; the combination of patent and thong styling makes them dressier than a rubber flip flop but equally easy and comfortable. They also have a slightly padded foodbed and a rigid sole, which makes them more shoe-like than a rubber flip flop, and they are available in ten cool shades, for $29.00.

If you want something a little more structured but still thong-like, you can opt for a thong sandal with a strap across the back, or one with an ankle strap. This summer, embellished sandals are everywhere, and they are more versatile than you might imagine. This pair, also from Ann Taylor Loft, combines a sleek, simple style (thong with ankle strap) with bright crystal bling for a shoe that will work equally well with your favorite walking shorts or with your little black dress. These sandals are available in five colors for $39.00 (but right now all ATLoft shoes are buy one, get one 50% off, which is really a deal).

Thong sandals are a great summer staple, because they go with everything -- shorts and capri pants and skirts and dresses. Opting for a sandal like these, one that is really a SHOE and not a flip flop, will dress up your casual clothes without losing that warm-weather feel we wait all winter for. But keep in mind that these are still fairly unsubstantial shoes; don't plan a whole day of walking in your thong sandals. That's Fit's Jacki Donaldson explains:

Flip-flops, unlike sneakers, cause shorter strides and require heels to hit the ground with less vertical force. This altered gait explains some lower leg and foot problems in people who often sport flip-flops, like college students.

If you're worried about pain in your own legs or feet, take this common-sense advice: Limit the use of flip-flops. Replace them every three to four months too, just like you'd do with athletic shoes.

I would also suggest that you alternate your cute thong sandals with shoes that are more supportive, to give legs and feet a rest.

Need more ideas for cute thong sandals? J at The Look 4 Less found Prada look-alikes for next to nothing, and The Cheap Chica found TWO pair of classic chain-link thong sandals, both for under $50.00 (one pair is from Target, even!).

Have a pressing style question? Email Susan at fridaystyle.susan@gmail.com, OR join her for the Fashion and Shopping Birds of a Feather session at BlogHer on Friday, July 18 at 12:45! But please, don't wear your flip flops.

To that I say, bah. Most of what you need for summer is probably right in your closet already.

Let's start with some guidelines: summer basics need to be easy, not trendy (need I remind anyone of the Leggings Fiasco of Winter 2008? I thought not). Look for pieces that are washable, either by hand or in the machine; this will save you the hassle and expense of dry cleaning, as well as helping the environment (and we're all more conscious about the environment in the summer, when we're OUTSIDE all the time). Look for pieces that can work together, and that will move freely from work to weekend. And look for colors and shapes that you love, because the idea is that you will wear them ALL THE TIME.

Seriously.

So what do you actually NEED? Not much, really! And you probably have it all in the closet already.

Light weight cardigan: Wear it to the office to ward off the AC chill; toss it over your swimsuit for post-pool drinks or dinner. Go with a bright, summery color and maybe even a little embellishment.

A-line skirt: The A-line flatters every figure; this is a skirt that is equally appropriate at the office and at a barbeque. Look for fun summery patterns (florals or retro 60s and 70s prints) in bright colors. Pair with the cardigan for cool nights or professional days.

Tank top: A basic tank is a summer staple; wear with a jacket -- or the cardigan! -- for work, or on its own for weekend. Choose a tank that will cover your bra, and for the love of all that is HOLY and FASHIONABLE, please WEAR a bra. ALL THE TIME. Thank you.

Tunic: An opaque tunic works well on its own, while a sheer tunic can be layered over the tank tops. Toss your over your swimsuit for the weekend, or over your skinny jeans for work. Or add a belt and call it a dress! Just make sure the length is appropriate, please.

Sunscreen: Wear it every where, every day.

What are your other options? Well ...

Jill at Ciao Bella! suggests stocking up on dresses for summer.

Bodacious is all about capris this summer.

DC Metro Mom Linda Kerr writes about shopping as a SAHM (you know, when you're wearing The Uniform).

Susan Wagner writes about style at Fashion Find and The Working Closet, and about everything else at Friday Playdate. She will be co-hosting a Birds of a Feather session at BlogHer this summer -- check the schedule and come show her your shoes!

They're really big this summer, but I'm really small - 5'3". I had
thought to ban them from my wardrobe, but I'm working at Ann Taylor and
that's a huge chunk of what they're showing... and I'm in steamy
Florida. So can capris work on a petite but otherwise slim
proportioned woman?

Ah, capri pants: the uniform of women everywhere who don't want to wear shorts any more but don't want to die of heat exhaustion during the spring and summer. Chances are, you own a pair (or three) and wear them often. So how do you know if you're wearing the right length and style?

No matter how tall you are or what length hemline you are considering, keep the basic rules in mind: look for a mid-rise, a flat front, and a leg that falls straight from the widest part of your hips. And then take a look at your legs. Yes, really! In order to choose the length that will work for you, be honest about the size and shape of your legs. Unless you are twelve, you probably have hips and thighs; cropped pants that taper, at any length, are not going to be your best look, as they will make your hips and thighs look wider. The slimmest part of your leg is most likely your ankle; chances are you also have pretty nice calves or great knees. Choose cropped pants that emphasize the best part of your legs.

Look for a hemline that hits near the slimmest part of your leg, to draw the eye to that part. Or think about it this way: avoid any hemline that cuts across the wider parts of your leg, as that will make that section look wider. No matter what length pants or shorts you choose, steer clear of cuffs; they will cut your legs off and make them look shorter, which isn't what we're going for.

So what exactly constitute "capri pants"? Let's get our terms (and hems) straight.

Shorts hit above the knee; the most flattering length falls somewhere between the knee and the slimmest part of your thigh. If you opt for a shorter length, be sure to check the hem when you are sitting to be sure you're not showing anything you might not want to show. Shorts are always casual wear, but a longer hemline is more polished and less picnic-y than the shorter option.

Pedal pushers hit just below the knee. This can be a tough length to wear if you have hips or thighs, as tapered pedal pushers lend themselves to the ice cream cone look (skinny on the bottom but wider through the middle) while wider pedal pushers will make it appear that your hips and thighs sit directly on your calves, making you look a wee bit like a popsicle. Pedal pushers are for casual wear, period.

Capri pants hit anywhere from mid-calf to the high ankle. Use caution when wearing capris that hit at the calf; even if you have slim legs -- or slim calves -- pants that cut across the widest part of your calves will make them look, well, wide. Look for a hemline that hits at the slimmest part of your calf for the slimmest possible leg line; opt for a straight or slightly wider leg to balance hips and thighs. Pair with sandals or flats with a low vamp, again for the longest possible leg line.

Cropped pants hit at the ankle bone. Always opt for a trouser that hits ABOVE the ankle bone; this way the hemline looks intentional, rather than looking like an unfortunate dryer incident. Cropped pants can be dressed up more easily than any other length, as long as they are not a very casual fabric (velvet, say, rather than cotton). Wear with flats or heels -- more on this tomorrow.

What length will work best for you? That depends on your shape. Look for the hemline that creates the longest, slimmest leg line; don't assume that your capris make your legs look slimmer just because they cover more leg than a pair of shorts. Sometimes shorter really is better, and sometimes, longer is.

Pants from Ann Taylor.

I'm not the only one with an opinion about capri pants:

LAStylistmom advises petite women to steer clear of capri pants altogether.

Women's Fashion Daily has some fun capri pants trivia for you.

Showing Style has found great maternity capris at JCPenney -- a nice alternative to shorts while you're gestating.

Susan Wagner writes about style at Fashion Find and The Working Closet, and about everything else at Friday Playdate. She loves her J. Crew city fit cafe capris (all three pair of them).

Not a chance. Navy pants are a terrific alternative to jeans, particularly for summer; they are crisp and chic and available in fabrics that won't cause you to die of heat exhaustion when the temperatures start to rise. And while navy is classic, it can also be a little edgy, depending on what you pair it with.

Despite all that, though, navy blue is always the neutral that stumps people the most, perhaps because it feels the least like a neutral and the most like a color itself, which brings up worries about what to pair with it. Navy pants also feel like more of a commitment than jeans because they are proper trousers and thus seem to require more effort than jeans.

Neither of those things is true, you know. Navy is a perfect neutral foil for all sorts of colors, and navy pants can be just as versatile as jeans. You just have to keep a few things in mind.

Kat has two basic dilemmas here: she needs to know what colors are good with navy, and what shoe to pair with her pants. Navy works with essentially everything; navy pants are great with a white shirt, of course, or with a blue shirt in a different shade (powder blue or violet blue). For a more dramatic contrast, Kat can think about bright pink or tangerine or a sage green. Her best bet is peices with a blue or orange undertone; think about the color wheel, where blue is opposite orange, and choose shades that either play off the navy or contrast it.

Really, though, the options are endless.

When Kat thinks about shoes, she wants to pay more attention to the structure of the pants, rather than the color of the shoe (at least for starters). Navy pants tend to be structured differently from jeans, because the fabric (linen, cotton, three-season wool) is lighter and more fluid than denim. This means that a pair of navy trousers, even in a traditional boot cut, will hang differently than a pair of jeans. Shoes that work well with the structure of your jeans may not work as well with navy pants. Consider the shape of the pants -- are the legs wide or skinny? cropped or full-length? Look for a shoe that balances the shape of the trousers, rather than a shoe that matches the color. A wide-leg trouser works well with a gladiator sandal, for example, while a cropped length is good with a ballet flat or thong sandal.

Trisha at Omiru has suggestions for spicing up a too-basic closet (including a pair of navy pants).

Eva at Papier.Blog has found the perfect summer sandal to wear with your navy pants.

Finally, because I am STILL obsessing over my makeup situation, a quiz: Is your makeup bag a mess?

Pants available at the Gap.

Susan Wagner writes about style at Fashion Find and The Working Closet, and about everything else at Friday Playdate. She is wearing navy blue cropped pants RIGHT NOW! With a white eyelet shirt and orange sandals, in case you care.