deborah822's blog

Immigrant Families and the Economic Crisis

2008-10-22T13:14:39-05:00

I thought I would be remiss if I didn’t discuss this topic (and my husband suggested it ), but I think there is an interesting dynamic that may be occurring for immigrant families during the US economic crisis.

For instance, many immigrants provide financial support to family in their countries of origin. As I heard one journalist put it, “when the United States sneezes, other countries develop pneumonia”, so if we’re feeling a squeeze here it’s only worse in other countries. This can create an added pressure for immigrant families who may be finding it more difficult to maintain the same level of support and make ends meet at home.

I also think that during this perfect storm, we are forced to look at some of our comforts and some of the expectations we have by virtue of living in this country (i.e. acquiring large amounts of debt). We may also see the fragile state of developing countries and how they have more at stake right now than we realize.

So my first question is: How are you handling the crisis as it relates to your family here and abroad? Another question is for parents who may not have families who need their financial assistance in their countries of origin. Are you using this economic situation to teach your children about poverty and/or financial responsibility? If so, how? If not, do you think that it’s inappropriate to discuss these things with children?

How do you choose a mate?

2008-10-22T13:12:58-05:00

I was catching up with a friend the other day and we got to talking about the dynamics of a relationship between two immigrants with the same cultural background where one was raised in the US and the other in the country of origin (like my husband and I). My friend was saying how the differences between their life experiences can be great enough to make them incompatible.

It really got me thinking - since I like to think that my husband and I are compatible - but this is good point that I don’t think we think about when looking for our “mates”. I think that sometimes we are so caught up in picking someone that is culturally the same that we don’t take into consideration the person’s unique upbringing. I have also seen the exact opposite happen where for whatever reason, the person has an aversion to people who are culturally similar and veer as far away from the as possible when dating. I guess the middle ground would be a person who turns a blind eye cultural background all together and simply focuses on the person as a whole.

Either way, we are drawn to people for certain reasons that sometimes don’t pan out to be in our best interest. Does cultural background play a role in your choice(s) of significant others? If yes, have you found it to be helpful or hurtful to the success of your relationship? If not, do you make an effort to educate your partner on your cultural heritage or find it easier to simply share American cultural norms?

N.B. Please check out the survey on the Polls page that has a question about this topic and children.

Multilingualism

2008-09-06T17:28:07-05:00

The discussion about multilingualism may come and go in the mainstream media, but it is a continuous hot topic among immigrants. We decided to place our daughter in a French immersion program since preschool. We have questioned our decision at times, but not as it relates to benefits to her overall development. There is this underlying debate within the Haitian community about whether or not parents should teach their children to speak Haitian Creole. French is often seen as a language of the elite and if that is the language you choose, than the assumption is that you are denying your true heritage. Luckily, our daughter is very smart (not that I am biased here ) and can move between English, French and Haitian Creole with ease. As we prepare to make the decision for our son, I would like to have an open mind about all the options available, as well.

How do you decide whether to ensure that your child is bilingual or not? Moreover, how do you choose the languages you would like them to speak fluently?

Is being bilingual an important skill for your children to posess? If so, do you pick a commonly spoken language that will give them a competitive edge later in life? Or, do you choose the language of your family, regardless of its prevalence, to allow your child(ren) the ability to communicate with family members in their mother tongue?

Discipline

2008-09-05T09:57:36-05:00

The question of how to discipline our children is one for which I don’t think that there is a right or one size fits all answer. This issue can become more compounded when you are taking into account the way that you were disciplined as a child, as well as your partner. This question is even more complex by having parents from different cultural backgrounds.

What’s funny is that even though my husband and I are culturally the same, the way that we were disciplined, and hence the way that we think our children should be disciplined varies more than expected. For instance, I think that putting a child in timeout one minute for each year they are alive (i.e. Five years-old = five minutes) is an effective form of discipline. In the Haitian culture, timeouts did not have specific time limits and are sometimes spent kneeling down, facing the wall. Our compromise is that timeouts are limited in duration and spent standing, facing the wall.

What are some of the methods of discipline you use with your children and are they a direct result of your culture? Have you modified any traditional methods to render them more effective? What was the basis for changing the method (child temperament, compromise with other parent, pressure to conform to American methods, etc.)? Or, have you decided to throw all forms of discipline out the window (please also share how you handle rule enforcement)?