I'm not slamming nannies because I know most of them are wonderful,
hard-working women who love the children they care for. I just want to
know what the hell is going on. We need to hold nannies to a higher
moral code. These women are affecting the psychological health of the
children they care for and I, for one, am really sick of it! Therapist
and other "care-givers" have a code of ethics that prohibits them from
harming the people they care for through negligent behavior or sexual
conduct. If they do, they can be "disbarred" from ever practicing
again. I think nannies should be held to the same code of ethics.

The Rob Lowe/nanny scandal is just the latest in a string of
nanny-daddy trysts. Just to name a few...Dr. Phil is "counseling" a fireman who had an affair with his teenage nanny, Ethan Hawke had an affair with his nanny who is now pregnant with his baby, Jude Law had an affair with his nanny and then blamed his wife for it, and Robin Williams divorced his wife to wed his nanny.

I am at the same time disgusted and confused when I hear of a nanny
having an affair or being sexually harassed by her employer and continuing to work there.
I believe it's possible that Ms. Gibson was a victim at one time during
her employment (if her claims are true) and was taken advantage of by a
husband and father who couldn't control the tingling in his nether
regions. And I feel sorry for the wife who is, at least temporarily,
impervious to the seductions occurring not only under her nose but under her childrens'
noses. But I don't understand a nanny who continues working for a
family when she was having sex with and/or being mauled by the father
of the children she was charged with caring for. As a wife and mother,
if my husband were harassing our nanny, I would expect my nanny to
report it to me and then to resign immediately.

Here's the thing. Women are sexually harassed every day at their
jobs. Just because there are laws against it doesn't mean it stops
happening. And I feel sorry for them and only thank God/Goddess that it
has never happened to me. But the difference is that the sexual abuse
(and/or affair) is occurring in the workplace--it is not happening at
home with their children living under the same roof! A nanny's job is in the home where the children she has agreed to care for and nurture are living!
She has an obligation first and foremost to the welfare of those
children, just as the father does. And I don't buy the claim that "it
wasn't happening in front of the children."

All parents (and, presumably, nannies) know that children see and
hear much more than we give them credit for. Parents who say "We don't
argue until after the children are in bed. We're not doing it in front
of them." are kidding themselves. When it comes to what's going on with
their parents children are sensitively tuned into what is happening. In
fact, they understand more of what's happening in a family than the
parents often do. That is why a family therapist will often ask the
children what is happening in the home. And many parents are shocked by
how much their children are aware of.

You think the children whose beloved nanny is bonking their father
aren't aware of what's going on? How betrayed must they feel, by both
their father and their nanny? And how confused must they be
to be witnesses to the lascivious triangle being created between the 3
most important people of their lives: daddy, mommy, and Nanny "Beth? " I can only imagine.

And, as far as your claim, Ms. Gibson, that he "sexually abused"
you, there's just one problem...you kept going back! Oh, right. It was
"for the sake of the children." But weren't you actually harming them
by staying and continuing to participate, willingly or not, in the
destruction of their family? Shame on you!

SIDENOTE: Ms. Allred, I love the fact that you come to the
defense of women in sexual harassment and other suits. But, could you
please stop treating these women like babies? On the Today Show
yesterday, you sat next to Ms. Gibson with your hand on hers. I know
your intention was to be supportive but, really, you made her look like
a fragile child. This, in my opinion, is the wrong impression to
project of women, that they are fragile and helpless. I understand it's
difficult to be on national television talking about a difficult issue
and I wouldn't want to be in her shoes. But, although I would love to
have you on my defense team, as a grown woman I would not want you
holding my hand in such a maternal fashion as though I were a child.
Women really can handle tough situations without being coddled like
children. Just something to think about. (Of course, Ms. Gibson might
have asked you to put your hand on hers, in which case this sidenote is
mute. :)

Cross posted on Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

Cheryl Wenzel also writes at:
Becoming a Mother
50-something Moms Blog
Betty Confidential
Type-A Mom
Gemini Crickets Twin Moms Blog