Gingerken's blog

What a Gift We Gave Our Children & Grandchildren on November 4, 2008!

2008-11-06T22:03:03-06:00

Almost 48 hours ago Barack Hussein Obama was declared our new President. I wrote a brief paragraph last night. I had to say something then, but it wasn’t enough, and I knew that. I suppose that there are those who are unhappy about the country’s choice last night, but so many are thrilled and filled with hope for a better tomorrow. I want to share just one of the reasons why I think what we did is so very important; why all of us, regardless of who we voted for, made history last night. I was born in Chicago. My grandparents lived then, and for all my childhood years, at 101st and South Wood, in south side Chicago. My grandfather, my Popper, had emigrated from Ireland as a young man, and had begun a career as a florist. The Depression put an end to his dream of his own business, and instead, he became a Chicago mounted policeman. He and my grandmother raised their six children in Beverly, and my mom was the only one who ever left the Chicago area. My father’s family was from Joliet, IL, and they also have largely remained in Joliet. He was the only one of his siblings to leave IL. My parents moved with me to Golden, CO first, and we lived in Boulder through my grade school years. Boulder was far less PC then; CU was primarily known as a party school. There was not an extreme amount of racial diversity in town during my grade school years, it was primarily on the campus. Race was just not a subject that was ever given any emphasis. I don’t remember ever hearing a derogatory racial term used by any of my relatives or any of the other adults in my life. When I was in fourth grade my parents decided I would be allowed to babysit within the immediate neighborhood. When a couple with a new baby moved in across the street, they asked if I could watch their baby occasionally, and my parents said yes. I do remember being fascinated by this couple, an African American, who was a new assistant professor at the University of Colorado, and his gorgeous blonde wife. What my parents considered most interesting about them was the fact that he was teaching at CU. If the biracial status of their marriage was an issue, I was never allowed to hear that; and I truly doubt it mattered that much to them. I graduated from grade school in 1961, and because my grades were so good, my graduation present was a month in Chicago with my grandparents, my first trip away without my parents and five siblings. It was a very special time, marred by only one thing. My grandmother and I went back to Chicago on the Denver Zephyr. For those too young to remember, that was the train that always traveled between Denver and Chicago. I remember getting up to use the restroom a few hours into the journey, and my grandmother, who was one of the sweetest, kindest women I have ever known, stopped me. You see, there were some Arican American children traveling in the same car, and she told me that I couldn’t use the same restroom that they were using. I remember being confused and then angry, as that made absolutely no sense to me; and did eventually use that same restroom anyway. I don’t remember her saying anything else about the incident on the remainder of the trip, and I had the time of my life on that month long vacation. That incident was never mentioned in my presence again. Many years later, I visited her, the first time in a couple of years. She had had a stroke in her mid sixties, and my grandfather had a heart attack and died shortly after her stroke, while he was caring for her. She had moved in with my aunt, who lives in a condo just off Michigan Avenue in downtown Chicago. She had also lost most her vision in the years after her stoke, and required some daytime practical nursing assistance while my aunt was at work. During that visit one of the first things she said “Ginger I want you to know that you were right, I was wrong, and I am sorry.” I didn’t have the foggiest idea what she meant. She went on to explain that she had never forgotten that little rebellion of mine on our journey together so many years earlier. One of the LPNs that had been hired to assist her was an African American, and they had become great friends over the months that she had helped her. She wanted me to know that the friendship had totally changed her outlook, and skin color no longer held any potentially negative connotation for her. Students of history would have some thoughts about why there might have been and still is, fear and antipathy among some groups of people. We don’t yet live in a world with a level playing field, and it is not unusual for those being oppressed to want to do the same to another group they consider to have less status. Someday I hope that all of that will be an ancient chapter in the history of the human race. In the meantime, I was blown away, and humbled that at such an advanced age, my grandmother was able to change her mind about something that had been so significant for her at a younger age. She clearly had a flexible mind, an attribute that she passed on to her children and that my parents, especially my mother, passed on to me. She is one of the first people I thought of when our new President was announced last evening. I also thought of, and silently thanked, my mother and father, who raised their children without introducing prejudice into our family. For me, last night meant that there can come a day when color of skin, religion, nationality may mean nothing more to any us, than the vibrance of diversity all that brings to our world. I only hope I live to see that day.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month - Too Close For Comfort

2008-10-15T15:27:43-05:00

Everywhere I go there are reminders that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. My local grocery store has pink recyclable bags for 99 cents. They are donating half the proceeds to breast cancer research. The floral department is loaded with pink bouquets; pink tulips, pink roses, pink azalea bushes; an odd contrast to the customary autumnal shades and the blacks and oranges of Halloween coming up in two short weeks. In the bakery, I can buy cupcakes or cakes, festooned with pink frosting ribbons. Wherever I look throught the store, there are merchandising reminders of the importance of this month. I wear a black scarf covered with pink ribbons when I even slightly dress up to go anywhere, to remind myelf and everyone else that breast cancer still has not been medically defeated.

I don’t really need a reminder, particularly this year. My youngest sister is a breast cancer survivor, first diagnosed and treated in 1997. Her surgery that year was successful, though her recovery was slow and painful. When she reached the five year mark we all breathed a sigh of relief and said prayers of thanks, after having said so many other prayers over those years. There have been a couple of scares along the way, and each time she has bounced back. Ever heard of breast cancer cells in thyroid tissue? She has now, because she was one of the few that have been diagnosed with it. Luckily they have been able to treat it with chemotherapy, and her numbers had been steadily improving.

As faithful as she has been about her examinations and her diet, one thing did escape everyone’s awareness. Perhaps it happened because she had changed oncologists along the way; whatever the reason, it happened. She has had PET scans all along the way and had assumed that any cancer cells would have been picked up either by the scans or the bloodwork she also has on a regular basis. So she hasn’t had a mammogram for a number of years. That came up in a recent conversation with her new oncologist. She was informed that she still needed to have regular mammograms, and should have one immediately.

The angels must have been watching over her, because that mammogram did show a small lump in her unaffected breast. So last Friday, once again she was in the hospital for surgery. She was in and out very quickly, and is home recovering now. The sentinel node was negative, and they believe that they got it all and early. As always she is very optimistic, and handling everything with grace.

I am so grateful that the outlook is so good for her; it wasn’t all that many years ago that the outcome might have been very different. I want and need to keep her around for a long time to come; and there are so many that feel the same way about her, most especially her family.

I hope the time will come in my lifetime that there will be a cure for this and many other cancers. In the meantime, I will remind friends to get regular mammograms and do self-examinations. When October comes around next year, and the year after, and the year after, I will wear pink ribbons, buy pink bags, donate to breast cancer research, and say prayers of thanks for my sister and all the other courageous women I know who are breast cancer survivors. I will also remember those friends I have lost…there is no cure yet.

Regaining Balance

2008-10-02T02:04:32-05:00

After a week like the country has just gone through, I would speculate that many of us are struggling with a similar issue; regaining balance in our lives. We have so little control over the events in the markets, or with major natural disasters. What can we do to get back some sense of control, regain our emotional footing?

That has been the most unsettling thing in my life this week. For someone else it might be a family crisis, a health issue, a job loss, a death; the list is really endless. I don’t know what any of you do, can only tell you what has worked for me. I am always open to new ideas too, so please share.

First, I have done a lot of deep breathing this week, so much that I am probably fortunate that I haven’t hyperventilated along the way. I have had to unplug from the news, slow my self down, and as an immediate calming action, have just closed my eyes and taken three slow, deep breaths. We tend to forget to breath when we are stressed and it always amazes me that such a simple action can make such a difference; at least it has always worked for me.

Second, as hard as it can be as an inveterate news junkie, I have to give myself a long break from television. I realized last night that I had been glued to MSNBC for hours on end, with occasional breaks for CNN or C-SPAN. The news will still be there later; I don’t really have to know everything as it is happening.

What else do I do with myself? When I really want to give my mind a rest, one of the first things I do is turn to my cat and my dogs. They are so present to life, always living in the moment; not thinking about the past or future, just focused on what is right now. They eat, sleep, play, vie for my attention, and I think I can learn a lot from them…when I remember to focus more on them. They are each such interesting individuals too, and have very different personalities.

In Backyard Hunting Mode

I also do whatever I feel will bring me the most comfort in the moment. That might be a hot bath, a fire in the fireplace, curling up with a great book; my pets nearby. I love music, and will often listen when I am reading or working. In that case, I rely on nstrumentals, and most often classical music.

There is also the comfort food avenue. Somehow over the years, though I am no stringbean, I have been able to gain fairly good control of a tendency to overeat when I am stressed. There are things I know will always make me feel better in moderation, though. Top of the list is probably the Trader Joe’s Semisweet Chocolate with Almonds one pound bar. That came to mind first because my local TJ’s was actually out when I shopped yesterday, yikes! Normally that wouldn’t matter but I am about to sequester myself for several weeks and with what is happening it would be nice to have one on hand.

Other favorites, in no particular order; mashed potatoes and really good ripe sliced tomatoes, or fried chicken and coleslaw, baked beans and cornbread, or a great steak and salad with blue cheese dressing. Whatever it is, it needs to be simple; I am just not into cooking for myself, and don’t find that relaxing at all.

Enough for a first post. It is time to go play with dogs now. Wishing anyone who might find this post, a peaceful and relaxing weekend. Hopefully whatever stressor might be going on in your life now can be put on hold, at least long enough to allow you to regroup