HeatherB's blog

A winter makeup beauty hack (Or: cream blush will rid you of your winter doldrums)

2009-11-04T20:12:13-06:00

So here is what I look like when I wake up in the morning:

Except not really because this photo was taken at 6 PM and I had just returned from a really long trip and I'm sure you can sense my exhaustion. Anyway, me without makeup. You are so welcome, Internet.

And here I am fully made up:

When I was taking these photos I made sure to time it - of course I forgot to take a photo of the time - but still it takes about 10 minutes. In fact no matter the season or where I happen to be going it always takes about 10 minutes for me to do my entire face. There is never much variance except and I keep my lip glosses/stains/sticks/balms close by and can choose a color based on my whimsy. Though the best days are when I have to just go with whatever is already in my handbag and I am surprised by what's in there. One day it's a very neutral gloss and the next it's a dark Nars lip lacquer. It thrills me to no end. I am such a girl.

Anyway this is about winter makeup and how I do my winter makeup which isn't that different from how I do my summer makeup except that there is more moisturizing to protect my skin from the harsh, dry, winter weather and then cream blush instead of a powder. The cream gives more moisture as opposed to the powdered, iridescent blush for which sunlight to reflect off my face. It's because there is no sun in upstate NY winters. There is just a lot of cold and gray and so I need an extra oomph of color so that I don't look so...depressed.

Here goes:

1) On my face in that first picture I am wearing Purpose moisturizer with SPF 15, Smashbox Photo Finish Light foundation primer (amazing stuff), and Neutrogena lip balm with SPF 15. You can see in the photo that my skin is pretty uneven in color and so that's my primary reason for wearing makeup; to even things out. My philosophy is to be as nude as possible, smooth everything out and you'll look fantastic.

2) Next is the tinted moisturizer and foundation. Just a tiny squeeze of each. See? Even.

3) I've recently started using mineral foundation which is nice and light and has SPF 15 in it. I mix two colors and do a dusting. It just makes things that much more even and it takes like 30 seconds. I would never wear this in the summer because I only wear the tinted moisturizer/foundation combo. But it's a nice winter change up.

4) This Tarte blush in 'blushing bride' is my new favorite thing. I got it as swag at a party and I thought it would be a ridiculously bright shade and a horrible cream blush. I barely knew what to do. Polar opposite. It does wonders. Smile at yourself in the mirror (because you are gorgeous) and then dab it on the apples of your cheeks and then smooth it out with your fingers. The warmth of your fingers helps to spread it out a bit. You don't need much. And look! I'm glowing!

5) Then it's the eyes. Because I had planned to be doing my makeup at this time I decided to play up my eyes instead of my lips. I never go heavy on both. One or the other. And trust me, it's none too dramatic. I first put on eye shadow primer (depending on what is going on for the day) and then I put on the same eyeliner I have been using since age 16. Then a swoop of eye shadow with a brush (this day it was MAC eye shadow in Sketch). Then mascara.

6) I threw on some $1.00 e.l.f. lip gloss and voila! Pretty.

I've been doing my makeup like this since September-ish and everyday someone says to me, "wow, your skin! It looks great!" It's the primer - it keeps things in place and the mineral foundation evens things out and the blush makes me look thrilled to be awake even though I am not.

I think you all should share your makeup routines as well. Between you and me: I LOVE watching people do their makeup. So please tell me all about yours.

BlogHer CE, HeatherB also blogs here. She really loves lip gloss.

Proactiv: A story of love and loathing

2009-10-19T19:25:40-05:00

sssssssssssss

I cannot believe I'm about to admit this. In fact the second I say this my face is going to erupt in painful cystic acne once again and my dermatologist will be injecting Benzoyl peroxide directly into my pores. So here goes: I like Proactiv. No, I...I love Proactiv. And that noise you just heard was my brand new linens screaming in horror due to imminent bleaching.

The main ingredient in the standard Proactiv kit is Benzoyl peroxide which is an antibacterial ingredient found in many acne medications. It works as a peeling agent thus increasing skin turnover and clears out the ol' pores. It also moonlights as a bleaching agent. So sometimes it's used for good and other times it's used to turn your favorite black t-shirt a lovely reddish color.

And that is the first and foremost reason for disliking anything with Benzoyl peroxide*. I end up going through these phases with it; I know it works so I use it and then I look at what color my towels have become and I stop. Proactiv had other annoyances like the commercials and that I bought a set online and it automatically enrolled me in a kit per month thing that included a bonus $50 charge. And then there's the terrible customer service when you cancel because they cannot believe that someone would have the audacity to stop using something that Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs uses. Then there might be some annoyed sighing on their end.

But it works.

About a month ago I stopped using it for some reason - probably due to the eye rolling that I could feel through the phone - and tried some holistic, organic approach. An approach that caused my entire face to breakout in painful acne three days before I was to speak at a conference. I found an unopened set of Proactiv in my house and then did my own eyerolling and swearing under my breath while I used it and then carefully washed my hands and slept on sheets that had already done their time against the evils of bleach. Five days later the peeling and pain associated with terrible acne was gone. My face felt better and those stupid 'soothing botanicals' worked.

Who knew that attitude and a hatred of being a beauty product sales person were the secondary ingredients in getting healthy skin?! So I use it. I'm not happy about it because these are brand new gorgeous sheets and so at night I use a Salicylic acid lotion/wrinkle defense lotion. Because a) no bleaching and b) I like looking like I'm 14. And so far so good.

Of course all of this praise Proactiv, nonsense doesn't mean that I can resist the siren call of the Philosophy - my that's expensive and doesn't do anything but it's in front of my face - at Sephora. It also doesn't keep me from asking what skin care products others have found to loathe and love. So here I am, just a girl standing in front of the Internet asking it to tell me how it has such a lovely complexion.

*I implore you to remember to add some sort of sunscreen (SPF 15 or higher) after moisturizing with a Benzoyl peroxide product as it increases skin sensitivity to sun rays. I know I sound like a commercial but every morning I do my normal face washing/toning/moisturizing and then use Bobbi Brown bronzing moisturizer with SPF 15 along with MAC studio foundation with SPF 15. That'll make SPF 30, right?

Heather B. also writes at No Pasa Nada. Underneath all of that makeup she has terrible skin. She's learned to hide it well.

My Favorite Fall Fashion Trend: The Vintage Inspired Piece

2009-10-06T22:39:06-05:00

Every season I do what many women do which is to pry open a 200 page magazine and see what is going on in the world of fashion. So what if it is stuff that you wouldn't be caught dead in? So what if you think the idea of platforms and all 80's all the time is nauseating, it's still fun to look.

The thing is that this fall the trends seem to big and bold; things that make a statement are 'In'. No one wants to see subtly if there's ruffles then those ruffles better be Pilgrim-esque and up to your chin. If there is color it needs to be stand out color. Not blacks or browns with a little oomph thrown in for good measure but something that says, "Hello! I am here! Look at me!" I must say that I'm a little bit in love with fall. My love also might be because I own things that are in and I rarely own things that are in. I'm more of a classics girl; there is a lot of cashmere and turtlenecks and then I go out and pick up the pieces that will make me look like I know what I'm doing even if I'm only playing a Fashionista on the Internet.

So back to the beginning when I was reading InStyle (at least I think it was InStyle so let's just say that it was some very large magazine that was instructing me how to dress for the fall and I was all OBEY!) and one of the trends for the fall that goes into the 'big and bold' category are vintage-esque accessories. Larger gold pieces that stand out against a solid background. And when I saw this there was a jump for joy because dear reader, I owned something vintage-esque.

I purchased this toggle, pearl, gold necklace last year after an unfortunate mishap where I lost a strand of Mikimoto pearls. I don't want to talk about it because it is far too painful but I did end up going out and buying something - anything - that would help me overcome this tragedy because, ya'll, I LOVE my pearls. I found this at Elissa Halloran Designs in Albany, NY. I'm still shocked that they were found in my hometown because as far as I knew, Albany never had anything cool. But there they were waiting for me. Saying, come hither Heather. I wear them with turtlenecks when I don't want to wear regular pearls. They're fun and add something extra to the outfit. Even special occasions that might call for something that cost more than twenty bucks. I get loads of compliments and they are the epitome of accessories: anything that adds something but doesn't take away from the rest of the outfit.

They're like friends; they emphasize the good part and keep attention away from the bad.

Let's talk "Good Hair"

2009-09-25T22:22:06-05:00

Hair is one of my favorite topics of discussion. I've been in conversations where women get riled up like we're discussing Jesus Christ or John Boehner's views on health care. Understandable since hair is a woman's 'crowning glory' so we indeed take it seriously with the appointments and the coloring and the frustrated sighs in the mirror when looking at what we have to deal with come morning. Let's just say that at 6:30 AM I'm about ready to shave off my 'crowning glory' and start over again.

For black women hair isn't just hair it's our HAIR. We are passionate about hair and we vacillate between offense and defense when it comes to personal choices about our hair and whether or not we should discuss it. Since growing what is now shoulder length natural hair, I'm more than willing to dish about hair products. At the same time I've been known to take offense to and become irate over how magazines and popular culture portray black hair.

Quick story: Over the summer one fashion magazine showed a photo of Beyonce and under the photo the caption read that women should embrace their natural curls like Beyonce. Eye rolling ensued because black women can tell real from fake and Beyonce wasn't embracing her curls so much as she was embracing a good weave. Some women were offended; why not show a woman with natural hair who truly embraced her curls? Why is it that being 'natural' and seeing what our hair really looks like is some sort of faux pas? There was eye rolling, teeth gnashing and shaking of heads.

Chris Rock has made black women and our hair the center of his documentary Good Hair. I have been DYYYYYYING to see this movie since Karen sent me a link to the trailer and asked when we would be seeing it. Even at first glimpse there was laughing and shouts of YES! at the sight of Raven Symone pulling her weave, celebrities being honest and the addiction to relaxer. Chris Rock shows how deeply black women feel about our hair and how society and vanity have turned hair into HAIR.

It's a tricky topic that Rock is broaching here. He shows the lengths that black women go to for hair that is 'socially acceptable'. There are weaves that are thousands of dollars and the relaxer chemical process that leaves women with perfectly straight hair because otherwise they don't feel pretty. These little girls getting relaxers reminded me of my youth and wanting to be just as pretty as the girls I went to school with. I wanted hair that was shiny and I could shake all over the place. There is a scene where Rock is sitting with a group of high school girls, some with straight hair and one with a natural 'fro, and the girls say that the girl with the 'fro wouldn't be accepted in a professional environment because of her natural hair. It's almost like natural isn't all that natural because society might not like it.

(Meanwhile I'm sitting in the theater wanting to shout out that I have always been and remain (knocking on wood right now) gainfully employed and that members of congress actually compliment my hair. So there!)

I've heard some say that the movie didn't go far enough but others praise Chris Rock for even putting black women and their hair out there. I thought it was fantastic and it's 90 minutes of film that offers insight into the life of a black women and all that our hair means to us. Some think that we're too sensitive about hair and this movie gives a glimpse of the root of our sensitivity.

Thanks to The Root (and Donna Byrd who was sitting right in front of me and remembered me from my panel at BlogHer) (ZOMFG!!) for the tickets.

Heather B. also writes at No Pasa Nada. Yes, that is her hair. No, you probably shouldn't touch it.

The Boob Jab (And more about my breasts than you ever wanted to know)

2009-09-11T13:21:56-05:00

Quick! What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "jab"? For me it's something uncomfortable. A euphemism for how I feel when something isn't going my way. "I'd like to jab this spork into my eye!" I'd say with all the hyperbole I can muster and an eye roll. I don't see "jab" as something that I'd want done to me even in the best of circumstances. It doesn't scream pleasant. It's quick and to the point.

So of course the last thing I would ever want done to myself is to have something jabbed into my boob. Because I am among friends I feel comfortable in announcing that I have thought of breast augmentation before. In the heat of the moment while drinking with friends I cup my own breasts giving them a little more lift and oomph so that they were skyward as opposed to low hangers. It's genetic, you see; I just don't have great boobs.

Friends of mine will protest and say that I have a great rack. And I have paid a lot of money for this rack of mine via numerous bra fittings and letting some strange woman in the Nordstrom fitting room stare at my breasts. I'm vexed when I hear about these new ways to improve yourself that are "less invasive." Anytime someone suggest jabbing something into my breast to keep me from having a 'real' boob job doesn't make me feel all that at ease with the process.

The "boob jab" inserts -- albeit quickly -- the gel form of Macrolane into the breast tissue. It gives instant lift and can provide an increase of at least a full cup size. It's a no muss, no fuss procedure that lasts up to 90 minutes. Results are immediate and voila! You've gone from a B cup to a C cup during your lunch hour, and for only $4,000 a pop! Sounds grand, doesn't it?

Too bad it's not permanent: the boob jab only lasts about a year. Then you're right back where you were before, but $4,000 poorer. Even better!

Excuse my sarcasm, but it's hard not to do eye roll after eye roll when I hear of things like this. And in no way am I at peace with my body. Frankly, I hate my body. I would love nips and tucks and for something to be a little tighter or longer or leaner. Sure, I'd enjoy longer lashes but I wouldn't put anything on my eye lids to make it happen; I'd get false lashes. Or use this great invention called MASCARA. Just like I would love better, firmer breasts but I wouldn't have someone put an "injectable" into my boob so that I could have them for a brief moment. I'd just get a better bra.

I am not a woman who mocks plastic surgeries and finds them all silly and unnecessary. I'm not some uberfeminist who feels that woman are keeping themselves down and damn the man! LET'S ALL BURN OUR BRAS! I'm just a woman who knows that nothing is perfect and that there are things out there to help with the imperfections. I'm a woman who knows that right now there are things that can improve what I hate but at the end of the day these things can be removed and I can be soft and lumpy. I don't need permanence and I don't understand why at the end of the day some women cannot say,"This is my body. It sucks but at least I can appreciate it."

Back to School Bags for Grown Ups

2009-09-02T22:42:58-05:00

My last first day of school was many moons ago. But now that I have a job that runs by the school calendar I'm prone to newness come September. I clean off my desk and pretend it's my new year. I also have a bit of a crush on handbags; looks, textures and styles. I'm pleased that when it comes down to it, a handbag will never make my butt look too big. I can't get uniboob from my bag. While I'm not in the market for anything new I'm more than happy to discuss them at length and imagine the waft of new bag smell.

I know I've said it once but I'll say it 150 more times before The Masses really understand that if you're going to spend money on something...your hard earned money that took hours of toiling away to earn then you should spend it on form and function over the trend du jour. So if 'hardware' is in? Great. But I'm wholly against dropping $450 on a bag from Trendy New Designer because you saw it in Vogue.

My sophomore thru senior years of college all I did was intern and it seems that people are heading into the professional workforce earlier and earlier these days. So when it comes to form and function my absolute favorite bag is courtesy of the Coach outlet. A classic Coach "shopper" with zippers and pockets galore. Large enough to fit a laptop and work paraphernalia. Most importantly it fits a smaller clutch inside. The smaller clutch is imperative: It keeps me from losing the really important things and inside the clutch I usually keep the essentials. From meds to cash to lip gloss.

Right now is the time to have a transitional that goes seamlessly from day to night for your transitional life. The clutch is in there so to keep from carrying something cumbersome at night after a long day.

I suggest simplicity. Nothing over the top hence my hesitance towards anything trendy. I like things that can be tossed over my shoulder or cross-body for those busy commutes on buses and metro cars but nothing that is too extravagant because let's face it: as an intern to the newest member of Congress from Indiana you're getting paid in the negative dollars.

Here are my current favorites:

1) The clutch above from Martin & Osa ($99.50)

An
Italian leather clutch with a sleek, sophisticated silhouette that
transcends day into night. Subtly detailed with trapunto stitching + a
single front pleat.

2) The Kangaroo Pouch Tote/Messenger from the Kinies Etsy shop ($39)

the tote / messenger is made from a Brushed Cotton in GRAY and fully lined in Black viscose. It is a pretty big bag for carrying your gadgets (laptops, books, ipods…). You will love the carefully stitched seams and the durable material, which is pretty awesome!

3) Hollywood Intuition Tote from Target ($29.99).

The purple made me fall in love.

4) Dakine Valet ($64)

I own this bag. It fits perfectly over the handle of my carry-on luggage for run through the airport Mondays.

5) Dooney & Bourke Extra Large Gwenny Tote ($195)

All hail the nylon. When the guy next to you spills his Starbucks on your bag you won't have to freak out.

BlogHer CE, HeatherB also writes about whosits and handbags galore at her personal blog No Pasa Nada.

Would you show your spending records to anyone?

2009-08-11T20:47:04-05:00

That was an email thread I was involved in the other day after someone mentioned a post on My Open Wallet titled My Life in Transactions. In the post Madame X tells the story of entering her every transaction on Quicken via her Treo. A friend sees her doing this and looks through her transactions and sarcastically judges how she spends her money.

"And let's see, Girl Scout Cookies $4...oh, and here's another one where you were drunk, "DUpe keys,"...ooh, was that so Amanda French can get in? And earrings $4.31? What the hell kind of cheap shit earrings did you buy for $4.31? And windshield fluid, what? You don't even have a car, you must have been drinking it when you made all those typos..."

To answer Madame X's question; No. Or as my friend Karen said, "Hayell NO". I will now give you a play by play of the times that I do look at my day to day transactions:

Step one: Take three deep breaths
Step two: Exhale all of the air
Step three: Look skyward and say a quick prayer that I am not completely broke
Step four: Open up my Bank of America account
Step five: KEEP BREATHING
Step six: Look at accounts
Step seven: Hold breath
Step eight: Exhale
Step nine: I spent HOW MUCH at ETSY? (Support handmade and a crafter's brand new BMW!)
Step ten: I BETTER EAT ALL $50 WORTH OF PRODUCE. PRODUCE. Stuff that comes from the ground. I need to learn to farm.
Step eleven: Close out of Bank of America as my blood pressure sky rockets

And scene.

I do have separate accounts so that I don't end up homeless or hungry but still, to look through my day to day transactions might give me a small heart attack. So I don't. Never mind showing off my bank statements or my spending to the general public. And I include close friends, family and confidants in the latter group.

It has nothing to do with the judgement for people will judge no matter what and as I told another friend named Karen, if I want to buy a dress, I should be able to buy a dress without having to hear from my friends about my wasteful spending. It's just that discussing money so openly and flaunting how another is so totally spending THEIR money wrong is so very rude.

That has always been my hang up when it came to blogging about personal finances and so many personal finance bloggers are so good at detailing exactly how they spend every single day. But I have had it happen where I am told how awful I am for how I spend. Though I share it openly I then sit back and wonder, how is it anyone else's business? Most of us are taught by our parents that to discuss money is a no-no, no matter how curious. To inspect every detail of another's finances will naturally lead to assumptions as to another's lifestyle. And while life isn't fair I do find it a bit presumptuous to make a grand assumption of my fabulous life based on one $136 transaction to Anthropologie or my $40 on fruit. Because if you really wanted to know the former was having a sale and the latter? I just really love Rainier Cherries. The end.

What say you? Would you ever show your spending records to anyone? Have you ever?

Heather B. writes about anything but her finances at No Pasa Nada. She really did spend $40 on fruit the other day. Almost all of it is now gone. So there!

Naomi Sims, First Black Model on the Cover of Ladies Home Journal, dies at 61

2009-08-05T15:46:39-05:00

From the New York Times

Naomi Sims, whose appearance as the first black model on the cover of Ladies’ Home Journal in November 1968 was a consummate moment of the Black is Beautiful movement, and who went on to design successful collections of wigs and cosmetics for black women under her name, died Saturday in Newark. She was 61 and lived in Newark.

“It helped me more than anything else because it showed my face,” Ms. Sims told Ladies’ Home Journal the following year, when she appeared on its cover, the first time a black model was featured so prominently in a mainstream women’s publication. “After it was aired, people wanted to find out about me and use me.”

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am spoiled. Not in the common meaning of the word where everything is handed to me but in the way that I -- along with others of my generation -- think that things have always been a certain way and how could anything have ever been different? Each week we watch the likes of Tyra Banks on America's Next Top Model. Entertaining in the train wreck way but we still watch despite her often ridiculous catch phrases and often think nothing of her race or the girls competeing to become America's Next Top Model. It just is. The end.

But when someone like Naomi Sims dies; someone who embodied the "black is beautiful" movement, it forces the mind to think of a time when things weren't the way they are now. I think of my parents. They're both southerners one from Birmingham and the other from West Virginia. My father growing up during the Civil Rights movement; my mother being told that she was "too dark skinned." They tell me these stories as their memories and I keep them in the recesses of my mind because it isn't now.

The problem is the forgetting. Forgetting that there might have been a time where being black or 'dark-skinned' was an awful thing. God forbid putting a woman who didn't pass the "brown paper bag test" on the cover of a magazine. It was unheard of. Even Naomi Sims herself said that even after being on the cover of magazines that she was still wasn't treated the same as the other models. Which is how it always is, right? The first breaks the mold and the next get a little bit of a break.

Young women like me hear the stories of the past and triumphs of showing that black is beautiful (and I'm pretty biased, but I think it is), and possibly while we are rolling our eyes, we are also thankful. Appreciative of the women like Naomi Sims who went first so that we could have our Tyra Banks-watching lives made that much easier.

Related reading on the death of Ms. Sims:

The Root

The Sirens Chronicles (written by the Angry Black Bitch)

Heather B. also writes at No Pasa Nada

How to make a home in three easy, non-bankrupting steps

2009-08-04T13:46:03-05:00

That I had to have a discussion with my therapist about moving must give some insight onto my feelings toward moving. I have very deep, anxiety filled feelings about packing my things and moving from one place to the next. Most recently it was down the street (seriously, I can walk the two blocks) and one would have thought that I was moving to San Diego with the theatrics and the Scarlet O'Hara drama that came forth from my person. Newsflash: I hate moving.

My therapist was less concerned about the move because really it's moving and it sucks either way; she of course wanted to look deeper because that's her job. She questioned how I would make this my home as opposed to just some place to rest my head once a week. And that was the kicker. It's how I treated my last home; like a hotel and the ones before were so temporary that it was hard not to feel like it was just a stopping place.

For two years I kept almost every possession in my bedroom and what wasn't strewn about on the floor there was safely kept in my father's basement. Near a ladybug lovemaking field (My father lives so far up north and in the wilderness that he might as well be in Canada) (but I digress). Now I would have an apartment of my very own and despite other reservations like how I would end up a reclusive, crazy cat lady there was the ever important, How will I furnish this place and still have money to like eat and stuff?

A daunting task at best when you are literally starting with nothing but a mattress and maybe a dresser. The dresser an excellent addition for that is a far better place to keep your socks and underwear than on the floor. But other than that? Nothing. As I hyperventilated into a paper bag because HAVE YOU ALL SEEN THE PRICE OF A COUCH? Highway robbery! I made lists and divided the furnishing and decorating of my home into three separate phases. The phases going from most pressing (a bed) to least pressing (photo prints to put up in my living room).

Step one: Order a bed. Depending on your age or lot in life a bed can fall anywhere from $150 to in the thousands. The decision largely relies upon your ability withstand reading the directions for Ikea furniture and how to use one of those teeny tiny wrenches. After two Ikea beds I've finally decided to say enough with wasting money every time I move and get a 'grown up' bed. Not that Ikea beds aren't grown up it's just that I've owned two and now they're both in pieces somewhere between Washington, DC and Albany. Not to mention that I might as well go for quality after wasting that much money.

Step two: See what you can get from friends and family. And by 'get' I mean bogart while your parents aren't looking. Survey what you might need and before maxing out a credit card at Bed, Bath and Beyond see what others have and are willing to give up. I ended up with a microwave from a friend who was going to give hers away and a bunch of furniture and drinking glasses from my parents who were glad to give stuff away. Though I'm not sure exactly how glad they were since everything my parents gave me they would pet fondly and tell me that they've had this dresser/table/mirror for longer than I've been alive and then wistfully think of life without me. But check out things like Craigslist and Freecycle even. People are always looking to give stuff away but people closest to you are always a great way to start

Step three: Ikea. Ikea. Ikea. Even though I'm done with wasting my money on something I have to sleep on that doesn't mean that I won't venture to this mecca for smaller items like a tv stand or a coffee table. Heck, I have a large cabinet from Ikea that has lasted me for more than a decade. There is some pretty great stuff there and if you are just starting out and have to purchase most everything else then I'd highly suggest a visit there. Reading this post from Amalah kind of made me drool every time she said Ikea and then I did this weird dance in my seat thinking about my upcoming visit and the lists I have for that place.

My budget - gotta have a budget - is driving this ship. I'm doing things in phases which leaves time for me to focus on a particular part of the house before moving onto the next. It also means I'm not buying everything all at once or nothing at all while I save. Taking it nice and easy and maybe setting an end date keeps you on track money-wise. You'll be more inclined to save money so that you have a place to lay your head at night instead of buying a pair of shoes. And coming from me, that says a lot.

Related reading for a little inspiration:

Design Sponge

The Etsy Handmade Blog

Decor8's shopping category

Heather B. also writes at No Pasa Nada where she will be documenting the decorating process. Send her some good juju as she attempts to paint her living room.

I've got a thing for shapewear

2009-08-03T20:21:39-05:00

This is a compensated review from BlogHer and Yummie Tummie.

I don't know if you have a mother like mine or you are a mother like mine but moms? They notice everything. Every bump, scratch, ripple, tag, even the way a shirt hangs. My mother can spot it all with her bionic mother vision. I guess it's one of those things that happens immediately after giving birth: lactating and the ability to notice that your child has gained half an ounce in her hips.

So when I gained weight - or as my mother said, "You look puffy..." - my mother went on this long winded diatribe on how I might want to invest in some shapewear. "Just for smoothing, Heather Lynn". She softens the blow by saying "that dress is really cute...but there are some lumps."

But I, the lady, doth protest. "Like a girdle?" I spit the word out and envisioned looking like Betty Draper. All pointy and pinched. I shuddered and in response she gave me those motherly I-know-better-than-you-do eyes and so I went on a mission.

First off; when you're testing out a new clothing product to go straight for the most expensive thing you've heard of. My mother suggested Spanx which she loves! She wears it under everything! You can wear it and rainbows will shoot forth from your breasts! I instead headed for Marshalls for $10 experimental shapewear that I could love or leave. I ended up with a tank top, two pairs of underwear that go up into my armpits and a fitted slip.

When I got home I shimmied into those giant 'stomach in holding' underwear and admired the way my stomach looked in the mirror. Left, right, front. It was smoother. A miracle it was until the next day when I had to wear the magical underwear for an entire day. There was riding up of the slip. The following day my underpants were emphasizing my muffing top instead of hiding it. But there were still more things to test. I had hope. My favorite ended up being this one piece contraption to wear under dresses.

Ya'll I was all happy and ecstatic and high-fiving my dog because I was all sucked in. Who cares that my spleen shot out of my mouth? I looked slimmer. The brand was Maidenform (if you don't have an outlet near you then I'm sorry) and I was in love. That is until I had to use the bathroom.

Men, feel free to close your eyes when I get to this part. Are they closed?

Oh my God, to take that contraption off in order to pee involved cooking grease, a prayer on a rosary and someone from Cirque de Soleil teaching me how to contort my body in such a way that I could remove almost all of my clothing but not completely and you know, NOT pee all over every article of clothing.

Being a woman can be so dignified.

I went home to tell my roommate about my acrobatics and she told me that she didn't believe in shapewear and I said that I can get behind anything that makes me not look like I'm 19 weeks pregnant. I'd rather be slightly uncomfortable than have someone ask when my baby is due.

Fast forward to several weeks ago when I was asked to test out shapewear for a company called Yummie Tummie during the BlogHer conference. Two tank tops that could easily be worn under a number of dresses. Instead of being all stretchy and full of spandex, the top and the bottom of the tanks were made of t-shirt material with the center being the actual stomach holding in panel part (is there a word for this?). So one day I wore my black tank top under a black ruffled shirt and it looked as if I was just wearing a t-shirt instead of straight up shapewear. I also loved that they were tank tops. I own numerous tanks in black and white to wear under dresses and these were the first that held all of 'IT' in and didn't force me to remove my shoulder from its socket. My only suggestion is to order a size larger than you normally wear to keep the YT from ending up somewhere near your armpits and your cleavage all out while speaking on a panel. Not that that ever happened.

Lucky for you beautiful and faithful BeautyHacks readers Yummie Tummie is providing a special BlogHer offer: 30% off any Yummie Tummie product - including their new fall line - using the code:BLOGHER30 good thru this Friday, 8/7.

Here are a few more Yummie Tummie reviews:

Heather B. also blogs at No Pasa Nada. She really loves shapewear. No, really.

Women of Color and Marketing: The room, the session and when will the conversation end

2009-07-28T23:21:20-05:00

Whenever I write something and put my thoughts out there I feel pretty done with it. Like that thing that was taking up all of this valuable space in my brain is now out and I no longer think of it. Such as it was with a post from two years ago; a brief recap of the events that occurred during the State of the Momosphere session during BlogHer 2007. Once my thoughts on unanswered questions as to why women (including) moms of color do not receive nearly the number of pitches that our - well, white - counterparts might receive, I put it out there and only brought up occasionally.

In the years that followed I rarely thought of it until I began to receive pitches in my inbox. From various agencies of varying specialties. I formed relationships with a few companies based not on traffic stats, for I have no clue what they are, but because they got to know me. They got to know my readers and asked that I participate.

Fast forward to a conversation with Karen Walrond one day. Over gchat we discussed the things that we discuss; hair. Hair. And oh my God, have you all seen my hair? I don't remember how but in a rare act of spontaneity I submitted a Room of Your Own panel for BlogHer 2009. The topic? Women of Color and Marketing. We recruited Kelly Wickham and then Stefania Pomponi-Butler and there it was.

And as I said during this panel this past Saturday, I had no earthly clue that anyone would be interested. I never thought we'd get picked. I didn't think that this community in which I have made a little home for myself would care but you did so there we were. In front of a packed room discussing how women of color and marketers can engage one another. How the way companies have come to women of color since President Obama became elected (you know that 'post-racial' era that we've entered) (obviously) (WTF is post-racial?). And how marketers still screw it up.

That last point has nothing to do with women of color it has to do with every niche in the blogosphere. Sometimes companies don't read a blog, sometimes companies call bloggers by the wrong name and in my case, sometimes companies ask me about my life as a busy mom and ask that I test out some home dry cleaning product. Which, cool, because I do in fact dry clean my clothes. I also swiffer and drive. I shop at Target. I buy snacks. I wear makeup. I do all of the things that white women do. I do all of the things that women in general do. But I'm never pitched to. That will always be my chief complaint; while I feel the issues with race and will never understand what it means to 'sound more black' when speaking of a product on my blog. The blog of a woman who lives in Upstate NY and therefore this is about as black sounding as I get. Though that doesn't hit me as hard as feeling like just because I am a single woman in the blogosphere that I don't matter.

Before this session I spoke with one of my favorite PR companies. The chief reacher outer (totally not her job title but you get my point) said that women come to her all of the time. They beg to be included. They want the free product. They provide stats, Alexa ratings, hard numbers that say they can get the word out. I don't do that. I sit at No Pasa Nada and I write about my little life. I blog not because I'm looking for fame and fortune but because I cannot imagine not writing. Regardless, the woman at the company said that numbers don't matter. It's influence. I have influence (I assure you it isn't much) but that's what many companies are looking for. And it made me feel better to know that a) I had influence and that b) I was a great blog to work with given my readership and this current life I lead.

Thusly the crux of this perceived problem is influence. That some companies don't know the influence of a blogger. It's also that 'generation gap' I mentioned; between bloggers who started between 2000-2005. Those who started to share their lives, cool stuff, tell stories and those who started in 2007-2008 and even now. Those who started not to tell a good story but to get some sort of monetary gain out of blogging.

All of the above was pointed out during the session and it's a lot to process. But in the end, what I most remember from one attendee was; When will this conversation end? I don't know. I really don't.

Here are some recaps from those who attended:

Amelia Sprout

I was not disappointed. Not only did I hear from these wonderful women, but also members
of the audience. I listened and I learned about the power of community,
the power of humor, and how we all have a responsibility to our
community both online and offline. I was able to be a part of a
discussion that I don't think could happen without blogging, without
something like BlogHer to bring it all together. I realized that
because of that session, things will change.

Pop Discourse

6. Related to point #5, bloggers of color also should go to bat for
one another. Spread the good karma and recommend fellow bloggers of
colors for niche campaigns, or just other awesome bloggers in general
for non-niche campaigns.

7. To appeal to consumers of color, brands must have images on their
site that reflect diversity (seems like a no brainer but a lot of
companies do not do this).

8. And possibly the most important lesson of all, do not try to
adjust the dial of a writer’s voice to make it fit your campaign. Carol
of NYCity Mama didn’t appreciate being asked to blog more Latina. Oh yes, she really was asked to do that.

TechSavvyMama

I loved the session on marketing to bloggers of color because of the
issues it make me think about as a Chinese American blogger of biracial
children. The discussion on this very current topic made me wonder if
there are marketing and PR professionals who seek me out just to meet
their Asian demographic or because they like my writing and site
content.

HeatherB also writes at No Pasa Nada. She does NOT have children but she still uses a Swiffer.

And now I understand branding your blog...and yourself

2009-07-16T20:30:06-05:00

For every mention of 'branding your blog' I have laughed. Because are we bloggers writing about the minute details of our lives or are we Nabisco trying to get every man and child to enjoy our 'Nilla Wafers? Having recently conversed on the all too complicated differneces and nuances between old school bloggers and new school bloggers I still go back to that old timey feeling that blogging is just blogging. Not necessarily a business or a brand as some seem to think but more like, Hey! Want to hear about that time I learned how to tie a cherry stem with my tongue? The end. Those everyday moments that make up the bigger picture.

The thing is you move deeper into the trenches of this whole world wide web. You learn and you see and you make your voice your own. I had the pleasure of attending a social media breakfast right here in Upstate NY and the branding conversation came up. It's not just about business but about protecting the the person you've become online so that no one can come up and take that away from you. It's about knowing what's being said about you and that uniformity around the Internet. Just think; many of us have spent years building this little world. A persona perhaps and not necessarily real but still our world where our site matches our Twitter which matches our Flickr page.

Much to my chagrin I've realized that I want people to equate No Pasa Nada with the name Heather B. There are even sites like knowem.com where you can make sure that everything comes together in this neat package of social media branding. And lo, you are everywhere. It's both fascinating and something that most old schoolers - or at least I never thought about until recently.

About a month ago my website was hacked. And the hacking of my website resulted in a suspended Twitter account. Telling people in the 'real world' about it, they were all blase like oh, it's just the Internet. But people on the Internet got it. And finally, I got it. I had spent years building this nice little world. And I mean teeny-tiny. But it was my world with my thing going on and my branding. In one fell swoop my little piece of the Internet was taken from me. Sure I got my site back and I was able to start a new Twitter account. But NoPasaNada on Twitter is gone. HeatherB is already taken. So it was like starting fresh and trying to get people to come back to me.

Branding isn't just some selling tactic; it's a way for people to know what they will be getting when they see your name. It's a the way people know that if they see No Pasa Nada they'll see cursing, wine and JCrew. It's a world - however intimate - that I have built for myself on the Internet.

Building a brand is nothing more than saying, "Hey world. Here I am. You know what's coming for you". It's my ability to be me on the world wide web no matter where I am.

Resources on branding can be found EVERYWHERE but here is some related reading:

7 Ways to Brand Your Blog

Your Blog, Your Name, Your Brand, Your Risk

Personal Branding 101

HeatherB blogs at No Pasa Nada and Twitters (or is it tweets?) at twitter.com/TheHeatherB

Happy Summer. Go forth and be frugal!

2009-07-10T08:20:11-05:00

Sometimes I dread summer. Yeah, I said it. I'm sure that at one time or another I loved summer and camping and sitting outside catching fireflies and [insert happy suburban memory here] but then adulthood rears its ugly little head and carefree anything has to be cautiously planned. Conferences across the country prevent me from enjoying a solid vacation of just being. And like most others we're still in Recession-Depression and meticulously counting pennies and cheering at the slightest glimpse of something shiny under the couch cushion.
I think we're all learning to cope and just keep on keeping on through the ebb and flow. So here are some posts to help get you through the summer. Eating, travel and trying to decide what to save on and what to scrimp on.

Wellheeled's numbers 1,4, and 5 on her list of "5 things I won't cheap out on" speak to me. It's so how I am, especially number 5. I've been enough hotel chains to know which ones have good upkeep and which will make you vomit by looking in the shower drain. Hint: DO NOT LOOK DOWN THE SHOWER DRAIN. Not even on a dare. With a $500 million prize at the end.

Hotels – During college, I stayed at hostels for $15 a night in Europe. I’m several years removed from that experience now, and I don’t think I can ever go back. I like a nice King-sized bed, a convenient location, and responsive customer service. To accomodate both my inflated taste and my budget, I turn to Hotwire.com. I’ve booked the Westin, the Hilton, and the Omni through the website, all for 40%-50% off the listed price on the hotel’s website. Win – win.

Speaking of travel because I was just talking about it and it's summer and what else is there to do? Fabulously "Broke"...in the City has a post up on how to travel for on $1,000 or less. For me spending less than a grand on my own would be a thrilling feat. Let's just say that it's very rare. Now is the time to travel well; when cities are craving tourists.

We never. Ever. EVER take cabs any more.

We find the cabs here to not only make BF's back hurt (the seats are too old and much too soft to sit in for him), but also that they have a special knack of making me nauseous within a couple of seconds.

So our new philosophy is to go cab-less, which has turned out for the best.

To get from the airport to our hotel, there's usually always a transit system available, so we research that ahead of time.

We also calculate the price difference between taking the transit ad hoc, or buying week long passes if the city is huge like in NYC, but in Boston for example, we just walked everywhere.

And finally I have a nutritionist now. Something I should have done many months ago before bathing suit season and not during. Regardless my diet plan involves a massive amount of fruits and vegetables and planning. The crazy part is that I'm spending less at the store because I know exactly what I need and cannot deviate from that. At Living Well on Less, Karen writes about healthy eating being frugal eating. Which dude, it totally is.

Shop smart for whole foods.

One of the biggest reasons I’m not a big couponer is that we don’t buy processed foods, and coupons aren’t available for things like produce and fresh meat. While we could get processed items for next to nothing with coupons, I compare nutritional value. You’ll get more nutritional bang for your buck by shopping for fresh produce and meats.

So how do you cut costs on whole foods without coupons? Shop in season and shop on sale. Fresh fruits and vegetables can get quite pricey, but each week there’s something on special. Plan your meals around these items to maximize your grocery dollars without eating unhealthy processed foods.

HeatherB also writes at No Pasa Nada. Her grocery bill used to be like $80 now it's $33 with zero processed foods. She wishes she had thought of this sooner.

What's in your bag? The BlogHer 2009 Edition

2009-07-06T21:21:57-05:00

Several months ago I was rendered with an inability to read a calendar properly coupled with a sudden need to be everywhere at once and lo my July blew up like a float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. There are conventions and one night affairs in cities 3,000 miles away and a move to somewhere...anywhere besides the home of one of my parents both for their benefit and mine. We'd all like to make it through the summer alive. So in a fit of panic I packed my bag for BlogHer. Because at some point several months ago I thought that I could go from a massive convention to BlogHer without stopping at home and it would be all awesome and wonderful (and excuse me while I have an anxiety attack and fan myself) but...it isn't awesome or wonderful. It sucks.

Hey! I'm almost packed for the BlogHer conference! Some might think this to be good planning. No stress come July 22nd where I'm standing over my suitcase in tears and staring at my butt in the mirror because it's huge and WHAT DO I HAVE TO MASK THE HUGENESS?!? I'm so prepared right now that it's disgusting. Because...dun dun duuuun (and as I said in this post) I'm bringing things that I'd normally wear anyway. Which is key ladies (and gentlemen) be yourself. It sounds so much easier on paper (or screen) and then in real life you're hyperventilating because the illusive "They" might not like your dress/shoes/pants but whatever. I'm here to say that this is what I will be wearing at BlogHer and I really don't care if you hate everything I own.

But maybe I care.

A little bit.

Ok I do.

First off dresses: Lots of dresses because I own one pair of black capri pants that I enjoy but I like to be easy and breezy and I'm most comfortable in dresses.

Then cardigans: Three different lengths because I'm all about being warm and comfortable while sitting in a freezing cold, air conditioned hotel room and trying to pay attention to a session on how marketing and social media are conjoined. I don't care if I'm the one discussing it, I'll need to be alert and WARM.

Shoes: They're good. They should be on your feet in most establishments. Those green flats? I own FOUR pairs of those shoes. Not saying where they're from but four pairs must means love...and never having to say your sorry. The black ones are from Hayden Harnett and my feet and I are very grateful to the lovelies in Brooklyn. We salute you.

And The Bag: I bought this bag during Hayden Harnett's Big Bang Sale - which is still going on - but you can smell the leather from a mile away not to mention that it's just a super wonderful bag. It's big enough for the camera and an extra lens plus all the superfluous things that I'll never use but will want to carry with me anyway. It won't fit my laptop and I'm ok with that. It means less time with my nose in Politico.com and more time focused on how to brand my blog.

That's what I'm bringing. At least I'm 80% sure that is what I'm bringing barring any sort of freak accident that makes my butt like four times smaller. Hopefully this will give you some ideas. Sooo? What are YOU bringing?

HeatherB also writes about bags, clothes and shoes at No Pasa Nada.

A Woman's Business: Isabel Kallman

2009-06-23T12:29:49-05:00

BlogHer was started to find where the women in technology and
blogging were. Now that thousands of them have been found I'm on a
quest to find and talk to my favorite women in the blogosphere. Women
who make my jaw drop with their enthusiasm for for communicating within
a new and often changing space, women who are always ready for more.
I'm not that type of woman; the kind that works on project after
project and it terrifies me to even think of leaving Real Job for a
life of being an entrepreneur but the women I will be interviewing in
this series have done just that. They've gone after what they wanted
and took control of their careers and for that reason I am often in awe
of what they've done with their lives and how they've gotten here.

Isabel Kallman. What can I say about Isabel that hasn't already been said before? Since starting her successful website AlphaMom, she has been called the Martha Stewart of parenting and I'm pretty sure she's a genius or something very close to it. Isabel is one tough cookie in her high-heels and she's always ready for more when it comes to her business.

1) You are the "chief cook and bottle washer" for AlphaMom. What exactly is
AlphaMom and how does it differ from other parenting sites?

Alphamom is an editorial destination focusing on parents and a research and
marketing company focued on reaching moms. I guess what makes us different
is that our editorial is written through the filter that becoming a mother
is not natural to many women and rather than turn to Grandma, their first
instinct is to turn to Google.

2) Prior to starting AlphaMom you worked on Wall Street. What made you
decide to leave and start your own business?

I worked on Wall Street for a decade, had a great job and was really good at
it. But, I was bored and not passionate about stocks. I retired when I had
my son, at the beginning of my maternity leave.

You know how they say that necessity is the mother of invention? Well, a
year into my 'retirement' or 'sabbatical' (semantics, really), the idea of
Alpha Mom was born. It was clear that there were millions of other women
who felt as unprepared for motherhood as I did when their babies were first
born. Our mission was to become their helping hand and speak to them in a
supportive, not patronizing, voice. Oh, and in case you're wondering, I've
never been bored with work since.

3) There has been plenty of talk in the last year - notably on morning news
shows - as to how people define the term 'Alpha Mom'. What is your
definition?

Alpha Moms are everywhere. You probably work with one, maybe your sister is
one, or maybe you¹re married to one. Our research shows that 22% of online
moms are considered Alpha Moms, or about 11 million women. And, really the
definition is simple.

A) They are passionate (not obsessive) about parenting. But they are also
passionate about politics, scrapbooking, shoes, hair, and books for example.
However, motherhood does not define them.

B) As mentioned above, Alpha Moms went through an intense period of ³mother
shock when they had their first child and their instinct was to run to
Google, not Grandma. Grandma doesn't know about BPA in baby bottles, for
example.

C) They get a high from knowing things first.

D) And once they know something, they can¹t help themselves but share it, be
it good or bad. (Remember the recall of the Thomas the Tank Engine toys? By
the time it hit the NY Times, that news had been passed around the mom world
several times over).

Because of these characteristics, an independent researcher found that Alpha
Moms are at least 50% more influential than other online moms. We like that
definition!

4) I have been reading the site for a few years now and there
have been many changes. What do you see as the future of the site and is it
different from what you had envisioned when it started?

First of all, thank you for your support.

It's interesting, Heather, that you think Alpha Mom has changed a lot since
we first launched. In fact, I think we have moved along at a steady pace in
terms of evolution. I love that our writers have worked with us for a
prolonged period of time. It shows stability and consistency, which as you
know is lacking out there on the interwebs, where it seems websites change
color and tone more often than people change their underwear.

Our evolution has been organic driven by feedback we get from our readers
and responding to the marketplace. Thus, I am very excited about our
research and marketing business arm, Alphamom Labs, where companies can get
access to our opinionated readers and have honest dialogues about existing
or coming-to-market products and services for families. I always think that
when a product passes a mom¹s sniff test, every consumer benefits. When you
become a mom, the children of the world become your children. It's more
than just about her family, it's about her friends' families too.

We have lots of exciting dreams and plans in terms of areas we¹d like to
grow. Hopefully that will come soon.

5) Has the current state of the economy forced you to change your business
model and day to day operation of the site?

The economy has delayed implementing our expansion plans, which were quite
aggressive a year ago. However, we're getting creative on how we can still
execute on our ambitions. Rather than looking at raising capital, we're
looking at strategic alternatives, which we think are better shorter- and
longer-term. Nice silver lining to the sucky economy, huh?

Day-to-day has been pretty steady. We're focused and our goal is to continue
to produce content that is consistently fresh and puts a smile on our
readers' faces or thoughtful introspection. We'll take a raised fist in the
air, too.

6) And finally - my favorite question - what do you want to be when you grow
up?

Girl, I'm already grown up. Wink.

Thanks, Isabel!

For more on Isabel check out her 5 Minutes for mom interview, Her "Fearless" article on Huffington Post. And next up in "A Woman's Business" an interview with Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess.

HeatherB is not a mom and doesn't play one on No Pasa Nada and still people seem to think she's one. It's weird.