In my house, there isn’t much “pampering”. For the adults anyways. My son and daughter both get back massages every night before bed. We also do joint compression techniques with my son to help relax him. My daughter gets her hair brushed and played with daily.
]]>In my house, there isn’t much “pampering”. For the adults anyways. My son and daughter both get back massages every night before bed. We also do joint compression techniques with my son to help relax him. My daughter gets her hair brushed and played with daily.
My husband works nights, so on his rare nights off I can sometimes manage to beg him for back rub or coerce him into playing with my hair. Which goes a little something like this: “Honeyyyyy, I don’t mind if you play Knights of the Old Republic in our bedroom on the Xbox, as long as I lay next to you and you play with my hair with one hand.”
So today, when my children began to play with a bottle of lotion on the floor, I was quick to redirect their curiosity. —If you don’t have kids, then you can’t understand how a bottle of lotion can be so entertaining to little ones. They pump and squirt it out, play with it, rub it on their arms and legs, and my favorite - rub it all over my carpet. My daughter is even strange enough to lick and taste the lotion. I won’t even begin to tell you the horrors of children playing with a bottle of baby powder. You can imagine how fun that is to clean up.—
So GENIUS ME says, “Hey, if you guys want to play with the lotion, thats fine, but you’re going to do something useful with it, like rub it on my feet.” They were both totally thrilled and shouted “Okay, Mommy!” with huge smiles. The excitement was pretty intense. You would have thought I had just told them they could eat an entire bag of gummi worms, follow it with a box of cookies, run around naked and write on my walls with permanent marker.......
]]>Trivial things seem to bring on that feeling of guilt. I call it “The Mother’s Curse”
]]>Trivial things seem to bring on that feeling of guilt. I call it “The Mother’s Curse”
I am with my children ALL DAY, EVERYDAY. I give them my everything and my all. But at the same time, in order for me to stay happy and sane, I need to have some “Me Time.” Like time on the laptop, reading a book, watching tv, taking a walk alone, etc. Even with these simple things, I get that GUILT. The guilt that says “Isn’t there something that you should be doing for your kids? Your husband? The house? Hmmm, Erica???”
It is rare that I get a break from the kids. My husband works outside the home, and I am The Ruler Of The Household 24/7. A couple weeks ago, it was getting close to my birthday. My mother (I love her) took both of my kids for the day and kept them overnight too! She wasn’t even 30 seconds out of my driveway, and I was RIDDEN WITH GUILT. How dare I abandon my children?! How dare I get a break?! How dare I have time with my husband alone?!
I get over that feeling eventually… but not entirely. I do understand that I need the break, and deserve it after all. But I still can’t seem to ever shake the guilt.
“The Mother’s Curse” …. why didn’t they include THIS in the pregnancy/baby/parenting books??? Or did I just miss it. I’m pretty unobservant like that….
]]>Today I sent my 5 year old son off to his first day of Kindergarten.
He has been excited for months about starting school. In fact, when he finished Pre-K at the beginning of June, he was upset about having to stop school for Summer Break! He loves school and has a lot of good friends there.
]]>Today I sent my 5 year old son off to his first day of Kindergarten.
He has been excited for months about starting school. In fact, when he finished Pre-K at the beginning of June, he was upset about having to stop school for Summer Break! He loves school and has a lot of good friends there.
Yesterday we had a wonderful Labor day cook out at our house with several of our good friends and their children. Last night, my son took a shower and got ready for bed. We picked out his outfit for his first day. He was wiggling with excitement. Then he stopped for a moment and was thinking hard. He said, “Mommy, are you sad that I’m going to be in Kindergarten tomorrow?” My husband shot me a teasing look, as if to already poke fun of my emotional state of my son starting Kindergarten. It is a huge milestone in a child’s life! I told my son “I might be a little sad tomorrow for your first day, but it’ll be because you’re getting so big and smart and growing up so fast, and it makes me happy too.” He came over and hugged me so hard and said, “Mommy, I’ll always miss you when I’m in Kindergarten.” Thats all it took to send tears rolling down my face. I hugged him hard, and told him I love him. My husband giggled and said “Mommy is crying already!” I ensured my son that they were very happy tears.
So we tucked the boy into bed and he was more than willing to go to bed, because he was so excited for going to school in the morning. I said “Go to sleep good, Honey, because you’ll need your rest for Kindergarten tomorrow.” He said “Okay, Mommy, I will!” I said “I love you, my Kindergartener,” and kissed and hugged him. He smiled and said, “I love you too, Mommy.” As I walked out of his room, he said “Mommy.” I stopped in his doorway and turned back, “Yes, dear?” He said, “Always call me a Kindergartener!”
As soon as he laid down in his quiet and dark room and started to think, his excitement turned into nervousness. He got out of bed several times to ask me questions about his first day.
“Mommy, what if I’m not used to the teacher?”
“Mommy, will all of my friends from Pre-K be there?”
“What will we eat for lunch at school?”
“Mommy, what if I forget where the bathrooms are at school?”
“Mommy, what if all of the other kids have Pirates of the Caribbean folders and pencils just like mine?”
As you can clearly see, my son is a child that likes to know whats going to happen and what to expect out of a situation. I answered his questions as best I could and was completely honest with him. It might take him time to get used to his new teacher, not all of his friends from Pre-K will be there, they’ll show him where the bathrooms are, and nobody loves Pirates as much as he does although they might have some Pirates of the Caribbean school supplies as well.
After each question, I sent him back to bed. But he was still nervous. His feelings took me back to my own feelings of the night before the first day of school growing up. The excitement of new school supplies, in your favorite color or with your favorite characters. New clothes, a new grade, a new teacher and possibly new friends in class. Lying in bed with everything running through your mind.
I went into his room and laid down in his bed with him to rub his back and ensure him that everything would be okay. He’s an emotional child as it is, and the excitement and nervousness was escalating. He shortly broke down into tears. He was trying to talk through the tears and explain why he was so upset. Finally I deciphered his words between his short choppy sobs. He said “It was a good picture! My white shoes and my striped shirt.” I said, “Honey, are you talking about the picture that we took of you on your first day of Pre-K of last year?” He said “YES!” and sobbed some more. I asked why he was upset about that good picture we have of him from last year. He said “Because it was a good picture, and those were good days, and they’re over now and I can’t do them again.”
It took everything in my power not to lay there and bawl right along with my son. But I was able to hold back. I told him, “Yes they were good days and you have good memories of those days. But now, you can make new memories and have new days of Kindergarten, and of course Mommy will take new pictures.”
I laid with my son and he eventually drifted off to sleep. I’m sure he dreamed of the smell of new crayons, running with friends at recess, white Elmers glue, and running home to tell his Mom about the awesome first day. Or at least, thats why I dreamed of last night.
After my son was sleeping, I sat in my living room and labeled all of his school supplies with tears rolling down my face. Tears of joy, tears of sadness.
This morning, every ounce of nervousness and anxiety had left my son. I woke him up and he instantly smiled at me and said, “Its time for Kindergarten!”
My son’s night before school reminded me that everyone has trouble letting go of the past, good or bad, and moving on to bigger, better and newer things. But we do it because, thats life and thats growing up. And THATS why I take so many damn pictures! To document and remember the past. Because as my son so plainly said “those were good days, and they’re over now and I can’t do them again.”
]]>I commit my entire life and being to my children. They suck the life out of me.
]]>I commit my entire life and being to my children. They suck the life out of me.
But on a day like today, my children have made me so proud - that all of the mistakes, all of the exhaustion, all the tears, all of the money, all of the energy…. ITS JUST SOOOOOOOOO WORTH IT.
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Our friends have a special needs child, Randall, a 3.5 (almost 4) year old boy. He was injured at his in-home day care back in June, received a traumatic brain injury resulting in 3 brain surgeries and half of his brain being damaged. He is in the process of relearning the basics of life, eating, talking, standing and everything else. Right now - he can’t walk, but can sit and scoot on the floor and is learning to stand, makes noises but can’t speak words, and has many other special needs. His smile and laugh light up the room, and he has the sweetest little playful personality.
Randall has always been very good friends with my son. I did not tell my son when Randall was in the hospital (June through July), because I knew that would be too hard for him to understand and deal with, how his friend was lying in a hospital bed, basically in a coma (drug induced for brain injury recovery).
I chose to wait until Randall came home from the hospital (the end of July), to explain what had happened to him, so that we could visit him and I could tell my son what to expect. I told him that Randall had got his brain hurt and was sick in the hospital for a while, and that he is a bit different now, and how he has to re-learn how to do things, because of how the brain stores all of that important information.
I was amazed at my son’s reception to the subject and his grasp of understanding. After I explained everything to him, as best as I could…. he said “But he’s still Randall, and we love him, and we’re glad he’s okay.” I responded with a big hug and said “Thats right, Honey. You couldn’t be more right”
Over the past month and a half, since Randall came home from the hospital, we have been spending alot of time with our friends and their son. They also have a new baby boy who was born just 3 weeks ago! (Yes, thats right, the Mommy was pregnant during ALL of this).
Randall loves to have kids around him to watch and play with. More than anything he wants to be with kids and be included in what they do. My kids’ love and acceptance of Randall has touched my heart. I am so blissfully happy that they have developed such understanding and compassion for others.
My son’s love and understanding for Randall goes beyond what I would ever expect any person to have. He has the biggest heart, and it makes me so proud. He has lots of questions about Randall, and I am always very honest with him and explain everything on his level, to the best of my ability. He is always very perceptive to everything we talk about.
My son plays with Randall and includes him in all of his play and everything he does. He always makes sure Randall has a toy to go with whatever they are doing, he talks to him and sits with him. He’s aware of his needs and will tell me when he thinks Randall needs or wants something, and he’s usually right on. My son can always make Randall smile, and has the ability to get him laughing so hard that he is literally gasping for air. This makes me laugh so hard that I cry.
Tonight, the Mommy brought Randall and the new baby over to spend some time with me and my kids, while she had some things to do, and the Daddy was busy too. As soon as Randall got here, my son got very excited and went into full fledged hyper-silly boy mode. He was jumping around and rolling around on the floor by Randall, being goofy and making him laugh.
My son started to get a little loud, and I asked him to tone it down a bit. He said, “Mommy, I just can’t help it, I’m just a silly boy!” Of course I couldn’t argue with that. Then he said, “Mommy, I think that God made me silly, so that I could make Randall happy.”
Needless to say, my son sent me into tears of joy. I said, “Honey, I think that you are right. And you are such a smart and special boy to come up with that idea. You are such a good friend to Randall.”
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