My mother refused to get disposable diapers for my dolls, and instead showed me how to fold cloth diapers. I was an outcast even before I grew up.
Years later, I remember ranting to my mom about how unfair it was that the paper-product industry had women over a barrel because we had to buy pads or tampons for our periods.
A few years after that, my mom and I were in Olympia, WA checking out a college when we stumbled on Glad Rags, washable menstrual pads. Amazed, and slightly grossed out (recalling Mom's stories of how her friend had to use rags while staying with Italian nuns in a remote area of Sudan (or Kenya, can't recall which)), we decided to buy the Glad Rag and see how it worked. I have to say that I had mixed results, but I bled through disposable pads anyway, so it didn't really make much of a difference at first. I suspect using cloth may have helped to lighten my flow, but I am not sure. And, breastfeeding for nearly three years now, I've only had two or three periods in the past four years now anyway.
So, point being, that I found out pretty easily that not only were there many, many cloth diaper users around "these days," but also that cloth had evoloved into many, many, many varations to make it "easier" to diaper with cloth. Better for baby, better for momma earth, sounds good. So, while pregnant, I ebay'd a collection of various diapers. Many were "just like disposable" types (either All-In-Ones or Pocket Diapers), made for ease of use. These run about $15-25 a piece. When a typical stash of diapers is about 24-36, that is a lot of moolah.
With our third anniversary of cloth diapering quickly approaching (January!), I have found myself LMAO the past couple of weeks after a friend suggested I take flats (flat fold, read: a piece of cloth surged or hemmed) and PUL diaper covers on our upcoming trip, to save $$ on dryer usage. So, she and I whipped up a bunch of new covers and quickly discovered that receiving blankets make excellent flats. My diapered baby will be six months next week and she will be sporting whole new stash which probably is worth a grand total of ... $150 and that is being a bit generous. Granted, if I did not have a sewing genius with a snap press for a friend, I would not be so lucky with the covers, but even so, I could have gone to the local diaper swap and picked some up last weekend on the cheap.
Now, I knew about prefolds and snappi's with Gerber vinyl pants as a cheap option, but they can make a baby awefully clamy and it is kind of gross because the whole diaper gets soaked. Having said that, the blanket-diaper system we've developed in our home-based R&D "lab" is not all that different, but, by virtue of the snaps, if there is a messy poop, it won't get all over legs on the way down and it is possible to remove a diaper touching only the PUL (oh, sorry, that's a laminated plastic bonded to either broad cloth or polyester). I just think it is so funny, because most families end up with more blankies then they know what to do with -- especially if you have a spring or summer baby like we did this time 'round. Oh, and I just gave a bunch I borrowed (because we homebirthed and needed a bunch on hand for the birth) back. I had gotten some from Freecycle too.
SO, my tip of the day for expecting parents who want to cloth diaper is save those blankets. You can't swaddle with them, so they're pretty pointless otherwise anyway. ;)
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Anyway, being a Mom is something I think I am pretty darned good at at least 75% of the time. Being a wife, however, well, I wish there were Spousal-ing Classes. The Parenting Classes I took were filled with fantastic tips and ideas and built my confidence and the level of joy in our house significantly. If I could find something similar to get my relationship with my spouse back on track...
Five years ago I went to a Sterling Weekend and spent something insane like $800 to come to my "I got my money's worth moment" of "it is women who fear committing." It was an eye opener. From that moment I accepted that I wasn't pulling my weight of responsibility for the way things turned out. However, I have lost all the helpful hints some how and I just succeed in pissing my dear hubby off pretty much constantly.
I must say that I know folks who married other folks who drink, or who left, or whatever and I really do realize I have it good. I married a fantastic person who I knew would be a great parent. It was a decision guided by my intellect as well as my heart and I stand by my choice to this day as it being one of the few things I have done as an adult that "mattered." He is really something special.
BUT, if my job is to manage this relationship, I have really fallen flat on motivating my "work team." My "corporate outings" even fall short of rejuvenating the group. Today, on our fifth anniversary, we had no sitter and we went duck pin bowling with the whole family, ate junk food from the snack bar and the time we almost had with only one daughter awake, I ended up falling asleep. No cards, no nice words, as a matter of fact, the day, excepting the aforementioned highlights, was basically a total wash of grumpy moods and tones of voice that had the elder daughter saying that we were "not talking nice to each other." And, she was, sadly, completely correct.
I tried to be romantic about it. I even found the "something blue" from our wedding and wore them today. Our attempts at getting family to watch kids was really something of a cosmic joke, I'm afraid. My mom is really ill (and an hour and a half away), his mom is dealing with her dad's hospitalization for a fall (and he's in his 80's so this is serious), his sister had company, his aunt just came out of surgery, etc. I was told I was not "up front" enough about wanting him to get a sitter. It is his family we were asking, I guess I should have just done it. Anyway, I do hope hope hope hope that the next half hour we can make up. I don't know if we'll kiss, but seriously, what an unhappy anniversary.
I am trying to think of something upbeat to end this entry with. The sun also rises?? No, I never read that book, I don't even know what it is about. Tomorrow will be a new day though, and while I guess I will never get my request to seek couples therapy, or mediation, or just someone to help us set up ground rules to "fight fair" when we do argue, perhaps it really is all we can do right now just to shove this mess under the carpet along with all the other dust there and hope that someday we can clean it all up. It is days like this that I feel so utterly alone. If my father were still alive, I would have called him hours ago and he may have been able to stop the downward spiral of unkindness that occured today.
Dad, where ever you are, if you can loan me some of your kindness and grace, please, send it this way. It is pointless to even cry.
]]>Who I
am does extend well beyond the day to day. Or, so I keep telling
myself. Having spent my twenties teaching children and teenagers
swimming and gymnastics while in college (yes, for almost a decade), I
sometimes feel that I shouldn't have bothered with college, but I do have
a master's degree now, so I guess that counts for something...speaking
of which, where did we put that paper?? There are many certificates
that I've earned that I did frame (Complementary and Alternative
Healthcare through Marist College, Slovak Language Immersion Institute
from University of Pittsburgh, Birth Doula/Labor Assistant from ALACE),
but for some reason, my MA never made it.
As an adult, I have
been, and plan to be again a Master's swimmer (translation: competitive
swimming for people who are no longer teenagers), and a
cross-country/road racing runner. This past year has involved quite a
bit of sewing with friends and a bit of other "craftiness." I have way
too many ambitious plans in my head most of the time when it comes to
crafts, and I lack the interest, or maybe better put, dedication to,
detail that would elevate what I do to something worth trying to sell.
Still, that is always a thought in my mind.
Right now, my family
is faced with trying to negotiate life with two kids and two somewhat
ego-centric adults with one major income and a bit of occasional pocket
money from me subsituting teaching aquatics and the occasional
doula/childbirth ed gig. It sounds like I might get a couple hours a week in the winter teaching a pre/post-natal class, which would be great, but literally two hours a week. Which is great for my kids, and would save us a bit on the membership to the pool, but, once again, I will most likely be working for the gas money to get to work. Still, as a mom, I find the value of work is more about sanity than anything else. Plus, there is the whole reality that this way I too, will get a workout! Yippie! I am not fanatical about fitness, I just happened to find out that endorphins (or whatever is really happening there, as I seem to remember reading a study a couple years back that it isn't really endorphins doing the work, they're too big for the receptor site or something...) ROCK. Oh, and let me mention here that in childbirth, endorphins (again, see above parenthetica) ROCK!
Anyway, I am a tangental thinker, and a horrible speller. I am sure it will be apparent if you ever browse around my entries. I have no plans on how often or what I will blog about regularly, except that I do plan to keep tabs on my elder daughter's preschool-homeschool co-op here. Just so I have a record of it. I have no idea if I am doing this "right," and really know nothing about blogging ediquitte and frankly, don't really care. This is for me. If you read it and are able to take something useful away, great, I really am happy to think that might happen. However, this is kind of like a little retreat for me, so you are welcome to visit, just don't disturb the peace. Thank you.
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